Line #68 Literature/UnseenAcademicals


1	[[quoteright:300:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/unseen_acad.jpg]]
2
3	->''"Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork – not the old fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go 'gloing' when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a likely lad with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt. (No one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt, which worries him, too.) As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed for ever. Because the thing about football – the important thing about football – is that it is not just about football."''
4
5	The 37th book in the Literature/{{Discworld}} series, ''Unseen Academicals'' is about football. Well, slightly about football. Mostly it's about people, but then, aren't they all?
6
7	''Unseen Academicals'' tells the story of what happens when the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork tries to bring civilisation to the ancient and tradition-laden game of Foot-the-Ball. Since said traditions include a generous measure of mob violence both on and off the pitch, this proves a somewhat dicey project.
8
9	At the heart of the plot is the need for Unseen University to field a team (the eponymous Academicals), but as the story progresses this becomes almost [[{{Pun}} academic]] as the emotional focus of the story shifts to the [[LowerDeckEpisode downstairs staff]] whose work makes the team possible.
10
11	Preceded by ''Literature/MakingMoney'', followed by ''Literature/{{Snuff}}''. Preceded in the Wizards series by ''Literature/TheLastContinent'' (or ''Literature/TheScienceOfDiscworld 3'', if you're counting those).
12
13	A [[Creator/{{Sky}} Sky One]] film adaptation has been in development since 2011 but has suffered repeated delays. In 2018, Audible released a full-cast dramatization by Dirk Maggs as a website exclusive.
14
15	----
16	!!''Unseen Academicals'' features examples of:
17
18	[[folder:Tropes found in the book]]
19	%%* AccidentalInnuendo
20	* ActuallyPrettyFunny: Contains one of the only examples in the series of the Patrician laughing out loud:
21	--> '''Lady Margolotta:''' I would like you to teach [[spoiler:the orcs]] civilized behaviour.\
22	'''Mr. Nutt:''' I think that would be quite possible. And who would you send to teach the humans?
23	* ActuallyThatsMyAssistant: Glenda mouthing off about [[spoiler: Lady Margolotta]] to someone she thinks is her librarian. [[spoiler:The woman she thought was Lady Margolotta ''was'' the librarian.]]
24	* AintNoRule:
25	** Since the rules are still being written and [[AlmightyJanitor Ponder]] is in charge, there is not yet [[AnimalAthleteLoophole a rule regarding player species]], as this would force the Academicals' best goalie off the team. It is implied an ObviousRulePatch will be made as soon as the game is over.
26	** The only reason Rincewind's Luggage isn't on the team is that it didn't play very well (all its feet keep getting in the way). Otherwise, a box of sapient pearwood that is impervious to all damage and strong enough to defeat armies would have been on the team.
27	** Ponder doesn't realize he needs to establish a rule for acceptable footwear until [[spoiler:star player Bengo is fouled with ''heavy iron cleats'' and nearly crippled.]]
28	** The coaches spend almost as much time hammering out the complex offsides rules between plays as the players spend with the ball in motion.
29	* AnimalsHateHim: Specifically to horses, for whom Mr. Nutt's aroma is distressing; even the Horseman's Word only compels them to comply very, very unhappily.
30	* TheAlcoholic: PlayedForLaughs with Pepe, who declares that he'll drink water "when fish climb out of it to take a piss", but put him in a room with a bottle and watch it rapidly disappear. While visiting the Night Kitchen he helps himself to cider vinegar ("I'm only drinking the cider bit."), ketchup and even [[BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce Wow-Wow Sauce]].
31	* AllPsychologyIsFreudian: Mr. Nutt's method of psychotherapy revolves around acknowledging repressed memories and emotions (especially vis-a-vis paternal/maternal conflict), and is based entirely on Uberwaldian philosophy which comes complete with nonsensical Germanesque names. He even adopts the stock gag-Austrian accent (with "ze" for "the"), explaining that it's "soothing". And afterwards, he asks for a cigar.
32	* AlwaysCamp: Pepe the fashionista, but only when he's working.
33	* AlwaysChaoticEvil: A widely-held belief regarding [[spoiler: orcs]], ultimately proved false. Ankh-Morpork doesn't seem to hold this against [[spoiler:Nutt]] all that much...mostly because Ankh-Morpork assumes everybody's a vicious murdering bastard deep down.
34	* AmbiguouslyGay: Pepe again. WordOfGod ([[ShrugOfGod Shrug]] [[WordOfGay Of Gay]]?) is "he's probably as gay as a treeful of monkeys, but you can never tell". This is especially complicated because Pepe's a "dwarf convert" who defies both dwarf and human notions about sexuality. It doesn't help that his lover is Sharn, who identifies as female but in a way that leaves her biological sex ambiguous.
35	* AnimalAthleteLoophole: AintNoRule saying an orangutan can't play football! Since the wizards are writing the rules of football themselves as they go along, obviously there wouldn't be ...[[ObviousRulePatch until after the game]].
36	** Ain't no rule saying a sentient piece of luggage can't play football either. The only reason that it's scrapped from the team (although included on the cover art) is because it's absolutely horrible at it.
37	* AnomalousArt: A nervous night watchman in Ankh-Morpork's Art Museum breaks an age-old Ephebian urn. It is put down as one of those things. It is inferred that this is the prison of Pedestriana, Goddess of Foot-The-Ball. Now freed into the world, she looks at what humans have made of her sport - originally a religious ritual in her honor but now degenerated to a day-long street brawl - and starts putting things to rights.
38	* AntiMagic: The (former) Dean, as referee, puts up such a field around the pitch, to ensure that the wizards don't cheat via magic. Trev notices with dismay that he included himself in this effect. It doesn't hinder ghostly or divine possession, which work on different principles.
39	* ArcWords: "The leopard can change his shorts."
40	* ArmorOfInvincibility: Micromail, which can NoSell [[GroinAttack a sledgehammer blow to the nuts]].
41	* AsymmetricDilemma: The footnote on the first page about the Ankh-Morporkian system of government notes that "Everyone was entitled to vote, unless disqualified by reason of age or not being Lord Vetinari."
42	* AwesomeByAnalysis: Mr. Nutt knows ''exactly'' how much force it would take to tear your head off, and what muscles would give him trouble in the process. Fortunately for you, he'd much rather think about how to turn a ragtag bunch of wizards into a credible football team.
43	* BackFromTheDead: [[spoiler: Happens automatically to Nutt, thanks to the "little brother" incorporated into orcs by the Igors who created them.]]
44	* BadassBoast: Ridcully has one near the end of the book about an assault on one of the wizards.
45	-->"Because if anyone has [[spoiler:poisoned our Librarian]], then, although I am not, by nature, a vindictive man, I will see to it that this university hunts down [[spoiler:the poisoner]] by every thaumic, mystic, and occult means available and makes the rest of their life not only as horrible as they can imagine it, but as horrible as I can imagine it. And you can depend on it, gentlemen, that I have already started work on it."
46	* BadassBookworm: [[spoiler: Mr. Nutt, who doesn't let go of his SesquipedalianLoquaciousness even when prodding serious buttock.]]
47	* BadToTheLastDrop: Juliet struggles to make tea; usually the only tea-like characteristic her tea has is the color.
48	* TheBardOnBoard: Trev and Juliet are Romeo and Juliet from rival football teams. A ''lot'' of references to the play ensue, including "two teams, alike in villainy!" (And Trev puts his own spin on "A plague on both your houses" with "I hope the gods shit thin shit on all of you!")
49	* BeatTheCurseOutOfHim: [[TokenEvilTeammate Dr. Hix]] is the only one who dares to do this when Ridcully is under the control of a haunted artifact, which is exactly why he holds that job in the first place.
50	* TheBigDamnKiss: When [[spoiler:Juliet and Trev kiss at the end of the match, they float in the air and are lit with a golden glow]]. Other characters comment on this.
51	* BilingualBonus:
52	** The fashion magazine that Juliet reads is ''Bu-Bubble'' or, more likely, ''Beau Beaux Belle'' - three different words for "beautiful" in French.
53	** The lines from philosophical works Nutt quotes are infinitely more hilarious if you understand German. (One, for example, mentions sweet, vanilla-flavoured desserts.)
54	* BlackAndGrayMorality:
55	** [[spoiler:Lady Margolotta]]'s plans for Uberwald are far better than any of the alternatives but the means to the end are not necessarily nice. [[spoiler:As evidenced by her KickTheDog moments during Nutt's education.]]
56	--> "One day I was a young boy... when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. Even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued... As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and the pink roes spilled out much to the delight of the baby otters. Mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that is when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior." -- [[spoiler: Lord Vetinari, in a rare moment of (tipsy) candor]]
57	* TheBlacksmith: Mr. Nutt shoes a horse for the carriage company and silvers Glenda's tins. [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant No, not like that.]]
58	* TheBladeAlwaysLandsPointyEndIn: Happens when Angua tosses Juliet's pin-on Dolly badge on the table next to Trev's hand. Even the narrative isn't sure if it's deliberate or not.
59	* BlatantLies: Glenda tells Ottomy that she and Juliet missed the game because they were cleaning the ovens, causing him to look slowly around the kitchen at the lack of grime, cloths, soap, gloves, etc. She then adds that they just finished cleaning up.
60	* BloodSport: Street football is essentially this before Vetinari and UU get involved. Ponder mentions that in ancient times, losing teams could be throttled, and the painted urn that gets the story started depicts a player who's been brutally kicked by his opponent.
61	* BrainBleach: Glenda and those slightly-less-than-three seconds of [[spoiler:orcs]] in combat.
62	* BrainDrain: Pseudopolis' new Brazeneck College is trying to poach talent from Unseen University. Their Archchancellor used to be UU's Dean, and the head of their technomancy department was once Ponder Stibbons' best student. They even offered Ponder the post of Bursar, but he never even asked what the salary was. After all, even if they made him a professor, he'd probably have a lot less clout than as UU's JackOfAllTrades.
63	* BrainlessBeauty: Juliet, although not nearly as brainless as Glenda thinks.
64	* BreadEggsBreadedEggs: "The smell of pipe smoke and old socks, and since the wizards are lax about knocking out their pipes, smoking socks as well."
65	* BrickJoke:
66	** Back in ''Literature/FeetOfClay'', Vimes had an affirmative action snit in response to a bigoted complaint and said he'd accept a gorgon in the Watch. Now a NoodleIncident reveals that the Watch recently recruited a {{Medusa}} who accidentally turned three people to stone when a gust of wind knocked off her sunglasses.
67	** Mightily Oates' axe and ''unique'' style of spreading the light of Om reappear for the first time since ''Literature/CarpeJugulum''.
68	** The longest-air-time bricks come from ''Literature/{{Sourcery}}'', published 21 years earlier.
69	*** The only earlier reference to [[spoiler:orcs]] existing on the Disc was a ''very'' oblique reference in ''Literature/{{Sourcery}}'', in which one of the sword-flourishes Nigel cribs from his how-to-be-a-barbarian-hero booklet is named [[spoiler: Orcthrust]].
70	*** Rincewind asks to be excused from play with a note from his mother. Ridcully rejects this as Rincewind himself said his mother had abandoned him before birth (Discworld. Don't ask how). Rincewind then asks to be excused to go look for her.
71	*** And then there's the literal Brick Joke. After the heated meeting between Ridcully and [[spoiler: Henry, Former Dean and Current Archchancellor of Brazeneck]], Ponder sees Rincewind putting one of his socks back on. [[spoiler:He once stopped an EldritchAbomination by hitting it with half a brick in a sock. Ponder notes that it was probably the same sock.]]
72	** Back in ''Literature/ReaperMan'', there was a throw-away line about Ridcully wanting to get a team together for the 'Sity And Guild Match, described in the ''Discworld Companion'' as a slightly modernised version of Poor(e) Boys Fun.
73	** Quoth tells Susan about the profession of candle dribbler in ''Literature/SoulMusic''. It's not until this book that we find out the raven wasn't pulling her leg.
74	** ''Literature/ReaperMan'' describes "anti-crimes," and Hix can be said to be committing one: planting tickets for his amateur theater group's productions in people's pockets is the opposite of pickpocketing (especially since it's implied his group isn't very good).
75	** Pepe poo-poos Glenda's insistence that Juliet should keep working in the kitchens with, "What is this? Emberella?" In ''Literature/WitchesAbroad'', even Embers herself noted the silliness of her own name and circumstances.
76	** At the beginning of the book, the Faculty are congratulating themselves on the successful Hunt of the Megapode. At the end of the book, when discussing the [[spoiler: [[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever rampage of the Blit-Chicken in Pseudopolis]]]], Ponder and Ridcully agree that they don't need to hurry to help, as they have better things to do than [[HypocriticalHumor run around after birds]].
77	** [[Literature/WitchesAbroad The Horseman's Word]] is evidently just as effective for Nutt as for Jason Ogg. Of course, Nutt demonstrated that he could handle anvils and big hammers at a very young age...
78	** The race of Furies was obliquely mentioned in ''Literature/{{Eric}}'', as one of many Myth/ClassicalMythology-flavored creatures a Tsortean sergeant had fought in his military career. Granted, they may have been more common in the era of the Tsortean War.
79	** During Ridcully's tirade about [[BerserkButton the Dean leaving]] Ponder mentions that at least one wizard has retired. Doctor Earwig left to get [[https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Letice_Earwig married]].
80	** The wizards initially practice with a cursed whistle that is possessed by a parody of a nightmare PE Teacher. This mostly goes forgotten until the (former) Dean referees the game and blows the whistle... then declares into the megaphone [[SuddenlyShouting "ANYONE NOT IN KIT WILL PLAY IN THEIR PANTS"]].
81	* BringTheAnchorAlong: Nutt describes his early childhood labouring in a dark forge, where he built up his strength by working with larger and larger equipment until he could even carry the anvil. When his friend asks why that was so important to him, he clarifies that he was [[BornIntoSlavery chained to the anvil]].
82	* BroadStrokes: It is ''possible'' to tie Ridcully's background here (father was a butcher, grandfather was an Ankh-Morporkian who made music boxes and played football) with his introduction in ''Literature/MovingPictures'' as having spent several years running his family's country estate, but it takes a bit of work.
83	* BullyingADragon:
84	** Andy and his followers taunting Nutt about his species, once they learn the truth (they had the initial excuse of not knowing).
85	** To whomever [[spoiler:poisoned the Librarian]], congratulations. You have just angered [[spoiler:a 300 pound ape and his boss, who is not just a BoisterousBruiser but also one of the most powerful wizards on the Disc]]. In a word: Run.
86	* CardCarryingVillain: Professor Hix, by university statute. They need someone around who can ignore the rules a bit but still knows when to stop.
87	* CentipedesDilemma: Trev makes it clear that many of the amazing tricks he can do kicking a can don't work if he thinks about them. The Luggage also falls victim to this in a much more literal way, tripping over its own feet on the field (although usually able to walk).
88	* ChainmailBikini: Micromail is implied to be used primarily for underlayers (given how everyone talks about the lack of chafing) and is modeled complete with a false beard.
89	* ChangingOfTheGuard: Between Ponder's ascent to the University Council [[spoiler: (most of it, in fact; Ponder holds enough different positions to form both a quorum and a majority all by himself, so he can call meetings and hold binding votes ''without another soul present'')]], Nutt's implied future as Mightily Oats's successor, Adrian Turnipseed's professorship, and the youth of the cast in general, this book builds upon other recent Discworld novels in bringing a fresh generation of characters to the fore.
90	* CharacterDevelopment:
91	** Offscreen, Mightily Oats has become a BadassPreacher and ethnographer in some of the most remote and dangerous parts of Uberwald.
92	** Ponder Stibbons is shedding his NoRespectGuy tag as he proves himself a very skilled researcher who is also capable of managing all of UU's day-to-day affairs, including deftly manipulating much older and more ruthless wizards.
93	** Dr. Hix is considerably more confident and influential here than in ''Making Money''. [[spoiler:Insorcizing Professor Flead]] seems to have had the intended effect and let him move up in the department.
94	** We even learn a little more about the Patrician's secretary, Drumknott, although he has changed very little as a character since he was introduced in ''Feet of Clay''. For example, both Vimes and Vetinari take it as a price of doing business that all employees will steal small things from the workplace like leftover food or office supplies. ''Drumknott buys all his own paperclips.'' Vetinari believes a woman would have to dress up as a manila envelope to get his attention. Of course at the end, he bonds with a Librarian over 3-ring binders.
95	* ChekhovsGun:
96	** Glenda's favorite rule: The ball is the ball.
97	** The possessed whistle.
98	** "Come on if you think you're hard enough!"
99	** [[EyeScream How to get a free drink at any pub in Ankh-Morpork]].
100	* ChildrenAreInnocent: In this case, "innocent" can be taken in the legalistic sense of "innocent of being irredeemable psychopathic murderers until proven guilty". Even if you call them pups. Even if they are [[spoiler: infant orcs]].
101	* ChubbyChef: Trev unromantically calls Glenda a fat girl who makes a good pie. The latter is an understatement, as her culinary feats impress even [[BigEater wizards]]. The former is a source of some well-hidden insecurity, especially where her slim, famously beautiful childhood friend Juliet is concerned.
102	* ColorCodedWizardry: Parodied with UU's late sports instructor, Evans the Striped. Presumably he wore some sort of striped rugby shirt, or even a referee's black and white striped jersey.
103	* ContinuityPorn: At least, by Discworld standards. The text is liberally decorated with {{Continuity Nod}}s, including to some of the EarlyInstallmentWeirdness books like ''Literature/{{Sourcery}}'' that are rarely acknowledged later in the series.
104	* CordonBleughChef: After Nutt comes BackFromTheDead (that's a simplification; see [[spoiler: OurOrcsAreDifferent]]), the Igor attending him gives him a tuna, spaghetti and jam sandwich. With sprinkles.
105	* CoversAlwaysLie:
106	** Vetinari sadly does not referee the game.
107	** Glenda and Juliet are not dressed as cheerleaders, although they do watch the match.
108	** The Luggage is implied to be part of the team. This was ''tried'' but failed because of the CentipedesDilemma.
109	* CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass: Pepe. [[spoiler: And Nutt.]]
110	* CrushingHandshake:
111	** Subverted when Andy tries this on Nutt, and doesn't achieve anything but to make his ''own'' hand sore.
112	** Played straight with Hoggett, who "to his credit, hardly winced when it was taken for a firm handshake" by Ridcully.
113	* DemotedToExtra: Rincewind is not a key part of the team's strategy, much to his relief. Vimes, Haddock and Angua only show up as antagonists/background characters. William de Worde has a cameo as proto-announcer for the match. The [[Literature/GoingPostal Postmaster-General]] is mentioned as waiting to see Vetinari, but makes no actual appearance.
114	* DickDastardlyStopsToCheat: The United team's cheating does nothing but turn the crowd against them and give Trev his chance to shine. The team captain (who wanted to win fairly to prove a point) is furious at his out-of-control players for this.
115	* DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength: Inverted when Trev insists Nutt punch his arm, then admits that ''he'' didn't know Nutt's own strength while favoring his bruised biceps.
116	* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: Someone throwing a banana to the Librarian while on the field is reminiscent of real-world racist insults to black football players by throwing bananas at them.
117	* DownToTheLastPlay: Played with. The big game between Unseen Academicals and Ankh-Morpork United comes down to a single goal -- because it gets so chaotic that the referee pauses the game at a point when the scores are level and announces that he's going to end the game as soon as one more goal is scored, regardless of how much time is left on the clock.
118	* DramaticIrony: Anyone reading Discworld books in the first place is probably GenreSavvy enough to realize that [[spoiler:Glenda is talking to Lady Margolotta in the coaching house -- if not immediately, then certainly by the third paragraph]].
119	* EarlyBirdCameo: The birds in question are the Sisters, whose species [[spoiler: (Furies)]] was briefly mentioned in ''Literature/{{Eric}}''.
120	* EasilyDistractedReferee: Henry the Dean in the big game, who misses lots of blatant fouls despite his attempts to be as fair as possible.
121	* EqualOpportunityEvil: Dr. Hix mentions that the Department of Post-Mortem Communications gets a pass from the "no female wizards" rule when he tries to recruit Glenda.
122	* TheEmpire: This is the first book to go into any kind of detail about the fallen Evil Empire of Uberwald (also called the Unholy Empire and the Dark Empire in earlier books). According to WordOfGod, it's the FantasyCounterpartCulture of the [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn Soviet Union]], combined with some fairly obvious nods to {{Mordor}}.
123	* EverybodyLives: Unusually for a Discworld story, Death only shows up once to tell a character he's not dead yet. Then again... some things you don't want to live through.
124	* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: After years of calling the Dean “Dean”, Ridcully struggles to remember his actual name, even though they were friends at school. Most other wizards’ names still aren’t given in this book, but the Dean is a special case; Ridcully has to call him something because he’s left UU, but refuses to call him “Archchancellor.”
125	* EveryoneHasStandards: The ''United'' captain wants to knock the wizards down a peg as much as anyone, but the mob of cheating bullies he's saddled with disgusts him. He plays along with Glenda's gambit at the end just to deny Andy the victory, then lays him out once it's over.
126	* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: Parodied by Dr Hix: "Evil Empire. It did what it said on the iron maiden."
127	* ExpospeakGag: Nutt's erudite and verbose way of answering questions.
128	* {{Expy}}: Glenda has rather a lot in common with [[Literature/{{Maskerade}} Agnes Nitt]], albeit with a less downtrodden main personality and a better integrated Perdita-analogue (which is also in her case released by large amounts of sherry, not innate magical ability). Her relationship with Juliet also echoes Agnes' relationship with Christine, though Juliet is a more sympathetic version of a BrainlessBeauty.
129	** Though there are some echoes of Christine in her character, Juliet has far more in common with [[Literature/{{Thud}} Tawneee]], being impossibly beautiful, somewhat dim, very sweet-natured, and with a tendency to make heterosexual men fall over themselves and get too nervous to approach her. The main difference is that Juliet is better-developed; she has more HiddenDepths and is less innocent than the wide-eyed Tawneee.
130	** Bengo Marcarona, meanwhile, is fairly blatantly an expy of (in)famous legendary Argentine football player Diego Maradona, though his intellectual pursuits also suggest the mercurial Eric Cantona, equally famous for his football skills, his unusually brilliant philosophical mind that netted him a successful acting career, and his explosive temper, which netted him a lengthy ban for karate kicking an opposing supporter.
131	* FamedInStory: Trev's father, Dave Likely.
132	* FantasticVermin: While Nutt explores Unseen University's cellars, he is intrigued to learn that they are home to "that very rare indoorovore, the Uncommon Sock Eater". (Presumably this indicates that the Eater of Socks from ''Literature/{{Hogfather}}'' survived the book's events, possibly to breed.)
133	* FoodPorn: Just read those descriptions of Glenda's pies.
134	* {{Foreshadowing}}:
135	** The ActuallyThatsMyAssistant scene is hinted at early, when the woman Glenda identifies as Lady Margolotta [[spoiler: who is actually her librarian]] complains that it's too noisy in the coaching house.
136	** Ponder asks what Brazeneck is using to power Pex, and reacts with just a hint of unholy glee.
137	** The [[spoiler:Furies']] incessant cry of "''Awk! Awk!''" turns out to have a significance which probably flies right over [[spoiler:rhotic speakers']] heads: [[spoiler:"''Orc! Orc!''"]]
138	* AFriendInNeed: Glenda, Juliet, Mr Nutt, and Trev swap around bailing each other out in the course of the plot.
139	* GeniusBruiser: [[spoiler: Again, Mr. Nutt. He's a member of a race of specially-bred super soldiers, and also read and memorized most of Lady Margolotta's library. Which means he can tell you just how much force [[note]] "three-to-five [=kiloBunns=]"[[/note]] it will take to snap your neck, and which muscles will get in the way.]]
140	* GirlsLoveStuffedAnimals: Even the three-eyed ones, who are [[WesternAnimation/YogiBear more enlightened than the average bear]].
141	* GivenNameReveal: ''Because'' the Dean has left UU and can't be referred to by either title by Ridcully ("Archchancellor" was out of the question, but "Dean" too obvious an insult), Ridcully has to dig around in his memories for "the bastard's ''name''", which turns out to be [[SpecialPersonNormalName Henry]].
142	* GoodOldWays: Changing the rules of football? Unthinkable! [[spoiler:Glenda's description of it has enough innate magic to cause false memories in every wizard listening.]]
143	* GoodShepherd: Mightily Oats from ''Literature/CarpeJugulum'' appears only in the {{backstory}}, but he appears to have grown into this role, bringing [[ICallItVera Forgiveness]] with him wherever he travels.
144	* GroinAttack: Andy tries this on Trev, but runs into Pepe's gift.
145	* HatOfAuthority: The Archchancellor's Hat, valued perhaps even more for its conferred status than its magical abilities, is hotly contested between the rival wizard universities.
146	* HenchmenRace: [[spoiler:The orcs were designed purely to serve as weapons, and most people assumed that they weren't capable of functioning without someone to give them orders]].
147	* HistoricalInJoke: Many references are made to the origins of modern Association Football under the English FA (Football Association) in the 1870s, including the FA Cup, which originally included teams like the Old Etonians. At the same time, it also references the hooliganism that English football was infamous for in the 1980s, [[TruthInTelevision when wearing the wrong colours in the wrong place, at the wrong time, really could be a lethal mistake]]. Lord Vetinari's 'consultation with the Wizards' that produces the new form of Football on the Disc can likewise be equated with the Taylor Report. Unfortunately, unlike the Discworld equivalent, the Taylor Report was not driven by academics looking to keep their funding, but by the tragedy of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillsborough_disaster the Hillsborough Disaster]], when 96 people were killed in a human crush. The youngest of the victims, Jon-Paul Gilhooley, cousin of future Liverpool and England captain Steven Gerrard, was only 10 years old. This is itself unpleasantly reminiscent of the book's descriptions of the Shove.
148	* HumansAreBastards: People believe that [[spoiler:orcs]] were created by magically and/or eugenically altering goblins. [[spoiler: At the end, Margolotta reveals that, no, orcs are descended from humans. Vetinari reflects that it's obvious: goblins aren't ''vicious'' enough (an assessment borne out by ''Literature/{{Snuff}}'').]]
149	* ICallItVera: We find out that the double-headed battle-axe carried by [[GoodShepherd Mightily Oats]] at the end of ''Literature/CarpeJugulum'' now has a name: Forgiveness.
150	* IDontPayYouToThink: Smeems tells Mr. Nutt this. Unfortunately, when he gets stuck on top of the Emperor candle, he needs Nutt to figure out how to get him down. Nutt does it, but still says, "[[DeadpanSnarker I thought I wasn't paid to think, sir.]]"
151	* IGaveMyWord: Trev promised his Mum he'd never play football.
152	* IllTakeTwoBeersToo: After the wizards catch the Megapode, one of the maids asks them what they want to eat. Ridcully gives an impressive list of food (including "cheese boards one through five") and then says "Anyone else want to add anything?"
153	* ImMelting: Not shown, but Evans the Striped reportedly expired in a Type E example, i.e. he ''evaporated''.
154	* ImplausibleDeniability: The giant ever-burning candle known as the Emperor [[BlatantLies did not go out]], even if Nutt's vision tricked him into thinking it did. This must be so, because Smeems insists as much... just like he did on the prior two occasions it's [[YouDidntSeeThat not gone out]] on his watch.
155	* IndestructibleEdible: Professor Macarona's dehydrated pasta, the equivalent of Roundworld ramen.
156	* InherentlyFunnyWords: '''Gloing.'''
157	* InMyLanguageThatSoundsLike: Various bits of dwarfish fall victim to this here.
158	* InsistentTerminology:
159	** Professor Bengo Macarona, after scoring the first goal for the Academicals, insists that any chanting of his name also includes his full name and list of honours. Since this in its entirety is "Professor Macarona D.Thau (Bug), D.Maus (Chubb), Magistaludorum (QIS), Octavium (Hons), PHGK (Blit), DMSK, Mack, D.Thau (Bra), Visiting Professor in Chickens (Jahn the Conqueror University (Floor 2, Shrimp Packers Building, Genua)), Primo Octo (Deux), Visiting Professor of Blit/Slood Exchanges (Al Khali), [=KCbfJ=], Reciprocating Professor of Blit Theory (Unki), D.Thau (Unki), Didimus Supremius (Unki), Emeritus Professor in Blit Substrate Determinations (Chubb), Chair of Blit and Music Studies (Quirm College for Young Ladies)" and the crowd actually ''agrees to go along with it,'' this turns the football chant "One Makaronah, there's only one Makaronah, there's only one Makaronah, one Makaro-naah" into an OverlyLongGag of absolutely ''EPIC'' proportions.
160	** Also, continuing a gag from ''Literature/MakingMoney'', it's "Post-Mortem Communications", ''not'' "necromancy".
161	* InstantExpert: Averted. Trev's skill with a can does not transfer to a football.
162	* InterspeciesRomance: Although Pepe and Madam Sharn are both dwarves, Pepe is technically a small human who ''converted'' to being a dwarf. Played straight with [[spoiler:Glenda and Nutt]]... [[BioPunk sort]] [[WhatMeasureIsANonhuman of]]. There's also the ambiguously romantic relationship between Lady Margolotta and Vetinari.
163	* IronicEcho: Andy Shank threatens Trev that if he plays in the big game he'll be carried out of the stadium, meaning to suggest that Trev will be too injured to walk. When Trev, and the rest of the victorious team, are carried out in triumph on the shoulders of the crowd, the narrator notes that Andy's prediction was technically correct.
164	* IWasToldThereWouldBeCake: "There will be cake."
165	* JustTheFirstCitizen: Played with, as Ridcully, the Archchancellor of Unseen University, is traditionally considered the "first among equals", but he stresses the word ''first''.
166	* {{Kaiju}}: [[spoiler: An accident at Brazeneck's Higher Energy Magic building unleashes a seventy-foot chicken onto the streets of Pseudopolis.]] And it's foreshadowed too. Early on, Ponder asks what Brazeneck is using to power their knockoff of Hex; the answer is [[spoiler: chickens]]. Ponder's initial reaction is [[spoiler:mildly alarm, and then smugness: he knows what will happen, and clearly has no interest in telling Adrian how to fix it.]] But then, they ''did'' steal the design for Hex [[spoiler: (not to mention the Dean)]] - he isn't really fond of them.
167	* KarmaHoudini: Defied. [[spoiler: It looks like Andy Shank is going to get away virtually unscathed, but then the CampGay Pepe decides to make sure he gets what's coming to him.]]
168	* KickTheDog: [[spoiler: Nutt's upbringing combines this with PetTheDog in the most warped way.]]
169	* LargeHam: Ridcully, as always, feels the need to declare to no one in particular "Change and decay! I am surrounded by traitors! They thwart me at every turn" when he sees the housekeeper's raided all his secret food stashes.
170	* LaymansTerms: Inverted, played straight, and subverted with the love letter Trev asks Mr. Nutt to enhance from simply, "I think you are really fit, want to go out? No hanky-panky, promise." When the letter is delivered, the loquacious language is too hard for Juliet to understand and needs Glenda to translate it. Glenda ends up using the exact phrase Trev originally wanted enhanced. The subversion comes from [[spoiler:the fact that Nutt had thought about his feelings for Glenda and what he would want to say to her to ask her out on a date with the same promises and she understood it without any issues]].
171	* LiteralistSnarking: Tell Glenda that "Vetinari has ears everywhere" and you'll get the reply "I only see two."
172	* LiteralMinded: Drumknott can't grasp the idea of kicking a football for fun and asks Vetinari exactly ''how'' the football would be "inviting" him to kick it. Would there be a note attached?
173	* LoadsAndLoadsOfRules: Part of Vetinari's attempt to control the game, as trying to outwit a game of complex rules is less likely to end in bloodshed. Like Round World soccer, the offsides rules in particular seem to be extremely complex and hotly disputed.
174	* LongList: Examples below combined with OverlyLongGag:
175	** Professor Macarona's full list of titles and honors goes on for about a full hardcover page. In reality it's only about an eight-line paragraph, but ''repeated'' so many times that it covers nearly two softcover pages - and audiobook readers may start to wonder if their file is stuck in a loop.
176	** Ridcully asks Ponder what the Academicals' problem is. The list of ways they are failing to grasp football takes up roughly the same space as the one above. Without repetition.
177	* LowerDeckEpisode: Many Discworld books have focused on the faculty of Unseen University and ''Literature/EqualRites'' filled in several details about the household staff but this is the first book in which the staff become the main characters.
178	* MamaBear: Glenda. According to Vetinari, ItRunsInTheFamily.
179	* MeaningfulName: Juliet, obviously. There's also Andy Shank; "shank" can mean a stabbing weapon. Also see Stealth Pun below for Trev Likely.
180	* MemeticBadass:
181	** Vimes, in-universe; as discussed in ''Literature/NightWatchDiscworld'', coppers in Ankh-Morpork (and the surrounding cities) are called "Sammies" or "Old Sam" for a reason. (On [[TruthInTelevision Roundworld]], it's why British cops are "bobbies," or "Old Bill.")
182	** Mrs. Whitlow has an in-universe Memetic Domestic Badass reputation among the UU staff, which Glenda eventually sees through and subverts.
183	* MisappliedPhlebotinum: [[spoiler:''Orcs''. The Evil Empire created a race of GeniusBruiser {{Super Soldier}}s capable of excelling in every field of warfare... and then drove them into battle in poorly-armed waves with men with whips to goad them on. Considering that Uberwald is the old and much-beloved home of MadScience, they were probably built by Igors to drastically exceed their intended purpose. And that intended purpose seems to have been "an easy-to-breed humanoid lifeform with extremely rapid physical and mental development that allows for minimum time between birth and ZergRush use in battle". Most of them probably died long before their real potential began to show.]]
184	* MistakenForForeigner: Glenda lampshades people's tendency to do this to [[FantasticRacism dwarfs]]. When Juliet says that a dwarf who was rude should "go back where he came from," Glenda says "That'd be Treacle Mine Road, then. He was born in the city." Presumably, Glenda noticed his accent, while Juliet only noticed that he was a dwarf.
185	* MistakenForSpies: The line “I wish I knew exactly whom Vetinari was employing” from Ridcully implies he thinks Glenda is a spy for Vetinari. She isn’t; she’s just arranged to see what’s going on in the Uncommon Room because she’s curious about it.
186	* MistakenIdentity: Courtesy of Glenda's total lack of useful cynicism in some areas.
187	* MotivationOnAStick: There's a scene with the wizards riding on the backs of the university porters and motivating them with a bottle of beer on the end of a stick.
188	* MuggingTheMonster: Ponder recalls how his wizardry first manifested when he set fire to the trousers of a schoolyard bully who'd been giving him a wedgie.
189	* MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch: Played with in several instances.
190	** [[spoiler:Nutt is an orc, but largely rejects violence. His PlanetOfHats' hat get deconstructed by the end, though, showing that the orcs' bloodthirstiness had been an in-universe DeadUnicornTrope.]]
191	** Pepe and Madame Sharn are both exceptions to OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame. In fact, they bring up some very interesting questions about how dwarves think about sex, gender, and sexuality. All dwarves look male by human standards, even clearly feminine-gendered dwarfs wear so many layers of leather and metal that it's impossible to guess anatomical sex, and it's not polite to ''ask'' what sex another dwarf is unless you're engaged to them. So do dwarves have any concept of sexual orientation, or of gender arising from anatomical sex?
192	*** Also, Pepe is the second example of the fact that Discworld dwarves regard dwarfishness in a fashion closer to a religion than anything biological.
193	* {{Nephewism}}: Ponder Stibbons was brought up by his aunts. He mentions this because, just after the wizards all remember their fathers taking them to football games, Ponder realizes he never met his.
194	* NeverGetsDrunk: Subverted by Lord Vetinari. He matches a hall full of heavy drinkers twice his size mug-for-mug and most of them end up passing out. Vetinari only appears slightly tipsy, but then he stubs his toe on a stair, takes an extra 50 seconds to solve the ''Times'' crossword the next morning (even resorting to the dictionary) and Drumknott notes that he seems unusually talkative, though no less cogent. For him, that's the equivalent of getting married in Vegas.
195	* NiceToTheWaiter: Ridcully and Lord Vetinari are both willing to hear and consider Glenda's thoughts on football and mob rule.
196	* NoodleIncident: Whatever happened on Tuesday. Ridcully's latest anti-Dean rant is still better than Tuesday.
197	* NoSocialSkills: Nutt, initially. He's read a lot in books, but applying that to the real world is something else.
198	* NothingIsTheSameAnymore: For the first time since ''Literature/MovingPictures'', UU has been shaken up by [[spoiler:the departure of the Dean - and, not coincidentally, we finally learn his name, or at least his first name]].
199	* OddJobGods: Pedestriana, the Goddess of Football.
200	* OddNameNormalNickname: One of Unseen University's bledlows goes by Al. A fellow bledlow is surprised to learn it's short for Alphonse (a Quirmian name) rather than Alfred but goes no further due to Al obviously being sensitive about it.
201	* OffingTheMouth: The intellectual but totally unstreetwise [[spoiler:Orc]] Mr Nutt gets this treatment from a gang of proto-football hooligans. His mistake was to try to engage them in debate on mob psychology and the sociopathology of overcrowded juvenile male rats, ''just'' as Trev was about to possibly get them out a messy situation. Nutt gets clubbed and left for dead by the gang.
202	* OnOneCondition: The entire reason the wizards have to play football is that there is an important financial grant which will revert back to the other heirs if they don't enter a team "in the game of Foot-the-Ball or Poore Boys' Funne."
203	* OpposeWhatYouSuffered: Pepe stands up to the bully Andy when no-one else does [[spoiler:both by providing the protagonists with protection against Andy's favoured GroinAttack and by actually cutting Andy with a knife, a treatment Andy is very keen on inflicting on others]], and in his TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Pepe states that he is very familiar with bullies, implicitly from having been bullied himself[[spoiler:, potentially about his ambiguous species and sexuality]], and will not allow bullies to get away with it any more.
204	* OurNudityIsDifferent: The wizards are adamant they can't wear shorts that expose their knees, for fear of the effect this might have on women. The one woman who hears this has trouble keeping a straight face.
205	* OurOrcsAreDifferent: [[spoiler: Mr. Nutt. They were made from humans, not from elves or goblins, and they are ''not'' AlwaysChaoticEvil. They are effectively a race of perfect soldiers, which means that they're [[GeniusBruiser incredibly smart]] to adapt to the situation quickly, generally quite friendly with their friends/comrades, and have a HealingFactor that allows them to go from "OnlyMostlyDead" to "fine" in day.]]
206	* OverlyLongGag: The Bengo Macarona chant goes on for over ''two pages'' due to Macarona's insistance that the chanting crowd [[TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard use his complete list of titles and awards]]. Read in-full in the audiobook, going on for over 4 minutes.
207	* PassiveAggressiveKombat: It's noted that high-ranking wizards cannot get into fights in public, because that could have dire magical consequences. Therefore Ridcully and [[spoiler:Henry, former Dean of UU]] butt heads in a very masculine form of PolitenessJudo.
208	* PickedLast: Referenced several times. Ponder is explicitly described as having been picked last for every game he couldn't make up an excuse to avoid. He's ''thrilled'' that this time around he can appoint himself scorekeeper and stay out of the action.
209	--> '''Ridcully:''' Now we all understand this! It's a boy thing! It's like little girls and the colour pink! You know how to do this! Pick the teams alternately so one of you ends up with the weird kid and the other with the fat kid. Some of the fastest mathematics of all time have been achieved by team captains trying not to end up with the weird kid - stay where you are, Rincewind!
210	* PlayingCyrano: Amusingly subverted, as Nutt ghost-writes a love letter to Juliet for Trev, who can't think of anything better to say than "I think you are really fit, want to go out? No hanky-panky, promise." This is, [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike word for word]], exactly how Glenda summarizes Nutt's poetic missive when Juliet asks her what all "Trev's" fancy words mean.
211	* PosthumousCharacter: Dave Likely. Trev lives forever in his father's shadow [[spoiler:until he manages to outdo him with the final goal]].
212	* PowderKegCrowd: The Shove. Always. Vetinari's willing to stake his reputation on rewriting the rules because The Shove is so likely to spill over into riot.
213	* PrinceCharming: Referenced; Glenda thinks Juliet ''deserves'' a handsome prince, which is why she disapproves of her hanging around with Trev Likely. [[spoiler:Later Glenda realizes this isn't the whole truth: she's gotten too used to "crab-bucket" thinking to see the real potential in Trev...''and'' in Juliet]].
214	* PunchClockVillain: A somewhat unusual version with Dr. Hix, of the Department of Necromancy... Er, [[InsistentTerminology Post-Mortem Communications]], who is professionally obligated to be ''slightly'' evil from time to time, albeit within "[[AffablyEvil acceptable]] [[PokeThePoodle levels]]" set by university regulations. Normally, he fulfills this obligation through minor mischief such as slipping people tickets to his community theater group. But it should also be noted that as the ''official'' Post-Mortem Communicator, Dr. Hix is also responsible for dealing with ''[[EvilSorceror unofficial]]'' [[EvilSorceror Post-Mortem Communicators]]. [[KillItWithFire With fireballs]], if necessary.
215	* RealMenWearPink: The Dimwell colors are green and bright pink. Do ''you'' want to question a football hooligan's manhood? Didn't think so. Nutt theorizes that the pink was deliberately chosen to trick people into provoking the Dimwells.
216	* RescueRomance: Trev doesn't really get Juliet's interest until after he saves her from being beaned during a football match (the old-fashioned footballs are made of wood and ''very'' heavy).
217	-->'''Juliet:''' He saved my life!\
218	'''Glenda:''' That's no basis for a relationship! A polite thank you would have sufficed.
219	* {{Roboteching}}: Trev can do this with ''tin cans''. It's all about the spin.
220	* RugbyIsSlaughter: The state of football in the beginning of the book.[[note]]Where "football" is the original undifferentiated game, the Mass Shove with few rules, the caveman grandparent of what later became eleven-a-side football as we know it, two codes of Rugby, Australian Rules Football and of course American Football[[/note]] Part of Trev's backstory was that his father died on the pitch.
221	* RunningGag:
222	** "It doesn't chafe!"
223	** "Skull ring, remember?"
224	** "Hanky panky".
225	** "Bledlow Alf Nobbs (no relation)."
226	** The whistle of former university sports master, Evans the Striped.
227	* UnderestimatingBadassery: Almost the entire cast of working class heroes thinks that the University Staff are a bunch of upper class fops who have no idea what they are doing, assuming them to be a bunch of old idiots they can either ignore or, in the case of the villains, trample over. Long time readers know that the wizards are, in fact, very powerful with a wide range of magical artefacts at their disposal which they can and will use to make anyone's life very unpleasant in very short order if sufficently angered. In the penultimate football match against the University, the Wizards are injured, mocked, and in one case, poisoned; something almost guaranteed to bring down the not inconsiderable wrath of the UU. It's actually a little disappointing that we don't get to see the Wizard's revenge.
228	* ScrewTheRulesTheyreNotReal: Much of Glenda's CharacterDevelopment is unlearning all the rules she's been taught, consciously or not, about being helpful and "knowing her place", and learning to take advantage of the fact that people will ''not'' hit you with a hammer if you break these unspoken rules.
229	* SecondVerseCurse: Invoked; whoever wrote the Ankh-Morpork anthem knew nobody would remember the second verse so they just filled it with a bunch of "ner ner ner" to begin with.
230	* SeriousBusiness: Football. Starts out as a subversion, as the only thing on the line seems to be a large portion of the University's food budget, and the wizards don't even need to ''win'' the game to retain that. Then the Archchancellor's Hat is wagered on the result. And then Vetinari commits to reforming the rules and it becomes a fight for the spirit of the game and for reason containing the mob. A loss for the Academicals ''could'' actually damage the Patrician's authority.
231	* SeveredHeadSports: There is a rule explicitly stating that during a match any object that has been kicked by at least three players in succession is to be considered the ball. Guess what kind of impromptu ball created this rule...
232	* ShamefulStrip: Evans the Striped would shame students who hadn't brought their kit (gym uniform) by making them take their regular trousers off and play in their underpants.
233	* ShapedLikeItself: "Mostly they're just pies, sir. Made of... pie."
234	** Also, the first rule of football is "The ball shall be called the ball."
235	* ShootTheDog: It's important that [[spoiler: Mr. Nutt does not harm anyone, and publicly refrains from harming Andy when he'd be quite justified in doing so]]. However it's ''also'' important that [[spoiler: Andy gets his just desserts, so Pepe obliges]].
236	* ShoutOut:
237	** Most of the early plot of the book is a direct copy of ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'', when it is not a ShoutOut to "Literature/{{Cinderella}}" or ''Theatre/MyFairLady''. Lampshaded in one of the epilogues, when Glenda and Nutt go to see a play called "Starcrossed" by Discworld's Shakespeare-analogue and agree that the tragic ending was an IdiotBall situation.
238	** Juliet ("Jules"), a woman in dressed in golden-shining chainmail, is supported after the game by the whole Ankh-Morpork team in red shirts -- this is clearly meant to resemble the [[http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/06/article-1160022-049568020000044D-623_312x524.jpg '''Jules''' Rimet Trophy]], awarded for the Football World Cup (up to 1970).
239	** Professor Bengo Macarona is evidently a nod to Diego Maradona, a famous football (soccer for Americans) player. There was also a player named Macarone in Genoa, which is the right city, give or take a letter.
240	*** On top of that, Maradona's fans would sing "Un Maradona, c'è solo un Maradona" ("One Maradona, there's only one Maradona") to the tune of "Guantanamera." This is directly lifted for the Discworld version ... well, at least until Macarona insists on including his full credentials.
241	** The RunningGag of the celebrity press asking about "your favourite spoon" is from ''Magazine/PrivateEye''.
242	** The reference to ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'' gets {{lampshaded}} near the end of the book, when [[spoiler:Glenda]] comments about how an in-universe play (named ''[[StarCrossedLovers Starcrossed]]'') is [[ThisIsReality unrealistic]]. (The play in question has been written by Hwel, [[Literature/WyrdSisters a character from an earlier book]] who is the Disc's Creator/WilliamShakespeare.)
243	** The first few pages are an extended ShoutOut[=/=]parody of Creator/DanBrown.
244	--->It occurred to new employee Rudolph Scattering...
245	** And when Hex is asked to find a football, he responds by asking whether they meant a spherical or oval ball, a shout out to [[UsefulNotes/AmericanFootball those]] [[UsefulNotes/RugbyUnion other]] [[UsefulNotes/AustralianRulesFootball games]].
246	** Similarly, Hex now has a [[WesternAnimation/ReBoot white mask]] through which he can be addressed, and from which his responses appear to come.
247	** The epilogue, beginning "You think it's over?" and ending "It is now!", is a shout out to [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They_think_it%27s_all_over a famous piece of football commentary]].
248	** Glenda's private thoughts about how to deal with Ottomy -- and how to dispose of the evidence -- are a tip of the hat to ''Theatre/SweeneyTodd''.
249	** ''VideoGame/BioShock'': Beings called 'Little Sisters' who aren't seen at their best when eating.
250	** Nutt's indecipherable philosophy of football recalls Eric Cantona at his most Dadaesque.
251	** One of Juliet's brothers is named Algernon. Mr. Nutt describes to him a theory that football players were very similar to lab rats. He promptly attacks Mr. Nutt. [[Literature/FlowersForAlgernon Algernon still likes rats and dislikes experiments on them.]]
252	** The fact that the [[spoiler:Orcs]] make their debut in a football story is probably a nod to Creator/GamesWorkshop's famous characterization of them as a parody of rioting British football hooligans. Although physically, the Discworld version are more similar to [[spoiler:Adeptus Astartes]].
253	** Believe it or not, the once-a-century tradition of Hunting the Megapode that the wizards perform at the start of the book, in which the faculty run around the University in pursuit of an imaginary bird, is based on the real-life [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mallard_Song All Souls' Mallard]] ceremony at All Souls' college, Oxford. The ceremony was last performed in 2001 and, with the substitution of a mallard duck on a stick for Rincewind-as-Megapode, is surprisingly similar to the Unseen University version.
254	* SmallParentHugeChild: Mrs. Atkinson is a vicious little old lady who is a particularly problematic presence in the Shove. She's able to get away with this because of her absolutely gargantuan son who threatens swift reprisal on his mother's behalf. This ultimately doesn't save her when she makes the mistake of poisoning the Librarian.
255	* SmugSnake: Andy Shank. He's an evil-minded little git who carries himself like Carcer Dun. [[spoiler:Pepe educates him in why this shouldn't be so.]]
256	* SophisticatedAsHell: Asked what makes a good football trainer, Nutt gives a long answer that takes in psychology, metaphysics and quantum physics, concluding with:
257	--> It is my job to reduce this metaphysical overhead, as it were, and to give my lads some acceptable paradigm, such as, it might be, whack it right down the middle, my son, and at least if the goalie stops it you will have given him a hot handful he won't forget in a hurry.
258	* SpockSpeak: Nutt, most of the time.
259	* StealthPun: Trev works in the university dribbling candles for wizardly pursuits. By the end of the book, he's dribbling footballs instead.
260	** He's also "Dave Likely's son"... or Likely's lad; a "likely lad" being either a skilled sportsman or a known troublemaker - and Trev's ''both''.
261	*** Un-stealthed in the back-cover copy, which calls him "a likely lad with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can". (The pre-release blurb had much the same phrase, but called him an "urchin".)
262	** The three-eyed teddy, described as "more enlightened than the average bear" is an obvious reference to both the "third eye" of Eastern mysticism and WesternAnimation/YogiBear. Now think about where the title "yogi" comes from...
263	** Hix is Unseen University's token Black Magician.
264	** The team "Unseen Academicals" just happens to contain a number of not-seen-before staff of the Unseen University.
265	** Buried in the list of previously unmentioned seats of learning where Macarona has degrees is "Chubb". In the UK, Chubb is the name of a well-known manufacturer of high-security locks; a stealth pun on Yale.
266	* StraightGay: Professor Bengo Macarona of Genua, star football player, with 13 doctorates from Unki, QIS, and Chubb and a visiting professorship at Bugarup, cited in two hundred and thirty-six papers... and one divorce petition.
267	-->'''Ridcully:''' Angry husband?\
268	'''Stibbons:''' Angry wife, as I heard it.\
269	'''Ridcully:''' Oh, he was married, was he?\
270	'''Stibbons:''' Not to my knowledge, Archchancellor.
271	* SuperSoldier: [[spoiler: Orcs. Super-strong, fast, can come BackFromTheDead, super ''smart'' and with a natural teamwork instinct.]]
272	* SupremeChef: Glenda. Her grandmother was the cook at the Assassins' Guild when Vetinari was a student; he ''still'' remembers the pies fondly, and practically (for Vetinari) salivates when he learns that the recipes were passed down. He's also the one to realize that Glenda would never even think of poisoning a pie because of the almost religious importance she places on food. He mentions at the end that he had been planning on offering her a job if things had turned out differently.
273	* TallPoppySyndrome: Referred to here as the "crab bucket". (The analogy being that the market sellers keep crabs for sale in open-topped buckets. The crabs don't escape because, since they all grasp at each other all the time, no crab ever succeeds in climbing out of the open bucket because the others hold it back.) Not getting ideas above one's station is a huge part of the working class culture of Dolly Sisters, and much of Glenda's CharacterDevelopment is learning to let go of the crab bucket mindset.
274	** Trev's attempts to teach Nutt to use colloquial street-dialect rather than formal Morporkian could also be considered this trope, although he's even less conscious of what he's doing. Alternatively, he could be trying to protect Nutt from this attitude, and the concomitant mistrust of well-spoken people.
275	* [[TemptingApple Tempting Banana]]: Ordinarily, of course, this is an apple's job. But in this case it was SchmuckBait for the Librarian.
276	* TokenEvilTeammate: Dr. Hix, again. It's in his job description.
277	* TooDumbToFool: Juliet can often tear down Glenda's white lies or deceptions, because she's too unimaginative to fill in the gaps on her own.
278	* TooDumbToLive: UU's Mr. Floribunda apparently thought that using the Cabinet of Curiosity as a snack pantry was a good idea. Unfortunately for him, the rule that anything organic automatically returns to it within 14.14 hours ''did'' apply to bacon sandwiches ... even already-digested ones. Fortunately, he did live through [[NoodleIncident whatever it was that happened to him]].
279	* TheTropeFormerlyKnownAsX: Vetinari repeatedly refers to the former Dean and current Archchancellor of Brazeneck University as "Archchancellor formerly known as Dean" in the gathering that happens halfway into the book. Later the narration starts using this form of address as well.
280	* TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard: The aforementioned Professor Macarona D.Thau (Bug), D.Maus (Chubb), Magistaludorum (QIS), Octavium (Hons), PHGK (Blit), DMSK, Mack, D.Thau (Bra), Visiting Professor in Chickens (Jahn the Conqueror University (Floor 2, Shrimp Packers Building, Genua)), Primo Octo (Deux), Visiting Professor of Blit/Slood Exchanges (Al Khali), [=KCbfJ=], Reciprocating Professor of Blit Theory (Unki), D.Thau (Unki), Didimus Supremius (Unki), Emeritus Professor in Blit Substrate Determinations (Chubb), Chair of Blit and Music Studies (Quirm College for Young Ladies).
281	* TurnOutLikeHisFather: A touching version, once Trev comes to grips with [[spoiler:pride in his father's achievements versus anger over his ignoble death]].
282	-->'''Juliet:''' They said Dave Likely was your father.\
283	'''Trev:''' Well, yes, that's true.\
284	'''Juliet:''' Yes, but they used to say you were his son.
285	* TwoferTokenMinority: The unnamed {{Medusa}} female watch officer.
286	* TyopOnTheCover: One dust jacket has a synopsis that spells Vetinari as "Ventinari."
287	* UnseenNoMore: Seafood purveyor Verity Pushpram, hitherto only ever mentioned in passing as Nobby Nobbs' not-quite-girlfriend, actually makes a brief appearance here (and, unbeknown to herself, demonstrates to Glenda what Pepe meant by "crab bucket").
288	* VerbalTic: Juliet's habit of ending every sentence with "Din't it?" or "Didn't I?" or something similar, innit.
289	* VisualInnuendo: Glenda points out that the proposed uniform design with "UU" on the front resembles breasts. (Especially since wizards are usually rather fat to begin with.) Used again when Dibbler's bootleg memorabilia uses the original design, which actually had been the uniform for University teams in the past.
290	* WhamLine: Wham ''Word'', in fact. A word most Discworld readers never expected to see in the books: [[spoiler: ORC]].
291	* WhodunnitToMe: Not a major part of the book (Nutt ''knows'' Whodunnit To Him, but wasn't actually brought back ''by'' the Igor so is allowed to walk out of hospital), but it's implied that this is a part of Watch procedure, given that there's an actual rule where "if it took an Igor to bring you back, you were dead." I.E. your case would be pursued as a murder.
292	* WorldsMostBeautifulWoman: Juliet is described as pretty enough to make goddesses weep with jealousy.
293	* WorthyOpponent: Mr. Hoggett, captain of Ankh-Morpork United. Despite the fact that his team contains a number of jerks, cheats, and Andy Shank, he tries to play a fair game, ''apologizes'' to the ref for his team's illegal moves, and [[spoiler:punches out Andy Shank for mucking up what would otherwise have been a fair and square game in a personal SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.]]
294	* WrittenByTheWinners: The war against the Evil Empire is often referred to as this. For a start, calling it the "Evil Empire" implies that [[WarIsHell there were any good guys in that particular conflict]]. [[spoiler: ''Literature/{{Snuff}}'' demonstrates that even the universally-maligned goblins are subject to this trope, as they're ''always'' at the losing end of history.]]
295	* WrongGenreSavvy: Glenda knows trashy romance novel tropes backwards and forwards, and doesn't really get a handle on events until she ''stops'' thinking in those terms and starts working with EarnYourHappyEnding instead.
296	* XtremeKoolLetterz: Dr. Hix was the son of Mr. and Mrs. Hicks, but "any man who wears a black robe and a skull ring isn't going to pass up the chance to have an X in his name".
297	* YourPrincessIsInAnotherCastle: [[spoiler:'''"You think it's over?"''' Done ''three times''.]] A reference to a famous remark by the commentator at the end of the 1966 World Cup final: "They think it's all over..." ''(player shoots)'' "It is now!" ''(GOAL!)''
298	[[/folder]]
299
300	[[folder:Tropes found in the Audible radio drama]]
301	* AdaptationalAngstUpgrade: Noticable on several levels.
302	** Nutt has some more serious angst issues than in the book. He's ''terrified'' of the Sisters, whose mere presence reduces him to screams of panic.
303	** Dave Likely's death haunts Trev to a bigger degree, with several instances where we get a FlashbackCut to the event. He also suffers far more hardships and goes completely to pieces in a way he never did in the book.
304	** Juliet's family are openly abusive and her home life pretty miserable.
305	** Both the Trev/Juliet and the Glenda/Nutt relationships have had their angst levels taken up to eleven, with lots of drama, tears, PoorCommunicationKills and external forces getting in their way.
306	** Inverted, however, with Pepe, who's notably less cynical and more of an AdaptationalNiceGuy.
307	* AdaptationalIntelligence: Juliet, while still far from an intellectual, is notably less of TheDitz here than in the book.
308	* AdaptationalJerkass:
309	** Trev. In the book he's an amicable and friendly guy, who treats Mr Nutt with kindness from the start. Here, he's a total jerk towards him for much of the audio drama, though he does go through a bit of CharacterDevelopment and changes for the better.
310	** Dean Henry. In the book, despite the rivalry between Brazeneck and UU, he was the neutral party and trusted to be the referee in the big game. Here, he's actively against UU, and is the main force that unites the Dimmers and the Dollies in order to get the most brutal team to take them down. The role of referee in the game instead goes to Vimes.
311	* AdaptationNameChange: Street football has been renamed "mob ball." The name "football" or "foot-the-ball" is revealed to be the game's original name.
312	* ChekhovsSkill: Rincewind's incredible speed is mentioned early on when he plays the Megapode in the traditional Megapode hunt. During the big game, after the ball has been destroyed by Old Man Stollop who's trying to stop the Academicals from scoring more goals, Rincewind is the only one fast enough to run and fetch a new ball.
313	* CompositeCharacter: One of the main reasons for Trev's AdaptationalJerkass status is that his character and role has been combined with that of Smeems.
314	* DarkerAndEdgier: The audio drama is far more dramatic and violent than the book. The stakes are far higher; while in the books the mob ball riots were violent enough, they were kept contained to certain parts of the city where the Watch turned a blind eye. Here, the riots are threatening to ruin the city and have become so dangerous that even Vimes is considering resigning from the Watch in despair.
315	** The stakes are higher for the University as well; in the book they merely had to participate in a game in order to avoid a sizeable, but manageable budget cut. Here, they have to ''win'' a game, or suffer budget cuts so severe that they might have to close down the University altogether.
316	** Overall, everything is a lot more tense and on the brink of violence than in the book. Even Lord Vetinari and Lady Margolotta have a more tense relationship that borders on pseudo-antagonistic.
317	* DemotedToExtra: The radio drama focuses more clearly on Nutt, Glenda, Trev and Juliet, with Vetinari and (to an extent) Lady Margolotta as the most important secondary characters. Ridcully, the UU faculty, Madame Sharn and Pepe are still ''there'', and all of them get a number of scenes to shine, but they still have less focus than they did in the book.
318	* FlashbackCut: Several times during the audio drama, whenever Trev talks about not being able to play mob ball, we get a brief flashback to his father's death.
319	[[/folder]]

Context Literature / UnseenAcademicals