Let's play: The You Testament! With interactivity!

Because I don't value my sanity, I decided to make a let's play of this game.

And I use the term game REAL FUCKING LOOSELY. It's an abomination, that's what it is.

What is this thing? Logo◊ The You Testament is a game made by a man named Mdickie. Mdickie is, as you might expect, a dick. A dickbag if you will.

He is an egomaniac who considers himself the second coming of Jesus, and ironically enough, made a game about Jesus.

I will be mostly in character for the let's play, so if I have to make comments about its gameplay(or lack of thereof) I will use parenthesis and italics.

I am not going to delay this any longer. Let's dive in, and bear the cross of this abomination.

The beginning.

First, the game starts out like this:

Intro Screen◊

You have to choose your "incarnation." That is because your character, who you can customize, will follow your own personal Jesus wherever he goes.

I should probably explain this now. Each time you start out a new game, the game randomly generates a Jesus for you. The reasoning behind this is that Mdickie thinks that with all the controversy over how Jesus looked like, it's better to make characters different every time you play the game, which adds replay value on top of avoiding a controversy.

This would be a good idea, were the characters designed well. But they are not. Meet our Jesus for this playthrough:

Jesus◊

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves, let's make our character for this playthrough shall we?

Character Creation A◊

As you can see, our character, Batman, is only five years old. As you may guess, the age you input has no influence in the game whatsoever, except for maybe for drinking, but I only say maybe because there is no way in hell I'm going to check that.

Holy...◊

This extremely high quality game allows for our character to be taller than the screen itself, making our giant approximately 1/10th of the size of Mdickie's ego.

Meet our hero.◊

Now with our Super Saiyan Batman ready to rock, it's time to start out this amazing adventure.

Adventure Time!◊

((Here is where I start to be in character))

I walked around the city for a while. I had been traveling the world, hoping to become a super saiyan 3 in order to avenge my parents who were named Krillin and Picollo, and my sidekick Robin had ran away from me recently, leaving me depressed.

Was I looking for salvation? Or was I looking for just one more opponent?

After talking with people a while, I found a fake prophet whom I instantly believed to be the messiah. But fortunately the fake messiah ran out of ideas to pretend to be God very quickly, and I found Jesus.

No really, I literally found Jesus. He was chillin' under a tree, and I came to talk to him. Then I began to be a douche, as it is part of the Saiyan's culture to be douches to Gods.

Hey Jesus!◊ Hey Batman.◊

I wondered where his antennas were. Most Gods I had met in the past were blue and had antennas, most of them also had very fun animals. Hey Jesus where is your magical monkey? DEAR GOD THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT JESUS STOP.

After I found Jesus again, he was at the desert. Alone. TRAINING. I couldn't control my excitement! Jesus must be a really strong fighter! Jesus, I will show you the power of a SUPER SAIYAN! How would the power of a Super Saiyan measure up to a God? I just had to find out. So I challenged Jesus to a fight.

''((I have to note here, you can beat up pretty much anyone who is not a soldier, specially in the desert where there are usually only one or two characters. But if you beat up the wrong people, you get arrested, and that's a game over. Game overs are even worse in this game than in most games, but I will explain why game overs are so bad later))""

KAMEHAME...◊ HAAAAAA◊

Jesus and I fought a lot. He never struck back. Odd guy. After our fight, he was very hurt, but still smiling. Gods are really proud warriors! I was thankful that he agreed to this little spar. It's great.

Me and him? We have a spiritual connection. Kindred spirits buddy. We didn't even need to exchange words to know that the other wanted a fight. I just looked at him, and he looked back at me. Then I shouted "HAAAAAAA" and he responded by lifting his arms high up in the air, clearly preparing a Genki Dama, and shouting "AHHHHH."

You could tell he was a proud fighter by how happy he looked once the fight was over.

Clearly proud◊ and not scared for life◊

After that, I decided to walk around the city and look for a place to FIGHT. Hours of searching later, I found the local martial arts tournament just in time to join!

The tournament's entrance!◊ The entrance to the tournament! The only question was, had the other fighters arrived already, or would I be the first one to arrive at the secret martial arts tournament?

Comrades!◊ I wasn't the only one there! Great! It was time to fight to the death, in the legendary underwater ring!

Round 1: Fight!◊ My opponent was strong. I could feel myself dying. But I couldn't let him win. No. NO! I AM GOKU. THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN. I CAN NOT LET EVIL WIN. TAKE THIS, MY LAST PUNCH!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!

DRAGON PUNCH!◊

Both me and my opponent fell to the ground at the same time. A double KO? What a fitting end...Jesus, I am sorry I will not be able to attend your next lecture...Please, Jesus...My last wish is for you to...

...Get the 7 dragonballs and bring me back to life! It will be worth it! I will totally follow your teachings if you do that! Please, I want you to train me! You are an amazing fighter! Jesus, you are stronger than Buu! C'mon!

JESUS!

''((Now I will be explaining why a game over is so bad. First of all, you only have one life. If you die, it's game over. That wouldn't be so bad, but once you die, the game deletes your FUCKING SAVE FILE. It's almost impossible to bear. Moreover, if you fall in the well, it's game over. Your character can't jump out of it. You are destined to be stuck there. And since the game's autosave function is a mystery, if you quit the game, you will restart from the place you are stuck at. It's a mess. The only way to actually save effectively in the game is by copying the save folder, and hiding the backup somewhere where the game can't touch it. It's awful.

Now, we get to the fun part. As you can see, Batman, the Super Saiyan, died. Now you guys can decide what character I make next. It can be anything.

edited 27th Sep '10 11:41:12 AM by SherlockPoirot

I say Samuel L. Jackson should be the next disciple.

I haven't known true fear in a very, very long time.

Your own personal Jesus, you say? I could get behind that.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

The Juggernaut, bitch!

edited 27th Sep '10 11:17:53 AM by Charlatan

Make a gimp and call him MDickie.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Current votals:

1 vote: Samuel Jackson 1 vote: Gimp named M Dickie 1 vote: Juggernaut(bitch)

I'm editing the first post now by uploading pictures to the tvtropes website as well, to make it simpler for people to see it.

Small question: Is there a way to make a line have nothing but a picture? Every time I try to post a picture it shows up in the left of the screen(so the text goes beside it).

I would like to have it under/above the text so I can match the comments with it. Is there a way to do it?

Not really, no.

And I have to mention that when you exit the game, it closes itself out by creating a stack overflow.

the future we had hoped for

Ahhh the coding...It's so...Yeah. I'm using it to edit the game a bit though. It's the only way I am able to remain sane.

There's always the "delete" or "uninstall" option...

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

A true let's player never gives up. Ever. ...Not while his suffering is entertaining!

edited 27th Sep '10 2:27:29 PM by SherlockPoirot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qklTiKiI5A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbC261snpQ8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZTGJyhm1vM

Those 3 youtube videos contain all the gameplay I used to take the screenshots.

Wait a minute... Mdickie? That name sounds familiar.

Hold it, this is that guy who makes all his games using the same wrestling-game engine, isn't it?

I haven't known true fear in a very, very long time.

Probably.

the future we had hoped for

That's the same person. In fact, this game has been built using said wrestling engine.

So do all his games exit themselves by crashing?

the future we had hoped for

I wouldn't rule it out.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

I'm tempted to say Jack Chick, but what with the above conversation and the chance of a long stalemate, I'm instead seconding M Dickie.

Alright, I will be playing as M Dickie tonight.

Oh God, you gave me enough Bile Fascination to convince me to want to play this game!

Oh my god Poirot you are a genius. I could not. Stop. Laughing.

Thank you. I'm trying to play this again to get the second part up but...but...it hurts my brain.

I will do it nonetheless though.