Fanfic Definitely Worth Reading
The previous seems to be missing a few screws. They argued that "The Hill of Swords" had:
1. No character development.
-I'm confused. Where did this come from? Shirou specifically notes (multiple times) how Louise has developed because of his influence, and Louise pushed Shirou to realize that he has changed, during the third arc. And in the author's notes, GB says that "The Hill of Swords" is supposed to be about Person vs. Self, not Person vs. Person.
2. Changed all characters.
-Most Familiar of Zero characters start out virtually identical to canon, but they start to change once they interact with Shirou. Saito's the only 'character you knew and loved' who's missing.
3. Too much detail.
-If a crossover involving Nasuverse isn't full of detail, then it's either crack or poorly written ("Miracle" is the only exception I've seen to this rule). A writer shouldn't rely on a reader's imagination when they have a specific idea in mind. I can't count the number of times I've given a general description in D&D, only to have the players reach completely different conclusions about whatever I described.
4. a poorly written ending.
-This is a legitimate problem with the story. Ending after a massive timeskip is not a good idea.
"The Hill of Swords" tends to divide its readers into haters and fanatics. If you're just looking for "Familiar of Zero" characters engaging in familiar harem antics, this fanfiction probably isn't for you. Otherwise, it's a great read.
Fanfic Just a copy of the original story
When I first saw this story, I was surprised by the number of reviews and I raised a high expectation. But dont be fooled by the overdramatic community, this stuff was just the original story where the author changed Saito into a Gary Stu
Trust me, if you enjoyed the original series, then you wouldnt like this.
1. It showed no decent character development, its just an overly perfect Emiya Shirou being surrounded by girls whom he has no interest with
2. All the characters that you know and loved was practically off.
3. It is so full of detail its aready a giant eyesore. Its like the author does not trust the readers imagination and decided to talk about every single unnecessary detail
4. The ending was axed. The ending was an embarrassing excuse to say that he cannot continue the story without anything else to copy.
Dont be intrique, this review is meant to kept you away from wasting your life. You had been warned.
Fanfic Terrible, Terrible Ending.
Other users have already mentioned this fanfic's failings, so I'll focus solely on the ending.
It sucks.
Sheffield, built up as some kind of unstoppable badass, is killed when Shirou pulls a "your shoe is untied." He beats her to death with his bare hands, a scene described in so much detail that I kinda suspect the author gets off on this kind of thing. It's so pointlessly violent and out of place from the rest of the series that, upon reading it, I had to sit back and wonder if the author was joking.
Look, anticlimax can be used in very effective ways, as long as it fits the tone of the story. Hill of Swords fails in that regard: Sheffield's death is the result of random, out-of-character stupidity on her part. When the reader's instinctive reactive to a non-comedic scene is a loud sigh and an eyeroll, the author has failed. And the author of Hill of Swords fails hard. If the author wanted an anticlimactic final battle, they should have written something better than "your shoe is untied." There's absolutely no effort involved in this... actually, no, there is effort, and it's all poured into a graphic description of a woman's head being bashed in. Because that's what the reader wants to see! Not a well-written finale, no: the reader really wants to see a woman have her head bashed in after being tricked by a brooding sociopath.
I didn't like Shirou anyway, since he's just a stereotypical brooding Mary Sue anti-hero. I just wanted to watch the story unfold, and while I knew I would be disappointed pretty soon into the story, I stuck around for the ending because I'm apparently a masochist. I kinda wish I hadn't stuck around. The ending is an insult to the reader, and the author acts like the final battle is the coolest thing they've ever written.
It's really, really not.
I was completely disappointed in Hill of Swords after all the hype it's received, and I would only recommend it to people who enjoy bad fanfiction... especially people who enjoy terrible, half-hearted endings.