...worth a try.

Title: Strategic Cyborg Evangelion

Genre: Real Robot Genre Space Opera zigzagging back and forth between Cosmic Horror Story and Lovecraft Lite

How far along: 31 chapters, 132k words. It's about a third of the way through but it's supposed to be the first part of a series, so prepare for a long haul. Plot is mostly planned out.

Synopsis: I'll let the (rather low-quality) trope page handle this. A lot of characters are considerably more badass than in canon - but considering what they're up against, they need it. Like stated above, the story can't really decide if it wants to be a Cosmic Horror Story or Lovecraft Lite, with elements of both. A major theme is sacrifice: how much one should be prepared to sacrifice for their cause? Where is the point where the cause is simply not worth it?

Help needed: Aside from the usual issues of consistency and coherency, I also need a second opinion on pacing and world building. The ideal candidate is someone not concerned with spoilers or canon, not afraid to receive extremely long-winded and detailed explanations and not allergic to original characters in major roles.

@Awsamweston: Have you read Erfworld? Because you plot strongly resembles theirs.

So, how much knowledge/equipment does this "wizard" have? Is it your average couch potato/pencil pusher? Does he have extensive STEM knowledge? Is he a soldier? Is he summoned in his birthday suit, or does he have medicine/guns/etc. that might come in handy?

These are all great questions, but please remember Thread Rule #3. (Yes, I know I'm breaking it to post this.)

If you have any questions about my project, you're welcome to send a PM.

edited 2nd Dec '16 11:47:50 PM by AwSamWeston

Book: https://www.wattpad.com/106147824-the-new-zodiac-arisen-anew-chapter-1-digging-up

Title: The New Zodiac: Arisen Anew

Genre: Urban Fantasy

How Far Along: Completed. This is going to be part of a trilogy, and I have a very loose plan of what's going to happen in the next two books.

Synopsis: After a series of supernatural accidents occurs at their school, twelve teenagers realise that they possess superhuman abilities and are set to become successors of godlike beings known as the Full Zodiac. These twelve, known as the New Zodiac must learn to control these abilities, for an unseen evil is slowly spreading throughout the city, and is hellbent on killing them and using their powers for their own selfish needs.

Help Needed: Mostly checking for any missed grammatical inaccuracies, plot holes, checking the continuity, and maybe a few ideas on what could be worked into the plot (i can give you full details over pm.). I'm planning on publishing this book when I'm older and making a career out of it, so any advice could be useful.

P.S.: I am already aware that chapter 12 sucks and needs serious reworking, so please don't dwell on that too much. If you had any ideas on how to rework it, then please let me know, I'd love to hear them.

edited 25th Feb '17 7:20:18 PM by KeisariFerskja

I might as well give this a shot.

Title: Protectors

Genre: Superhero

Rating: M^note For violence, as well as harsh swearing, mature themes, and sexuality found throughout the story.

How Far Along: 4 chapters, with more to come soon.

Synopsis: Protectors takes place in the year 2057, known as "The Age of Heroes". Twenty-two years ago, the Splisen War, where an alien race invaded Earth with the intentions of destroying it, had ended with Earth winning. Since then, nothing was the same. An international task force known as the Protectors have since served as peacekeepers of the Earth. However, a worldwide terrorist organization known as Mist threatens to cause chaos around the world, and they seek to put an end to the Protectors once-and-for-all.

Help Needed: I mainly need help with story-related things, though any writing mistakes that can be pointed out would be appreciated.

How Serious I Am: I'm hoping to make this a publishable work someday.

All right, this thread looks good. Let's give it a shot:

Title: The Cemetery Traveler.

Genre: Military Science Fiction, with some Fantasy elements. It's more geared towards Drama than adventure, though.

Synopsis: A novel, set in an Alternate Reality, in which individuals can become part of a Secret Police of sorts, referred to as "Judges." Our protagonist, Max Beckett, after witnessing an attack caused by some strange creatures called the Hye, is forced to accompany a special squad of Judges to Hye-Infested cities in the country, as he may be the key to stopping them. However, his difficulties in getting used to the brutality and corruption of his own country is worsened when a terrorist group seeks to take advantage of the crisis to assasinate various political figures...

How Far Along: One chapter only, 30 pages. Storyboard is done, as I have been planning this story for years now. It's sorta my baby at this point.

Help Needed: Mostly in the pacing department. I want to check the level of engagement my story creates. Must be a person willing to know the whole story in advance.

Title: Tales of a Reset Mind

Genre: Drama-Action.

Tales of a Reset Mind is an Inside Out fanfic, which has some mild crossovers with the SCP Foundation, Percy Jackson And The Olympians'", and (soon), The House Of The Dead''

Synopsis: Tales of a Reset Mind is about Nico, a 14-year-old, and his Emotions. The story starts when Nico sees Inside Out at the cinema. The effect it has on him, and his Emotions, leads to him making peace with his troubled past over the course of three "chapters" , which are called parts. However, there is a major Genre Shift by the last one, when an invasion from the Subconscious threatens the whole Mind World, and it's up to the Emotions to put a stop to it before the creatures of the night can permanently damage Nico's mind.

The fic is almost complete (only missing on a gap I left on purpose, which will be filled with the Emotions playing a very real The House Of The Dead), and the finale.

What am I looking for: Advice on how to write better some parts, and a general review of the plot itself.

The story is done mostly for fun. There are also two tie-in documents, which are covered on the (weak)work page and which I am not seeking critics for (yet).

The story has about 12k words.

THIS ONE HAS BEEN ANSWERED THANK YOU.

I've got two things. One is very short (a bit under 1000 words, but there is a reason for that) and one is just short (A bit over 1000 words). Both were written to give me a feel for writing my characters. They're just scenes in the background. But, since I wanna know how I went and they are complete, I'll try this. I'm not sure if you're allowed to do two at once, but I guess I can try it anyway and if it turns out to not be allowed I'll change it.

Title: Remember To Smile and Stitch, Stitch, Stitch

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Synopsis:

Remember To Smile: Arte has a good day. Or as good a day as he is actually capable of having, anyway. (Written to give me an idea of what kind of place it is in Arte's head.)

Stitch, Stitch, Stitch: Young Jo learns to sew. Hopefully, that's not all she learns. (Written to help me solidify this part of her backstory. Specifically, it takes place the day after she almost died due to her own stupidity, and on the day she learns that her actions have consequences. Contains some swearing.)

How Far Along: Complete, though the larger story they're a part of isn't. But they should make sense as stand alones, I think.

How Serious Am I? This is my own thing I'm doing in my own time. So, not hugely serious.

Help Needed: Remember To Smile is written from Arte's point of view, to show what kind of place it is in his head. I want to know if the way it was written works, and if it gives off the feeling it's supposed to. I've going for something very specific, here, so I wanna know if I got it or if I missed.

For Stitch, Stitch, Stitch, I wanna know if the way I've written the characters works. Does the relationship work? Is Jo reacting like she should be? Does she change her attitude too suddenly?

Also in general I wanna know if the writing works and all.

edited 26th Jan '17 9:23:40 PM by Murataku

• Title: Wardove
• Genre: Dystopian
• Synopsis: Eve Chance assumed the mandatory evacuation would be simple—take her sister Audrey to the FEMA camp as per instructions and wait for a plane to take them to Europe so they could wait out the American-Psychic Civil War in the French countryside. But when an unexpected ambush somehow infects Audrey with her own psychic powers, Eve finds that the army isn’t feeling like giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. With both sides of the war wanting her anxious little sister’s head, she has to make it to Canada, where she hopes she can find her mother and safety. But nowhere is truly safe in this once proud nation turned upside-down.
• How Far Along: Several chapters (don't remember how many, at least twenty), but I'm about to rewrite it completely and I'm seeing what can be salvaged.
• How Serious Am I? I do want to publish this novel, but I don't care about the timeframe overly much. I also don't plan a full career in writing—not my lifestyle.
• Help Needed: I need advice on just about everything big-picture. Plot, characters and description are the big three I would especially like help in, but feel free to point out anything.

While it seems that nobody answered my previous post in this thread, I got a much more developed story here.

• Title: Lock's Lizards and Labyrinths
• Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, and Comedy
• Rating: TV-PG to TV-14 ^note contains a small innuendo
• Synopsis: Lock has this group of adventurers he recruited in high school, but it seems they aren't that into it. Their first mission is to save Lock's sister Princess Flora from a dragon's lair. For the record, Flora was only kidnapped because she was just singing on the dragon's lawn.
• How Far Along: The scenes where the group enters the lair and the ending has not been written. Only the beginning and the scene where they save Flora is written, though partially.
• Help Needed: Do the sentences flow naturally? Is there any actual characterization in these characters? And most importantly, is it funny?
• How Serious I Am: I'm planning to make more scripts for animated shorts, but I'm not ready for the animation itself.

I've got this story idea mapped out and all, but I may need some eyes.

Name: None yet

Genre: Technothriller

Media: Book

Help needed: Both story and world-building

Progress: A chapter worked out.

Serious: A combo for fun/novel would work out.

Summary: An arms dealer intervenes in Bosnia by assisting pro-independence groups in Croatia and later in Bosnia. One of his companions is a young man from Asia whose parents were killed. He heads there to determine if his killer roams the Balkans somewhere. On the way, he learns that the killer may be linked with a conspiracy that can shape the history of the Balkans.

Concerns: Not sure if should go with a conspiracy link or go with the idea of We Help the Helpless eventually.

genre: fantasy

What it is: script

What kind of help you're looking for: dialogue, plot, and characters.

How far along the work is: this is the second draft

How serious you are - I might consider it making a show after I leave college.

here's the link:https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1TCSr1_j0HmQnVnMTBINnVHSTg/view

• Title - None so far
• Type of Writing - Book
• Genre - Urban Fantasy/Adventure (more fantasy than anything)
• Synopsis - Gabby Hart is a normal high school newspaper reporter with a less than normal ability that she isn't totally aware about. After an encounter with an angel-like cast out of her home world, she and companions she meets along the way travel to the fabled land of Agartha deep within the earth; a prosperous world filled with beings resembling angels. Her adventure brings her out of her comfort zone and into the wonders of the hidden world. Over time, she learns of the strange cosmic organism that her body has been harboring ever since she was young, and finds out how this organism is just another piece of the puzzle that ties her to her powers and this inner earth.
• How Far In - I'm about 4K into the story, but much of that may have to be rewritten for the sake of making everything sound better.
• Type of Help - Mainly looking for assistance in creating coherent writing and working with a natural type of flow, and weaning myself off of using words too many times? That, along with being able to listen to ideas for concepts and help bring them together to create one whole cohesive story, as well as omit and fix things that aren't exactly factual?
• How Serious I Am - I've only been writing for a short while (1 year and some few months), so as of now, I'm doing this for my own improvement to see if I can do it. However, if it ends up working, I may rework it and try to publish it.

I have confidence in how I write, although, I have a tendency to burn out and force myself to make more, which hurts the quality of what I create, as well as the ideas I may have. With the right critics, I feel like I could improve for the better in both making something people would want read, and would enjoy reading. I'm willing to take harsh criticism.

edited 24th May '17 10:30:55 AM by LimeKid

• Title: Birthright
• Genre: Fantasy with elements of Thriller
• Current Length: Three completed/published chapters (Approx. 25K words)
• Synopsis:

• What I'm looking for: I'm looking for general feedback and critique on the story as a whole, ideally over a long-term. This is an serially published web novel, with chapters coming out as they're completed, so I'd like someone who I can work with on each chapter, and someone I can discuss the future of the story with to help myself work through plot hitches (Though I should clarify I'm not looking for help writing the piece so much as someone to talk through problems with/at.)
• Format/Seriousness: As mentioned, this is a serially-published web-novel, so I don't have any immediate monetary plans for it. That said I intend to use this as a piece for a professional writing portfolio, and if the finished product turns out to be reasonably popular I may move onto a second draft that could turn into a publishable novel. Beyond that, I prefer to put as high a level of polish into my pieces as possible anyways.

NO LONGER TAKING CRITIQUES

Title: Gleahan and the Knaves of Industry
Genre: Adventure Comedy
Type: Feature-length screenplay.
How Far: Draft 2 completed. 84 pages.
Seriousness: Crowdfunding starts in September, entering it into a screenwriting competition later that month, and starting production in October.
Synopsis:

edited 24th Sep '17 9:02:11 PM by AwSamWeston

The First Light (working title)

Genre: Fantasy, basically urban fantasy but it’s intended to be an introduction to a larger verse that will go through genre roulettes. It's developing a touch of mystery, if only by virtue of having a Cormoran Strike expy as a triagonist.

Form: Initially intended to be a novella, at this point it looks likely to end up as a (not necessarily long) novel.

What I want: For the most part I’m looking for general criticism and advice. One issue I’m slightly concerned about is scene length, because for the most part I’ve been using a quick-cuts style, however this is correcting itself somewhat. Another issue is that many of the characters are based on existing characters (so far, drawing mostly on the Cormoran Strike novels and RWBY), and I’m paranoid that they’re too close. Might want some help with dialogue, or at least formatting the dialogue. Department of Redundancy Department and/or Said Bookism might be an issue.

Status: Comfortably novella-length, over 60% of the way to the accepted minimum novel length (40,000 words). The story isn't close to being wrapped up, though, and it's likely to put on at least 10,000 words before I'm done. The plan for resolving the main conflict has been set in motion, though.

Like I said, this is an introduction to the verse I intend to set a lot of works in, so I would be publishing it. Somehow. Seeing as I don’t plan on waxing too long, I’m strongly considering trying Kindle or Nook or something for publishing it.

Synopsis: The story has mostly been following Marron, the Key of Light, and Tombré, her older brother, as they go about their lives, with the main conflict of the story involving a crime lord hired to harm Marron kidnapping one of her friends because of a case of mistaken identity; at this point the attempt to locate her is what's driving the plot. I’ve been teasing a more significant conflict in the backstory based on tension between magic-users and muggles that would be addressed more in sequels and prequels.

Edited by TroperOnAStickV2 on Nov 9th 2018 at 12:14:51 PM

So trying to get any sort of help for this story, which I hope to one day get published.

Genre: Heroes

Summary: Vicki is a 20 year old woman, raised by a single mother Emily who in her youth was once a registered hero, but eventually left and gave birth and raised Vicki. Because of this Vicki has always wanted to be a hero, and when she finally gets the chance to take the test she is able to pass and become one of the many governmental approved heroes. The first thing she learns is that not all hero work is going to end with everyone happy. And as she begins to work Vicki is given a partner Mark that is suppose to help her get use to being a hero.

As the two do general hero work and Mark becomes a mentor for Vicki, they are eventually given a assignment where Mark loses it, as the anarchist bomber was a believer a person who killed Mark's wife and unborn child. Despite Vicki really caring for Mark, she was a hero. And no killing is one of the many rules that Mark was about to break, so Vicki is forced to act and stops Mark from going to far. But before she could settle him down, he leaves and cuts ties from being a hero, and now Vicki is left hurt and dealing with both becoming a hero and the fear from others that she might have been influenced by her once partner now criminal Mark.

Help: I am looking for assistance in making sure the story makes sense and potentially helping me pick out powers for my characters. At least those that will have powers.

I already have the plot all the way to a third book, but it is mostly just the rough draft of the plot line, so there is much work that is needed. I honestly plan to work on this so I can publish it one day, any help is appreciated, even if it is as simple as hey you forgot a comma. Thank you for looking this over.

• Name: The Slaves of the Desert Mine
• Genre: Fantasy in a world created by technology so arguably Sci-Fi as well. Started off as a Minecraft fanfiction but quickly evolved into its own, still roughly Minecraft-based universe.
• Form: Published on a forum.
• Synopsis: Set on a Minecraft server using a technology that allows people to enter the server's world. Hackers hijacked the server and are now holding people hostage in a slave mine, trying to pressure the server owners into giving them the technology the server uses.
  Fire, real life supporter and friend of the server owners is also in the quarry, he four other slaves formulate a plan to flee the quarry and gather artefacts to create the Ban Hammer (a backdoor of sorts) in order to free the server from the hackers.
  After the breakout they have to first reach Fire's base in order to prepare for the artefact hunting. On the way there they must overcome various perils.
• Status: Approximately 120.000 words over 74 chapters. Storyline wise, still quite far from completion.
• What I'm looking for: Mostly an independent review and heads up on the story so far. I'm not sure on some of the characterization and character development I did.
• Seriousness: It's a hobby, I still want it to be as good as I can make it though. I have considered publishing it some day but in order to do that I have to finish it first.

I have two!

War Of A Thousand Worlds

• Genre: Drama/Action. Short story.
• What It Is: Massive Crossover that doesn't require particular knowledge of anything, would be Original Fiction if not for the appearances of other characters as one scene wonders. Technically a Fanfic. Also a sort of Deconstruction of another one of my works. (Above in this page)
• I'm looking for help with the writing; the plot itself I have no issues with. There are some areas where it sounds a bit off, particularly in the penultimate battle.
• Completed story. (10k words) Sequel below.
• Done Just for Fun.
• Synopsis: Brian Hawke is an author. He writes stories for himself and others, creating little bundles of joy that he shares with the world via the Internet. He's so passionate about his stories that they follow him into his dreams, building characters and a continuity out of something that should have neither. So when the murders of two important characters in his dreams threatens to send the many stories in his unconscious to war, he and his friend Nicholas must race against the clock to gather allies and stop this conflict before it starts... as well as deal with a traitor in their midst.

1. 2

The Falcon Writer

• Genre: Superhero Comedy /Gen Fic.
• It's a Miraculous Ladybug story with the setting moved to London. Three OC's (The protagonist of the previous story, the Falcon Writer and the fox kwami, not counting villains). It's a Gen Fic. I'm trying to make it Original Flavour while still introducing a credible threat. Separated in Episodes.
• Looking for help with the writing, too. Especially the 'interrogation' in Episode 2. Also on advice on whether I should skip to the final trio of episodes after the fourth or do some more.
• Again, Just for Fun.
• Synopsis: I guess you could call it a 'London AU', but I'm no expert on the matter. The story follows the adventures of Brian Hawke, who uses the powers granted to him in the previous story for good in his small village near Birmingham, until circumstances make his family move to London. Little does he know that there is another villain aside from Hawkmoth, a villain who can corrupt people with impunity using paper airplanes, creating supervillains worthy of Hawk Moth. Will he be able to band together with Ladybug and Chat Noir to stop this latest menace, or will the fearsonme bird of prey get what he wants? No romance. Set after Dark Owl in the timeline. Everything up to that point proceeded normally.

• Ongoing, Episode 4 and 30k words so far. Minimum of 3 still to go.

edited 20th Mar '18 5:40:38 PM by joacobanfield

Title: Theriomorph Chronicles: Subhuman

Genre: Science fiction horror action

How Far Along: Only 1 chapter is published on FictionPress the second chapter I'm writing

Synopsis: An 11 year old boy named Warren Hiedler is transmutated into a Bald Eagle Theriomorph. He awakens in an operating theatre after Meredith Young, a Cougar Theriomorph releases him from the table. Entering a world where Theriomorphs are persecuted, Warren forms the Blood Order to fight back. Soon, Warren plunges depths into darkness as his philosophy grows extreme due to traumatic and disturbing events turning his idealism into a more twisted one.

Help needed: What I need here is to point out of the mistakes, inconsistencies, character errors, plot holes and other goofs inside the story. I also need someone to point out the prose and dialogue so I can improve on the quality of it.

Seriousness: Intending to be published as a book.

Link to the story: Theriomorph Chronicles: Subhuman

Also has its page: Theriomorph Chronicles

edited 5th Apr '18 3:02:31 PM by Huthman

I am writing a web serial. It is pretty long (over 500 pages, but split into +/- 10 page installments) and will eventually be very long, if I don't get discouraged and quit. I am in the process of illustrating and also trying to fill out a wiki. It's been going for about a year and I haven't picked up many readers. Once stuff is on the site, it is not in beta anymore, but I'm willing to share in-progress stuff via Google Docs if desired. Stuff on the site needs editing for formatting and continuity and typos/spelling/occasional grammar, but I'm taking some time off to go through everything with a fine tooth comb so you don't necessarily have to help me with that.

Ideally, some people will see this here and have a look at the story and like it. You don't necessarily have to come back and shoot me an in-depth analysis of it. But I sure will take constructive criticism and analysis and whatever else you want to give me.

• Genre: Fantasy AU. Steampunk/Clockpunk/Victorian with a side of Magitek.
• Format: Web Serial on Wordpress, free to read but with occasional ads... which occasionally seem to mess with people loading the pages. I am sorry about that. I can't justify a paid plan with three regular readers.
• The Help I Need: Please like me! Tell your friends also that you like me! Or hate me. Shower me with attention. Look, I will take anything you are willing to give, as long as you are coherent about it.
• General Condition: Not bad, although I'm doing all the formatting and editing myself. Occasional continuity errors (maps and layout, what kinds of lamps are in a room, colors of things, ages dates and math), typos and spelling esp. subbing a word for another word because the spellchecker doesn't get those ('walk' for 'walked' or 'scram' for 'scream'). It's readable. A couple people like it.
• How Serious?: This thing will go multiple years like a Chuck Lorre sitcom if I get some fans. I have a Patreon, and I'd like to pick up enough money to get rid of the ads. And my own HBO series. Or Nexflix. Amazon. I promise, if I get my own series, I will write WAY faster than George R. R. Martin.
• A Blurb: Magic and technology blend seamlessly with each other, and with biology. There exist innately magical people who are weird colors, and also normal people can use magic, but not in exactly the same way. There are many gods and they meddle in the affairs of men. It's a few years after a very long war which Marsellia lost, and they are not too happy about that. Our story is centered on a boarding house in a slum which has a lot of weird people in it. Sometimes it is very sad and sometimes it is hilarious. Recently, we have had a very angry woman stuck on the roof in a raincoat which plays 'Build Me Up, Buttercup' on an infinite loop, absorbing repeated strikes of magic in place of a lightning rod - but there have also been sick people who almost died and some riots and arson. Mood Whiplash is a feature. There is a New Readers page which is a lot more in depth and coherent, and has a summary if you don't want to read 500 pages worth of installments.
• A Link: Tin Soldier

I realize I've posted in here before, but I've dropped off the current page and I am still in need of additional alpha readers whose schedules aren't so busy.

My story is currently titled The Pseudo-Retirement of a Painted Servant. It is my first practice novel, and it is a Science Fantasy character drama, focused for the most part on low-key character interaction. For the moment, I plan on making this particular story a free web serial, since it is practice, and, well, I like having a second set of eyes around to catch the little things we all miss in the first draft. After I complete this particular novel, I'll start planning a rewrite and see where I want to go with regards to publication and monetization options from there.

Amidst dragon-queens, multi-tailed wolves, talking fire, and the omnipresence of magic, the Rivari people remain an enigma. Their bodies crave servitude for reasons nobody understands, least of all them, a fact that the sophonts of the world are all too happy to take advantage of. When a prideful Rivari man has his life turned upside down, ugly truths rear their heads that drive him to forge his own path, and force him to reconsider what it means to be a Rivari.

At the moment, counting text-complete chapters, I am nearly 24k words, five chapters, and maybe a quarter to a third of the way into the story. The first three chapters have undergone extensive revisions to hammer out the general feel, and only really have a couple content concerns that need to be gone over before I post them on my Tumblr. Since I last posted, I have been slowly getting more comfortable with longform prose and at this point I'm most concerned with content and execution. (Of course, if you see grammar/sentence flow/other technical issues, you're free to point them out.) So things like impressions of events and characters, what my words are conveying, how you feel as a reader, and what catches your eye. And more specifically, I will be needing some assistance portraying some relationships (romantic and friendly) in the near future.

I don't write very quickly and have a full-time job, so it might take me a month to write the next chapter after I've finished the first one at the absolute fastest. Check out the first chapter, and if you're interested in continuing, drop me a PM and I'll get you the link to the GDrive folder. And if you have something you'd like critiqued, I'm open to making a critique trade and will do what I can to help. (Please no erotica/pornographic writing or heavily Animesque works. I'll also look at fanfic, but I might only be able to offer basic technical critique.)

Edited by CrystalGlacia on Nov 6th 2018 at 9:36:11 AM

Title: A Fox and her Prey

Format: Short story (~4 500 words)

Genre: Supernatural Romance

How far along: Complete, I believe. (Barring feedback.)

Synopsis: A gumiho in the modern world finds herself falling for her latest prey, as much as she tries to deny it to herself. And postponing the kill only really works for so long...

Help wanted: I'm primarily looking for a sensitivity reader, as one of my protagonists is a gumiho (i.e. a Korean shapeshifting fox—related to the Japanese kitsune, I believe).

(As far as I recall, I never actually specify the nationality of the protagonists, or their location, so I'm not sure of whether a reader is called for beyond that; I'll leave it to the reader's discretion.)

General feedback would be appreciated, too, if feasible!

(removed)

Edited by Tonberry2k on Jul 25th 2019 at 4:17:31 AM