Line #20 Website/TlfTravelAlerts


1	[[quoteright:259:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/tlf_1000.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:259:[[RunningGag Delays]]]]
3	TLF Travel Alerts is a (now-defunct) a parody Website/{{Twitter}} account for London's public transport system, existing in a bizarre alternate world where buses and trams have WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends-like intelligence, and eldrich horrors lurk in subway tubes. [[CatchPhrase And boats. They also have boats.]]
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5	It can be found [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts here.]]
6	----
7	!!Examples of tropes include:
8	* AlienAbduction: The inevitable result of using the [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/468369647398834176 Dockland's Light Railway]].
9	* BaitAndSwitch: Claims [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/490161391182286848 is hot enough]] in the London Underground to literally fry eggs on the escalators. How ever you shouldn't try to do it [[{{Beat}} ...]] they are on a diet.
10	* BecomingTheCostume: For [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/395954722450210816 Halloween 2017]] they warned of a student who dressed as a circle line train in 1997 who became an example of this trope and was still running in service. Consider your costumes wisely!
11	* BerserkButton: Do ''not'' step over the yellow safety lines!
12	* BigEntrance: Apparently the underground trains like to do this, so [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/508703362268020736 red velvet curtains have been hung on all stations]] to help them.
13	* BreadEggsMilkSquick: In this case the list includes the usual flour, milk, lemons, eggs, etc. of a shopping list before heading to: [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/697114075889868800 Screams. Confusion. Fear. Denial. Acceptance. Tears]]. Oh, and [[RunningGag Delays]].
14	* ComicallyMissingThePoint: The official travel advice for dealing with the Covid Coronavirus outbreak of 2020; wash your hands, try not to touch other people, respect personal space, means that the virus is a great thing for [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/1236252204731940864 commuters]] as it means ideal commuting behaviour.
15	* ChristmasEpisode: In a spoof of the early broadcast of Christmas themed commercials, for 2017 they gave us an early release heartwarming advert of a [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/928904263668920321 boy befriending an escalator]]. Which then devolved into a TwistedChristmas tale of ruination and delays.
16	* DespairEventHorizon: The Central Line started doing this to commuters when [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/504227487761838081 South Ruislip]] station began pumping out abject misery. Delays.
17	* DragonHoard: London buses have had to adopt a cashless payment system because of dragons stealing cash payments [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/488619781176979456 for their hoards]].
18	* HalloweenEpisode: Subverted, since Halloween is just another day to them.
19	--> Reports of ghouls, spectres, wraiths and restless spirits across the network. So, all services appear to be operating normally.
20	* HeatWave:
21	** The heat in the 2015 heat wave led to platforms hot enough to turn people into eggs to fry themselves on them, the [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/616311232266694657 fabric of space and time melting]], and delays.
22	** And in [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/1011303571260952576 June 2018]] the heat rose high enough to break the very concept of time, ending the running gag about delays.
23	* InstantRunes: Came down with a case of these on [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/720872812106264577 April 15th 2016]] when they spontaneously manifested out of thin air leading to much consternation and trains being held at stations.
24	* LightningCanDoAnything: The Circle Line must harvest lightning to continue operating. Unfortunately the harvest only allows for [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/490089832983830528 three week's running]]. Delays.
25	* MundaneMadeAwesome: It's a Twitter account for ''bus and tram service (and boats),'' yet it still manages to be funny, surreal, frightening, and even poetic.
26	-->Use all available doors. Every. Single. One. Hurry! Some may close forever, and you will never know what lay beyond them. Good luck.
27	--->''--Tweet from Feb. 13, 2014''
28	* MysteriousMist: Delays on the Victoria Line are because of the Creeping Sleep Fog or the Dust Cloud of Malfeasance. Bus connections not available, delays.
29	* NoodleIncident: Quite a lot of them, actually. Many tweets make it sound like something is going on, but don't give you quite enough information to figure out exactly what.
30	-->If you're at Lancaster Gate and possess the ability to transmute base metals into gold, please make yourself known to the station manager.
31	--->''--Tweet from Nov. 7, 2013''
32	* OnlyTheKnowledgableMayPass: Commuters ''miiiiight'' encounter this problem.
33	--> The ticket barriers at Angel are setting general knowledge questions instead of accepting tickets. Please revise for your journey.
34	* OverusedRunningGag: That everything causes delays. Highlighted in the [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/1011303571260952576 June 25 2018]] tweet about how the heatwave had broken time itself and thus there could be no more delays.
35	* {{Parody}}: Of the actual [[https://twitter.com/TfLOfficial Transport for London Twitter page.]]
36	* {{Retgone}}: [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/621742429209817088 There have never been any buses]].
37	--> Please erase all memories of buses. What even is a bus?
38	* RunningGag:
39	** The continual mysterious and perplexing appearance of pineapples on the district line.
40	** Everything causes delays, [[MindScrew including more efficient service.]]
41	* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: Occasionally they decide just to close lines down because they are in charge and can do what they want. [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/506775816769126400 Sucks if you need the Victoria or Bakerloo line]]. Delays.
42	* ShoutOut: Many.
43	** This tweet from Feb 24, 2014, referencing ''Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}}'':
44	--> Say a normal delay is the size of a Twinkie. The delays on the Jubilee would be a Twinkie 35 feet long weighing approximately 200 pounds.
45	** This one celebrates Easter 2016:
46	--> The TLF egg hunt will begin at noon. [[Film/{{Aliens}} Flamethrowers, motion sensors and body armour will be provided.]] Good luck, everyone.
47	* SpiderTank: Created a Spider-Tram. It spun a giant web and [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/514852967124828160 devoured commuters]]. Delays.
48	* StarfishLanguage: Attempting to imitate one is not recommended.
49	--> Happy [=#TalkLikeATramDay=]! Please do not attempt to talk like a tram, as doing so causes serious internal injuries.
50	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Dark winter evenings are not caused by demon wolves, [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/654737335200821254 that is just a false rumour]].
51	* TimeCrash: On [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/1011303571260952576 June 25th 2018]] a heat wave hit that was so intense that the very concept of time itself melted and destroyed cause and effect itself. Leading to there being no more delays.
52	* UnusuallyUninterestingSight:
53	** Invoked occasionally, such as in this tweet from Jan. 20, 2014:
54	--> Monday. The coming of the Five Winds stirs the heavens. The sky dances to unheard music. You stare at your phone and do not notice. Monday.
55	** Tlf is puzzled as to why everyone got worked up by an [[http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-octopus-stranded-in-oxford-circus-causes-traffic-mayhem-9476156.html octopus in central London]]:
56	--> We deal with giant octopuses every day. Every. Day. Suddenly, one turns up above ground and it's 'news'.
57	* VigilanteMan: The [[https://twitter.com/TlfTravelAlerts/status/672332636296192000 Signals at Earls Court]] are not going to play by your rules, but they are going to get results! Delays.
58	* WeirdCurrency: On trams, in addition to money, you can pay with emotions, or -- as of March 2014 -- pancakes.
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Context Website / TlfTravelAlerts