Hey, kiddos! Do you love Bleach? Are you sad/upset like so many people that the manga's final arc was rushed to hell and ended so abruptly, leaving many questions unanswered and certain powers unseen? Have you been holding out hope for a sequel manga, databook, or even (gasp) anime adaptation to come along and set right what once went wrong? Well FUCK YOU, because all you're getting for the foreseeable future is a non-canonical GARBAGE FIRE in the form of this light novel by the same author whose writing decisions have plagued the franchise ever since he first got his shot at it back in 2010!
Here in "Can't Fear Your Own World", or "Narita's Continued Misunderstanding of a 15-Year Old Series", watch in awe as:
-Your favorite characters act completely abnormal, stupid, and generally OOC in order to allow the completely ridiculous plot to happen, make the new Big Bad look "cool" and "in control", or comment on how Ichigo and Orihime make such a great couple despite having literally no reason to ship the two! You're sure to love it when two pragmatic and ruthless characters like Byakuya and Shunsui literally let the main villain walk away after he announces his intentions to be a dick right to their faces!
-Tokinada, the very important head of the very important clan that Kubo never mentioned or implied existing in the manga for all 700 chapters but who he most definitely planned to incorporate all along (just like the rest of this novel's content, which he definitely laid out for Narita to write and didn't just provide token material for so he could get paid and keep putting food on the table) proves himself to be a villain so one-note, so bland, so lazily written that he makes Fishbone D look like a nuanced, complex, and understandable antagonist on par with Thanos! Oh, and lest we forget, he's got a Zanpakuto that not only puts Aizen's Kyoka Suigetsu to shame in terms of how utterly broken it is, but it can also copy Absolute Hypnosis - because everyone loves an antagonist whose power is to riff off of other people with no agency or uniqueness of its own! On top of that, as mentioned before, people just keep letting him get away with shit, rather than him actually being smart and powerful enough like Aizen and Yhwach to hide his true nature long enough for his plan to be set into motion or actually outmaneuver them to begin with - the hallmark of an anime filler villain if ever I saw one!
-The setting is turned on its head with the mind-shattering revelation of an "Original Sin"; as it turns out, Tokinada is evil and the Royal Guard, ESPECIALLY Ichibei, that Santa-looking son of a bitch, are even worse BECAUSE...the world used to suck a lot and now it's relatively normal thanks to the Soul King making it so with the help of 5 people. Now THAT'S what I call hype letdown! But Ichibei's still very evil, you see, no one can explain why but trust us, it's definitely not inexplicable bias on Narita's part. Oh yeah, and Tosen's Zanpakuto, Suzumushi, was actually his dead friend's all along, which means he's been using part of another dead person's soul for his entire manga appearance. Wrap your head around that one, people with a basic understanding of the premise!
-Those two Bankai you really, really wanted to see - those of Shinji and Hisagi - end up being supreme letdowns, like everything else Narita has written in his life outside of Baccano! Shinji's Bankai may as well be a weaker version of Kyoka Suigetsu, and Hisagi's completely retcons the nature of Kazeshini, but you know, whatever, right? A stupid answer is apparently better than none at all!
All this and more in the latest and hopefully last Narita-flips-off-rationality-and-restraint extravaganza! Buy it now - or don't, because either way God is dead and shitty writing has killed him!
Literature An Insultingly Awful Crapshoot
Hey, kiddos! Do you love Bleach? Are you sad/upset like so many people that the manga's final arc was rushed to hell and ended so abruptly, leaving many questions unanswered and certain powers unseen? Have you been holding out hope for a sequel manga, databook, or even (gasp) anime adaptation to come along and set right what once went wrong? Well FUCK YOU, because all you're getting for the foreseeable future is a non-canonical GARBAGE FIRE in the form of this light novel by the same author whose writing decisions have plagued the franchise ever since he first got his shot at it back in 2010!
Here in "Can't Fear Your Own World", or "Narita's Continued Misunderstanding of a 15-Year Old Series", watch in awe as:
-Your favorite characters act completely abnormal, stupid, and generally OOC in order to allow the completely ridiculous plot to happen, make the new Big Bad look "cool" and "in control", or comment on how Ichigo and Orihime make such a great couple despite having literally no reason to ship the two! You're sure to love it when two pragmatic and ruthless characters like Byakuya and Shunsui literally let the main villain walk away after he announces his intentions to be a dick right to their faces!
-Tokinada, the very important head of the very important clan that Kubo never mentioned or implied existing in the manga for all 700 chapters but who he most definitely planned to incorporate all along (just like the rest of this novel's content, which he definitely laid out for Narita to write and didn't just provide token material for so he could get paid and keep putting food on the table) proves himself to be a villain so one-note, so bland, so lazily written that he makes Fishbone D look like a nuanced, complex, and understandable antagonist on par with Thanos! Oh, and lest we forget, he's got a Zanpakuto that not only puts Aizen's Kyoka Suigetsu to shame in terms of how utterly broken it is, but it can also copy Absolute Hypnosis - because everyone loves an antagonist whose power is to riff off of other people with no agency or uniqueness of its own! On top of that, as mentioned before, people just keep letting him get away with shit, rather than him actually being smart and powerful enough like Aizen and Yhwach to hide his true nature long enough for his plan to be set into motion or actually outmaneuver them to begin with - the hallmark of an anime filler villain if ever I saw one!
-The setting is turned on its head with the mind-shattering revelation of an "Original Sin"; as it turns out, Tokinada is evil and the Royal Guard, ESPECIALLY Ichibei, that Santa-looking son of a bitch, are even worse BECAUSE...the world used to suck a lot and now it's relatively normal thanks to the Soul King making it so with the help of 5 people. Now THAT'S what I call hype letdown! But Ichibei's still very evil, you see, no one can explain why but trust us, it's definitely not inexplicable bias on Narita's part. Oh yeah, and Tosen's Zanpakuto, Suzumushi, was actually his dead friend's all along, which means he's been using part of another dead person's soul for his entire manga appearance. Wrap your head around that one, people with a basic understanding of the premise!
-Those two Bankai you really, really wanted to see - those of Shinji and Hisagi - end up being supreme letdowns, like everything else Narita has written in his life outside of Baccano! Shinji's Bankai may as well be a weaker version of Kyoka Suigetsu, and Hisagi's completely retcons the nature of Kazeshini, but you know, whatever, right? A stupid answer is apparently better than none at all!
All this and more in the latest and hopefully last Narita-flips-off-rationality-and-restraint extravaganza! Buy it now - or don't, because either way God is dead and shitty writing has killed him!