History Funny / ProvenGuilty

* Due to being absolutely bone tired at the time, Harry has absolutely ''no'' patience when being subjected to an interrogation by [[RabidCop Detective Greene]] while at [=SPLATTERCON!!!=], with Harry not even bothering to [[TactfulTranslation try and rephrase the actual supernatural events that occurred there]] as something more "normal" that the public would better understand. Harry's narration has him then noting in an aside about how many mental hoops "vanilla mortals" jump through upon first seeing the supernatural, and how when some vanilla cops see the supernatural for the first time, they're easier at accepting it. Harry then notes that by this point in the interrogation, he was ''so'' fed up with Greene's crap that he was tempted to ''levitate Greene onto the ceiling and leave him there'' just to show him the supernatural actually exists [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere before simply walking out of the convention center]].

* Harry quoting the ''Dukes of Hazzard'' after getting into a wreck that requires him to climb out the side of the Beetle.
* Harry kicks down a door, ready for a fight, and shouts, [[ChewBubblegum "And I'm all out of bubblegum!"]]. Naturally, there's nobody there.

'''Harry:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint She was]] ''[[DemonicPossession possessed]]''?\\
'''Michael:''' ''[sighs]'' Possession. Marijuana and Ecstasy. She was at a party and the police raided it. She was caught holding them.

* While at SPLATTERCON!!! Harry and Rawlins have to get those name tags that read "Hello! I'm...". Since the printer is broken, they can write in whatever they want. Harry writes in [[BlatantLies "An Innocent Bystander".]] Rawlins writes "An Authority Figure".
* Bob's reaction to Molly showing up at Harry's door to shower. Giddy doesn't even begin to cover it. Made even funnier in the audiobooks, where Creator/JamesMarsters' giddy Bob voice is absolutely hilarious.
** And once Harry shuts Bob in a drawer to shut him up, ''Lash'' shows up in a mirror and adds that he's got a point.
** A few minutes later, Molly's mother shows up at the door. ''With a priest.'' Naturally, this is the exact moment Molly walks out in nothing but a towel. Cue MegatonPunch from Charity.
* Also in the audiobooks, whenever SPLATTERCON!!! is mentioned, James Marsters says, "Splattercon, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point," in a somewhat deadpan voice.

** For a bit of context, said line was uttered just before Harry engaged a fear-consuming faerie masquerading as an [[LawyerFriendlyCameo unnamed movie monster]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything with black carapace, serrated tail, feline agility, double jaws and acidic blood.]]
** And then [[MoodWhiplash made bitter]] by the fact that, being distracted by enjoying himself awesomely thrashing the monster, he let the actual victim bleed out.
*** In fairness to Harry he couldn't have known she was that critical and letting the faerie escape would have been really bad.

* When Charity is introduced to Thomas, she fixes him with a steady stare and says levelly, "[[ContinuityNod You're the White Court vampire who took my husband to that strip bar.]]"

--> '''Thomas:''' I have a black belt.
* When the team are gearing up to go into the Nevernever, Murphy asks who else he’s bringing for help, to which Harry is evasive, pissing her off.
-->'''Murphy''': You're enjoying this. You just love to dance around questions and spring surprises when you know something the rest of us don't.\\
'''Harry''': It's like heroin for wizards.
* Harry & company are about to raid a Winter stronghold, only to find that someone else has already kicked in the front door and wrecked half the place. Murphy asks who would have the juice to do that, and Harry has no idea.
-->'''Harry''': [[CaptainObvious I...I'm starting to think that maybe I'm getting a little bit out of my depth, here.]] ''[Thomas bursts out laughing]''
* Harry's response to learning just how many Winter fae are coming to kill him.

'''Harry''': Uh. How many of them?\\
'''Lea''': Why, all of Winter, child. [[AllOfThem All of us]].\\
'''Harry''': [[OhCrap Crap.]]

* When the team are gearing up to go into the Nevernever, Murphy asks who else he is bringing for help, to which Harry is evasive, pissing her off.

* One of the greatest WrongGenreSavvy moments of the series: A vampire gloats on how he's going to get away with his murderous crimes because Harry would never dare break "the rules" of the TheMasquerade and reveal the existence of the supernatural to real humans. Harry's response is to point out he's ''in the phone book'' under "Wizards."

* Molly explaining to Harry that she's "explored" to which Harry replies, "Well, Magellan...."

** The best part is, knowing Harry's life (and Michael's, for the times he's 'on the clock'), his assumption makes perfect sense.

** The best part is, knowing Harry's life, his assumption makes perfect sense.

* A bit darker and less intentional than other examples, but when the phobophages attack the Carpenter household, Daniel Carpenter manages to escape Hammerhands, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin the man with sledgehammers for hands]]... by [[LogicalWeakness climbing the ladder to his treehouse]]. The dissonance between the [[NightmareFuel seriousness of the situation]] and the [[Narm kind-of-silliness]] of his method of escape is [[MoodWhiplash sort of hilarious]].

* Bob's reaction to Molly showing up at Harry's door to shower. Giddy doesn't even begin to cover it.
** Made even funnier in the audiobooks, where Creator/JamesMarsters' giddy Bob voice is absolutely hilarious.

* [[LoveHurts Context]] aside, Harry [[spoiler:pouring a jug of ice water on Molly]] is hilarious, if only because he gives her no indication it's coming.

** And the bit about 'solo exploration' and 'going blind'; "You're joking, that's a joke right, Harry?"

-->'''Lea''' You summoned forth the power of Summer here in Arctis Tor, in the heart of all Winter. When you did so, those of Winter felt the agony of it. And now they come to slay you or drive you forth.\\

* While at SPLATTERCON!!! Harry and Rawlins have to get those name tags that read "Hello! I'm...". Since the printer is broken, they can write in whatever they want. Harry writes in [[BlatantLies "An Innocent Bystander".]] Rawlins writes "An Authority Figure".
* Harry gets captured by a second string vampire, who...puts him up for sale on [=eBay=].

* Molly explaining to Harry that she's "explored" to which Harry replies, "Well, Magellan...."
** And the bit about 'going blind'; "You're joking, that's a joke right, Harry?"
* When Charity is introduced to Thomas, she fixes him with a steady stare and says levelly, "[[ContinuityNod You're the White Court vampire who took my husband to a strip club.]]"

* Bob's reaction to Molly showing up at Harry's door to shower. Giddy doesn't even begin to cover it.
** Made even funnier in the audiobooks, where Creator/JamesMarsters' giddy Bob voice is absolutely hilarious.
* Also in the audiobooks, whenever SPLATTERCON!!! is mentioned, James Marsters says, "Splattercon, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point," in a somewhat deadpan voice.

* [[LoveHurts Context]] aside, Harry [[spoiler:pouring a jug of ice water on Molly]] is hilarious, if only because he gives her no indication it's coming.

* A small thing, but Molly explaining to Harry that she's "explored" to which Harry replies, "Well, Magellan...."

'''Harry''': [[OhCrap Crap.]]

* While at SPATTERCON!!! Harry and Rawlins have to get those name tags that read "Hello! I'm...". Since the printer is broken, they can write in whatever they want. Harry writes in [[BlatantLies "An Innocent Bystander".]] Rawlins writes "An Authority Figure".

** Made even funnier in the audiobooks, where JamesMarsters' giddy Bob voice is absolutely hilarious.

* "[[{{Alien}} Get away from her, you]] ''[[ShoutOut bitch!]]''"