VideoGame Great Ideas, Imperfect Execution
I think that's probably the best way to describe Splatoon 3: it could have exceeded expectations, but something got flubbed along the way and it's not the best.
- The singleplayer has a great twist on its bosses, but leaves little room for their characterization. The story during the final stretch of the game rushes like 10 different plot developments into the span of seven levels, which prevents each development from getting the space to breathe and ruminate.
- The multiplayer continues delivering on that "micro arena shooter" design that makes it feel distinct and gives the fast movement around the smalller space more impact; here though, it's cut down to the point of reducing the freedom of where you're allowed to go. The ultimate abilities feel the best-designed this time around, for the most part feeling amazing to use while still giving victims the ability to fight back or play around them — but the balance is pretty bad, with some of them feeling like they're just inferior versions of others. (Missiles vs Super Chump, Kraken vs Reefslider/Hammer)
- Tricolor Turf Wars bring a fun offense/defense dynamic to the game, which is otherwise a purely symmetrical mode. But defense is regularly shafted on the modes for some reason, which just feels like deciding which three of the teams to screw over. (Looking at you, MakoMart, giving attackers a ton of practically free area to cover for points and which is right next to the Ultra Signal.)
VideoGame A Mediocre, Stillborn Game
Splatoon 3 is essentially a technical failure that has failed to improve even with how long the game has been out thus far. Imagine if you took bits and pieces from the previous two games and tried to cram them together even when the pieces don't fit; that's essentially how this game feels. Instead of trying something fresh, it's instead just more of what came before, minus what made the previous entries so stand-out in the first place. Even the single-player mode, which I've always considered to be way more fun than the chaotic online modes, is just a weak "best of" compilation that attempts to mix Octo Canyon with the dubiously challenging Octo Expansion DLC.
Overall I think it's time for this quirkier franchise to try something different, because unless future updates can blow things out of the water, this formula clearly can't hold together for a third installment.
VideoGame Bland Turf War maps hold this back from being the definitive Splatoon; they did great on everything else
To be honest, this is the first Splatoon game I've touched thus far (before Splatoon 2), and I do have a ton of hope for the upcoming Side Order campaign.
I'll start with what I like. First, the specials really feel like specials (unlike, say, ink armor in Turf War, or spamming your sub weapon). Also, there's only a small number of alternate weapon kits, so every main weapon felt unique at the start of my experience. Blasters and Brushes being their own classes does well to set them apart, too.
Also, the single-player levels are a ton of fun, with the most unique standard bosses in Splatoon history, heartwarming tagalongs in the forms of Smallfry and Callie, and a story only rivalled by Splatoon 2's Octo Expansion.
Salmon Run is a joy to play, too; little is better than tricking a Steel Eel into exposing its pilot or successfully coordinating against one of the infamous Flyfish. Besides, the varied weapons in these two modes do well to stir me from my complacency.
The side content is cool as well: learning how to play Tableturf well has been fun, and I like decorating my locker so that it feels like a personal locker.
However, there do exist unforeseen flaws: the "updated multiplayer maps" notice and server errors are annoying, the matchmaking and rank system feel especially off here, and the Player Versus Player stages feel too homogenized (Splatoon 2's stages, including the Shifty Stations, strike an ideal balance between competitive and fun mechanics, though) to get away with said unsophisticated matchmaking. Furthermore, certain Salmon Run "known occurrences" are still too easy (Mudmouths and Tornadoes) or too hard (looking at you, Glowflies).
VideoGame It Sure is Splatoon
I'm happy that the third game has much more side content this time around, but ultimately it's just the same as it was before, save for some new weapon types and maps. Turf Wars are still fundamentally slippery with questionable matchmaking at best, ranked modes are nothing new, and Salmon Run continues to be the same overwhelming, chaotic mess that it was in the previous game.
If I had to choose what Splatoon 3 does well though, I'd probably say the music is still amazing, the character designs are super memorable, Tableturf is surprisingly engaging, and the new single player mode is probably one of the most extensive and immersive campaigns we've gotten yet, and I'm rather optimistic about whatever DLC campaign they'll have going on in the future. I definitely want to see more of this because the world of Splatoon lends itself to so much interesting lore and exploration.
VideoGame Side Order: What We've Been Waiting For?
Side Order had a huge amount of expectations put on it ever since it was announced, and many players who grew sick and tired of the franchise's typical third person online shooter presence immediately clung to it hoping for something enjoyable and fresh from what I've always seen as one of Nintendo's most unique and standout IP's.
After playing a lot of what it had to offer and eventually finally conquering the spire, I'm honestly completely ambivalent on my entire experience. Let me say first though: The aesthetic knocks it out of the park, all of the characters have great chemistry with one another, and as someone who is very into a lot of indie electronic and glitch music, the soundtrack for Side Order is right up my alley. Everything else though, while not terrible, was not very impressive either.
It became very apparent to me early on that all of the levels had one consistent theme: Mob destruction, and while I do enjoy a good hack and slash that's all there is here. It does not matter what the main objective of each floor is, you're ultimately just fighting off massive hordes of enemies and trying to survive on a square arena with varying elevations. There's no platforming segments, no puzzles, no speed challenges, it wears on your mind very quickly if you're not accustomed to this type of gameplay. Ironically, for a campaign that claims to be infinitely replayable, it ends up feeling a lot more repetitive than Alterna, I'm afraid. Even the bosses aren't immune to this either, sacrificing unique gimmicks that previous splatoon bosses had for more horde survival.
Ultimately it just makes me scream for more variety. The environments are there, the character development is there, the overall polish is simply immaculate, but the minute-to-minute gameplay is just exhausting and even though it was great to see Pearl and Marina again I just cannot in good faith say it was completely worth the wait. If you're a roguelite fan you might get more mileage out of this than me, but I think they could have done a lot better with this DLC. Granted I still found it a lot more engaging than the typical turf wars and ranked modes, so I think it still has a place in the game just as something different and substantially less grating than the mode the series became most well known for.