Aladdin / Tropes M to R

Aladdin Trope Examples
A - D | E - L | M - R | S - Z

---

M

• Magic Carpet: One of Aladdin's sidekicks. He meets the Carpet in the Cave of Wonders, and it saves his life several times and takes Aladdin and Jasmine on their ride in "A Whole New World".
• Make a Wish: Anyone who gets ahold of the Lamp can make up to three Wishes with the Genie.
• The Makeover: The transformation from Aladdin to Prince Ali.
• Malicious Misnaming: Jafar constantly calls Prince Ali "Prince Abubu".
• Mass "Oh, Crap!": The citizens of Agrabah when Jafar has the Genie lift the palace.
• Meaningful Echo: "PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER... itty-bitty living space." Used by Genie when complaining to Aladdin about being a genie in the first place, and then used by Aladdin at the climax of the film, after tricking Jafar into using his final Genie wish to become a genie (complete with lamp) himself.
  • Also how Jasmine figured out Aladdin's ruse. "Do you trust me?" The first time he asked this when they were running away from the guards, and the second time was inviting her for a carpet ride.
• Medium Awareness: The Genie. Most notably in his many transformations and mannerisms, but also in the song "Friend Like Me" when he sings that 'Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Sheherezade had a thousand tales'; most people don't know that both "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves" and "Aladdin" were among Sheherezade's tales.
  • Also, the morning after Aladdin uses up his second wish, Genie pulls out an Aladdin screenplay and tells him it's time for the scene where he sets Genie free.
  • And, later that same day, when Jafar has the lamp:
    Genie: [after being summoned and realizing that Aladdin isn't the one summoning him, with a Playbill and Opera binoculars] Tonight, the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark, and sinister ugly man.
• Meet Cute: As soon as Aladdin sees Jasmine at the marketplace, he's instantly smitten with her.
• Merry in Minor Key:
  • "Friend Like Me" is a big band-style number in D Minor. It introduces the Genie and shows his powerful wish-making abilities, as well as his kind personality and eagerness to help Aladdin with whatever he wishes.
  • "Prince Ali" is an energetic and bombastic number in which Genie introduces Aladdin (in disguise as a wealthy and heroic prince) to the people of Agrabah. It's mostly in A Minor, with a Truck Driver's Gear Change to C Minor.
• Milestone Birthday Angst: At the beginning of the movie we learn that by law, Jasmine must be married to a prince by her next birthday^note Which according

to Word of God, is her 16th. Said birthday, according to the Sultan, is in only 3 days. To say Jasmine is displeased at being forced into an Arranged Marriage is an understatement.

• Minsky Pickup: "Prince Ali", in the last line of the introductory verse: "...are you gonna love this guy..."
• Misplaced Wildlife: Abu is a New World monkey, and Iago is a red lory◊, native to Indonesia. While it makes sense the Sultan's vizier might have access to exotic pets from far outside Arabia, that doesn't explain where a homeless teenager got a monkey. Rajah the tiger is often assumed to be this, but he actually isn't; there really were tigers in the Middle East at the time the movie takes place. Prince Ali's menagerie also contains some South American llamas, which would be hard to come by in the Middle East, though those were conjured by the Genie.
• Missing Mom:
  • Jasmine. The Sultan mentions her mother offhand, but it's not clear what happened to her.
  • Aladdin has neither a mother nor a father, which is why he lives on the street as a thief.
• Mood Whiplash: Aladdin goes from sharing a long kiss with Jasmine to being tied up and dropped into the ocean by Jafar in seconds.
• Must Make Amends: After Aladdin left behind the genie lamp, which led to Iago bringing it to Jafar, then Jafar using it to wish himself to be sultan and the world's most powerful sorcerer, Aladdin said:
  "I made a mess of everything... somehow I gotta go back and set things right."
• Mutual Envy: Aladdin is jealous that Jasmine lives in wealth, while Jasmine is jealous that Aladdin's life isn't as regimented as hers.
  Aladdin: I wonder what it'd be like to [live in the palace]; have servants, valets...
  Jasmine: ...oh, sure, people who tell you where to go and how to dress...
  Aladdin: It's better than here, where you're always scraping for food and ducking the guards.
• Mythology Gag:
  • Contains some subtle references to other stories from Arabian folktale anthology that Aladdin was loosely adapted from, Arabian Nights.
    • When Jasmine nearly figures out his lies during their date, Aladdin tries to cover by claiming he - as a prince - enjoys dressing as a commoner exploring his kingdom for the fun. This was the favorite pastime of Haroun Al Rashid whenever he appeared in the original stories.
    • When Aladdin becomes a prince, he uses the name Prince Ali. In the original stories, prince Ali was a character from a different tale, "The Three Princes". Prince Achmed, who is rejected by Jasmine in the movie, is also from that story.

N

• Named by the Adaptation: The Grand Vizier from the original tale is named Jafar. The princess did have a name in the original but it's usually lost in retellings so naming her Jasmine technically counts too. Disney wasn't actually the first to use that name - she was called Jasmine in a 50s film called Aladdin And His Lamp.
• Neck Lift: One of the guards lifts Aladdin by the neck when they break into his hideout and capture him.
• Nested Ownership: When Jasmine recognizes "Prince Ali" as the boy she met at the marketplace, Aladdin claims that it couldn't have been him because he has servants to do his shopping for him, and that those servants have servants of their own to shop for them as well.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero:
  • Abu causes the destruction of the Cave of Wonders by picking up the giant ruby and nearly gets himself, Aladdin and the Carpet killed — although on the other hand, if Aladdin had left the Cave without incident, he may very well have been killed by Jafar once he'd handed over the lamp.
  • The Genie decides to have the brilliant idea of asking Aladdin to free him while he's in the middle of an emotional crisis. Although the Genie was justified in feeling betrayed, he should've at least tried to reason with Aladdin into telling Jasmine the truth so he wouldn't need to rely on the Genie anymore; it doesn't seem like it would take much, since Aladdin decides to do just that a few moments later. Instead, the Genie goes back into his lamp, insults Aladdin, and prompts him to abandon the lamp, leaving it open for Iago to steal it.
  • This is the Genie's reaction to Aladdin telling Jafar that compared to the Genie, Jafar will always be "second-best", prompting Jafar to use his third wish to transform into an all-powerful genie. However, this was all part of Aladdin's trick, as now, Jafar is confined to a lamp per his status as a genie.
• Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: If Jafar had kept his side of the bargain and not tried to kill Aladdin when the latter was desperately trying to escape the Cave of Wonders, Aladdin and Abu wouldn't have gotten control of the lamp and Genie.
• No Celebrities Were Harmed: Aladdin's initial design was based on Michael J. Fox. His final design was based on Tom Cruise.
• No Communities Were Harmed: The location was changed from Baghdad to Agrabah, mainly due to Saddam Hussein's 1990 invasion of Kuwait and the ensuing Gulf War. The fictitious Agrabah was located somewhere near the Jordan River, and the name of Agrabah may have been a blend of Arabah and Aqaba. The Arabah Valley runs from south of the Dead Sea to the Gulf of Aqaba, and the city of Aqaba is located in the Kingdom of Jordan at the northeast corner of the Gulf of Aqaba. Part of the 2019 live-action remake was filmed in the Wadi Rum desert valley in the Kingdom of Jordan, which is about 37 miles east of Aqaba, Jordan. This may very well be a Mythology Gag reference to Agrabah being located somewhere near the Jordan River in the animated 1992 film.
• No Flow in CGI: Averted. The whole point of rendering the carpet in CGI rather than traditional animation was to allow it to have an extremely intricate design, while still flowing and moving like cloth.
• Non-Human Sidekick: Abu to Aladdin, Rajah to Jasmine, and Iago to Jafar. Genie to Aladdin also, seeing as he's not really human (as well as Carpet who is a sentient rug).
• Noodle Incident: When listing his rules, Genie states "I can't bring people back from the dead! It's not a pretty picture, I don't like doing it!!!"
• No Ontological Inertia:
  • Jafar uses his magical staff to hypnotize the Sultan. When the staff is broken by Aladdin, the hypnotic effect is instantly neutralized.
  • Genie moves the palace to higher elevation per Jafar's orders. When Jafar is defeated, the palace instantly and magically moves back to its original position. The fact that defeating Jafar reversed Genie's actions makes this case particularly absurd, especially since the Genie could have voluntarily fixed all that once he was freed.
  • The changes Jafar made using his power as a sorcerer were undone when he became a genie. The rug (which had been unraveled) was re-woven, Abu changed from a mechanical monkey back into a real one, and so on.
  • Also, based on the characters' comments Aladdin's prince wish apparently has to be recast by the end.
• NOT!: Iago uses it to describe the sultan. "Oh, excellent judge [of character], sure... NOT!"

O

• Obfuscating Insanity:
  • When he first meets Princess Jasmine, Aladdin rescues her from an irate merchant who was about to chop off her hand for taking a piece of fruit (Jasmine never having been outside the palace in her life and unfamiliar with the concept of money) by convincing him that she was not right in the head. Jasmine plays along;
    Merchant: She says she knows the Sultan!
    Aladdin: She thinks the monkey is the Sultan.
    Jasmine: (getting the hint and bowing before Abu) Oh wise Sultan! How may I serve you?
    Aladdin: (sighing) Tragic, isn't it? But, no harm done. Now come along sis, time to see the doctor.
    Jasmine: (to a nearby camel) Oh hello, Doctor. How are you?
    Aladdin: No, no, no. Not that one. Come on Sultan.
  • In the musical, crosses over with Mythology Gag, as Jasmine instead refers to a talking monkey (Abu having been cut from this version). When later asked where that came from, she replies "It just seemed right".
• Obfuscating Stupidity: Iago pretends to be a dumb parrot to everyone but Jafar for a while, but drops the façade when Jafar seizes power (and briefly forgets it in shock when Aladdin confronts Jafar after the former was nearly killed by the latter).
• Objectshifting: The climax features Abu being transformed into a Cymbal-Banging Monkey wind-up toy when Jafar unleashes his magic powers.
• Obstructive Code of Conduct: The Genie's rules:
  1. Genies can't kill anyone (so don't ask!)^note This becomes a really big plot point of The Return of Jafar.;
  2. Genies can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else^note Jafar wanted this as his last wish, and the Genie's lecture about the wish rules that he gave Aladdin leads to him getting a tongue-lashing from an irate Jafar, who confronts him up close;
  3. Genies can't or won't bring someone back from the dead (it's not a pretty picture!); and
  4. Ixnay on the Wishing for More Wishes.^note This last one is the easiest to get around as the Genie is shown doing things for Al (and Jafar) without them explicitly wishing for it (escaping the cave, moving/redecorating the palace, and plenty of minor things during "Prince Ali"). He also apparently has no 6th sense about the number of wishes his master has left as he believes Aladdin is down by one until he is corrected.
• Obviously Evil: Jafar has an untrustworthy aura about him to everyone sans the Sultan.
• Oh, Crap!: A lot of them.
  • Gazeem before he gets swallowed by the Cave of Wonders.
  • Aladdin and Abu when the Cave of Wonders is about to cave in on itself and when they see they're about to fly into a wall during their escape.
  • Aladdin when Jafar is about to give him his "eternal reward".
  • Jafar when he realizes that Abu has stolen the lamp after the Cave of Wonders closes.
  • Jafar and Iago during "Prince Ali" before the door slams on them.
  • The Genie when he discovers that Aladdin is going to drown and when he realizes that Jafar is his new master.
  • Aladdin when he realizes that Jafar stole his lamp and when the Genie lifts the palace a few seconds later.
  • The Sultan and Jasmine are utterly shocked when Jafar is transformed into an almighty sorcerer, the Sultan even more so, as his reaction is to tremble before they are magically forced to Kneel Before Zod.
  • Jafar when he gets sucked into a lamp after becoming a genie himself.
• "Oh, Crap!" Smile:
  • Abu cracks one in the opening chase scene after his Intimidation Demonstration with the sword doesn't work and the guards are drawing their swords.
  • Abu has a similar reaction when he angers the cave guardian by taking a ruby and and tries to put it back.
  • Jafar tries this, along with saying "All this can be explained" after he's discovered to be a traitor.
  • Aladdin after the sultan tells him that Aladdin will become the next sultan. It quickly turns to a look of horror and then regret.
• Oh, My Gods!: "Allah" is inserted into various expressions. The Genie also calls Aladdin "Doubting Moustaffa", which is likely a reference to "Doubting Thomas".
• The Old Convict: Jafar disguises himself as one of these in a Monte Cristo reference.
• 1-Dimensional Thinking: When Aladdin is Reassigned to Antarctica by Jafar and a broken-off tower of Agrabah palace starts rolling towards him, he could have evaded it by moving sidewards but the Rule of Cool dictated that he had to perform a By Wall That Is Holey instead.
• Only the Worthy May Pass: The "Diamond in the Rough" is the only one who can enter the Cave of Wonders.
• Opening Monologue: The Merchant at the beginning.
• Opposites Attract: Aladdin and Jasmine seem to be this at first, what with Aladdin being a street rat and Jasmine being a princess, but it turns out they're actually a lot alike.
• Orbital Kiss: Aladdin and Jasmine spin around on the magic carpet as they kiss at the end of the movie.
• Orphaned Etymology: The name "Iago" is of Spanish origin and is related to "Jacob", which makes it out of place in a medieval Arabian setting.
• Out-of-Character Alert: Jasmine was confused by Jafar's sudden overprotectiveness when he questions Prince Ali's intent of marrying her. This was after Jasmine threatened to "get rid of him" upon being queen right to his face as revenge for supposedly executing "the boy from the market". While unaware of Jafar's intention of marrying her for the throne, she was right to be suspicious.
  "Your Highness, no! I must intercede on Jasmine's behalf. This boy is no different from the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the Princess?"
• Out of Sight, Out of Mind: Although Jafar's lamp is really sent far, far away.
• Out of the Inferno: Jafar, during his final encounter with Aladdin, casually strolls into the fire ring he's trapped Al in after Aladdin calls him a "cowardly snake". This comment backfires on Aladdin immediately, as like Sephiroth, in addition to walking through fire, Jafar demonstrates his own One-Winged Angel form, a giant cobra, and gets Scaled Up, and quickly puts Aladdin on the defense.

P

• Painful Persona: Aladdin spends most of his debut film pretending to be The Ace Prince Ali Ababwa in order to make himself appear a suitable husband for Princess Jasmine, but this drives him to lie repeatedly to those he loves, especially when he finds out that, since marrying her will make him the next Sultan, he has a ton of massive responsibilities that weigh him down, making him feel that in order to maintain the pretence of royalty, he has to break his promise to use his third wish for Freeing the Genie. Ultimately, after being exposed and stripped of all his masks by Jafar, Aladdin realizes his mistake in not being honest with Jasmine and the Sultan that he was a poor street urchin from the start, and finally keeps his promise to the Genie, even if he knows there's a good chance he won't be able to marry Jasmine anymore.
  Aladdin: Jasmine, I love you, but... I've gotta stop pretending to be something I'm not!
• Panthera Awesome: The Cave of Wonders. Of all the things it could've been, it's a giant talking tiger head made of sand that eats people.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: Just a change of clothes is all it takes for people to not recognize Aladdin as Prince Ali. One would think that Jasmine, who spent quite some time with the street rat, would have noticed that the boy she met in the market was the same as this guy. It isn't until she catches him without his turban that she suspects something. To be fair, Jasmine did have legitimate reason to think Aladdin was dead.
• Parental Bonus:
  • Robin Williams is a guarantee of dialogue not aimed at children, which they only understand years later.
  • During "One Jump Ahead", Al manages to stumble into a harem. It's not easily noticeable, considering the girls are dressed almost the same as Jasmine, who is a princess, but that's what it is.
• Parenthetical Swearing: As Jafar uses his magic to send Aladdin to the ends of the earth, he sings about how Aladdin will have "his assets frozen."
• Parents Are Wrong: The sultan insists that Jasmine must marry a prince, in keeping with law and tradition. But Jasmine falls in love with Aladdin, and at the end of the movie the sultan changes the law to allow Jasmine to marry whoever she wants.
• Pet Gets the Keys: Played with. When Al is shackled in a dungeon for "kidnapping" Jasmine, Abu comes to pick open the shackle locks, but that doesn't free him from the dungeon—a disguised Jafar does, as part of his plan to get the magic lamp
• Pig Latin: Genie: "And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes!"
• Pink Is Erotic: Implied, when Jafar manages to take control of the genie and wishes to make Jasmine marry him, the waistline of her outfit changes to pink to reflect Jafar's perversion and how he plans to use her as a sex slave.
• Pinocchio Nose: Prince Ali's hat (the plume falls and covers his face whenever he lies).
  • The genie actually turns into Pinocchio with an extended nose to imply what he thought of one of Aladdin's promises.
• Politically Correct History: Subverted. While Jasmine, as a woman in ancient Arabia, wanting not to be tied down by an arranged marriage wouldn't have been quite so tolerated in Real Life, since she'd be marrying whoever Daddy chooses for political purposes and there would be no such thing as suitors, the Sultan's also a real softie and, in this time period, the father is allowed to consult the daughter's wishes even though he doesn't have to. He is well aware of this as when Jafar brings up the fact that the law says he can choose for her, the Sultan refuses because he can't bring himself to choose someone she would hate to marry. He's a loving father who wants his daughter's happiness and isn't concerned with alliances, even allowing Jasmine to marry a pauper when he realizes that the guy has won her heart, something that definitely would not have been allowed as he is far below her social status.
• Pose of Supplication: The "Prince Ali" song directly references it. Also, Sorcerer Jafar forces Jasmine and the Sultan to bow before him.
  • Also Jasmine bowing down before Abu while playing along with Aladdin's story about her being mad. "She thinks the monkey is the Sultan."
• Post-Kiss Catatonia: After his first kiss with Jasmine, Aladdin falls over backwards with a sigh, letting Carpet catch him.
• Power High: Jafar's initial reaction to becoming a genie, before the drawbacks kick in.
• Power Limiter: The Lamp. Itty bitty living space.
  • Subverted however in that, when freed, a genie has less power.
• Pragmatic Adaptation: The Broadway musical alters several parts of the story in order to translate it onto the stage easier. Iago is rewritten to be a human character instead of a talking parrot, while Abu was scrapped entirely in favor of new characters, Babkak, Omar, and Kassim (who were originally planned to appear in the film until they were ultimately removed, and in favor of Abu, no less). The story's climax was also altered: Jafar never sends Aladdin to "the ends of the Earth", nor does he use his powers to transform into a giant snake. He still uses his final wish to turn into a genie, but since it would be too difficult to create a giant genie onstage, his clothes simply turn red to signify his transformation.
• Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: "You wanted to be a genie, Jafar? You got it! And everything that goes with it! PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER... ittybittylivingspace."
• Pride: Jafar's misteep in the finale is completely in line with his greedy power-seeking character. He was already the Sultan and the most powerful sorcerer in the world as a result of his first two wishes upon capturing the Genie, and thus, virtually the master of the World, but his undoing came when Aladdin tricked him into wishing to be a genie — with everything that goes along with the package. He could probably even have avoided the last third of the movie altogether if he hadn't wasted his first wish on, essentially, stealing the Sultan's clothes - out of pride. That said, the Genie really could take away everything Jafar had with a snap of his fingers, so maybe Aladdin had a point...
• Primal Fear: Snake!Jafar.
• Prince for a Day: Aladdin's first wish is to become a prince in order to be an appropriate suitor for Jasmine.
• Production Foreshadowing:
  • A statue of a cherub appears in "A Whole New World," which would later show up in Hercules's "I Won't Say I'm In Love".
  • During the same number, the magic carpet is seen flying past the Temple of Zeus, and the scene immediately afterward has Aladdin and Jasmine at the Palace of the Emperor of China.
• Protagonist Title: The film is called Aladdin and it is about Aladdin.
• Public Domain Artifact: The Lamp.
• Pun:
  • Aladdin's line when he and Abu split the bread: He refers to himself and Abu as "effendi" which is an Arab word for a person of high social standing, but it sounds like "offendee", which - while being grammatically incorrect (an offendee is the victim, not the perpetrator) - fits with their status as thieves.
  • The Genie is full of these, but an often missed one is his asking Aladdin to wish for "The Nile". The way he says it sounds an awful lot like the old joke about denial, as in "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!" Immediately afterwards the Genie gives a Big "NO!", denying the wish, and proving his freedom.
• Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "Tell. Her. The. TRUTH!"
  • Aladdin to Abu in the Cave of Wonders: "Don't. Touch. Anything."
  • Jafar does this in the song "Prince Ali (Reprise)", complete with a zap for every emphasised word. "Say hello to your precious! Prince! Ali!"
• Pungeon Master:
  • Jafar. Especially in the final battle.
  • The Genie, meanwhile, is more of a Visual Pungeon Master.
• Puppy-Dog Eyes: The hungry street children.
• Pushed in Front of the Audience: Jasmine pushes Aladdin out to the cheering masses after her father has announced their wedding.

R

• Rags to Royalty: Deconstructed with Aladdin (and Abu), as becoming a prince doesn't solve any of his problems and arguably makes them worse.
• Reading Ahead in the Script: The Genie pulls out a copy of the movie's script and tries to feed Aladdin his next lines, which will have him use his third wish to free the Genie. Turns out, he read too far ahead.
• Red Eyes, Take Warning: The Genie when he gets angry over Aladdin's taunts in the cave. Jafar also has red irises that can be seen in his opening scenes in the movie.
• Red Sky, Take Warning: Once Jafar takes full control and becomes a sorcerer, the sky over Agrabah turns red after a brief purple phase, and it stays that way until he's defeated.
• Redundant Romance Attempt: Aladdin has already charmed Jasmine by being himself, but his "Prince Ali" persona just comes off as another Royal Brat like the ones she rejected as suitors. Note that the disguise and fake name themselves are pretty much necessary—the Sultan isn't going to let Jasmine marry a commoner, so it's justified.
• Rejected Marriage Proposal: Jasmine vigorously rejects-twice-Jafar's marriage proposal. The first time, she says no then rush to her father and tells him she wants to marry Prince Ali (Aladdin) instead. Aladdin's arrival and Jafar exposed as a traitor straight after leads to the latter having to exit the scene suddenly. The second time, Jafar took over after he stole the lamp. Despite refusing could be very dangerous for her this time, Jasmine yells this won't happen and use Food Slap to emphasize her refusal.
• Reluctant Ruler: Invoked; Aladdin becomes worried when he's told he'll become the next sultan. The only reason he's gotten this far is because of a wish, and worries what would happen if anyone learns he's not a real prince, including losing Jasmine.
• Reptiles Are Abhorrent: Snake!Jafar brings out the only significant snake imagery in the movie.
• Rescue Hug: When Aladdin leads Jasmine to his hideaway, the girl trips and falls into Aladdin's arms. Needless to say, they don't break the embrace right away.
• Rescue Introduction: Aladdin meets Princess Jasmine when rescuing her from a street vendor who she accidentally stole an apple from and her arm is nearly slashed off. Leading into a mini...
• Rescue Romance: Do you notice a pattern here? Aladdin and Jasmine first fall for each other after the rescue, and they connect further afterwards. However, while they each clearly begin to have a thing for the other, before the spark can grow Rasoul raids Aladdin's place and cuts it short before it can really start. The rest of the movie and some magical intervention is needed to continue things along.
• Revealing Reflection: Jasmine attempts to distract Jafar so Aladdin can grab Genie's Lamp, but Jafar ends up seeing Aladdin in the reflection on her tiara.
• Revised Ending: The movie had at least two alternate endings. Originally, it was supposed to end with a reprise of "Arabian Nights", which was later used in the second sequel, Aladdin and the King of Thieves. The second deleted ending starts with the reprise of "A Whole New World" as seen in the final movie, but then cuts to a sequence where the peddler from the beginning of the movie reveals himself to be the Genie. This is followed by a cruder version of the "made you look" gag from the final ending.
• Riding into the Sunset: At the end Aladdin and Jasmine ride their carpet into the Gigantic Moon who turns out to be the Genie.
• Ring of Fire: Jafar uses his Breath Weapon to create one of these to trap Aladdin in the climax. It's put out when he gets Scaled Up.
• Roofhopping: Aladdin and Jasmine perform roof-pole-vaulting.
• Rule of Three: the three wishes Genie is empowered to grant his master, and also the three rules governing the kind of wishes he can fulfill. Genie even invokes it several times while explaining them to Aladdin.
  Genie: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. (vamping as Groucho Marx) No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.

---