This fic was a huge disappointment.
The plot was extremely flimsy and weak. Supposedly, it's a divergence AU in which things go differently because Frieza didn't blast Goku. The problem is that nothing that turns out differently stems from this event. Namek still explodes, Cold still finds Frieza and roboticizes him. It diverges once Cooler takes Frieza’s place on Earth, but the problem is that this isn’t caused by him not shooting Goku. It just happens.
Frieza’s Heel Face Turn was poorly written, his nature excused entirely by a cheap Freudian Excuse. He suddenly felt remorseful and cried about what he did. Having his planet blown up and a nice mommy wouldn’t make him care. The author fails to understand how ruling by fear and sociopathy work, painting Frieza as an unintelligent puppy-kicker who is being saved from a weak straw viewpoint.
The writing itself is awful. The grammar, formatting, and spelling were terrible, misspellings and abysmal sentence structures littered abundantly throughout the fic.
The characterization is terrible. Frieza is incredibly OOC, the author completely re-imagining him to suit the story’s needs. Queen Cold was a Purity Sue; she’s only there to excuse Frieza’s evil nature. King Cold is way more evil than in canon. Inyon is intrusive and ruins the general tone of the fic, her dialog being out of place and unappealing. The pairings made no sense and had little believability; Yamcha/Inyon and Polarri/Midgyo randomly hook up after some minor flirting. As do Frieza and Zangya, for some reason.
There was blatant Author Appeal. Sometimes it’s acceptable, but here it was unappealing and disruptive, mainly with the author’s hatred of the Buu saga. Instead of just rewriting it with Majin Frieza or something, he decides to make a GT knockoff villain blow up Badibi’s ship – a cheap Take That. Cell’s line namedropping Honor Trip was beyond blatant and completely unnecessary. Humans are suddenly relevant and learned the kaioken just because.
The author also had a nasty habit of spoiling parts of the story in the Author’s Notes; even the poorest of writers know that that’s a big no-no.
See, I’m a Frieza fan, and there aren’t many good Frieza-centric fics out there. Hearing positive reviews of this fic, I was excited. Unfortunately, I was let down by a poor Freudian Excuse, poor writing and grammar, and subpar characterization.
Fanfic Disappointing
This fic was a huge disappointment. The plot was extremely flimsy and weak. Supposedly, it's a divergence AU in which things go differently because Frieza didn't blast Goku. The problem is that nothing that turns out differently stems from this event. Namek still explodes, Cold still finds Frieza and roboticizes him. It diverges once Cooler takes Frieza’s place on Earth, but the problem is that this isn’t caused by him not shooting Goku. It just happens. Frieza’s Heel Face Turn was poorly written, his nature excused entirely by a cheap Freudian Excuse. He suddenly felt remorseful and cried about what he did. Having his planet blown up and a nice mommy wouldn’t make him care. The author fails to understand how ruling by fear and sociopathy work, painting Frieza as an unintelligent puppy-kicker who is being saved from a weak straw viewpoint. The writing itself is awful. The grammar, formatting, and spelling were terrible, misspellings and abysmal sentence structures littered abundantly throughout the fic.
The characterization is terrible. Frieza is incredibly OOC, the author completely re-imagining him to suit the story’s needs. Queen Cold was a Purity Sue; she’s only there to excuse Frieza’s evil nature. King Cold is way more evil than in canon. Inyon is intrusive and ruins the general tone of the fic, her dialog being out of place and unappealing. The pairings made no sense and had little believability; Yamcha/Inyon and Polarri/Midgyo randomly hook up after some minor flirting. As do Frieza and Zangya, for some reason. There was blatant Author Appeal. Sometimes it’s acceptable, but here it was unappealing and disruptive, mainly with the author’s hatred of the Buu saga. Instead of just rewriting it with Majin Frieza or something, he decides to make a GT knockoff villain blow up Badibi’s ship – a cheap Take That. Cell’s line namedropping Honor Trip was beyond blatant and completely unnecessary. Humans are suddenly relevant and learned the kaioken just because. The author also had a nasty habit of spoiling parts of the story in the Author’s Notes; even the poorest of writers know that that’s a big no-no. See, I’m a Frieza fan, and there aren’t many good Frieza-centric fics out there. Hearing positive reviews of this fic, I was excited. Unfortunately, I was let down by a poor Freudian Excuse, poor writing and grammar, and subpar characterization.