Lame Pun Reaction / Live-Action TV

Lame Pun Reactions in live-action TV.

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• Sheldon makes one to Howard on in reference to bad tasting cobbler in The Big Bang Theory.
  Howard: This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten. I mean it tastes like it was made of actual ground-up shoemaker.
  Sheldon: How clever, a pun based on the double meaning of cobbler.
• In Blackadder Goes Forth, Blackadder manages a look of unparalleled contempt while his own firing squad are providing such gems as assuring him that they aim to please.
• Blankety Blanks, a short-lived 1975 game show on ABC (not the British and Australian editions of Match Game), had contestants and celebrity team captains correctly filling in the blanks of a riddle. The words of the riddle are regularly pun-laden. Clifton Davis was given "When Mary took her sheep to get a trim, she took them to a ______ ______ ______." Clifton answered "sheep clip joint" with the utmost confidence and was dumbfounded when he was ruled wrong. The answer was revealed as "baa baa shop". The audience went into extended groans and Clifton beat his head against the wall.
• On an episode of Blockbusters, host Bill Cullen made an incredibly bad joke on the answer "rudder": "The first rudder was made in 1241, and that's very recently, because it's only 1:10 now... Boy, I knew that joke wouldn't work." After he explained the joke, the sound effects booth sounded the show's Losing Horns on him.
• Britain's Got Talent had one contestant be given the unfortunate distinction of being buzzed off before he could even perform his act thanks to one of these. He came on with a doughnut on his head, leading Piers to question what it was doing there. He responded that he'd been to the hairdresser's and had his hair done up in a bun. This lead the judges to all hit their buzzers within a second of one another, with the contestant being given three "no"'s and leaving without having done a single impression.
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
  • This exchange (among others):
    Giles: I've never actually heard of anyone attacked by a lone baseball bat before.
    Xander: Maybe it's a vampire bat. (dead silence) I'm alone on that one, huh?
  • And "Earshot" has Angel of all people say he's "dying to get rid of immortality."
  • Buffy chops a man in half and gives the expected Bond One-Liner: "He had to split", then notes that she hasn't had a good pun in a while.
    Angel: That would still be the case.
    Buffy: Hey, my kill, my wordplay.
• Community:
  • In "Cooperative Calligraphy":
    Jeff: I have a date to catch, or, should I say, a catch to date.
    Britta: Oof, I hope you just came up with that.
    (later)
    Dean Pelton: I expect to see you all at the puppy parade. Except you, Jeffrey - I know you've got a catch to date.
  • In "Remedial Chaos Theory" Shirley runs out of the room after her pies burn, and Jeff says she had a mental breakdown.
    Pierce: More like a mental-
    Jeff: Bakedown, I know, I didn't say it on purpose.
• CSI-verse:
  • CSI: Done by Grissom in "Two and a Half Deaths" in a Self-Parody of Grissom's Quips-to-Black. After finding a dead comedy actress with a rubber chicken stuffed in her mouth (it's a long, complex and hilarious story), the lab techs ask Grissom why he hasn't done a one-liner yet, suggesting "I suspect fowl play" and "This is poultry evidence." Grissom instead remarks, "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."
  • CSI: Miami: "That gives a new meaning to the term 'fried hard drive'". Cue silent stare.
  • CSI: NY: Sheldon to Danny's after they discover that was actually transporting in a victim's van was bricks of mozzarella, not cocaine as everyone originally suspected:
    Danny: If you'da told me this morning that we'd be investigating a cheese case, you know what I'da said?
    Sheldon: Please don't.
    Danny: No whey!
    Sheldon: [groans] I thought I said "don't".
• Doctor Who:
  • The Second Doctor apologized for one in "The Tomb of the Cybermen" after he fried some Cybermats.
    The Doctor: You might almost say they've had a complete metal breakdown.
    [Jamie groans]
    The Doctor: I'm so sorry, Jamie.
  • The Ninth makes an equally bad one in "The Unquiet Dead" while part of a séance:
    The Doctor: Don't antagonise her. I love a happy medium.
    Rose: I can't believe you just said that.
  • "The Runaway Bride": "And this time, it's personnel!" Cue the villains laughing, but absolutely no one else.
  • "The Unicorn and the Wasp": After the villain is defeated, the Tenth Doctor makes a horrid pun off of the title of an Agatha Christie novel.
    The Doctor: Murder at the vicar's rage.
    [Donna shoots him a Disapproving Look]
  • "Amy's Choice" has the villain do this to himself:
    Dream Lord: We've got lots of steak here this week. Get it? Lots at stake? ...are these jokes wasted on you?
  • "Can You Hear Me?": One of the villains has the ability to detach his fingers at will, and the Doctor eventually uses the detached fingers against him, making a quip about "helping hands" as she does so.
    Ryan: ...Really?
    The Doctor: Sorry, couldn't resist.
• This happens in The Flash (2014):
  Barry: [phone vibrates] Another bee attack, Folston Tech.
  Eddie: I'll see where Joe is.
  Felicity: Bee careful.
  Barry: For real?
  Felicity: Bad pun, sorry. Just don't die.
• Frasier:
  • In "Look Before You Leap", Frasier is attempting an opera song, requiring him to hit an impossibly high note, while Niles is horny due to refusing Maris' rare sexual invite despite their marriage counselor's advice.
    Niles: You know, as much as I admire your willingness to take a leap, I did warn you that you were getting into a dangerous aria. (pained laugh) Oh God, I'm using humor to mask sexual frustration. It's high school all over again.
  • From "Are You Being Served?":
    Frasier: Well, that's our show today. But before we close, I'd like to invite you all to join us here at KACL in wishing a fond farewell to our happy chef, Leo Pascale, as he bubble-wraps his crepe pan and heads south towards sunny Santa Fe. Leo, you stirred us with your passion, melted us with your charm, added spice to our lives. Now, as you whisk youself away, let's not say goodbye, but rather, "tar-tar" for now. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL 780.
    Roz: (coming into the booth, still with a nauseated expression) Well, at least you stopped short of saying, "I'll be 'fricaseeing' you."
  • Frasier's family is prone to this. In one episode, Daphne is putting on weight and falls down, prompting Frasier, Niles, and Martin to all help her up. Martin, laughing at his own wit, says, "Daphne, I just realized! It took three Cranes to lift you!" Daphne wasn't as amused as Martin was.
  • In "Dark Victory" Roz gets a package from her family from a dairy farm and talks about how they make cheese-related puns. Frasier invites her over to his father's birthday saying he doesn't like to see her upset, adding "I'm camembert it".
• In the Friends episode "The One In Vegas" Monica gets two tickets to Las Vegas so she and Chandler could go there and visit Joey, and celebrate the one-year anniversary of their relationship.
  Monica: Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
  Chandler: Do we have to?
  Monica: No.
  Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
  Monica: Oh, he just doesn't want us to go through any trouble. Think of how excited he'll be when we go out and surprise him! Plus we get to have our own, ani-Vegas-ary! A-Nevadaversary!
  Chandler: I think we should see other people.
• In March 2007, after another ill-fated pun by Ron MacLean on Coach's Corner on Hockey Night In Canada, MacLean's partner, Don Cherry, curled his lips and shook his head in disgust, a reaction that was arguably funnier than the pun MacLean had tried.
• In Home Improvement, Tim, being the Pungeon Master that he is, generates these regularly from most of the other characters. Al, especially, was known for the wide range of responses to Tim's wisecracks, from stunned silence, to a better joke of his own, to simply holding up a sign with the address to send letters to the producers.
• iCarly: Both Shay siblings are very prolific with these.
  • In "iNevel", Spencer is repairing his commissioned statue made of butter.
    Spencer: Don't worry, Mr. Toasty, soon you'll be back and butter than ever.
    [Spencer looks around the room]
    Spencer: Thank god no one heard that.
  • In "iFix A Popstar", Wade Collins is brought up on the webshow.
    Carly: One might call him... hobnoxious. [laughs]
    Sam: Ohohoho, Carly... [looks away in horror]
  • In "iQuit iCarly", as they introduce Fleck and Dave.
    Sam: Their videos are hi-larious.
    Carly: Which is the opposite of low-larious. [chuckles]
    Sam: I begged her not to say that.
    Carly: I should have listened.
• Interview with the Vampire (2022): In "The Thing Lay Still", Louis de Pointe du Lac attempts to inject some levity with a Pun when he notices that Lestat de Lioncourt's powdered wig is on the floor, but Lestat finds it rather dull. Louis concedes that being blood-starved for three days in a row means that he can't think of a better one.
  Louis: The king's hair (heir) has betrayed the king.
  Lestat: Hmm. Was that a witticism from the Duke of Gloom himself?
  Louis: Hunger's got me light-headed.
• In a Terebi-kun magazine extra episode of Kamen Rider Double, a literal Cooking Duel ensues between the main characters. While Akiko's and Ryu's entries were Double and Accel themed bowls, respectively, Shotaro's was just an overly drawn-out setup for a hard-boiled eggs pun. Cue everyone's poker face and howling wind in the background.
• Little Lunch: In "The Kiss Chasey Oval", Atticus keeps making bad olympics puns, much to Melanie's consternation:
  Atticus: And everyone went 'Ohhhh!' Because it was the 'ohhhh'-lympics!
  Melanie: Please stop.
  Atticus: I don't think I can.
• In Lucifer (2016)', a guy tries to hit on Chloe.
  Guy: Are you from Tennessee?
  Chloe: No.
  Guy:Because you're the only ten I see.
  Lucifer: Oh, you poor soul. Does that actually work?
  Guy: [ashamed] No.
  Lucifer: No, I didn't think so.
• Madam Secretary: One of Liz's staffers writes a speech on fisheries that, from the snippets we hear, seems to consist of nothing but a string of ocean-related puns. About five puns in the other staffers tell him to knock it off.
• M*A*S*H:
  • Hawkeye and B.J. were prone to these.
    Hawkeye: In fact, you might say that all of us together made up Tuttle.
    (Cut to eyeroll from Radar.)
  • That's amateur night compared to the one B.J. brought out while telling the story of Androcles and the Lion to a group of orphaned kids:
    B.J.: ...Because he was not only very kind, he was also very Gentile.
    (Hawkeye stares daggers through him.)
  • Two Marine MPs are trying to take Hawkeye into custody:
    B.J.: Hawk, have you been rotten to the Corps?
  • One time when Klinger dressed up as a nun B.J. said: "Careful, Klinger. Dressing up as a nun can be habit-forming." Hawkeye slaps B.J. with a towel.
• Modern Life Is Goodish: In one particular episode, Dave Gorman attempts to avert a reaction by forewarning the audience he will have to use the pun "fear change" later in the show. When he eventually gets to discussing the topic, namely the public's reaction to the redesigned UK pound coin, he gets the Collective Groan he expected, and complains that he gave them plenty of warning.
• Monty Python's Flying Circus:
  • In the "Art Critic" sketch, when a pretty girl enters:
    Art Critic: Oh hello there father, er confessor, professor, your honour, your grace …
    Girl: I'm not your Grace, I'm your Elsie.
    Critic: What a terrible joke!
    Girl: [crying] But it's my only line!
  • The tail end of the "Rude Chemist" sketch:
    Customer: I'd like some after shave, please.
    Chemist: Yes sir. Walk This Way, please.
    Customer: If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need after shave. [Constable comes in and arrests customer]
  • In one sketch from the episode "The War Against Pornography", competitive dancers George and Gladys (played by Terry Jones and Graham Chapman respectively) are trying to relax at home when someone knocks on the door.
    Gladys: George?
    George: Yes, Gladys?
    Gladys: There's a man at the door with a mustache.
    George: Tell him I've already got one.
    (Cue Gladys slapping George with a rolled-up newspaper)
  • After the Lumberjack Song, a Pepperpot appears and says: "Well, I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off!" This is followed by an image of an award and text scroll reading "That joke was nominated for this years Rubber Mac of Zurich Award. It came last."
• Tom Servo of Mystery Science Theater 3000 absolutely loves to bust puns out, usually attracting the ire of Crow and Joel/Mike/Jonah.
  • In the Time Chasers episode:
    Servo: Hey, that moss has taken a lichen to that tree.
    Eddie (Mike's brother): Hey! What'd I say about puns?!
    Servo: To jam them up my...
    Eddie: That's right!
  • Later, in the same episode:
    Lisa: Nick!
    Crow: I shaved this morning and got a nick.
    [Eddie punches Crow in the shoulder, knocking him out of his seat.]
  • In Future War, Crow and Mike joke about the weird cardboard box maze the scene is set in
    Crow: [cheerily] He's boxed in!
    Mike: Yeah, well I'm cardbored!
    Servo: Shut up, you two.
  • During several of the Gamera films, Crow makes either a single truly bad pun or a series of bad puns, which prompts Joel to pull off his arm and toss it across the theater. A couple of times Crow didn't learn his lesson and Joel would yank off the other arm. Gamera vs Guiron is the highlight of this, especially during the Space Gyaos vs Guiron fight; Crow makes so many puns he loses both arms, and when Guiron decapitates his opponent Crow quips "Ah, quit while you're ahead!" and Joel almost pulls him completely apart while Crow yells "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
  • In Mac and Me, when Eric dies and the aliens and other people have their hands over him to revive him, Servo quips "Hands across him Eric-a", which prompts Jonah to throw his head across the theater.
  • And, of course, there's this humdinger from Werewolf (1996):
  Servo: (as the title pops up) I dunno, you had 'em last!
  Crow: You can't say that! You're gonna get in trouble! That's a really stupid joke and I'm gonna tell Mike.

• The third part of the four-part Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation episode "Unchain My Heart" had Donatello ask Venus if she could "beat this heart" while trying to figure out what to do with the vampire Vam-Mi's heart. He remarks "Tough crowd" when the other Turtles walk away in reaction to his bad pun.
• In Brazil, a common way to punctuate terrible jokes is to play the theme for comedy show A Praça é Nossa ("The Square Is Ours"), that is well known for employing old jokes (and comedians). It also works in written form by using the lyrics ("The same square, the same bench...").
• Inverted on Parks and Recreation: One Running Gag involves Ben making some awful pun about accounting or math to Barney, the head of a local accounting firm - and Barney invariably finding it completely hilarious, to the point of inviting other employees into his office to hear it.
• QI. Frequently. When discussing the European habit of kissing cheeks and how Corsicans apparently kiss five times as a greeting:
  Stephen Fry: Can you tell me what sort of person kisses five times? 'Course I can!
  [Beat, audience groans]
  Alan Davies: ...I think you have to leave now.
  • In the "Holiday" episode, Rob Brydon talks about stamp-collecting:
    Rob: I collected stamps for a very brief period like you in my early teens and I gave it up. I just thought- I thought to myself, philately will get me nowhere.
    [pained reactions from everyone on the panel including Brydon himself, groans from the audience]
    Bill Bailey: Press the—go back in time. Go back in time.
    Rob: [pushes buzzer, which makes a glissando] I collected stamps for a period when I was a teenager and I loved it.
  • Also:
    Steven: How does a ferret build an airliner?
    Jo Brand: Really weaselly.
    ***KLAXON***
  • Sometimes the audience gets in on it:
    [The panellists are discussing methods of assisted birth operations]
    Audience Member: Inconceivable!
    Alan Davies: Right. You, out!
• Radio Enfer: After Camille makes a pun with the word "speleology" by calling Léo "Spéléo Rivard", the latter is unable to genuinely laugh at it because, seeing how he is no longer in a relationship with Camille, he doesn't feel obligated to laugh at her jokes.
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch: In the 17th episode of season 3 ("Sabrina The Teenage Writer") Sabrina writes a spy story on a magic typewriter and her characters, which mirror actual characters of the show, come to life. At one point the mirror character of Dr. Kraft (Dr. Bad) captures Harvey's character Derek (who has a habit of saying bad puns) and ties him to a buzz saw in order to kill him, and then this dialogue happens:
  Derek: There's always been an unpleasant edge to you, Dr. Bad.
  Dr. Bad: [with his hands on his ears] I am killing you, just to stop the puns.
• In The Sarah Jane Adventures, Pungeon Master Clyde is telling Jo Jones that her family should spend more time together as her grandson Santiago is feeling neglected. Otherwise "relations with Santiago might get a bit chilly." Even Clyde himself is ashamed of that pun.
• Saturday Night Live had in a Weekend Update sketch Colin Jost telling that a songwriter suing U2 had little chance "because his lawyer is working Pro Bono". An audible groan and weak laughter ensue, leading Jost to Face Palm at how his joke failed (which the audience does laugh about).
• Shooting Stars generally has Vic give one horrible joke in the show. Everybody remains stone-faced, church bells toll, the wind howls and a tumble-weed rolls by before we move on, leaving Vic sweeping into his sleeves. Then Bob tells the exact same joke and everybody laughs.
• A meta example occurs in an episode of Small Wonder where Vicky competes against a Russian wiz-kid named Vladimir Godunov. At the end of the episode, the family discovers that Vladimir is actually a robot like Vicky. His creator complains, "You couldn't leave Godunov alone." The studio audience groaned.
• The Smoking Gun Presents is replete with bad puns, often made by the celebrity panel. If one person makes a particularly egregious one other celebrities will have a Stunned Silence possibly accompanied by Chirping Crickets.
• Spaced: Mike is kicked out of the Rough Ramblers after a disastrous Eskimo roll. Tim says:
  Tim: So it wasn't so much an Eskimo roll as a case of rolling right Inuit.
  Mike: (stares)
  Tim: Inuit's another word for Eskimo.
  • While paintballing, Tim gets into a Mexican Standoff with Duane, the man his girlfriend left him for. As they stand there, Duane's mobile phone rings:
    Tim: Are you going to answer that?
    Duane: I've got an answering service.
    Tim: You've got an answer for everything.
    Duane: I cannot believe you said that.
• Stargate SG-1:
  • The show had a habit of making Who's on First? jokes using the System Lord Yu. When newcomer Dr. Elizabeth Weir first heard of Yu in "The New Order", she started to make one but Daniel Jackson cut her off, explaining that every possible variant had already been done and it wasn't funny anymore.
  • When the team first figures out that Ba'al has been cloning himself in "Insiders", they end up having to capture the whole lot and bring them back to the SGC. At one point Cam Mitchell drops this one:
    Mitchell: (to CMSgt. Harriman) Chief, we got a full count. Two strikes, three Ba'als.
    Harriman: [chuckles] Oh. That's clever, sir.
    Carter: [eye roll] He was thinking that one up the whole way home.
    Mitchell: Yeah, the whole three seconds.
• In a Running Gag on Svengoolie, whenever the Horror Host makes a particularly bad pun, he gets pelted with rubber chickens. He's taken to carrying a chicken shield for self-defense.
• In the That '70s Show episode "Holy Crap!" when Kelso wants to grow a beard:
  Fez: May I grow one too?
  Kelso: I don't know Fez, the two of us growing beards together...isn't that kinda girly?
  Fez: Well, I just figure, the more the hairier! (dead silence) Oh I'm surrounded by idiots!
  • In the episode "Ramble On" when Fez, having submitted an application for the DMV, is being interview for the position.
    Fez: Okay, but one thing that my application doesn't say, is how well I could APPLY myself to the job here.
    Interviewer: I'm going to have to ask you to stop making puns now.
  • This is a Running Gag in the show. Fez often makes puns in everyday conversation and he usually gets negative reactions from the people he's around. Especially Hyde.
• Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" on The Tonight Show typically served up plenty of puns and if the audience groaned or booed loudly enough, Carnac would place a funny curse on them in retaliation.
• In True Blood, Sookie is skeptical when Bill tells her that the vampire bar in Shreveport is called "Fangtasia". He tells her that most vampires are really old, and puns used to be the highest form of humor.
• The West Wing had this gem:
  Margaret: C.J.'s here.
  Leo: [reading] Okay.
  Margaret: Wanna hear a joke?
  Leo: [looks up] Uh, okay.
  Margaret: You know why they only eat one egg for breakfast in France?
  Leo: Why?
  Margaret: Cause in France, one egg is an oeuf. [Leo stares at her] Okay, C.J.'s here.
  Leo: [looking wary and a little frightened] Okay.
  • After C.J.'s been going on about the Dadaist surrealism of the butter Last Supper depicting butter:
  C.J.: Duchamp was the father of Dadaism.
  Toby: I know.
  C.J.: The dada of Dada.
  Toby: [Beat] ...It's like there's nothing you can do about that joke, it's coming and you just have to stand there.
  • Donna tries to warm up the crowd listening to President Bartlet recording his radio address by telling them to form a horseshoe against the wall, but "not an actual horseshoe; that takes special training as a blacksmith." The crowd doesn't laugh.
    Donna: They didn't laugh at the blacksmith joke.
    President Bartlet: That's almost hard to believe, Donna.
  • Bartlet's not immune getting that reaction either, as in the episode "Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc":
    Bartlet: What's in Jordan?
    Dr. Tolliver: Amman.
    Bartlet: You should stay here. We got Amman, a woman, little kids, the works.
    Dr. Tolliver: 131 over 84.
    Bartlet: See, that was a joke.
    Dr. Tolliver: Good one.
    Bartlet: Everybody's a critic today.
• In an episode of The Worst Witch Mildred and Enid accidentally cast a spell that causes written down numbers to multiply and spread around the entire school. Ms Hardbroom stops the spell and remarks "as for these girls, I think their number's up". She allows herself a giggle before realising that nobody else is laughing.
• In one episode of Would I Lie to You?, where James Acaster has claimed that a kid brought onto the show pranked him with cabbages in his bed and his mail multiple times and that he made the mistake of talking on the radio about it which led many of his fans to start "cabbaging" him too:
  James: I'd been cabbaged so many times, someone had started a Twitter account and was tweeting pictures of cabbages to me every day and saying stuff like, "Oi, oi, savoy." It was horrible.
  Lee: And that was just the tip of the iceberg.
  (Loud groaning from audience)
  Lee: I know, I know! But come on, cut me some slack!
  Rob: No, no.
  David: I would say that anyone who can enjoy that joke about a lettuce would have to be a sociopath.
• One episode of Yes, Prime Minister has Sir Humphrey involved in a conversation to the effect that a candidate has been waiting for quite a while to be made a bishop. Humphrey cracks, "So, 'Long time, no See.'" The person he's talking to scolds him for the pun then spends the rest of the conversation visibly struggling to keep a straight face.
• Young Blades: In "Enchanted", when D'Artagnan announces that Ramon's new love is a poetess, King Louis asks if she "has good lines", making an hourglass shape in the air. He continues to ask if everyone gets it as they all look awkward or roll their eyes.

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