Waxing Lyrical / Radio

• A very common gag in Milton Jones's shows; particular highlights include "Is this a photo of you with R.E.M.?" "Yes, that's me in the corner" and this gem:
  I had a Siamese twin, you see, but we were separated a couple of months before I went onto the comedy circuit. In fact, he earned a little money from doing this really bad impressions of me, but then he became an astronaut. I saw him again recently. He asked me how I'd been. I said, well, at first I was afraid, I was petrified, thought that I could never live without you... by my side. But I spent so many nights, thinking how you did me wrong, and I grew strong... So now you're back. From outer space.
  • Another joke by him combines this with Hypocritical Humor: "I'd like to see a world without plagiarism. You may say I'm a dreamer... but I'm not the only one."
• Absolute Power (BBC):
  • In the first episode Sandy is accused of taking the petty cash and stormed out. When they find out it was really stolen by the chairman of the Conservative Party and she returns, Charles greets her with "Ah, Sandy. You came and you gave without taking, but we sent you away."
  • In episode 2 of season 3, Charles declares He's Back! after being lovesick with "I'm reviewing the situation, I'm a bad 'un, and a bad 'un I shall stay."
• When Pip Bin, Mr. Gently Benevolent, and Harry Biscuit are in space in Bleak Expectations, Harry keeps quoting "Space Oddity". When he thinks Pippa is leaving him for Mr. Benevolent (again), he does the first few lines of "I Will Survive".
  • Also, His Majesty King George the Fourth's armada, including H.M.S. War, H.M.S. Huh, H.M.S. What Is It Good For?, and H.M.S. Absolutely Nothing.
• Cabin Pressure: One episode's cold open has Douglas using the intercom to let him fly them to the moon, and telling them if they look out the windows they'll see what summer's like on Jupiter. Martin, meanwhile, skips the waxing and instead just sings "Come Fly With Me".
• Happens occasionally on The Now Show; one particular example came when the audience question was "Who would you give an honour too?" and someone wrote, "I would give a KBE to Shalamar, to make him a knight to remember." (Hugh: "I think I was far away enough from the actual tune there that we don't have to pay royalties.")
  • In the first episode of the 2010 election special series, The Vote Now Show, they looked at the various government inspectors the Conservatives would abolish, including one who checks premises for illegal performing animals. The conversation between the inspector and a suspect quickly becomes "Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear".
    • The second-to-last episode of The Vote Now Show, in what became a mini-Running Gag:
      Jon Holmes: I believe that the children are our future. Treat them well and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they possess inside...
      Steve Punt: Jon, has someone bet you that you can't get the lyrics to a Whitney Houston song into tonight's show?
      Jon Holmes: Yes. Mitch Benn has, and he now owes me five pounds.
  • Lloyd Langford on the failure of a Lib Dem peer to apologise for alleged sex offences: "It's sad, so sad, it's a sad, sad situation, and it's getting more and more absurd, but for Lord Rennard, 'sorry' seems to be the hardest word".
  • Steve Punt on the badger culls "Brian May is protesting again, in camouflage gear. He's got mud on his face, and he's waving his banner all over the place."
• I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue:
  • There's a round based on this. For instance, the following dialogue between Graeme Garden (as a doctor) and Barry Cryer (as his patient):
    Barry: I hope you won't want to give me a jab, because I'm terrified of needles.
    Graeme: (contemptuous) Baby. Take off your coat. Real slow.
    Barry: But it hurts when I move my arms.
    Graeme: Baby. Take off your shoes.
    Barry: I can't bend over, it hurts...
    Graeme: (irritated) I'll help you take off your shoes. Baby. Take off your dress.
    Barry: Now, I can explain about the dress...
    Graeme: (dismissively) Yes, yes, yes.
    Barry : Doctor, do you want me to undress completely?
    Graeme: You Can Leave Your Hat On.
  • If one of the teams is putting on an Italian accent for 86 Chicken Cross Lane (a game in which they construct a letter from a historic personage word by word), it will inevitably morph into "Shaddap You Face".
• The original radio version of Dead Ringers uses the same gag as the TV version, only with Radio 4 newsreader Charlotte Greene: "I'm Charlotte Greene. Say it loud and there's music playing, say it soft and it's almost like praying. More on that story later."
• In Old Harry's Game Olympic Special, Thomas finds himself trying to comfort Marilyn Monroe.
  Marilyn: Where did I go wrong?
  Thomas: Well ... Norma Jean ... It seems to me ... you lived your life ... like a candle, in the wind. Never knowing who to cling to ... when the rain set in...
  Marilyn: Candles can't cling.
• The title character of Lenin of the Rovers, Russian footballer Ricky Lenin, does this quite often.
  Ricky: Look, Ray, I don't care too much for money. Because, you know, money can't buy me love.
  ...
  Ricky: Terry! Don't be a hero! Don't be a fool with your life!
  • Eventually, the rest of the cast starts joining in.
    Ricky: Hey, that's neat. That's neat. That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat.
    Terry Trotsky and Stevie Stalin: I really love your tiger feet.
• Big Finish Doctor Who:
  • A number of The Beatles titles are buried in the dialogue of Fanfare for the Common Men.
  • In Paradise 5, a man who has spent much of the episode terrified of a Serpent lurking in a VR suite reacts to the Serpent's actual appearance by exclaiming "What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster?"
• In the Radio 4 serial I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General, George Grossmith, having been given a dressing down by W. S. Gilbert for overacting in his role as Sir Joseph in H.M.S. Pinafore tells Arthur Sullivan it's to make up for his singing. Sullivan assures him neither of them has ever had any criticism of his singing. Grossmith asks "What, never?" and Sullivan, of course, replies "Hardly ever." It's later established that the line has already become a Memetic Mutation.
• In an episode of The Infinite Monkey Cage about microbes, planetary scientist Professor Monica Grady, discussing the search for micro-organisms on Mars, mentions the theory that Earth might have been "seeded" by ancient Martian life.
  Robin Ince: Do we know what the chances of anything coming from Mars are?
  Monica Grady: I think they're about a million to one.
• In the spoof detective series The Casebook of Max and Ivan, the villain of the episode "New Year's Evil" has a complicated plan to poison New Year's revellers at her nightclub, having tricked them into signing new wills in her favour, then torching the building for the insurance. Max's reaction is "It's murder on the dancefloor? You're going to burn this goddamn house right down?"
• Sometimes used in the university quiz The Third Degree, if the episode's university has a singer as a notable alumnus and they want to work in a reference. For instance, Season 12, Episode 2, coming from Leeds Becket University, had several references to the Kaiser Chiefs (especially as the theme tune happens to be the instrumental from "Ruby"):
  Steve Punt: Our first round is general knowledge. You work in teams, two points for a correct answer, one point for a bonus, and if neither team can get it, then I predict a riot.

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