Unpronounceable words in live-action TV.
- At the time Yugoslavia degenerated into chaos and civil war, a British TV comedy show parodied the style of televised appeals for charitable help. Its advert drew attention to the one thing the former Yugoslavian states clearly lacked and desperately needed. To background film of the letters from many Scrabble sets being poured into a heap, the solemn alpha-male voiceover declared Vowels. Yugoslavia needs your vowels. The scene then cut to text and road-signs showing consonant-heavy Serbian and Croatian script, with the voiceover making a hash of pronouncing them, and speculation on how much easier it would be if these vowel-poor people got an emergency supply of those missing letters. So send all the vowels you can spare to... and £5 buys a Scrabble set... note
- The Shadows in Babylon 5 do not call themselves "The Shadows". Their own name for themselves is "ten thousand letters long" and unpronounceable by humans.
- On Barney Miller, newcomers to the squadroom are often stopped in their tracks when they encounter the name plate for Sgt. Wojciehowicz — he most often gets called "WOJ-ni-witz" and other unlikely variations. His occasional exasperated complaint that it sounds just like it's spelled doesn't help. (His workmates generally call him Wojo, although all can and do pronounce his last name correctly when necessary.)
- Used as in-universe plot device with German "Bernd das Brot", in the parody "Berndi Broter". It features Lord Vol...eh, The Lord Whose Name Nobody Can Speak.The Lord: Any last words before I kill you?
Bernd: Actually, yes. Why are you called "The Lord Whose Name Nobody Can Speak"?
The Lord: Well, it IS actually very hard to pronounce. Not for me, of course, after all I can speak my own name, eh? It's Lord Voltschimpeditsch… no, wait, that didn't come over good...Voltzmpdetzsch... The Lord tries it a few times in ever rising frustration and anger, breaks his magic wand in a moment of fffuuu and dies on the spot. - Early in Bewitched, while Darren is still trying to be polite to Endora, he asks her what her last name is. She flatly replies, "Forget it, you'll never be able to pronounce it."
- A Bit of Fry and Laurie:
- In one sketch
, Laurie's character gives his name to a policeman as Derek followed by the sound of a small object being dropped onto a countertop, which is spelled "Nippl-e" (not "nipple"). Hilarity Ensues. - And when the name of the street on which he lives is pronounced by doing a brief tap-dancing routine before proceeding to slap the policeman across the face? Even more Hilarity Ensues.
- In one sketch
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- Xander and Spike are tracking a demon that's poisoned Buffy when it suddenly leaps out at them.
Spike: Oh, balls! You didn't say the thing was a Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik.
Xander: That's 'cause I can't say Glarma— (demon hits him)- The Whistler claims his real name is hard to pronounce unless you're a dolphin.
- In Angel, Jasmine's real name, when finally heard, is essentially a moaning scream from the decapitated Keeper of the Name, the only being who knows (and can pronounce) her true name. Correctly pronouncing her name causes Jasmine's influence over humanity to evaporate.
- Parodied on The Daily Show when Samantha Bee gives Al-Jazeera a makeover. Because she can't even understand Ghida Fakhry's name, after the American friendly rebrand, she becomes "Peppermint Gomez".
- According to Jon Stewart, 'Ahmadinejad' is Farsi for 'unpronounceable'. According to Stephen Colbert, that's not his name.
- Colbert's Running Gag of inserting different words into "Ahmadinejad" began in this episode when he simply pronounced it without fanfare the first time, then apologized for failing to follow the accepted journalistic protocol of making a huge deal out of how unpronounceable it is and promised never to say it right again."Oh, Lord, help me! Help me get my mouth around this crazy name!"
- Colbert's Running Gag of inserting different words into "Ahmadinejad" began in this episode
- This toss takes it to the extreme.
- An earlier segment that likewise forced Stephen to wrestle with difficult names ended up subverting this amusingly:Jon: I can't believe he got out "Barzan Ibrahim Hasan al-Tikriti" and "Abd al-Baqi abd al-Karim Abdallah al-Sadun" and then tripped on the word "urn."
- An earlier segment
- There's also his hilarious attempts to pronounce ex-Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's name. It tends to come out as "Rod Blah-GOOJEWHOSYWATSIT" or something.
- According to Jon Stewart, 'Ahmadinejad' is Farsi for 'unpronounceable'. According to Stephen Colbert, that's not his name.
- The Day Today expanded the name of real-life reporter Brian Hanrahan for the character Peter O'Hanraha-Hanrahan.
- Doctor Who:
- The Doctor in the Classic series (particularly the Fourth) dropped somewhat inconsistent hints that his real name is unpronounceable by humans (which makes more sense, given his abbreviation of "Romana" for Romanadvoratrelundar). The new series, however, has River Song (a human, basically) whisper his name in his ear to prove that she would one day become extremely important to him, disproving this.
- In "The Abominable Snowmen", Jamie has real difficulty saying "Padmasambhava", calling him things like "Padme-whatsit".
- In "The Leisure Hive", the insectoid Foamasi ambassador speaks a language composed of clicks and chirps, and his name is more of the same.
- Russell T Davies also has a love for this trope — the two most egregious examples being:
- Blon Fel Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius. Getting the planet's name right became a Running Gag.
- The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe. This one so stumped Simon Pegg the one time he had to say it that he was told to just say it the best he could and a roaring sound was added in post-production to cover his very minor mispronunciation.
- Subverted in "Love and Monsters": the Abzorbaloff hails from Raxacoricofallapatorius' twin planet... Clom.
- In "The Doctor's Wife", the passcode to access one of the TARDIS' control rooms is, quite literally, unpronounceable. It's telepathically based, and you have to think the concepts, which are "Crimson", "11", "Delight", and "Petrichor (the smell of dust after rain)".
- In Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, teasing the names of the characters is a Running Gag through both the web series and TV series, but apparently it wouldn't do us any good if they did tell us; Duck Guy's real name is spelled "⪽|⬝̲̅". And a lesser degree, Yellow Guy's real name takes a full twelve seconds of frantically mashing the keyboard (and has a hyphen somewhere).
- Farscape
- Pilot's native language is so complex that one sentence can convey hundreds of ideas. The Translator Microbes can't keep up unless he carefully dumbs down his speech for others. This is probably why we never learn his real name.
- And let's not forget all the alien names that have to be shortened for John: Joolushko Tunai Fenta Hovalis (Jool), Utu Noranti Pralatong (Noranti), Sikozu Svala Shanti Sugaysi Shanu (Sikozu). While these names are all technically pronounceable, they are pretty complex.
- In "The Peacekeeper Wars", the name Aeryn originally wanted to give to her and John's child sounded pretty much like a loud belch, while yawning. Not entirely sure if she's trolling him, John asks if that name is suitable for a boy or girl, and she says either applies.
- The Fast Show featured a spoof of The Untouchables called "The Unpronounceables", in which both the mobsters and "good guys" struggle with each other's long and complicated names. And the acronyms of various law enforcement agencies. Like pronouncing the NYPD as a phonetic word (kinda like "Nippud") and only breaking into triumphant cheering once one of the mobsters asked how it was spelled.
- In Game of Thrones, the Spice King does not give his name, saying that it's long and unpronounceable to foreigners.
- Tyrion and Bronn struggle with the name of archmaester Ch'Vyalthan, the author of "An History of the Great Sieges of Westeros".
- Hikonin Sentai Akibaranger seems to be toying with this, giving names like Shibuyaseitakaawadachisouhidenagaaburamushi to the Monster of the Week, and a villain whose name is written as "©Na"(subverted in that it's pronounced Marushina/ Malseena).
- Keeping Up Appearances:
- Hyacinth's father had a female friend with a Polish surname that none of the other characters knew how to pronounce. However, this was solely due to Polish spelling; the actual pronunciation was approximately 'Zoey'.
- There was an episode in which Rose was engaged to a Polish man whose name baffled all the characters (and was never seen on-screen), so they all just called him "Mr. Whats-it".
- Inverted in a Kids in the Hall sketch, where Dave's character has constant trouble pronouncing Kevin's character's common English surname.Dave: At the request of Mr. Gar- Gahar- Gaharglegar...
Kevin: Jackson! How can you mispronounce Jackson? - The episode of Lost titled "?" Consensus seems to mostly believe it's pronounced "question mark".
- In The Middleman episode "The Flying Fish Zombification", an energy drink is named "!!!!", which you pronounce by stomping your right foot, doing "jazz hands" and grinning. The characters then proceed to use the name through an entire scene (and occasionally throughout the rest of the episode) as if it were an ordinary name.
- Monty Python's Flying Circus:
- Mr. Tarquin fim-tim-lim-bim-win-bim-lim-bus-stop-f'tang-f'tang-olé-biscuitbarrel. His name was later adopted by a real life political candidate.
- The Very Silly candidate from Harpenden, whose name includes all manner of sound effects, including a whistle and a gunshot:
Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, which goes 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mannering (hoot, 'whoop') Smith.- Why is it the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dangle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker -thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser -kürstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -eine -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mit -zweimache -luber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker -kalbsfleisch -mittler -raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
- The Knights Who Say Icky-cky-icky-icky-kapang-zoop-boing?
- On the NBC 75th Anniversary Special, Mr. T was giving the list of "fools" that he pitied. He finally said "That chick from Providence" when he was unable to pronounce Melina Kanakaredes' name.
- The second episode of The Newsroom had Will trying a more hands-on approach with his staff, starting with learning everyone's name:Will: I was up half the night learning to pronounce 'Calinalsia Zebrezniak'.
Don: Callie doesn't work here anymore.
Will: Dianastasia Jorma?
Don: Nope.
Will: Muhammad al Muhammad al Muhammad bin Bazir?
Don: Went to Fox. - On Resident Alien, the alien that adopts the form of Harry Vanderspeigle manages to get by as a Hugh Mann until the eighth episode when an injury causes his true form to partially show through to Asta Twelvetrees. He is forced to reveal that he is an alien. When she asks for his true name, he makes a series of noises which she doesn't even try to pronounce and decides it's better if they just stick with "Harry."
- The mermaid in Sanctuary has a name, but Will and Henry consider it unpronounceable, and have instead christened her Sally.
- Stargate SG-1':
- The Zat'nik'tel (a kind of stun gun). Lampshaded a few times in the series, it's usually just called "Zat" or "Zat gun".Maj. Thornberg: What was the weapon you used?
Col. O'Neill: ... Well, it's hard to say.
Maj. Thornberg: Some sort of state secret?
Col. O'Neill: No, just difficult to pronounce. - The fact that many Goa'uld (alien) terms are hard to pronounce or are very/overly long is lampshaded in the Season 3 episode "Deadman Switch":O'Neill: So, Teal'c, how does one Goa'uld fire weapons from several directions?
Teal'c: Taks.
O'Neill: Tak'nik'tels?
Teal'c: [very fast] Takunitagaminituron. [pause] Taks.
- The Zat'nik'tel (a kind of stun gun). Lampshaded a few times in the series, it's usually just called "Zat" or "Zat gun".
- In one episode of Star Trek: The Original Series, Spock claimed that his family name was unpronounceable by humans; in a different episode, his human mother said she could do so, but only "after a fashion, and after many years of practice". (The actress who played his mother, however, once told conventioneers that "Spock" was his surname. His real first name? Harold. OK, he's half-human.)
- Story editor D.C. Fontana wrote a letter to a Trek fanzine saying that an English approximation of Spock's family name was "Xtmprsqzntwlfb", and much early fanfic ran with it.
- In Star Trek: The Motion Picture, the Vulcan Master — speaking in the Vulcan language — pronounces his name as "Spoch" (with a long "o" followed by the "ch" sound in "chutzpah"). Maybe when Spock told Kirk that "you wouldn't be able to pronounce it", he meant that Iowa-born Kirk never learned how to make a "ch" sound properly.
- Another Star Trek example, in Star Trek: Enterprise its stated that the names of Xindi Insectoids get longer as they age, making them harder to pronounce.
- And in Star Trek: The Next Generation, we have The Traveler. His real name cannot be pronounced by humans.
- In Star Trek: Voyager, Ensign Samantha Wildman considers naming her Half-Human Hybrid child after her Ktarian husband. Unfortunately his name is Greskrendtregk. The girl ends up named Naomi.
- In the late 1970s there was an American comedy series called "Szysznyk", starring Ned Beatty as a teacher named Nick Szysznyk, pronounced "Shiz-nik". The running joke was that no one could pronounce his name.
- That might be how English speakers pronounce it but it's quite different in its native language. To understand, scroll down to Real Life and check out the entry for Polish surnames. Specifically, the difference between "sz" and "ś".
- We have yet to actually hear or see Stiles' first name in Teen Wolf. Apparently, no one but his dad (maybe) can pronounce it, which is why he goes by Stiles (a sort-of shortened version of his last name, Stilinski.) Two characters have so far seen his name in print (the lacrosse Coach, and the doctor about to give him an MRI), and neither have had a clue how to say it.
- In That '70s Show, Fez's real name is unpronounceable — that's why everyone calls him Fez. (Apparently it's actually "Fes", which stands for "Foreign Exchange Student".)
- That's So Raven had Raven hiring a pair of child models from Africa with long and complicated first names. As for their last name, everyone simply referred to it as "Unpronounceable".
- This is why Nestov on Tracker (2001) gave himself that name when he was arrested. He said it sounded better than his long, hard to pronounce Dessarian name.
- Canadian comedy team Wayne and Shuster did a skit on their show about a Private Detective in Ancient Rome hired by Brutus to investigate the murder of "Big Julie." Early on, the detective monologued, "My license number is 'IXIVLLCCDIXMV'. Also comes in handy as an eye chart. If you can read it, you don't need glasses. If you can pronounce it, you're Polish."
- The Wire gives us Roland Pryzbylewski, referred to as either "Prez" or "Prezbo".
- The funniest thing? His surname was misspelled somewhere up the family tree, the correct Polish spelling is "Przybylewski".
- Deconstructed on The Young Ones, when a midget demon complains that his name ("Ftumsh") is something that nobody ever says even by accident, meaning he's never summoned to Earth.
