The Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkrieg Clean-Up

So I've noticed a lot of complaining and snark on pages for Peter Guerrin's fanfics. While I don't doubt their quality, I think the amount of vitriol they've attracted is just ridiculous. To give you an example, here's this excerpt from The Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkrieg Debacle:

• Office Lady: Yoriko initially poses as one to get the Mitsubishi Neo-Zero prototype for NIRAA. Also, she appears to be one for NIRAA, though Guerin seems to think that any woman in a suit is an OL regardless of their actual function in an organization.

Yeaaaaaaah, this one doesn't explain why she's an Office Lady.

So should this entry be deleted then?

Suggested rewrite:

• Office Lady: The narrative refers to Yoriko as an "office lady" when she first appears; however, it is very quickly apparent that she is much more than that, and is in fact the leader of the NIRAA.

I already deleted the entry because it seemed like an excuse to complain. However, I dig the rewrite. Will be adding shortly.