WTF news headlines.

Saw this one checking the Yahoo!News today:

"What sank the Titanic? Scientists point to the moon."

...wtf.

That makes sense, if you know about the moon's effects on the tides.

So the article explained, but taken at face value one might imagine the moon going "I'M GOING TO DISGUISE MYSELF AS AN ICEBERG AND SINK THE TITANIC! MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

That settles it. The moon did 9/11.

If I were the moon, that would totally be my plan. They'd never see it coming.

It must've planned that out at least three days in advance.

DARN IT! You beat me to the obligary Majoras Mask refernce.

China Bans Time Travel

Well of course. Otherwise it would be perfectly legal for stoners to create The Bong Dynasty or for 13 year olds to give Confucius the idea to say "Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok".

There's a "http" problem with your link (possibly a missing colon)

Okay, so I found these in a book that had a chapter devoted to these sort of things, but here goes:

• "Man bitten by chocolate biscuit in midnight snack attack" (Makes Just as Much Sense in Context, I presume)
• "Filming in cemetery angers residents" (Ah, the joys of ambiguity)

Unfortunately those are the only ones I can remember off the top of my head. As a bonus, have a choice excerpt from a newspaper which had its' meaning change very dramatically with a single typo:

"A man frowned after falling into the river Teviot."

From the Yahoo!News today:

Man Attacked by Mountain Lion, Saved by Bear

....wait wait wait. You give me a "...lolwut" headline like that and expect me to not read you? ...well played, journalist.

"Studies Show Liberals Are More Stubborn Than Normal People"

"Women knit uteruses in protest"

"Easter Bunny' arrested"

"NYC abandons 'dinosaur' ban on tests"

"Lightning hits car, mom reacts"

Not giving you the links so you can maintain confusion :3

Now I want to knit a uterus. And maybe turn it into a purse.

I know a guy who has that. Wears a bag-thingy.

I think I've talked about this before, and it's a mundane story but a very unfortunately worded headline - the article was about the Tim Burton adaptation of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory having a good opening week at the box office. They went with something like "Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' Has Delicious Opening". As far as actual weird news stories go, I'm still kinda fond of Porpoises Rescue Dick Van Dyke.

D'aww! Hooray for porpoises!

For WTF value in both headline and content (more the latter than the former, admittedly), I present to you Police: Man Armed With Plunger Tries To Rob Central New York Bank

edited 13th Apr '12 4:58:27 PM by Nohbody

"Cannibal Shrimp: The Invasion Has Begun"

It's a very un-WTF news story, but tell me the headline doesn't make you think of a B-movie.

I totally wanna make that movie now.

Dead obese woman's fat sets crematorium building on fire. It's exactly what it sounds like.

Man Attacks Girlfriend With Wasabi-Covered Pants.

WUT.

In the aftermath of a nuclear accident near New Jersey, unknowing of the horror awaiting them, the people of Jersey head to the beach after the nuclear waste issue has been sufficiently dealt with by the government. But, just when the beach babes and dudes thought it was safe to get back in the water... -cut to a picture of a fake tanned steroid user getting pulled into the water by a giant shrimp made of bad CGI-A HORROR UNRELENTING! Its hunger for human flesh never sated! It...is... Cannibal Shrimp: The Invasion Has Begun

I also remember reading about some sort of story titled Mitt Romney - Man or Unicorn?

edited 29th Jun '12 11:42:58 PM by NickTheSwing

I don't know if this is worthy enough to be placed here, but I found the Serial Butt Stabber to be WTF-inducing, even if the article is a bit old.

Also, Man Claims Leprechauns Beat Him Up