Franchise GET KILLED ALREADY!
I just watched a marathon of stupid people doing stupid things. I've never watched the movies before, never planned too. But Dinosaurs are cool and I was told they were good.
"Let's wear a shirt covered in Baby T-Rex blood! Because I'm an expert on Dinos and should know what to do!"
And the people that start screaming when they see the T-Rex in their camp, if it didn't already kill you when you were quiet, what makes you think that it's just going to sit there and listen to you scream like prey?
Seriously, didn't they make everyone site down and watch a 'what to do to not get eaten'? Like in Alien V Predator? Was it really "Dino's on the island, here’s a gun, try not and get killed."
Highlights: Random Mook: OMG A SNAKE! *walks into the jaws into a T-Rex.*
Mrs Kirby: *In a microphone. With Dinosaurs in the surrounding area * BEN? BEN?? BEN! -*Later* Mrs Kirby: ERIC? Mr.Kirby:(getting wise when his wife obviously hasn't) Honey, be quiet. And something else equally stupid my brain has purged to remain sane.
The movies would have been awesome if it didn't involve invoking the retardedness inside ever character, really, EVERY. SINGLE. GODDAMNED. PROBLEM was because some idiot didn't listen to someone else, ran off, OR SCREAMED LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL. I was begging for the dinos to eat Amanda Kirby ten minutes in the movie. I know her son's missing but death wish aside...
This may seem like a complaint about a ten year movie plot. But ten years ago people weren't that stupid, were they?
Franchise Preachy, but awesomeness makes it worth it
I grew up with these movies. JP was the forbidden fruit in the VCR cabinet when I was little, and it was my older cousin's old merchandise that got me interested in dinosaurs. So let me the first fan to admit this: these movies are preachy as hell. This is not Jeff Goldblum's most likeable role. But it is worth it. Why? Alan Grant is one of the best and most memorable examples of an Action Survivor I've seen. And the visuals, even after 18 years, are stunning and memorable. The dinosaurs are delightful, and awesome to watch in action. This, in my opinion, makes it worthe Michael Chrictons endless 'technology will destroy us all' rants.
Franchise Most overated piece of trash I've ever seen
As a kid, I loved JP and it's sequels, but looking back I realised how utterly dull it is.
The characters are clichéd archetypes, aside from Hammond (who is a brilliant spin on the mad "scientist", being instead a high visionary rich man; note that this only applies to the movie, however). The plot is a generic and highly predictable narrative laced with disgusting anti-progress and "pseudo-naturalistic" (as in, "appeal to tradition" and "appeal to nature" fallacy ridden rhetorics, ignoring what Naturalism actually is) propaganda.
Oh, and have I mentioned those dinosaurs look like shit? The effects are cool, but the designs are horrendous. The "raptors" are mutant zombie monitors that are an utter eyeblight, the Tyrannosaurus looks like it has a box for a skull, and the more aesthetically appealing species like the Brachiosaurus and the Gallimimus are stolen screeen time for those ambulatory shites, and even then their skin looks like blank, no traits beyond colour. Is this really what we're battling for? Do you honestly preffered these utter sores to the sight to bird-like feathered dinosaurs?
The second movie is the same, except propaganda takes the front seat and the characters are twicefold stupid, and we lack what little charm the original movie had, as not only the propaganda is constantly on your face, but it overall has a depressing and mean spirited feel to it, like the characters are black holes instead of just card boards. The books are the same, except Hammond is a stereotypical Uncle Scrooge and the "morals" are shoven to your face every two lines, leaving no enjoyment for the reader. The only good thing are the Cearadactylus, because they come close to killing off the protagonists.
Finally, we have the third movie. Ironically, it's the best. Yes, it's still stupid beyond belief, but at least it dares to focus more on it's bottomless train wreck of a plot than the "messages".
-10000000/10