Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

Sniper scopes do not give bonuses to crowbars.

Speaking of seeing what happens, making the gm refer to a physics textbook is bad.

(I only wanted to know what would happen if you spoke underwater not needing air in your lungs, seems it comes out below human hearing)

Stevebat, you really ought to call your GM out on the T. Rex thing, assuming that was an actual ruling. Dinosaurs are animals, anything that says "animal" includes dinosaurs. And for a 16th level druid, Tyrannosaurus is indeed on the companion list.

edited 13th Apr '11 1:45:27 AM by Ezekiel

11. My Bard is not allowed to manipulate the gods.

12. My Bard is not allowed to convince gullible clerics that he is a god.

13. My Bard is not allowed to convince gullible gods that he is a god.

14. Not allowed to use amplify sound and then sing to collapse the support pillars of the big bad's base.

14a. Not allowed to use the sonic spell to do that either.

15. Not allowed to divert a river in order to flood the big bad's base.

16. I cannot ever have a pirate ship.

17. I cannot convince the big bad that I'm actually one of his minions in disguise.

edited 14th Apr '11 5:32:35 AM by Azreal341

1.) I am no longer allowed to use Buddha's Palm on a horse to make it move.

2.) I am no longer allowed to drop from a height and use Iron Fist or any powerful monk ability on or within a mile of anything magical or explosive or both.

3.) Turning someone into charcoal is an evil act even if the arena heals everyone after the fight.

4.) It doesn't matter if it makes no sense water does not conduct electricity no matter how much you cast lightning bolt in the water.

1. Rolling a 1 on a Stealth check is not an excuse to start singing With Catlike Tread.

1b. This is excepted for Gamma World, where it is an excuse.

2. Alchemical bombs are not to be made using pillowcases.

edited 14th Apr '11 8:44:07 PM by Bindlestick

• When the party encounters a bottomless pit, my character will not read aloud his list of "names that sound like they could possibly belong to a demon" just to see if anything interesting will happen.
• Even if the entire group are classic rock fans, wasting a high-level transmutation spell on a zeppelin is both unfunny and probably tragic for all involved.
• "Grethnorg the spleen cleaver" was an appropriate name for my first half-orc barbarian.
  • It was also funny the first time I used the name for a gnome bard.
• If my orc bard fails a perform roll, he does not "need more jugga."
• If the pizza guy shows up and I'm short a few dollars, I will ask the other players to chip in, not tell him to "roll inish, bitch."
• Playing a character with multiple heads does not grant me additional spells per day.
• No matter how high my character's Healing Factor, I will use the stairs as they are intended to be used.

But does he need more jigga or wugga?

No matter how hilarious it would be, Spartacus cannot be my character's first name, last name, AND proffession.

Most likely, but palm muting and pinch harmonics are beyond the comprehension of most creatures with both CHA and INT penalties.

You have just given me my next World Of Darkness character.

Say Everybody Dance Now! with an buffed Intimidate roll.

Even if the rules allow for it by passing enough BOD checks; my ComStar ROM assassin is never allowed to have 1/3rd of his blood consist of combat stims ever again.

I do not have traces of blood in my potion system.

6. Can't Wish the whole plot was somebody else's problem.

• If we are doing a game over the phone/Skype, the GM is the only person with any reason to ask, "what are you wearing?"
• Even if I can do an additional 1d12 with improvised weapons, my drunken master will not wield the gnome in a pinch.
• If I ever jump naked into a gelatinous cube with a pair of jumper cables again, the GM my patron god has every right to revoke my elemental immunities.
  • Come to think of it, the GM should likely Retcon dwarven jumper cables out of existence.
  • Or at least not allow dwarves to treat them as martial weapons.
• Regardless of how much gold I have, there is an upper limit to the number of gerbils a small rural village can acquire on short notice.
• If my mage intends to challenge a ticket in court, sentient parking meters are not appropriate witnesses.
• I can't create a Gangrel with the "chronic nosepicking" flaw, even if I'm just trying to "create dramatic tension."
  • In fact, I'm limited to flaws listed in the actual book from now on.

Oh that is so overreacting. In a Vampire The Masquerade game I finished off an infernalist methuselah by hitting him with a well placed gangrel.

...what the fuck do you want that many gerbils for?

edited 16th Apr '11 11:36:44 AM by GlennMagusHarvey

Cannot fling my animal companion out of a sack with a cry of "ANGRY RACCOON, I CHOOSE YOU!"

7. The "True Believer" feat does not mean I now worship Stan Lee.

Made these using the Travestificator, so they may not make much sense. And they don't really count, but, they're funny.

241. Casual Fridays for golems.
27. I cannot carry 100lbs of super power.
297. I will not slaughter with a barrel.
1129. I will keep reincarnating the X-Men.

edited 18th Apr '11 5:46:23 AM by Vorthon

18. Flaming Dwarfen Barbarians do not count as seige ammo. It doesn't matter how much fire resistance and damage reduction he has.

9. The Windswept Depths of Pandemonium are not a suitable place for an extended vacation.
10. Neither is any layer of the Abyss.
11. Ditto for The Infernal Battlefield of Acheron.

edited 18th Apr '11 6:02:54 AM by Vorthon

Malfeas is not interested in buying exfoliating handcream.

I am not allowed to play a neutral evil tank and force the goody-two-shoes party to cut me in for a triple share or else I tell them to sod off.

• 1. Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies is not a valid mage spell
  • 1A. Neither is YOU JUST PLAIN *******ING LOSE.
• 2. gnomes are not chairs.
• 3. I cannot pickpocket the macguffin from the Final Boss (or equivalent thereof) and then sneak away.
  • 3A. No matter how many points in hide/move silently I have
• 4. As a bard I am banned from drinking potions of glibness.
• 5. I am not allowed to shoot a fireball at point blank (Party agreed rule)
• 6. I am not allowed to mount a dragon like a bucking bronto.

edited 18th Apr '11 12:46:12 PM by stevebat