One aspect of BoJack Horseman is that it's not afraid to tell some hard-but-true lessons about life.
General:
- As BoJack's troubles with the Secretariat biopic show, achieving your dream probably won't be as rosy as you envisioned — in fact, it might make you downright miserable. Which is why it's so important to not throw your loved ones under the bus to get there — you might end up Crossing the Burnt Bridge some day down the road, and it's not going to work out well for you when the consequences of your actions come back to haunt you.
- A theme that's returned to many times is that awareness of a problem and feeling contrite about it is not enough to redeem you as a person, particularly when it doesn't stop you from making the same mistakes over and over again. The show is also not shy about insinuating that redemption, as far as Hollywoo imagines it, may not be possible for some people if their victims decide that they're too far gone to accept help anymore. Best exemplified by Todd in "It's You", who sums this up to BoJack by saying "You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!"
- Suffering from mental illness will make your life harder than it should be. It's not fair, but you have to put the necessary work into improving yourself, and never stop. There is no true "endpoint" in recovery. Best said by the jogger who tries to encourage BoJack.Jogger: Every day gets a little easier. But, you gotta do it every day. That's the hard part.
- At the same time, you are not your illness. You cannot blame actions you had freewill over on your disorder, and you cannot expect people to forgive you when you apologize. It's not always fair, but it's a lesson that everyone with a mental illness has had to learn. BoJack's depression and substances abuse is an explanation for his bad behaviour, but it's not an excuse.
- The show overall has a running theme that sometimes revealing a horrifying truth can cause more consequences than keeping it quiet.
- Diane ends up ruining her life for a few months when trying to bring Hank to justice because Hollywoo is worried about the revenue that Hank brings in as a talk show host.
- Gina expressly tells BoJack that she's not going public with the story of him choking her because it would stain her career permanently; in the same episode, while it was good to expose what Henry Fondle was doing, several people lost their jobs in the scandal.
- In "Good Damage", Charlotte advises Penny not to publicly reveal the full story of what happened between her and BoJack during "Escape from L.A." because while exposing what BoJack almost did to Penny could help other people who have gone through similar ordeals, the story would also reveal Penny and Charlottes' mistakes during that episode and the two of them may not be painted in a good light as a result.
- Finally, Paige Sinclair revealing BoJack's Murder by Inaction of Sarah Lynn ends up splintering BoJack's friend group, makes him the most hated man in Hollywoo and possibly the whole world, and Hollyhock severs ties with him because it has helped her realize how toxic BoJack truly is, causing the horse to associate with horrible influences like Vance Waggoner, relapse and nearly commit suicide (although there were no consequences for Paige herself). Plus, $5 million get awarded to Sarah Lynn's abusive Stage Mom and rapist stepfather.
- Another general theme is when you write about someone's real life, you may be reawakening their trauma as a result, and not getting their consent means you've violated their trust. There is a reason that BoJack gets mad at Diane for publishing her version of his biography without consulting him; it touches all of his hot buttons and makes him look like an utter jerk. Diane in a fit of Laser-Guided Karma experiences this in "Good Damage" when she tries and fails to write her memoirs because she doesn't want to relive her abusive childhood.
- A frequent moral is just because something is held up as legal, it doesn't mean it's right. Like it or not, progress happens for a reason.
- While BoJack legally didn't do anything wrong when he tried to sleep with Charlotte's daughter Penny, the whole situation is still highly immoral and wrong, because BoJack tried to take advantage of somebody too young to realize what was good for her. It also scarred Penny once she matured and realized how messed up it was to nearly sleep with a man 33 years older than her, and Charlotte ended her relationship with BoJack permanently and threatened to kill him if he ever approached her family again because even though Penny was sober and old enough to consent and was the one coming on to him, he was still about to have sex with her high-school-aged daughter.
- Joseph, by the standards of his day, was a true family man, but his decision to lobotomize his wife because doctors at the time believed that was the best way to take care of her mental illnesses and her grief over her son's death caused much more harm than good.
- Beatrice and Butterscotch ended up trapped in a loveless marriage and abusing their son, in part because the societal view during BoJack's childhood dictated that it was wrong for a couple to divorce regardless of how unhappy they were, how much they were struggling, or how bad the arrangement was for their children.
- Two people can appear perfect for each other and still not work out. It's not because one or the other is the bad guy, but the fact that they simply don't mesh for the long-term. For example, it seems that Wanda and BoJack will be fine because they're the same age, both physically and emotionally, and the horse admits that the owl inspires him to be a better person. He becomes kinder, more selfless, and considerate of others. They end their serious relationship because BoJack ultimately cannot appreciate Wanda's kindness during a stressful situation, and Wanda cannot tolerate a loved one insulting her choice of career simply because some other television executive was mean to him. When Princess Carolyn gets away from BoJack and Vincent, she develops a serious relationship with Ralph, the epitome of Nice Guy and Understanding Boyfriend. Yet it's because Ralph is nice that they ultimately break up; Princess Carolyn is too sharky and stubborn to accept help from someone else. The final season shows Mr. Peanutbutter and Pickles' relationship disintegrating because he confesses that he cheated on her with his ex-wife, despite her efforts to remain young and fun for him, and his attempts to make a new relationship work.
- The show repeatedly shows that it is okay to cut people out of your life for the sake of your own health and wellbeing.
- Early on in the series, Diane realizes she shouldn’t keep trying to please her abusive family, especially because they show no signs of changing. She cuts ties with them as a result, and ends up all the better off for it. Then near the end of the series, Diane has an off-screen nervous breakdown after BoJack called her during his suicide attempt (when there was nothing she could have done to stop it); this, combined with his neediness towards her beforehand means she has to end their friendship for her own mental sake.
- BoJack repeatedly tries to please his abusive mother, but it does nothing except bring him emotional harm. Furthermore, Hollyhock trying to show kindness to Beatrice despite BoJack’s warnings results in her getting drugged with weight-loss pills and suffering an overdose, which is the push BoJack needs to finally wash his hands of Beatrice.
Episode Specific:
- BoJack's "troops are jerks" speech in "BoJack Hates The Troops" points out that just because someone is in the military or has served, it doesn't automatically make them heroes and that they can be jerks just like anybody else.
- The episode "The Telescope" has the message of "apologizing to someone does not automatically make everything better, especially when you're only apologizing to make yourself feel better". When BoJack visits Herb Kazazz, the former director of the show he starred in who he hasn't seen in twenty years, he tries to apologize to Herb for not threatening to quit the show after Herb was outed as gay and subsequently fired. Herb flat-out refuses to accept the apology, partially because BoJack essentially abandoned him when Herb needed him just so he could stay on the show, and partially because Herb knows that BoJack is mostly just trying to make himself feel better rather than being genuinely remorseful for his actions.
- "Live Fast, Diane Nguyen" has two.
- You don't owe anything to your family that they don't deserve. Diane was raised by a family that emotionally and verbally abused her on a daily basis and she ran away as soon as she got the chance. However, being the only one with a steady income and sense of responsibility, she has to come back to take care of her father's funeral since everyone else is too incompetent to do it, and being there harshly reminds her of the reason why she ran away in the first place.
- You can't always get closure, and whatever happened in the past can't just be wrapped up in a neat little package. All you can do is move on. Towards the end of the episode, BoJack says that Diane should just not come back if she feels bad every time she's near her family. When Diane asks if it's weird that she still wants them to be proud of her, BoJack bluntly says "yes" to that, saying that Diane deserves better than having a family full of Jerkasses approving of her.
- The way that Kelsey treats Diane— as an unpaid assistant when Diane is technically a story consultant on the "Secretariat" movie— shows that just because two independent feminists are working together doesn't mean that one will ignore the potential for abuses of power. Kelsey is a good person, but she's oblivious to the fact that she and Diane are often on the same page, and that combined with her brusque attitude makes her abrasive. Diane gets increasingly annoyed that Kelsey ignores her research about Secretariat and foists seemingly inane tasks on her. It comes to a head when Kelsey orders her to babysit her Bratty Teenage Daughter for a couple of hours, and Hilarity Ensues when the cops chase Diane and Irving for helping Todd bust out a chicken from a slaughterhouse.
- "Still Broken" revolves around Herb's funeral. While it is true that one only gets one chance at life to accomplish anything, most people die for naught, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that.
- "Hank After Dark" establishes that you have to pick your battles. Trying to do the right thing is no good when you can't actually accomplish it. Diane tries to accuse Hank without any proof that he's been abusing the women working for him. Unfortunately, most people don't believe her (with the worst of them sending her death threats), and the ones that do believe her have an incentive to not go public with the story because of how much revenue Hank earns for his companies. To top it all off, Hank asks Diane how she thought she could topple a Hollywoo pillar, and who she thinks she is. Not only does this convince her to finally back off, but she also is forced to leave the country for a while to give people time to cool down over the controversy. The message is strengthened because she got in the situation completely by accident when she offhandedly mentioned existing accusations she thought were common knowledge. While she could have backed out at any point, she insisted on doubling down and pressing the attack. In fact, when BoJack's misdeeds (especially his involvement in Sarah Lynn's death) are publically revealed by some journalists in the sixth season, the reason why the journalists in question were successful is because they took the time to gather hard evidence with sources in order to prove that the accusations against BoJack are true.
- In "Love And/Or Marriage", BoJack tells Tanisha when she's thinking of becoming a Runaway Bride that it's okay to settle for a marriage to someone who, at worst, tolerates you, because that's just as rare as finding true love. Also, if you insist on waiting for the "perfect match" like in Hollywoo movies, you'll never find that person, because there will come a point where "everybody loves you but nobody likes you" if you keep that up.
- Season 3's "It's You" throws a harsh reality in BoJack's face after a fallout with Todd that ends their friendship: no matter how much he wants to pin everything he does on his abusive parents, drinking problems, broken relationships, and traumas, ultimately, he is the only one to blame for the bad things he has done. Having a Freudian Excuse does NOT absolve him of responsibility for when his actions hurt others or even himself.
- The point of "Old Acquaintances" is even if you're the hero of your own story, you're the villain of another. PC's rivals, Vanessa Gekko and Rutabega Rabitowiz, both want to get their actor the lead role in a new movie, but while PC resorts to underhanded tactics, Rutabega and Vanessa play fairly, and both have their own reasons for wanting to succeed. By the end of the night, Rutabega and Vanessa earn their happy ending, while Princess Carolyn ends up tanking several roles for BoJack, hurting several people in the process, and ruining his chances of patching things up with Kelsey.
- Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter's portion of “What Time Is It Right Now” has the moral that sometimes, no amount of patience or listening or therapy or make-up sex can eliminate the main source of tension in a romantic relationship, even when the people in that relationship want very much for it to work. Or, more broadly, sometimes adapting and making the best of things never pays off. It just leaves you "tired of squinting".
- "The Dog Days Are Over" emphasizes that sometimes making the right decision for yourself will hurt and feel very wrong. Diane makes the mistake of going to Mr. Peanutbutter's housewarming, and she sees he's already found a rebound. This causes her to leave while Inelegant Blubbering, and spontaneously schedule a trip to Vietnam. The episode ends with her concluding that she doesn't feel whole, or happy, but she knows that she made the right decision by divorcing her husband of four years.
- "INT SUB." has the Cloud Cuckoo Lander Mary-Beth deliver it to her wife, Dr. Indira Dadyshue. She says that as a therapist, all Dr. Indira can do is create a safe space for her patients and give them advice. It's up to them if they want to take it, and they have to put in the rest of the work as part of a two-way relationship. Dr. Indira advises Diane to confront BoJack about the tape when he refuses to respect her boundaries, and she invites BoJack to become a regular patient. Diane ultimately doesn't confront BoJack about the tape recorder with his confession, and instead writes it into the script in a fit of anger, inadvertently making things worse between them and for his behavior. Is any of this Dr. Indira's fault? Maybe for telling Diane she could refer to her therapist for a reason for BoJack to give her space, but she actually behaved professionally and gave sensible advice.
- Season 6's "Good Damage" has a few:
- Don't go off your meds spontaneously. It's a good way to wreck your mental and physical health for a day, and you may risk sabotaging relationships with your loved ones while undergoing withdrawal. Guy says as much when he finds Diane mid-breakdown. He puts her to bed, tells her to take her meds, and that they'll talk when she's stable.
- As Charlotte says, putting yourself out there in the world, and putting your story out for the public to read, means that you expose yourself to criticism and judgment. This is why she tells Penny to seriously think about talking to the reporters about what nearly happened between her and BoJack because she doesn't want Penny's trauma to reawaken.
- Diane, trying to make sense of her past traumas, suffering writer's block as she tries to write her memoirs. Thinking that she cannot focus while on antidepressants, she goes off her meds, which not only doesn't help with her writer's block, she suffers a breakdown and withdrawal symptoms. Meanwhile, the middle school detective story Diane wrote on a tangent not only comes much easier to her, but she also enjoys writing the story and she's able to put some emotional distance between herself and the main character. In the end, the episode concludes that your mental health struggles and past trauma do not make you special or any deeper than anyone else around you. Sometimes, suffering has no meaning or value. It doesn’t teach lessons or build character, and it can't be redeemed through art. And needing your suffering to mean something might be what's stopping you from moving on.Diane: That means that all the damage I got isn't "good" damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could have been happy this whole time! And written books about girl detectives, and been cheerful, and popular, and had good parents! Is that what you're saying? What was it all for?!
Princess Carolyn: I... I don't know, Diane. All I know is that this book about the girl detective is fun. I liked it. I like thinking that my daughter could grow up in a world with books like that. Or if she's not a reader, a lucrative film adaptation.
Diane: When I was a little girl, I thought that everything - all the abuse and neglect - it somehow made me... special. And I decided that one day, I would write something that made little girls like me feel less alone... and if I can't write that book...
Princess Carolyn: Then...then maybe write this other book. Maybe this book does that too. (PC puts her hand on Diane's to comfort her)
Diane: Yeah?
(PC nods reassuringly)
- The second interview in "Xerox of a Xerox" reveals a timeline of BoJack's terrible behavior and awful consequences on those he hurt, with Biscuit's Braxby arguing a point about BoJack "having power over women" and makes it clear by explaining the events BoJack caused that led to Sarah Lynn's death. She at one point even points out that BoJack may not have gone into these interactions maliciously, but that harm was inflicted all the same thanks to his bad behavior. Ultimately Biscuit's point is "Just because you don't think you caused harm, or that you never intended to cause harm, your behavior has an effect on others and it's on you to not take advantage of that". BoJack's inability to accept this helps show he's still not willing to learn this lesson.
- Both interviews also go to show that just because someone publicly apologized for something they did, it doesn't absolve their behavior. BoJack felt joy after "nailing" the first interview, and reflects on it happily despite the entire discussion being about the death of his closest friend whom he helped send to the grave. After the second interview, he doesn't reflect on Biscuit's words at all, intent to instead trash-talk her to Princess Carolyn and act like she was out-of-line for stating factual evidence about BoJack's past. Public figures, no matter their profession, have an interest in public relations. Apologies to the public does not mean they actually changed.
- The finale, specifically BoJack's conversations with Diane and the other main characters, cements a couple of the show's most prevalent themes.
- Support networks are important, but people have every single right to set boundaries or cut you out of their life entirely for the sake of their own mental and emotional well-being. Not everyone is equiped or qualified to handle it. Diane realizes this.
- Going to your loved ones for support during a crisis is not a bad thing, but it can also be very stressful for them, and not everyone has the ability to handle it, or even know what to do. This is why you should always seek professional help during a crisis, and ideally when the first signs of a crisis occur. While asking for help or keeping your loved ones in the loop is not bad (you definitely shouldn't keep suicide attempts a secret), you cannot become dependent on them, especially in extreme situations like this. BoJack learns this when Diane has a nervous breakdown after he called her during his suicide attempt (when there was nothing she could have done to stop it), and she sadly has to end their friendship for her own sake.
- People may not stay in your life, but you still have impacted and changed them by being a part of their life, for better or for worse. Both of you will likely never forget that, and that's okay. Even toxic friendships should be appreciated, but also looked at realistically. Diane thanks BoJack because he made her into the person she is at the end of the series — a confident woman who is the successful author of a middle-school mystery detective book series that brings joy to many people — but makes it clear that their friendship is over because she can’t handle BoJack’s toxicity anymore. BoJack accepts Diane's decision with the implication that the two of them value the time they spent together despite all the bad times they've gone through; they spend their final moments watching the stars together.
