History Funny / SamAndMaxTheDevilsPlayhouse

-->'''Sam''': What's that? (commissioner speaks) A sudden wave of lawfulness and goodwill spreading throughout the city? (commissioner speaks again) No, we didn't have anything to do with that.

--->'''Max''': The brain is dying...\\
'''Sam''': ...I'm gonna have to call you back, Commissioner, Max has psychic powers now, apparently.

-->'''Max''': "Barney and Jug-Jug"? You're not even trying with the names anymore, aren't you?

-->'''Sam''': Why do we have jumper cables? Neither of us knows how to use them.\\
'''Max''': It's simple, Sam. The red cable goes on the [[ComedicSociopathy right nipple]], and the black cable clamps [[CurseCutShort to the b-]]\\

-->'''Sam''': It's Stinky's cellphone! But why would she have left it behind?\\
'''Max''': Especially since she's got eighteen months left on her contract.\\
'''Sam''': Either there was some kind of struggle, or it was left here for us to find and we're walking right into a trap!\\
'''Max''': I've got it! She waived her early cancellation fees with a recommended device upgrade!\\
'''Sam''': So now we know ''two'' things; ''you're'' an ''idiot'', and this phone is going to lead us ''directly'' to General Skun-ka'pe...somehow.

-->'''Girl Stinky:''' Oh yeah? Did I "misunderstand" this picture he sent me? ''(pulls out her phone and shows the aforementioned picture)''\\

'''Max:''' ''(mortified)'' '''I think I should put on some clothes now.'''

'''Sameth:''' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Because most of us are]] ''[[SoundEffectBleep (bicycle horn)]]'', little buddy.

-->'''Sameth:''' She just can't keep her hands off of us.
-->'''Maximus:''' The things she did to my ears. Whoo! I'm still blushing.
-->'''Nefertiti:''' ''(offscreen)'' You are such liars! I hate you! I wish you were dead!

'''Jurgen:''' Zey are...merely for decoration, okay? I find zem very soothing. [[BadLiar If you are implying zat I have zese zings because I'm afraid of being bitten by a vampire because I am under a curse or somesuch silly nonsense like zat zen I have nozzing for you but mocking laughter]]! ''(hysterical giggling)''

--->'''Jurgen:''' ''(in unspeakably awful German accent)'' Ach, liebeskind! I long for you to remove your mask and show your true identity!\\

** ''(completely deadpan)'' "No, no, for the love of God, no."

-->'''Max''': Could you not kill Sam. He's my designated driver when I'm in the sauce like this.\\
'''Skun-ka'pe''': Oh, my minions are under strict orders not to kill him.\\
'''Max''': That's a relief.\\
'''Skun-ka'pe''': They are to bring him, beaten and bloodied, to my feet so he can see my ascension to ruler of the galaxy!\\
'''Max''': Just as long as he can still drive.

-->'''Papierwaite:''' ''Who is it''?!
-->'''Sam:''' The restless spirit of Ed [=McMahon=], standing here with a giant novelty check!
-->'''Sam:''' It's the vindow viper! I've come to vipe your vindows!
-->'''Sam:''' Door-to-door psychic toy salesman...
-->'''Sam:''' ''(gurgles incoherently, dances like a ballet dancer)''
-->'''Sam:''' Fez-gram!
-->'''Sam:''' [[VideoGame/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade I'm selling these fine Nehru jackets...]]

-->'''Sam:''' Ah cripes, a buncha Sam clones are ghost-riding the [=DeSoto=] in the parking lot!
-->'''Max:''' When were they cloned? 2005?

-->'''Max''': [[LampshadeHanging JUNIOR?!]]

-->'''Harry''': Uncle Morty? Is that really you? Your voice sounds funny.\\
'''Max, Impersonating Morty''': I'VE GOT A COLD.\\
'''Harry''': In ''Heaven?!''\\
'''"Morty"''': And '''WHO''' said I was in HEAVEN?!\\
'''Harry''': Uncle Morty, if that's really you, then tell me the secret you took to your grave!\\
'''"Morty"''': Harry...my stamp collection is hidden...\\
'''Harry''': Yes?\\
'''"Morty"''': In the attic...\\
'''Harry''': ''YES?''\\
'''"Morty"''': '''''OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!''''' (Lightning crashes)

-->'''Sam:''' Do you know anything about these Sam clones running around?
-->'''Bluster Blaster:''' THOSE ARE '''''REAL?!?!'''''
-->'''Sam:''' Uh...Yeah?
-->'''Bluster Blaster:''' '''''HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!'''''
-->'''Max:''' I'll take that as a no.

-->'''Max:''' ''(singing off-key)'' [[MythologyGag I remember my childhood in Brighton]]...[[note]]The first line of "King of the Creatures" from ''Sam & Max Hit the Road''.[[/note]]
-->'''Sam:''' Max, no!

-->'''Satan''': I can tell when I'm not wanted. Come on, Jurgen.
-->'''Jurgen''': Thank wickedness THAT nightmare is finally over.
-->'''Satan''': Let's go back to hell.
-->'''Jurgen''': Oh. Right.

--> '''Roomba!Sam''': ''(As he runs over the cables, trying in vain to pick them up)'' Well, that's about the worst thing that could've happened.

-->'''Sam''': You're lying!
-->'''Narrator''': Oh, very well. I suppose you've forced me to come clean. Sam, I am actually an agent of a much higher power, appearing only to you and Max, to guide you in times of crisis. I believe you mortals would refer to me...as an angel.[[labelnote:Explanation]]One of the most popular theories about the Narrator was that he was an angel who was an invisible advisor to the Freelance Police[[/labelnote]]
--> '''Sam''': Wait...really?
-->'''Narrator''': Of course not! That would be stupid! I am the manifestation of the superego of a psychic rabbit detective mutated into a gigantic beast by a toybox filled with powerful toys from another dimension! [[SelfDeprecation Sometimes, the simplest answer is the correct one.]]

--->'''Sam''': I didn't think Max had a superego.
--->'''Narrator''': Yes, well, [[YouAreFat you're fat]]. It seems neither of us get the respect we deserve.
--->'''Sam''':...You don't have to be a jerk about it.
--->'''Narrator''': Forgive me, I'm lashing out.

-->''[Sam and Papierwaite/Norrington [[HeadTiltinglyKinky stare at her, wide-eyed]]]''.
-->'''Norrington''': '''''Pennies?!'''''

'''Sam:''' Uh, [[BreakingTheFourthWall you turn off the hints?]]

* Use Future Vision on Bluster Blaster, and get a [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment totally random cutscene of him floating through space]], screaming '''''"THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME!"''''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlWv9feA0No See it here.]]

-->'''Max''': "Barnaby and Jug-Jug"? You're not even trying with the names anymore, aren't you?

'''Sam''': Neither of us knows how to use them LEGALLY, Max.

-->'''Narrator''': Oh, very well. I suppose you've forced me to come clean. Sam, I am actually an agent of a much higher power, appearing only to you and Max, to guide you in times of crisis. I believe you mortals would refer to me...as an angel.

--->'''Girl Stinky:''' Oh yeah? Did I "misunderstand" this picture he sent me? ''(pulls out her phone and shows the aforementioned picture)''\\

** Near the halfway point, as Sam & Max try to convince Girl Stinky that Skun-ka'pe isn't actually evil, just misunderstood:

** Later, when the plot reaches the top of the statue, you can hear Harry inside, [[BrickJoke complaining that there's no attic.]]

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-44Ixyx93I This gag.]]

-->'''Sam:''' The restless spirit of Ed [=McMahon=], standing here with a giant novelty check!
-->'''Sam:''' ''(dances like a ballet dancer)''

* "NO! NO! NO! COWS DON'T EAT COOKIES!"

* When you unsuccesfully try to convince Benny that Neferiti is [[BlatantLies totally]] in love with you a few times.

-->'''Nefertiti:''' (offscreen) You are such liars! I hate you! I wish you were dead!

* Speaking of psychic powers, try using Future vision on everything - Not only do you get random haluciantions whenever you pull it out to use, but sometimes you get incredibly silly and useless futures, such as Sam telling Max that the sweater he (would have) bought for himself doesn't suit him, all the incredibly uninteresting futures Sam has when there isn't a relevant puzzle in the area, and futures that show you getting to areas but NOT EXPLAINING how you got there.