Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

I used to think that William Shakespeare was Britney Spears' dad.

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly....

I used to think that there were "normal" songs, and genres were things which only some songs had. Like, rock which meant it was aggressive and had distorted guitars, pop which meant that it sucked but everyone listened to it, and folk which meant it was acoustic and traditional and sung in pubs. Examples of "normal" music included all nursery rhymes and lullabies, all hymns, most of the Beatles' output, and songs from musicals like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

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Something about the word "rapper" really used to scare me as a kid. Seeing as I didn't know the word "rape", I suppose I must have somehow linked "rapper" with "reaper" (as in, the grim kind) in the same way I associated the words "umpire" and "empire" with "vampire".

Also, I'm not sure if this fits so cleanly into the exact thread title, but I was a very sensitive, easily scared kid, to the point that if I saw the word "ghost" anywhere, even a metaphorical context ("He looked as white as a ghost" or whatever), I'd get scared.

Also, I figure this kind of takes the cake: When I had cancer at age 3,  ^*

I assumed that surgery and hospital stays and whatever were normal things that every kid went through in that year of their lives. Well, maybe I didn't actively think that, but it was more like since that was my experience, it never occurred to me that there was anything unusual about it. It's not like I had friends to talk to at that age or anything...

Flora Segunda | World Made By Hand | Monster Blood Tattoo ^You should read these series.

I thought if I wished hard enough, my dad would come back and say he was sorry for leaving me. I also thought that if I believed hard enough, everyone in my life who had ever been mean to me would apologize, and I would suddenly be happy.

Yay for being overly morbid!

edited 23rd Nov '10 8:12:02 AM by Counterclock

Santa. THAT FAT MAN OWES ME A PONY AND A G.I. JOE.

G'day

My mum told me that if I filled the toilet too full with toilet paper, it would explode. I believed this until I was eight. On the plus side, I never blocked the pipes by putting loads of paper in, (and I think that was her intention, but she could have just told me that it would get blocked, rather than scaring me.)

I also used to think that the money would go back into the ATM really quickly (because it beeps), so I always told people to hurry and get their money.

Me Too!.

I thought "money laundering" was putting low tender bills into laundry machines to blank them, so the paper could be used to print higher tender bills.

Also, I thought if you didn't get off the scalator and let your feet reach the area where the scalator meets static floor, your feet would go through and you'd be squished.

And that's how I ended up in the wardrobe. It Just Bugs Me!

I did too!

My Tumblr. Currently liveblogging Haruhi Suzumiya and revisiting Danganronpa V3.

I thought satire was the same as political humor.

Every time somebody writes fanfic, God kicks a puppy. Think of the puppies!

Chalk up another one for that.

I once sleepwalked and had a conversation with my mother (again, while asleep) about hatching rubber bands. When I finally snapped out of it and woke up, I actually thought for a while that this might be possible >.>

Can't remember any dumb things I used to believe, but here's a slight misconception on the part of my cousin who, when he was a lot younger, liked dinosaurs very much and once asked our grandfather: "Grandad, when you were a kid, were there still dinosaurs around?"

A different shape every step I take A different mind every step of the line

Did you feel uneasy on scalators even after figuring out you couldn't get squished there, like me?

And that's how I ended up in the wardrobe. It Just Bugs Me!

When I was a kid, I thought women got pregnant when they got to a certain age. Of course, elementary school had to tell me the ugly truth...

When life gives you lemons, fill the juices up into squirt guns and shoot them at people's eyes.

^ Yes. I totally thought that.

I thought this too. It made me glad I wasn't a girl because waking up pregnant one day was High Octane Nightmare Fuel.

no one will notice that I changed this

I used to believe that memory worked like this:

Your recent memories were placed on the outside of your brain. As they aged, they drifted inwards towards the center, until finally, they were crowded out by other memories and you forgot them. I kind of had a miental image of it like an onion of fixed size, so a new layer would make the very center disappear into forgetfulness.

I think I had this theory back when I was five or something.

Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.

I thought lesbians were people from the country of Lesbia.

I thought that gay still meant happy.

My MSTing liveblog

Actually, they're from the island of Lesbos.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.

Likewise, I too believed that if your feet touched the jagged teeth of the escalator steps, your feet would shred.

...I was a pretty fucked-up kid.

Oh, I think I did that too... I still usually jump over it.

edited 16th Nov '10 4:28:46 PM by Tzetze

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.

I was sort of a disturbed child.

I used to think that Marilyn Monroe wasn't real for some reason. I think I got her mixed up with Betty Boop.

edited 19th Nov '10 8:04:56 PM by blamspam

Posts 96, 97, and Santa.

I also used to believe the earth was dome-shaped.

It seemed pretty logical, we lived on the inside of the flat part, and the sky was the domey part.

When I later fond out it was round, I assumed I lived near the top and that everything on the bottom was upside-down.

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly....