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The makers of Ben 10 and Generator Rex sure can't handle romance right. It's just my opinion, but I think the fact that it's applied to both shows makes it worth noting.Gwvin is my least favorite ship of all time, and they're not even doing it well. Monkeys could do better. Cercie I like what I don't like her as the romantic interest. In fact, I see her as being behind seven other people.

I would like this posted to one of there just bugs me things. After its fixed

With the power of a dragon I can make up for my inability to spill.

Here's what you had:

The makers of Ben 10 and Generator Rex sure can't handle romance right. It's just my opinion, but I think the fact that it's applied to both shows makes it worth noting.Gwvin is my least favorite ship of all time, and they're not even doing it well. Monkeys could do better. Cercie I like what I don't like her as the romantic interest. In fact, I see her as being behind seven other people.

Here's what I changed it to:

The makers of Ben10 and Generator Rex sure can't handle romance very well. It's just my opinion, but I think the fact that it's applied to both shows makes it worth noting. Gwvin is my least favorite ship of all time, and they're not even doing it well. I like Circe. What I don't like is making her the romantic interest. In fact, there are about seven other people I'd rather see in that position.

Here's why I changed what I did:

"Right" and "wrong" is binary. Something is either one or the other. This makes it much more likely that it will be taken to be an objective statement of fact. And that leads to arguments. "Well" and "poorly" is a spectrum, and has more connotations of "This is my opinion."

Put a space following a period or other punctuation mark at the end of a sentence before the first letter of the next sentence. It's much easier to read.

I took out the sentence "Monkeys could do better." There's nothing wrong with the English, but it's unnecessarily inflammatory. It's an invitation to start a fight.

"Cercie I like" could have been fixed in one of two ways. I could have made it "Cercie, I like." with a comma after her name. But that's an inversion of the normal sentence structure (It's direct object-subject-verb, rather than subject-verb-direct object), and it's kind of awkward to read. So, I changed it to "I like Cercie." It's also a complete thought on its own, so I made it a sentence on its own.

"what I don't like her as the romantic interest." This part was missing a secondary verb, and I kind of had to guess what you intended. It was pretty clear, though that you don't like the fact that they've made her into the romantic interest. So that's the verb I added — "is making". That meant that I needed to take out the "as".

The last sentence is ok for casual spoken English, but "putting her behind about seven other people" is an English idiom — it doesn't quite mean what it sounds like it should mean, and idioms can be confusing to people who aren't native speakers. And we have a lot of non-native-English speakers reading the wiki. So I changed it to a less idiomatic form "There are about seven people I'd rather see...".

Do these explanations make sense?

edited 4th Mar '11 7:18:36 PM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

Also, it's Circe I believe. The mythological figure.

Fight smart, not fair.

Ok, thanks. I didn't know that, not watching either show. Corrected.

Anyone else care to add their input?

edited 4th Mar '11 7:18:55 PM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

Instead of "The makers of Ben 10 and Generator Rex sure can't handle romance very well.", you might consider: "The makers of Ben 10 and Generator Rex didn't handle the romance very well."

Can't implies an inability while didn't implies that the fact is what it is regardless of the reason. For example, "I can't open the door", implies you tried and are convinced it's impossible, while "I didn't open the door." could mean you couldn't, or you forgot, or you thought it was best not to. The more generic term makes it more of a neutral statement of opinion on the work rather than a criticism of those who contributed to it.

I also added "the" before romance to indicate specifically the romance element within the two shows specifically rather than romance in general.

Also, I must say, Random Chaos, you are getting better. I can now understand what you are trying to say much better than I could earlier. As someone wise said, "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step".

edited 5th Mar '11 11:22:42 AM by FrodoGoofballCoTV

don't not can't got it.

The makers of Ben10 and Generator Rex sure don't handle the romance very well. It's just my opinion, but I think the fact that it's applied to both shows makes it worth noting. Gwvin is my least favorite ship of all time, and they're not even doing it well. I like Circe. What I don't like is making her the romantic interest. In fact, there are about seven other people I'd rather see in that position.

For troper tails Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: This Troper thinks that there should be an epic battle with Darth Vader and Heihachi Mishma. However, he hasn't really written a fight scene before and doesn't feel them sell up to the challenge. Also, I have no idea how I should blince lightsaber versus bare fists.

edited 5th Mar '11 1:29:47 PM by RandomChaos

With the power of a dragon I can make up for my inability to spill.

For the first quote, I believe "and they're not even doing it well" can be taken out entirely. First, it's phrased awkwardly. Second, it's redundant since you already stated that you didn't like the ship.

"This Troper thinks that there should be an epic battle with Darth Vader and Heihachi Mishma. However, he hasn't really written a fight scene before and doesn't feel them sell up to the challenge. Also, I have no idea how I should blince lightsaber versus bare fists."

Alright.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean with this phrase. If you mean that you yourself don't feel you could do the fight scene justice, I'd say it like "He hasn't really written a fight scene before and doesn't feel he could do it justice." If you mean the characters are unbalanced, I'd say "He hasn't written a fight scene before. Furthermore, he believes the fight would be very one-sided." I separated the sentences there because they are two separate thoughts.

You change from referring to yourself in the third person ("This Troper, "he") to referring to yourself in the first person ("I"), I'd suggest you use first person in the entire entry.

I don't know what "blince" is supposed to mean. Can you define it?

Video Game Census. Please contribute.

"I'm not sure exactly what you mean with this phrase. If you mean that you yourself don't feel you could do the fight scene justice, I'd say it like "He hasn't really written a fight scene before and doesn't feel he could do it justice." If you mean the characters are unbalanced, I'd say "He hasn't written a fight scene before. Furthermore, he believes the fight would be very one-sided." I separated the sentences there because they are two separate thoughts."

I meant both, the second of witch is what I mean by balance.

What are Trooper Tales in third person?

edited 5th Mar '11 9:20:28 PM by RandomChaos

With the power of a dragon I can make up for my inability to spill.

When people say this trooper.

^ ...What exactly are you asking?

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

I think he's trying to answer the other guy, and is referring to This Troper. That said, I'm not sure what the question was to begin with.

Expergiscēre cras, medior quam hodie. (Awaken tomorrow, better than today.)

First person means that the speaker is talking about themself, using the pronouns "I", "Me", "My" and "Mine". You get constructions like "I said..." "...gave it to me", "my book is...", and "...was mine until..."

In Second person, the speaker is talking about the person he's talking to —it uses "You", "Your" and "Yours". "You said..." "Your book is..." ...was yours until..."

Third person is when the speaker is talking about a third person — neither themself nor the person they are talking to — or speaking about themself as thought they were talking about someone else. The pronouns used are "He", "She", "They" "Them", and "Their". This is when you get things like "He said..." "She went...", "They are..." "...was theirs until...". Or in third person, you can also use the name or a descriptor of the person you are talking about: "Sally was...", "The redhead was...".

Using "This Troper" is talking about yourself in the third person — as though you were talking about someone else, for instance if I were to write "This Troper really hates broccoli." when I was talking about myself. What I'm really saying is "I hate broccoli."

edited 7th Mar '11 4:30:22 PM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

Well I only use third person speak on this site and that's it.

Ha! Caught you! You just used first-person right there in that post!

Rhymes with "Protracted."

I think he was saying that this site is the only place he uses third person-speak. and we don't really encourage its use here, either, If you're posting on a Troper Tales Page or in a review or discussion, using "I" is fine. If you're writing on a main page, you should stick with second person or third person, depending on whether you're addressing the reader (second person; for example "He asks "what could possibly go wrong?" and well, you [talking to the reader directly] can guess what comes next." ) or talking about a character or "the audience" as a general group (same example worded differently, in third person: "He asks "What could possibly go wrong?" and the audience knows that they're ["the audience" as a group, rather than the individual reader] going to see it all go wrong in as many ways as possible."

edited 7th Mar '11 9:20:36 PM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

I'm a girl.

Sorry. I'll keep that in mind.

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

For Girl In A Box: in Walking the Line by Starving Lunatic Shego finds Kim in a Box and keepes her as a pet.

edited 8th Mar '11 12:22:11 PM by RandomChaos

With the power of a dragon I can make up for my inability to spill.

Comma after "Starving Lunatic"; no need to capitalize "box", "keeps" rather than "keepes". Other than those three things, it's good.

edited 8th Mar '11 12:23:38 PM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

LOL it is okay.

Something I want to post in Wrights Block

I would like to wright a Story were the Third Party Fighters with plausible auditions of Super Smash Bros save the Nintendo characters but I can't make up my mind for who is which member of the Five-Man Band. Maybe Mario leading the Third Party fighters

• The Hero - Sonic? Mario? Sora?
• The Lancer - Sonic? Snake?
• The Big Guy - Snake? Earth Worm Jim? Sora? Simon Beldmot?
• The Smart Guy - Mega Man
• The Chick - ?
• Team Pet - Blue Slime

Also I got most of the Bad guys but I can't make up my mind for The Brute. However I don't want Wario or Dedede.

edited 9th Mar '11 8:06:06 AM by RandomChaos

With the power of a dragon I can make up for my inability to spill.

I'm assuming you mean 'I'd like to post this in the "Writer's Block" forum.' Note that the spelling and grammar requirements for the forum are not the same as the wiki. I don't think you get banned for typos on the forum.

• "wright" should be spelled "write"
• "Story" does not need to be capitolized.
• "with plausible auditions of" is a grammatically correct phrase but I think you meant to say "with the possible addition of"
• "Maybe Mario leading the Third Party fighters" is just slightly off gramatically. Consider: "Perhaps Mario might lead the Third Party Fighters."

'Also, I've got most of the Bad guys but I can't make up my mind for The Brute. However, I don't want Wario or Dedede in that role.' Added 2 commas and 've to fix the grammar and "in that role" to clarify. Otherwise perfect.

edited 9th Mar '11 8:40:19 AM by FrodoGoofballCoTV

Well, no, he won't be banned from the forums for bad grammar, or spelling or punctuation, but the better his writing, the more clearly he'll communicate his ideas, and the better the response is likely to be.

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

Could somone beta this chapter of my story eh? http://werewolf-hero.deviantart.com/art/Little-Banshee-2-200425727 or am I stepping two far now?

edited 10th Mar '11 11:42:42 AM by RandomChaos

With the power of a dragon I can make up for my inability to spill.

You want the Writer's Block forum for that.

Reality is that, which when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. -Philip K. Dick