The Really Bad Ideas Topic

In which I will catalog really bad ideas which I must not act on under any circumstances oh who am I kidding I know I'm going to use them eventually.

• Having the players fight Nus.

The comics equivalent of PTSD.

Having the house mimic pose as a gazebo.

Putting a Deck of Many Things on the same continent as Heward's Handy Haversack. This is one bad thing if you rule that the sack allows them to choose which cards they're drawing. This is an even worse thing if you don't rule that, but don't tell them such until they've started drawing.

Giving an item that grants Limited Wish once per day to the player least likely to use it intelligently.

Almost anything involving a rust monster and a +4 weapon.

Allowing the Munchkin to make gunpowder, but rolling against his intelligence to determine whether it explodes in his face.

Allowing every broken build, but pitting the party against even more broken ones.

Having the rescued maiden attempt to kiss the Genre Savvy player, and penalizing him if he kills her under the suspicion she's a succubus in disguise.

Having the Stupid Evil player get bit by a werebear, and forcing him to roleplay the character.

Courtesy of DM Of The Rings, letting the horny player seduce the rescued maiden, then having him make a save versus disease.

Giving the party fire arrows in a dense forest, and rolling to see where all those missed shots wind up.

Courtesy of Adventurers, having the red dragon paint itself white to take advantage of Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Letting the party kill whoever gets in their way, then having greater and greater numbers of guards and soldiers mobilize to take them down.

As an inversion of the usual Lawful Good succubus, have the party get betrayed by a Neutral Evil angel.

I'll post more if I think of more.

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

• Allowing a character with a build based on mounted combat to take up a position of authority in a rural area, then having someone cast an illusion on a windmill to make it look like a giant.

edited 24th Jul '10 12:18:12 PM by Ezekiel

The comics equivalent of PTSD.

An entire party of GMPCs twice the level of the PCs.

Opponents that stunlock.

A thinly-veiled version of Sephiroth as a boss fight.

A dungeon based on my own house.

Opening a fast-food chain in a fantasy setting.

Opening a fast-food chain in a Western setting.

Opening a fast-food chain in a Bronze Age campaign.

Challenging my heavily-armed CIA opponent to a joust.

edited 24th Jul '10 12:43:19 PM by Magus

That sounds like something I'd do. Although that certainly doesn't make it a good idea.

Force characters with low intelligence to make Int rolls in order to remember to breathe.

In order to have a realistic ecology, create random encounter tables that run the gamut of encounter levels, then refuse to fudge rolls when the party encounters something that hopelessly outclasses them.

Regularly create mook monsters, such as goblins and kobolds, that have class levels into the epic levels, but that are indistinguishable from ordinary mooks until combat is entered.

Whenever a PC dies, have them brought back by a deity or other higher power because "Their task is not complete." Do this in a campaign that is otherwise ridiculously hard and in which PC death is a frequent occurence.

Allow characters from different editions of the same system to coexist, without attempting to convert their stats.

In an effort to avert You All Meet in an Inn, have each of the player characters start on a different continent.

I think I know what you're all trying to say: we need to build a space helicopter!

Allowing a Deadlands posse that has a Harrowed cannibal, a Blessed Preacher, and a Ravenite.

I want to see a D&D-statted build for a Nu.

Blowing up character's banged-up old Camaro.

"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis

Mekton giant robot with really thick, hard to ablate rad-absorbing armour and a little remote with a pathetically weak rapid-fire laser cannon to fill up the energy pools in seconds.

A few more:

Play D&D with Jack Chick rules in effect: traps will kill you with no saving throw, and any player whose character dies is shunned and excommunicated from the group.

Play FATAL.

If a critical hit is scored again on a critical confirmation, the target is decapitated or otherwise slain with one blow.

If a fumble is rolled again on a fumble confirmation, the attacker decapitates himself.

Withhold critical information when describing what the characters see (such as the 10-foot-wide bottomless pit directly in front of them), then answer "You didn't ask if it was there!" when called out on this.

The Dungeon Master's NPC party member is not only a God-Mode Sue, he's also a traitor secretly in league with the Villain Sue Big Bad.

Have an NPC Exposition Fairy travel with the party, and make this character the ONLY source of information about the campaign setting. Speak in a squeaky high-pitched voice whenever roleplaying this character.

When running a Star Wars RPG with a bunch of hardcore Star Wars fans, constantly refer to hyperspeed as "warp speed," the Republic/Rebellion as "Starfleet," the Empire as "The Romulan Star Empire," blasters as "phasers," Wookiees as "Klingons, "and lightsabers as "bat'leths."

edited 25th Jul '10 12:38:45 AM by Chaostryke

I think I know what you're all trying to say: we need to build a space helicopter!

My lightsabers are called beam sabres or the AtmaWeapon.

Let the Monk PC into a Wrestling Match.

Style your pantheon after internet memes. I did this, no joke

Multiclass Barbarian/Priest of Illmater, the Martyr God.

[[tvtropes.org/pmwiki/lb_i.php?lb_id=12919183980B30760200 Liveblog of]] John Carter Of Mars

What about allowing your players to gain access to the pantheon?

In Deadlands, what matters isn't so much what saints did as what the masses believe they did. Fighting one particular demon, the last person standing had a very good reason not to want attention, so as the only witness they spun a tale of the heroism of the person who couldn't be stabilised.

Oh and for other reasons we kept his boots, instant relic.

Must be brought up.

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

Create a Dead Pool expy who not only knows he's an expy but also breaks the forth wall in front of the players and make them, Roll to fix it!

Here for Friendship and to find it's Nakama/Pack/Tribe :)

Allow the players to find every NPC's secret porn stash.

The comics equivalent of PTSD.

Release a new set that's a sequel to a set almost universally reviled for its brokenness.

Releasing two core sets less exactly one year apart

Explaining FACO to anyone (period)

edited 28th Jul '10 1:28:02 AM by Oneesamaurai

Here for Friendship and to find it's Nakama/Pack/Tribe :)

@Canon: For what it's worth, I don't think they'll be going within thirty miles of affinity unless GLEEMAX gets involved.

Affinity is a confirmed key word.

Here for Friendship and to find it's Nakama/Pack/Tribe :)

Have the NPC Exposition Fairy be Navi

Ezekiel: "Check his flower pot. Check his flower pot for gay porn."

edited 28th Jul '10 11:03:34 AM by EgregiousEric

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That's exactly what I had in mind. *Evil grin* I will have to pull this one in the next game I start. . .

*Snaps out of it* No. No I won't, because I actually want to keep my players, and, unlike Ocarina Of Time, I doubt my games are brilliant enough to stay good in spite of Navi.

I think I know what you're all trying to say: we need to build a space helicopter!