Here Lies Shouta's Hopes and Dreams
is a one-shot My Hero Academia fanfic by drifting_manatee.
After two of his students are caught making out in the locker room, Nezu makes Aizawa give a lecture to Class 2-A on his least favorite subject: sex education. It involves diagrams of body parts, graphic pictures of STDs, condom demonstrations, teenage hormones and the miracle of childbirth. The whole thing is a deeply traumatizing experience for everyone involved, especially Aizawa.
It has a sequel, Are You There God? It's Me, Shouta, in which Class 2-A is divided into pairs and assigned to take care of realistic robot babies for two weeks.
This fanfic provides examples of:
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Here Lies Shouta's Hopes and Dreams
- Asleep in Class: Tokoyami is asleep by the time Aizawa gets to the part of the lecture about communication in relationships.
- Despair Event Horizon: Played for Laughs—no one leaves the room before watching the video of childbirth, even though Recovery Girl gives them the option to. Aizawa thinks it's because their spirits have been broken already.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Aizawa threatens Class 2-A with house arrest until they graduate if any of them says anything even remotely inappropriate during the sex-ed lesson, especially Mineta.
- Everyone Has Standards: Mineta is the biggest pervert in the class (and possibly the entire school), but when he sees an image of a vagina covered in genital warts, he runs out of the room to throw up.
- Faint in Shock: Kaminari passes out during the childbirth video and has to be carried out of the room by Shouji.
- Green Around the Gills: Midoriya turns the same color as his hair when he sees an image of a chlamydia-infected penis.
- Interspecies Romance: Todoroki cried because Midoriya showed him a video of an orphaned duckling being adopted by a St. Bernard. He wonders if it's because of hormonal fluctuations.
- Miss Conception: Aizawa has to explain to Todoroki that he can't get a woman pregnant by peeing inside her.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Bakugou is the only one not traumatized by watching the childbirth video and asks if they can see it again. When the lunch bell rings right after he says that, Aizawa thinks that there must be a god after all.
- Porn Stash: Kaminari has an R-rated doujinshi collection under his bed which Bakugou unhelpfully brings up in the middle of class.
- Scare 'Em Straight: After watching a very graphic video of childbirth, all the Class 2-A girls decide they'll never have sex ever.
- Shout-Out:
- Ashido reminds Kaminari that listening to Smash Mouth doesn't count as studying for English.
- Kaminari does his best Squidward impression by putting a mangled condom over his nose and saying, “You can’t fool me, Plankton, I listen to public radio!”
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Why is Class 2-A getting a sex ed lesson? Because Bakugou and Kirishima got caught making out in the boys' locker room.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Mineta runs out of the classroom to throw up after seeing an image of a vagina with genital warts. Tsuyu mutters, “Guess he didn’t see any of that on PornHub.”
Are You There God? It's Me, Shouta
- Bad Liar: Sero and Mina do a very bad job of hiding that they accidentally maimed their robot baby when trying out a new super move that involved spraying Mina's acid in a wide circle.Sero: (grabs his heavily bundled baby away from Kaminari) DON’T TOUCH IT!
Kaminari: What the fuck was that?
Sero: (visibly sweating) I-it’s uh, it’s… well—
Mina: It’s nap time! We’ve, uh, we’ve carefully designed a strict sleeping plan for our beloved child that we’re really really keen for it to stick to! Right, Hanta?
Sero: Right! Speaking of, it’s, uh, it’s probably time we put it to bed now. Right, Mina?
Mina: Boy howdy, is that the time?! Gee, we’d better let our dear offspring catch up on some beauty rest. Off we goooooo! - Conspiracy Theorist: Todoroki is still hung up on his theory that Midoriya is All Might's secret lovechild.Todoroki: We should name [the robot baby] after your father.
Midoriya: Really?
Todoroki: Yes. All Might Jr. - Cool and Unusual Punishment: Anyone who doesn't take good enough care of their robot baby has to attend a month long remedial course by Recovery Girl called "Sexual Health 101".
- Delivery Stork: After the previous lecture on conception and childbirth, Todoroki asked him where storks got involved in the making of babies.
- Eating Machine: The robot babies are capable of eating and have to be regularly fed. Class 2-A is not sure how the support class managed to accomplish making them so realistic.
- Egg Sitting: Class 2-A takes care of robot babies in pairs, and it goes about as well as you might expect; Aoyama puts a chemical foot peel on his and Tenya’s baby, Tokoyami dresses up his and Shoji’s goth-style, Hagakure and Ojiro tape theirs to the wall, Ejirou pushes his and Bakugo’s down the stairs in a laundry basket, Ashido and Sero have theirs too close a new joint attack they are trying and melt theirs, and Uraraka uses her quirk on hers and Asui’s and it’s floating on a leash.
- Epic Fail: Sero and Mina are the only ones to fail the robot baby assignment because they accidentally splashed a massive amount of acid on their baby while devising a new combat move and reduced it to a sludgey, misshapen blob.
- Every Man Has His Price: Since Mineta has been suspended, Class 2-A has an uneven number of students for the robot baby project. Aizawa bribes Shinsou to join the project with extra credit to put on his application for the Hero Course.
- Groin Attack: During the sexual education lecture, Mina asked if a penis needed to be snapped like a glowstick before it could ejaculate.
- Hidden Depths: Kaminari, of all people, is really good at taking care of babies. He explains that he took up a babysitting job in middle school when he wanted money to buy some Air Jordans.
- Mundane Utility: Yaoyorozu uses her Creation Quirk to produce an elaborate baby stroller for her and Jirou's child.
- Must Have Caffeine: When Shinsou walks into 2-A's classroom and is greeted by a sea of despairing faces staring at a robot baby on Aizawa's desk, he wonders if he made a mistake drinking three espressos that morning.
- Literary Allusion Title: To Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.
- Poverty Food: Bakugou tries to outdo Yaoyorozu and her fancy stroller by using his entire allowance to buy a custom stroller with hand-painted flames on the wheels and a personalized numberplate. He can only afford to eat white rice and chili flakes for a few days afterwards.
- Ridiculously Human Robots: For Class 2-A's two-week Egg Sitting project, the support class makes robot babies that are so realistic they can cry for hours, eat, throw up, pee, and poop, much to the chagrin of the students who actually have to take care of them. Kirishima thinks it's payback for all the times they were bothered with last-minute costume adjustments.
- Shout-Out:
- Bakugou is now fascinated with the subject of childbirth and has been watching medical reality shows, including One Born Every Minute.
- In the Class 2-A group chat, Todoroki’s screen name is "Zuko," Sero’s is "Discount Spider-Man," Kirishima’s is "Knuckles," Tsuyu’s is "Kermit," and Tokoyami’s is "Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way."
- Tokoyami owns a copy of Breaking Dawn.
- Shinsou quips that he would like to use his Quirk to tell his robot baby to Go the Fuck to Sleep.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: The night before the end of the robot baby caretaking project, Sero and Mina do this in the group chat when Kaminari comments that they're being unusually quiet.Discount Spiderman: hello yes we are here all good nothing to worry about nothing untoward going on at all
alienkweeeeeeeen!!: ye here we r nothing strange nothing going on at all
Discount Spiderman: just enjoying one last night with our blessed and beautiful and whole child who is definitely in one piece
alienkweeeeeeeen!!: now plz dont contact us for the rest of the night k thanks night night
danki calamari: …
PunksNotDead: …
YaoMOMo: …
bones go brrr: …
Kermit <3: …
Uwawaka: …
Tailboi: …
Despresso: …
invisibitch: …
