The "Serious Business" Critque Thread- Art

The first thing that struck me about the umbrella pic is the colors. Green and gray (blue?) combine interestingly here, sharp and dark at the same time. The pose is cool and I like how the hip anchors it. The right leg attaches a bit weirdly, though I'm not sure whether it's just my sense of anatomy failing me. The splash on the shoe is a terrific touch.

It Just Bugs Me

^ Thank you. :) And...I probably did something wrong with the, leg I think I see it. I'm kind of wonky with anatomy.

^^ Just to clarify, I'm not the creator of that tutorial. This is the one you're looking for, the maker of The Meek. :)

edited 27th Oct '10 11:58:00 AM by Latia

So I got my tablet last night and started messing around. Specifically, does anyone know how to only work on one layer? Like, I'd open a new layer, and everything I drew would be in that layer, but then I couldn't seem to get back to older layers. Hense the sketchiness of the picture, but I think in this case it works styalistically.

@Dae Brayk: If you were working on only one layer there shouldn't be any older layers to go back to. If you had several layers open, did you accidentally lock the ones you can't get to? Or maybe you hadn't clicked on the layer you wanted to work on so you ended up drawing on a different layer. I think I could help you with this, I'm just not sure what exactly you mean.

There's no 'I' in 'threesome'.

@Mr AHR

The sketch itself looks REALLY good. Considering there's no underwork and it's just pen. Just when I compare it to the original a few issues arise.

The head is WAY off. It looks fine by itself, but looks like a totally different person from the original. The eyes are way to high up.

Also, the cord thing is really odd in the sketch. the original's is defined enough to tell what it is. Yours just looks like solid black lines.

But I'm really just nitpicking to give some feedback. Overall nice work.

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New pic, looking for feedback. http://insanelyzanter.deviantart.com/#/d31u50j

Also, any more comments on these are appreciated. Link1 Link2 link3

edited 30th Oct '10 5:28:24 PM by Zanter

Behold, art. http://insanelyzanter.deviantart.com/

Not sure that other link works properly, so here. My very fist tablet drawing. Be back in a moment with comments for Zant?r.

Kay, Zanter. Brace yourself for some serious business.

The combination of the pose and the angle makes the picture visually unnappealing and akward to look at. It just doesn't read very well. Also, it looks like you drew clothes first, leaving you with ankles bending at akward angles but hidden by thick, unrealistic-looking pants-cuffs. His feet are disproportionate—I feel like you're doing that on purpose, but it just doesn't work very well. Now blurring into the other drawings you linked to, your characters seem to have been designed around the idea of "being awesome", but you've thrown every cool-looking thing you could at them and left yourself with four incomprehensible, near-indistinguishable characters. Thing you might want to read.

Another problem is the emotion of the characters. They're standing around mugging for photos. Why not try drawing something other than "LOOK AT ME I'M AWESOME". Draw them sleeping, or crying, or just waiting for a bus. Draw them at the end of the day, when they take off all their "awesome" accessories, and try to figure out who they are underneath.

That's more than I was able to do when I first got a pen tablet, and I think you could go on to do a whole lot more with it. While this drawing is pretty rudimentary, it shows that you have a good grasp of how color and light interact—you know where all of the different shades go. However, you do need to refine the shapes, details and textures. Let your knowledge of light guide you, though, and the results will be very nice.

I suggest spending a lot of time on your next piece, or taking that time to refine this one (as it doesn't have to be finished—honestly, to me, it looks like a work in progress if you're still interested in it. Zoom in to small parts of the image until you can see the shape of a pixel, and do the textures of the fabric on the dress, the wood of the bridge, and so forth from that level—it'll take forever, but the results will be great.

As for working on the shapes and smaller details, it might seem tough while you're still getting used to using the tablet, but if you look closer at things like a human face or the way clothing drapes over a limb, the shapes are rather basic. Again, work very close up to the image for more precision. You have the framework here of the details—as I said, you know what everything is supposed to do, and that's a good start to carrying it out in a more detailed manner.

And, can someone tell me how to do this◊ better? Thanks. If it looks like it's been crushed in a sketchbook for a week, that's because it has.

edited 30th Oct '10 10:03:21 PM by SPACETRAVEL

whoever wrote this shit needs to step on a rake in a comedic fashion

Whatever that is supposed to be, it looks quite good. The only real thing I can say is that the value looks kinda choppy. I can't tell what medium you're using. But if it's charcoal/pencil, I'd blend the shine of the pillar and his cheek shadow a bit. If it's markers or such, I don't have much to say.

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Ina effort to follow Dae Brayk's advice, started sketching with a bit more emotion and variation then before. Not to much yet, but thanks for the advice.

Some stupid sketches. Little less pose-ish but still meh.

http://insanelyzanter.deviantart.com/#/d320056

This I'm more proud of. Real plain pose, but I pulled some new tricks in Photoshop and I like the result. Streamlined his design a bit. Changed his necklace charm from the crystal thing to two small locks. Both to tie into his name (Adrian Lockwood) a bit and let me use it for a few character quirks.

http://insanelyzanter.deviantart.com/#/d321tzp

edited 2nd Nov '10 11:42:01 PM by Zanter

Behold, art. http://insanelyzanter.deviantart.com/

Does the sword here◊ look natural enough or is it obviously shopped? Also I feel as if something is wrong with creases in this pic but i'm not exactly sure what it is.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.

^I can tell it has been shopped, but that alone isn't too distracting. However, the hand looks more like it's passing through the hilt than grasping it, and the blurriness of hilt in front of the chest looks odd, especially given that the hand is in focus.

It took me a long time to figure out the shape of the shield. The handle indicates that the face of the shield is behind him, but the hand indicates that it is facing his left. If you haven't already, try drawing out the shield as a simple shape first, then wrap that form in some grid lines to get a clear idea of where it rests in space.

Also, drop a couple shadows! :)

^^^ You are getting better with more dynamic posing/expression. Th bent limbs in the first one look a little...stiff, I guess? Just keep practicing, and posing will become more fluid naturally.

Here, have an Emmy.

@Zanter: Naw, I agree with you completely. It's hard to fix that sort of thing when you're using pen though. The head is something that was kind of broken from the start. Need to work on that.

Read my stories!

Zanter, you have interesting ideas with colors. The posing could be loosened up but I guess that'll come with practice. I like some of the stuff you're experimenting with in the second pic; the dropping-the-cigarette is funny!

Latia, I love her angular shoulders. I think you could still play around with her mouth and jaw to have them contribute more to her expression. The outline of the top of her head is a bit....I dunno, if it were me I'd have her hair obscure it. The body language, colors, eyes, sparseness, everything works well together in your picture.

Anyone wanna critique this? Pencil drawing, no references, took me a few hours.

It Just Bugs Me

That's quite good for something done without a reference. Anatomy errors:

• The shoulder area is the most glaring. Even it out a bit. Her arms are too thin, and taper too quickly. The musculature is important.
• Facial shape is roughly accurate. The nose curve on the left should be straighter, and the shadows more pronounced around the eyes. Darken the line between the lips, rather than around them.
• The torso, particular from when the pants begin, should be lengthened slightly.
• The hands need to be larger. Try to erase some of the stiffness.

A greater use of shading, particularly at the extreme ends of the tonal scale would make it much better. Use it to indicate bends in the cloth, the curvature of the face, etc. I know I keep repeating this, but everyone should learn it.

I intend to colour in this fairy wren◊, but could anyone comment on the initial sketch?

"Doctor Who means never having to say you're kidding." - Bocaj

CUTE!

Feet shape. Three toes in front, one in back, or two and two? Can't tell.

Tail looks odd. Maybe just the asymmetry.

More shading would be nice!

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable

^^ That looks really good. The linework is great, though you could go darker at spots. How do you intend to color it?

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I just made myself a wallpaper of my to-be-started comic's cast. There's a crapload of main characters so it's a bit cramped.

http://insanelyzanter.deviantart.com/#/d335ze4

Behold, art. http://insanelyzanter.deviantart.com/

http://daebrayk.deviantart.com/#/d346ah4

Critique a three-page comic, anyone? Next two pages are also on deviantart. Took me...prolly eight hours over the course of two days. Anyone know how long art usually takes? Cause I'm pretty sure I'm rushing the shit out of this stuff, and i don't know why but I can't slow down =/

anyway, Zanter you've got pretty much the same things in your wallpaper that I critiqued before, but i did like the cigarette sketch up there with people doing something other than "awesome," and the coloring in the one after that is really neat. More on the wallpaper, you might want to try...giving some sort of uniformity to the pictures, paying attention to how light would effect the people in the area so it looks more like 'people in an environment' and less like 'cardboard cutouts moving across a background.' There's an excellent tutorial for this by the artist of The Meek. Tryyy...some additional shading, Iguess? I'm honestly just trying to figure out why your characters hurt so much to look at. =/

edited 4th Dec '10 11:22:06 AM by DaeBrayk

To Dae Brayk

Bits I liked:

First page, the forest on the second panel from bottom. Despite not being a central focus, it still communicates a sort of dark closeness that contrasts nicely with the sky.

Second page, nice transition with everything sort of chopped up- it's innovative and looks good, as well as giving it an almost creepy feel.

Finally, a very good last 2 panels on page 3. Tahaliston's facial expression and posture communicates his mocking perfectly, and Balthentere looks very dejected at the end.

Criticism:

Balthentere looks a bit lopsided in the 2nd panel of the first page and 1st panel of 2nd page. The legs are a bit far apart and the neck seems to be a bit off model.

Text on bottom of 2nd page is a bit difficult to read. Spacing letters further apart may help.

4th panel, 2nd page: Fill in Tahaliston's mouth a bit. It looked odd compared to the rest of the page, and giving him teeth would exacerbate the menacing atmosphere he gives off.

A little sketch from me

A picture of a machine named Gant. It's a slightly rapid sketch that was just quickly touched up in Paint, so no major alteration from the sheet. If the proportion seems off to you, it's slightly intentional. Also, musculature lines and legs are horrendous.

edited 4th Dec '10 9:19:51 PM by Morgulion

This is this.

K, I'm going to assume that the general sketchiness-style is what you were going for (it being... well, a sketch =P) so all I have to say really is about the pose. The way the arms press against the torso gives me the impression that he's nervous or cold. The hands (the way the fingers are sort of...tense.) enforce the idea that he's extremely ill at ease, but fingers like that coupled with more naturally positioned arms would give it a wonderfully threatening undertone. To think of it another way...is he flexing his fingers to attack (relaxed, in control), or to defend (tense, scared)? That's what the difference in arm position would comunicate. The overall visual is really neat, though. A little bit nightmarish.

edited 4th Dec '10 10:25:21 PM by DaeBrayk

Dae Brayk: I... don't really have anything to add that Morgulion didn't already mention...

Morgulion: I actually like the position of the arms - it gives off an impression of Uncanny Valley, especially tied with the hand gesture. (I tried holding my arms in that position, and it was... painful.) I do think you could distinguish his upper arms more from his torso, though, and I can't actually tell if he's meant to have legs or not. -_o

I'd like thoughts on the art... You don't have to understand the geeky, geeky joke.◊

edited 7th Dec '10 6:12:53 PM by Noaqiyeum

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable

Aight...good things: The proportions (like, the students in relation to each other and the desks) look spectacular to me, as well as the perspective. (did you have a reference photo or something?)The expressions and reactions to the main guy are good, not overdone, and you get the weird sense that he's done this sort of thing a dozen times before. The faces are distinct enough to distinguish characters despite the simplicity of the style but...

Bad things: everyone is wearing the same shirt. The unpolished-ness of the style works well, but if you're going to scan in a pen drawing, you should probably either draw every part of the comic in pen or be very very careful about what you add digitally, because that speech bubble looks pretty terrible. It's all pixelated. Tha's about all I can think of so...

http://daebrayk.deviantart.com/art/NDC-Politics-1-188858308

edited 7th Dec '10 6:46:25 PM by DaeBrayk

No reference photo, though I did have class in that room for three years.

Same shirt? Nonsense! The girl on the left has short sleeves!  ^o_o

[cough] ...The speech bubbles look even worse when I do them in pen, most of the time, unfortunately. I'll have to see what I can do about that. (Thank you!)

The joke is a play off of this.

I think most of your issues are with proportion... The legs look off - too thin, I think, possibly a wrong angle as well - in the first panel, in the third the hand seems too big for the arm, and in the fourth the torso looks too tall. I really like the other panels, though, especially 2 and 6. Demonface looks nicely appropriately freaky.

edited 7th Dec '10 6:55:35 PM by Noaqiyeum

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable

I've already noticed at least 3 problems with this, but I'd appreicate what anyone has to offer. -putting togetehr a portfolio-

Her skirt wouldn't ride her ass and fly back in the wind at the same time. Her left shoulder seems nonexistent, watch the area where her neck meets her right shoulder too. Something seems unnatural about it but I'm not quite sure. Her hair is skin colored in one part. Also, she has no nose.

Other than that, very nice.

Whatchoo think?◊

edited 19th Dec '10 3:50:56 PM by Scrye

"True story, I came when I read Scrye's story, and so did everyone within five miles." —OOZE