WTF Fanfiction

‘“That’s a lovely penis you have there,” he whispered. “It’d be a shame if anything happened to it.”’

“‘g’day.’ said the sniper in his most wicked tone which was also surprisingly erotic and scot’s man-bits began to tingle with confusion even though he totally wasn’t gay because being gay was so fucking gay.”

I was going to deflower her, that beautiful |- block I had longed for for so long. She looked a bit confused, having never done anything like this before, so I helped by undressing her. Staring at her colorless, naked pixels, I discovered what true beauty was. No wonder the ancient Greeks loved gazing at the 8-bit Venus in the nude! I unbuttoned the blue pixel I had on my lower half and instructed her on the ways of foreplay. As her top pixel met my bottom pixel, I let out an ecstatic sigh. Such pleasure I had never experienced in my life. I didn’t want the experience to be one-sided, so I let her stop and I touched her bottom pixel for a bit

“Flexing his mighty muscles above his head, Hercules roared a mighty roar, and his three mighty penises screamed like banshees.”

"I feel helpless," Anakin's voice sounded suddenly hoarse. "Words are so limited, they mean so many different things I know that what I'm trying to convey is not what you are understanding by them; it's all so subjective." He felt infinitely tired. "There are moments when I think horror and guilt are going to kill me or drive me mad. And I wish I could die to release myself from the burden of my own life. It would certainly save you, and myself, a lot of pain and trouble. But then," he instinctively looked down at his and Luke's clasped hands, "I look at my children and at their friends. They all have forgiven me! I've tortured them, chased them implacably for years. I've killed and taken away from them friends, relatives and people they loved. I've committed obscene, unspeakable acts towards them, towards thousands of people, that have defiled me as a sentient being. I've degraded myself to a degree that no one will ever know." He swallowed again and made a grimace at the bitter taste. "And yet, despite everything, I feel I still have something to give. There's this warm, sweet light inside me that seems to indicate the right path. For the first time in my life, I know where my future lies, what I can become, with all your help." He squeezed Luke's hand, desperately asking for his support. He needed it now more than ever. He immediately felt his son returning the pressure tenfold. "I need to atone for my crimes somehow. In any way I can! I know I can't bring back all those I murdered, but I can save other lives, just as precious as the ones I took. I can help you to rebuild what I helped to destroy. I can help my son to bring back the Jedi Order I exterminated. We can find a way, all of us, together." He gasped for breath and went on. "I know you'll be taking a huge risk should you decide to reprieve me. It's an undeniable possibility. But if we succeed, it will be the best way to show the galaxy it can work out, that we all can coexist peacefully, working together for the greater good. We're stronger together," he met Mon Mothma's eyes and spoke with a passion as he had never known to possess. "I offer myself to you in any way you deem fit. I'll accept anything you decide to do with me." He was unashamedly begging now. "Please, give me the chance to put right what I did wrong. Let me try to make up for my crimes. Allow me to be a father for my children. Allow me to redeem myself; help me to get my dignity, my humanity back!"

“You can do nothing but nod. This boy is made out of lasers.”

“Profezro, It aches my skin and negates the maturation you unleash inside my sacred womb.”

Fandom: Harry Potter

“She opened her eyes enough to peek at him and saw that his were open, staring down at her mouth as if he was getting ready to taste the best pudding of his life.”

Fandom: Harry Potter

“You’re as hot as dragon’s fire

Filling me with desire

Your small tits and big ass

Make my wand grow into a staff

Say you want me to

We don’t have to make love,

Just screw”

Bill Nye The Science Guy

“Take a look at this: It’s my amazing penis of science!”

is she a RAT HOOKER or what?

Hedwig’s POV:

“Shoohoo, Shoohoo, Shoohoo, Shoohoo, Shoohoo.”

“OMFG U BITCH! WTF! I WAS TRYING TO HAVE THE SEX WITH YOU GAWSH!!!’ She grabbed her evoker and yelled EXECUTIVE!”

“He paused a moment with just the tip of his penis next to the brain. He changed his angle a bit, feeling the moist folds of it against the head of his prick. Each motion felt like the gentle swish of a butterfly’s wings.”

“He is laid out upon it, an offering to the deus argento, that now towers above him on knees, nudus, skin blazing like the full moon, stretched taut over tight muscles & tendons & bones.”

And besides, vaginas were so last year.