To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality, simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by the number of applicable rows (at this point, 13 or fewer). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here. For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness.
Example Cast:
Series or Film NameDescription of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.
- Character A:
- Row 1: Value 5-1
- Row 2: Value 5-1
- Row 3: Value 5-1
- Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
- Character B:
- Row 1: Value 5-1
- Row 2: Value 5-1
- Row 3: Value 5-1
- Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
- Character C:
- Row 1: Value 5-1
- Row 2: Value 5-1
- Row 3: Value 5-1
- Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
- Character A: Toph
- Row 1: Age: Toph's just a little kid! So, 1.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Despite that accidental kiss with Suki, Toph is pretty straight, lusting after Sokka a few times. 3.
- Row 3: Role: Falls anywhere from Loner to Plucky Comic Relief to The Lancer. I suppose I'll go ahead and give her a 3.
- Row 4: Aesthetics: Katara called her "pretty" once, but as far as looks go, she doesn't compare to the show's more beautiful characters. Her appearance on the whole is pretty average. 3.
- Row 5: Personality: Starts out rough around the edges, but she's nice overall. Definitely a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3.
- Row 6: Flaws: Well, she's blind. Not Blind Without 'Em, just blind. I suppose that still counts as a 3.
- Row 7: Virtues: Action Girl all the way. A 2.
- Total divided by rows: 18/7 = 2.57. Aang's ambiguous vision aside, it looks like Toph's probably safe, though in a show that's as close as an American cartoon can get to Anyone Can Die, she might still get it. Definitely not a foregone conclusion as some would have you believe.
- Character B: Azula
- Row 1: Age: A monstrous teen to be sure. 4.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Depending on what you take "my favorite prisoner" to mean, Azula's either a Psycho Lesbian or simply someone who's bad with boys or hates people too much to love anyone. Hard to place her here, but based on "The Beach", I'll say she's reluctant and give her a 2.
- Row 3: Role: Villain all the way. 5.
- Row 4: Virtues: Nothing listed for looks, personality (she's a bitch but not a nihilist) or Flaws that really apply to her, so skipping straight to this one, and giving her Genre Savvy for 3.
- Row 5: Occupation: Military Commander, sort of. 4.
- Total divided by rows: 18/5 = 3.6, meaning she's more likely than not to meet a well-deserved end, but there's still a chance for the heroes to spare, or even reform her. Again, Nick's not afraid to bump off adult villains (Zhao) but killing off a 14-year-old girl might be beyond the pale even for them. Jet and Yue were slightly older.
- Update: Indeed, the heroes have spared her life in the end. No reforming though. It is possible, but it would most likely take an ungodly amount of therapy.
- Character C: Aang
- Row 1: Age: Again, he's a little kid. So, 1.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight or Celibate, but most likely straight, as previous Avatar Roku has shown. 3.
- Row 3: Role: Hero all the way. 1.
- Row 4: Personality: As Messainic as they come. 1.
- Row 5: Occupation: Super Hero, big time. 1.
- Total divided by rows: 7/5 = 1.4. While there's always the chance Mike and Bryan could go for a Matrix-style Messainic sacrifice, I really don't think that would happen to this brave and adorable little guy. Aang's pretty darn close to immortality if you ask me.
- Character D: Sokka
- Row 1: Age: Protagonist Teen, so 2.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight, was in love with Princess Yue, kissed Sukki so not quite Reluctant anymore, 3.
- Row 3: Role: Falls anywhere from Loner to Plucky Comic Relief to The Smart Guy to The Heart. Let's say 4.
- Row 4: Aesthetics: Not ugly, but he's far from being as good looking as many a minor character, so "Average" for 3.
- Row 5: Personality: A Deadpan Snarker and comic relif character, which are un-plotted. Still, the funny guy tends to either go first or not at all, so lets be cautious with 3.
- Row 6: Flaws: He's very skeptical, to the point of almost Arbitrary Skepticism, so that's a 5 right there.
- Row 7: Virtues: He is Genre Savvy though, so that's a 3.
- Total divided by rows: 23/7 = 3.28. ... Well, he'll hopefully outlast Azula, but it seems we've found one of the more expendable members of Team Avatar.
- Character E: Zuko
- Row 1: Age: Protagonist Teen, so 2.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight and in love with Mai, so 3.
- Row 3: Role: Not quite The Lancer, not quite a Plucky Comic Relief. Split the difference for 3.5
- Row 4: Aesthetics: Fashionably scarred for 2.
- Row 5: Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold and an atoner, let's say for 3.5.
- Row 6: Flaws: Very realistic in an idealistic series, so 4.
- Row 7: Virtues: He is Genre Savvy though, so that's a 3.
- Total divided by rows: 21/7 = for a clean 3. Seems Redemption Equals Death will be a cloud in Zuko's horizon as part of the Gaang.
- Character F: Katara
- Row 1: Age: Definitely a Protagonist Teen. 2.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation:She seems... reluctant. 2.
- Row 3: Role: Since they don't have Team Mom up there, probably The Lancer. 3.
- Row 4: Aesthetics: Not incredibly one way or the other (sensing a theme here?). 3.
- Row 5: Personality: Has some elements of Messianic Archetype, so 1.
- Row 6: Flaws: Has elements of a 5, but those don't last too long, so I'm going with a 4.
- Row 7: Virtues: Part Action Girl, part Pollyanna. 1.5
- Total divided by rows: 16.5/7= 2.36. Katara doesn't seem likely to die anytime soon. Note: This is about the only piece of news good for both Zutara and Kataang fans.
- Answers: Nope, Everybody Lives! However, it does following in the sense: Azula goes crazy, and Sokka and Zuko are the only ones injured.
Danny Phantom
- Character A: Danny Fenton/Phantom
- Row 1 – Age: Danny is 14 and is a main character. (2)
- Row 2 – Sexual Orientation: Straight. He has had a one-sided crush on Paulina, dated Valerie, and is dating Sam as of the Grand Finale and the recent comic Danny Phantom: A Glitch in Time. (3)
- Row 3 – Love Interests by Genre: Paulina is a rich bitch and a really shallow girl who Danny realized was not girlfriend material in season two. Valerie was a temporary love interest who dumped Danny to keep him safe and could be considered an action series kind of girlfriend. Sam is an action series kind of girlfriend. (3.25)
- Row 4 – Role: Hero. (1)
- Row 7 – Aesthetics: Average. In both his human form and ghost form he has the build of a lanky teenager. (3)
- Row 8 – Personality: Danny is a nerd who cracks puns. (3)
- Row 9 – Flaws: Danny can be pretty sarcastic. He can also be pretty clueless and is prone to bottling up his emotions. (4)
- Row 10 – Virtues: Aside from Sam daring him, his curiosity is a major factor in what got him to check out the Fenton Ghost Portal that gave him his powers in the first place. He can be a bit genre savvy at times and knows how to work his parent’s inventions. (4)
- Row 11 – Species: He’s at least still half human. He also refers to himself as a geek in the first episode. (3)
- Row 12 – Occupation: He is a superhero. (1)
- Row 13 – Prognosis: Danny usually has a couple PreAssKickingOneLiners up his sleeve. (3)
- Row 14 – Health: Danny has a healing factor and is pretty durable due to his half-ghost nature. (1)
- Total divided by rows: 31.25/12 = 2.6. Outside of the Bad Future (in which his human half got killed by Dark Danny shortly after the latter’s formation), Danny’s pretty safe. He is the main character and a superhero in a Nickelodeon cartoon series. He should still refrain from having himself being split with the Ghost Gauntlets.
- Character B: Sam Manson
- Row 1 – Age: She is a teenager and one of the main characters. (2)
- Row 2 – Sexual Orientation: Straight. She has dated Gregor/Elliot in one episode. She is also currently in a relationship with Danny as of the Grand Finale and the comic series Danny Phantom: A Glitch in Time. (3)
- Row 3 – Love Interests by Genre: Gregor/Elliot for one episode and he was a shallow guy who pretended to be goth in order to try to hook up with Sam. Danny is an action series hero and has been Sam’s best friend since the second grade. (2)
- Row 4 – Role: Sam seems to be a supporting protagonist. (2)
- Row 7 – Aesthetics: Average. (3)
- Row 8 – Personality: She is an Ultra-Recyclo Vegetarian, supports animal rights, and is against anti-eco-friendly trucks and policies. (1)
- Row 9 – Flaws: Sam is another character who tends to be very sarcastic. (4)
- Row 10 – Virtues: Sam is pretty knowledgeable about the occult. She was even called a “goth-geek” by Paulina in one episode. (3)
- Row 11 – Species: Fully human. (3)
- Row 12 – Occupation: The hero’s (Danny's) best friend who got a relationship upgrade to being his girlfriend. (4)
- Row 13 – Prognosis: ???
- Row 14 – Health: ???
- Total divided by rows: 27/10 = 2.7. Outside of the Bad Future, Sam’s pretty safe. She may be a main character in a Nickelodeon cartoon, but she should still probably avoid the flaming hot Nasty Sauce.
- Character C: Tucker Foley
- Row 1 – Age: Tucker is a teenager and one of the main characters. (2)
- Row 2 – Sexual Orientation: Straight. Just how many girls has Tucker tried asking out? (3)
- Row 3 – Love Interests by Genre: He’s tried to woo Valerie once or twice, who is an action series girl. He once asked Danny to overshadow a girl so he could score an easy date and Danny told him "no". He also had a one-sided crush on Paulina that did not pan out anywhere. He has also tried to ask out a bunch of background character girls to a school dance too. (3)
- Row 4 – Role: He is the Plucky Comic Relief, The Smart Guy, and a supporting protagonist. (3)
- Row 7 – Aesthetics: Average. (3)
- Row 8 – Personality: ???
- Row 9 – Flaws: Tucker wears glasses, has a crippling phobia of hospitals, is a Butt-Monkey, and is pretty sarcastic from time-to-time. (3)
- Row 10 – Virtues: Tucker is a techno-geek. (3)
- Row 11 – Species: Fully human. (3)
- Row 12 – Occupation: Tucker is the hero’s (Danny's) best friend “since forever”. (4)
- Row 13 – Prognosis: ???
- Row 14 – Health: ???
- Total divided by rows: 27/9 = 3. Outside of the Bad Future, Tucker’s safe for the most part as he is a main character in a Nickelodeon cartoon series. He should still make sure he doesn’t spill any beans that he shouldn’t and doesn’t get too close to flaming hot Nasty Sauce.
- Answers: Nope, Everybody Lives if you don't count some of the clones of Danny that Vlad made and the Bad Future where Dark Danny destroys the world. Though, Tucker's really, really pushing his luck there. He just might wind up in a hospital, again. Hopefully it's not a haunted hospital.
- Darkwing Duck
- Age: Parent - 4
- Sexual: Straight (He's dating Morgana McCawber.) - 3
- Role: Hero - 1
- Gender: Male - 3
- Personality': Very much a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. - 3
- Flaws: Takes it on the chin whenever he gets too cocky. — 2
- Virtues: Very determined. - 2
- Occupation: Superhero - 1
- Prognosis: Maybe 2? Villains have said a number of things before trying to kill him.
- Health: Made of Iron — 2
- Total: 23/10 = 2.3. It'd probably be closer to a 1. He is The Hero of a Disney series.
- Launchpad McQuack:
- Age: Single adult, but some fans debate he could qualify as being Gosalyn's second father - 3.5.
- Sexual: Straight - 3.
- Role: A number of these things; let's just say Sidekick. - 3
- Gender: Male - 3
- Personality: The Ditz - 4
- Flaws: Dumb Is Good; he's The Ditz but an extremely good-natured person - 1
- Virtues: Gentle Giant - 4
- Occupation: Hero's best friend - 4
- Prognosis: You Have No Chance to Survive? - 2
- Health: We'll just say 2. He's never seen registering many signs of injury.
- Total: 29.5/10 = 2.95. I'd say a little lower. They might succeed in killing him off, but (as mentioned under Sacrificial Lion) it would be a major thing (possibly a Heroic Sacrifice) and would run the risk of irritating the fanbase.
- Gosalyn Mallard:
- Age: Kid - 1.
- Sexual: Uh, she's a kid. We'll say straight, given that most of her Ship Tease is with her male best friend. - 3
- Role: Um...Lancer - 2.
- Gender: an Action Girl in training - 1
- Personality: Bratty Half-Pint, which presumably goes in the same spot as Jerk with a Heart of Gold - 3
- Flaws: Very smart-alecky - 4
- Virtues: Curiosity or pragmatism? - 5
- Occupation: Um, competent secondary female or Lancer? - 5
- Prognosis: You Have No Chance to Survive? - 2
- Health: We'll just say Made of Iron. She's virtually never seen injured. - 2
- Total: 28/10 = 2.8. (Almost average) Not likely. (Kid Hero + Improbable Infant Survival)Appearance in a kid's cartoon series = Next to no chance of being killed off.
- Honker Muddlefoot:
- Age: Kid - 1
- Sexual: He's a kid. We'll say straight, as most of his Ship Tease is with Gosalyn. - 3
- Role: The Smart Guy - 4
- Gender: The Feminine Boy to Gosalyn's Masculine Girl. - 4
- Personality: Shy and smart. Probably closest to nerd. - 3
- Flaws: As part of his nerdiness, he wears glasses. - 3
- Virtues: Definitely smart. - 3
- Occupation: Um...(Kid) Hero's best friend? - 4
- Prognosis: Let's go with the same as the others. (He's usually with them.) - 2
- Health: Um...Made of Iron? (He's certainly been through more than the average child.) - 2
- Total: 29/10 = 2.9. If he were older, possibly, but I think Improbable Infant Survival counts for enough that he's fairly safe.
- Character A: Bender
- Row 1: Age: Single adult. 3.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3.
- Row 4: Role: Plucky Comedy Relief. 4.
- Row 6: Aesthetics: Average. 3.
- Row 7: Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3.
- Row 8: Flaws: Greedy, among other things. 5.
- Row 10: Species: Robot. 5.
- Row 11: Occupation: Hero's Friend. 4
- Total divided by rows: 30/8 = 3.75. Bender is in a bit of trouble, although being in Futurama probably takes some points off.
- Character B: Leela
- Row 1: Age: Single adult. 3
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
- Row 3: Love Interests: Well, she's had a few temporary ones, but there's also Fry... I'll go with temporary. 4
- Row 4: Role: ???
- Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
- Row 6: Gender: Action Girl. 1
- Row 7: Aesthetics: ???
- Row 8: Personality: ???
- Row 9: Flaws: ???
- Row 10: Virtues: Smart. 3
- Row 11: Species: Human. 3
- Row 12: Occupation: ???
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A
- Row 14: Health: ???
- Total divided by rows: 18/7 = 2.57142857143, or 2.6 if you want to be simplistic. Leela probably ain't dying.
This series has a lot of Death Fic's. Let's see how likely they really are.
- Character A: Lincoln
- Row 1: Age: Child. 1
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
- Row 3: Love Interests: N/A, since Ronnie Anne is not shy or shallow.
- Row 4: Role: Protagonist, although the show's become more of an ensemble lately. 1.5
- Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
- Row 6: Gender: Male (he's a bit sensitive and watches soap operas but I wouldn't call him effeminate) 3
- Row 7: Aesthetics: Kinda average but has white hair. Has some cute moments like teaching his little sister to read, but not a "cutie" in terms of appearance. I'll just put 2.5
- Row 8: Personality: Nerd. 3
- Row 9: Flaws: None apply
- Row 10: Virtues: Smart and determined. 2.5
- Row 11: Species: Human. 3
- Row 12: Occupation: N/A, he's just an elementary schoolboy.
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A
- Row 14: Health: N/A
- Total divided by rows: 20.5/9 = 2.27777778 (or 2.3) Sorry, Dark Fic writers, but good news everyone else— he's probably fine.
- Character B: Leni
- Row 1: Age: Protagonist teen. 2
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
- Row 3: Love Interests: N/A
- Row 4: Role: Supporting protagonist. 2
- Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
- Row 6: Gender: N/A, she's just a generic teenage girl
- Row 7: Aesthetics: The Cutie. 1
- Row 8: Personality: Hmm, all-loving heroine, innocent, and the Ditz... I'll just leave this one blank.
- Row 9: Flaws: Dumb, and it's played for laughs rather than treated as a mental handicap. 5
- Row 10: Virtues: Don't know. Is happy-go-lucky yet not quite a Pollyanna, dumb but not incredibly lucky... Just put N/A.
- Row 11: Species: Human. 3
- Row 12: Occupation: N/A, she's just a high school student who works shifts at a mall.
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A
- Row 14: Health: N/A
- Total divided by rows: 17/7 = 2.43 (approximately) — Higher than Lincoln, but she's probably fine.
- Character C: Lucy
- Row 1: Age: Kid. 1
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
- Row 3: Love Interests: Both temporary. 4
- Row 4: Role: Supporting protagonist. 2
- Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
- Row 6: Gender: While she'd probably like to be a final girl, N/A
- Row 7: Aesthetics: N/A
- Row 8: Personality: Ooh, she's a bit of a nihilist. 5
- Row 9: Flaws: N/A
- Row 10: Virtues: Quiet. 4
- Row 11: Species: Human. 3
- Row 12: Occupation: N/A
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A
- Row 14: Health: N/A
- Total divided by score: 23/8 = Approximately 2.8. Average chance of death (though probably unlikely considering the type of show it is.)
- 'Character D: Lisa
- Row 1: Age: Kid. 1
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
- Row 3: Love Interests: Shallow (as he's very similar to her). 3
- Row 4: Role: The Smart Girl. 4
- Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
- Row 6: Gender: N/A
- Row 7: Aesthetics: Well, she's a preschooler, so 1.
- Row 8: Personality: Yikes, an insufferable genius and pragmatic. 4.5
- Row 9: Flaws: Skeptical and with glasses. 3.5
- Row 10: Virtues: Smart. 3
- Row 11: Species: Human. 3
- Row 12: Occupation: Scientist with questionable ethics. 3
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A
- Row 14: Health: Survived heaps of explosions, so made of iron. 2
- Total divided by score: 32/12 = about 2.67. Average chance of death, although again unlikely when you consider the show's tone.
- 'Character A: Velma
- Row 1: Age: Protagonist teen. 2
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
- Row 3: Love Interests: Depends on the iteration, usually temporary. 4
- Row 4: Role: The Smart Girl. 4
- Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
- Row 6: Gender: N/A
- Row 7: Aesthetics: Average. 3
- Row 8: Personality: Nerd. 3
- Row 9: Flaws: Wears glasses. 3
- Row 10: Virtues: Smart. 3
- Row 11: Species: Human. 3
- Row 12: Occupation: Yikes, competent secondary female. 5
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A
- Row 14: Health: N/A
- Total divided by score: 34/11 = 3.09. Average chance
- Character A: Chilli
- Row 1: Age: Parent. 4
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
- Row 3: Love Interests: N/A, as her lover Bandit fits none of the categories.
- Row 4: Role: N/A.
- Row 5: Race: N/A because she's a dog.
- Row 6: Gender: N/A; doesn't fit any of the stereotypes.
- Row 7: Aesthetics: Average. 3
- Row 8: Personality: N/A.
- Row 9: Flaws: N/A.
- Row 10: Virtues: N/A.
- Row 11: Species: Dog. 1
- Row 12: Occupation: Competent secondary female. 4
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A.
- Row 14: Health: N/A.
- Total divided by score: 15/5 = 3. She's smack dab at average.
- Character B: Bingo
- Row 1: Age: Kid. 1
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: N/A.
- Row 3: Love Interests: N/A.
- Row 4: Role: Supporting protagonist. 2
- Row 5: Race: N/A.
- Row 6: Gender: N/A.
- Row 7: Aesthetics: Cute. 1
- Row 8: Personality: Innocent. 5
- Row 9: Flaws: N/A.
- Row 10: Virtues: N/A.
- Row 11: Species: Dog. 1
- Row 12: Occupation: N/A.
- Row 13: Prognosis: N/A.
- Row 14: Health: N/A.
- Total divided by score: 10/5 = 2. Probably safe.
