WTF news headlines.

Like Man shoots at mouse, hits roommate; another roommate arrested for rape

You can't make this shit up!

Well that's... bizarre, to say the least.

"Convict Evades Noose, Jury Hung."

"Hospital Being Sued by Seven Foot Doctors"

I've always loved "Grandmother of 99 makes hole in one"

edited 21st Dec '11 1:34:32 PM by Jimmmyman10

"Weiner pulls out."

"I Kicked a Burning Terrorist in the Balls so Hard I Tore a Tendon in my Foot"

Might be phrased a little different.

edited 21st Dec '11 1:51:09 PM by INUH

That one's awesome, and it sounds a little familiar.

"Woman brutally attacked. That's two! (followed by high-five)" [1]

Also, notice that their sports page is called "Sports Pullout". As in, the pullout method?

edited 21st Dec '11 5:45:55 PM by Buscemi

"A new law allows bikers to proceed through red lights when censors don't pick them up, but some call it vague."

Not the actual headline (it's kind of the eye-catcher since the actual headline is below the front page's fold), but it still warrents a WTF.

The LA Times had an article about how taxis aren't allowed to pick people up off the street; they have to wait in designated areas and there will be tons of cabs waiting there for people to get in.

Anyway the headline was "Taxi Drivers Tired of Pick-Up Lines."

"DOE to do NEPA's EIS on BNFL's AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protest"

"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25"

"Puerto Rican teen named mistress of the universe"

"Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison"

"One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers"

"Missippi's literacy program shows improvement"

edited 7th Feb '12 9:54:15 PM by Pykrete

Ok, all of those are funny.

edited 7th Feb '12 9:55:01 PM by CDRW

Oh god, these made me laugh.

The Captain Obvious in some of them is just...

I found:

• "Country pays $250,000 to advertise lack of funds"
• "Alton Attorney accidentailly sues himself"
• "Army Vehicle disappears after camouflage paintjob."
• "Meeting after meetings is closed."
• "Miners refuse to work after death."
• "Two Soviet ships collide - one dies."
• "Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy."

edited 8th Feb '12 4:26:08 AM by PippingFool

But the best ones are the ones where the whole story is a WTF, not just the headline:

Stoned Wallabies Make Crop Circles

'Fast Eddie' arrested after 19 years on the run.

It can't be Fast Eddie. He doesn't look like a prospector fisherman.

CCTV police officer chased himself after being mistaken for burglar

Oh that's a great one.

Facebook "defriending" led to double murder police say

...WHUT

Facebook is indeed Serious Business.

Alton attorney? As in Alton, Illinois?

That doesn't surprise me, as it is a weird town.

From the Crazy Awesome quotes page:

"A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said."

Just... this

Did that come from some sort of equivalent to Weekly World News...?

edited 24th Feb '12 12:53:30 PM by Bur