Youtube Comments Win.

As we all know, Youtube comments are typically a festering ocean of stupidity. But every now and then, a piece of genuine wit will surface.

This thread is a place of honour for those comments:

Look at your comment, now back to mine. Now back at your comment now back to mine. Sadly it isn't mine, but if you stopped trolling and started posting legitimate comments it could look like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? You're scrolling through comments, writing the comment your comment could look like. What did you post? Back at mine, it's a reply saying something you want to hear. Look again the reply is now diamonds. Anything is possible with legit comments. I'm on a chair.

wait, what?

Youtube Comments Win

At first I was like

but then I was like

[1]◊

From this video:

''I am posting a comment to this video.

This is a very important part of youtube.

The post button will post my comment, which is comprised of text and punctuation.

The cancel button will cancel my post, deleting all text and punctuation.

I will now press the post button as I wish to post the comment that I am currently typing in this box that is on youtube that is used to make comments of the text variety much like other people have done in the past.

I have now pressed the button.''

edited 11th Aug '10 7:50:28 AM by Glowsquid

Retsupurae is a goldmine all on its own.

There was this video of a guy holding this little Corgi puppy up in the air and blowing into his face. The puppy was would flail his legs like he's swimming... And in the sea of "that's animal abuse!!!oneone!!eleventy!!!" cries this one poster said:

"You bastard! I can't believe you tricked that corgi into believing he has yet achieved flight!"

it made my day.

From somewhere in Sir Ron Lionheart's Let's Play of Contra III:

Sir Ron, what brand of chainsaw do you use to brush your teeth?

On a video of the "keep your STUPID comments in your POCKET!" scene, someone wrote "I think Mark should have kept that stupid comment in his pocket" (emphasis mine).

For the trailer of The Human Centipede

If I had to be part of one, I'd like it to be Chuck Norris, then me, then Criss Angel. That way we could breathe fire and shit magic.

The cello seduces you into bed. The piano playfully bounds your wrists to the bed posts. Then the violin creeps in and pierces your heart with a long thin blade. What follows is a heart-stopping fall inside a bottomless pit of shock, horror and sublime beauty unsurpassed. It promises mercy, yet refuses to grant it. This is the tune Nero played whilst Rome burned to ashes. Haunting is an insulting understatement. This music flaunts what words can't touch, and smiles Mona Lisa at our unworthiness.

Everyone who doesn't like the Mountain Goats is a COMMUNIST! One time, I met this guy who didn't like The Mountain Goats, so I stole his lunch money and threw him in a garbage can and stole his stupid little bike. The bike had a hammer and sickle insignia on it. I chucked it in the river. If you do not like this song, video, or band, you can go straight to hell. One day, very soon, John Darnielle will enslave the world to bitterness. And it will be awesome.

edited 12th Aug '10 1:05:06 AM by newtonthenewt

@Jinxed. I want a link to that video.

This appears on a lot of a lot of videos after someone does something insanely awesome,but:

"Yeah, didn't you hear about this kid? He died. He drowned in a sea of pussy."

Never fails to make me laugh.

Aye Aye Korgy sir! I shall endeavor to find it!

EDIT: I found it! Though the comment is different than I remember but no less funny. Proper Quote: You LIED to a Corgi By making it belive it has yet achieved flight!!!! HOW COULD YOU?!?!

anyway linky for flying corgi!

edited 18th Aug '10 1:25:31 PM by JinxedBlackcat

Brandon Flowers' new single Crossfire has so many of these I actually read the comments to cheer myself up.

as a guy all I have to say is that is one sexy beautiful and lovely human being...and Charlize Theron isn't that bad either lol (i mean it)

There are more comments scattered throughout the pages along these lines. While Charlize Theron has at least 50% of the gushing, no one has yet admitted to being female. Well, besides me.

And the one in my signature:

Charlize Theron does not equal actress. Charlize Theron = Ninja killer

FIRST ACTUAL WOMAN TO ATTAIN MEMETIC BADASS STATUS PLZ

edited 18th Aug '10 10:38:35 PM by Leradny

From here:

Do you really think I would have asked if you wanted pizza if there was a single chance of you affecting the toppings? ...I ordered it thirty five minutes ago.

Okay, that was me. I'll take two anti-wins for that, I just felt like sharing.

^ Well, if it's any consolation, I thought it was pretty funny.

So I was listening to a boss battle song that is one of my favorite ever because it just explodes right in your face. Listen to it for a moment.

plan for success:

1. set this as alarm tone

2. succeed

The highest-rated comment to this video:

Comparing Call of Duty to Mother is like comparing an a-bomb's explosion to a flower petal. The atom bomb is much more striking visually at first. But after a while, staring at it, you realize there isn't much beauty at all in it. And in mere seconds, ears ringing and eyes watering, it is over. The flower petal is deceptively simple. At first glance, nothing more than a flap of plant tissue. But look closer, for the petal took billions of years to evolve. Though it is delicate, it is enduring.

Regardless of whether or not you're a fan of the game(s) mentioned, it's really impressive to see people come up with analogies that complex on the fly...

From a Boondock Saints clip:

may the saints pay a visit to those 71 people who couldnt find the like button

From a clip of The Ugly Barnacle

94 people are ugly barnacles.

I don't have a nomination, I'm just wondering if my reply to this vid was funny or not.

So hotdogphobic! Food is food, and we should accept it in all of its forms. I support the LGBBQ community, and think that a mealage of two wieners can be just as beautiful and tasty as a mealage of one wiener and a bun.

It's not particularly witty, but this

Try listening to this when you're studying. It feels like you're doing some sort of research that will affect mankind's fate.

Roses Are Red/ Violets Are Blue/ Omae wa mo/ Shindeiru

Highest rated comment. I smell a troper...