Line #14 Literature/Swellhead


1	A 2007 short story by horror writer Creator/KimNewman, part of his "Literature/DiogenesClub" sequence of stories featuring [[TheSeventies Seventies]] psychic detective / glam-rock fashion enthusiast Richard Jeperson. Unlike the other stories in this sequence, which are set around the 1960s-1970s, this one transplants Jeperson to the modern day. It's the 21st century WhereAreTheyNow {{Revival}} TV movie to the earlier stories' seventies action series.
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3	It's the new millennium, and strange things are afoot on the long-deserted and distant island of Skerra, located at the point where the borders between Britain and Iceland become vague. A survey team has disappeared, but not before sending back an unsettling discovery -- a bloody jacket, 1970s style, covered in the blood of two men; [[RetiredBadass long-retired psychic detective]] Richard Jeperson, and Sewell Head, a humble sweet-shop employee and pub quiz champion. Problem is, there's only one jacket like that in the world, Jeperson owns it, and he's certainly never fought Sewell Head to the death while wearing it. Convinced that the appearance of the second jacket means that bad things are afoot on Skerra, he is persuaded to come out of retirement and joins Head and others -- including Detective Sergeant Stacy Cotterill, sent by her boss (and Richard's old friend) to keep an eye on him, and pompous government scientist Adam Onions -- on a reconnaissance mission to find out exactly what's going on. Realities are beginning to weaken and merge together, however, and a dastardly evil -- Swellhead -- is rearing its head to finish a battle that may never have begun...
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5	So far, [[GrandFinale this is the last Richard Jeperson story]].[[note]]Unless you count ''Literature/AnnoDracula 1999: Daikaiju'', which stars a ''different'' Richard Jeperson.[[/note]]
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8	!!"Swellhead" provides examples of:
9	* AlternateHistory / AlternateUniverse: The story is about what happens when one of these [[RealityBleed begins to encroach on our reality]]. Hint -- bad things.
10	** In a meta-sense, as well as the alternate universe that forms the crux of the plot, the story also references and hints at several other {{Alternate Universe}}s and {{Alternate Histor\|y}}ies Kim Newman has written or co-written, including ''Literature/AnnoDracula'', the ''Literature/BackInTheUSSA'' stories and an as-yet unpublished sequence in a Nazi-occupied Britain. Not to mention the ''Literature/{{Temps}}'' SharedUniverse; a very different Sewell Head first appeared in "Pitbull Brittan", Newman's contribution to the first ''Temps'' anthology.
11	** In a further meta-sense, while 'our' Richard Jeperson's adventures affectionately homage 1970s ITC-style television adventure serials, from what we learn the AlternateUniverse Jeperson apparently starred in a series of 1970s Film/JamesBond-style spy movies.
12	* AppropriatedAppellation: [[spoiler:Sewell Head takes on his childhood nickname of "Swellhead" when he becomes a supervillain.]]
13	* ArchNemesis: Jeperson for Swellhead. [[spoiler:And the reason his plot fails, due to Swellhead's need for a WorthyOpponent who, according to tradition, will defeat him at the last moment.]]
14	* AsskickingLeadsToLeadership: The long-departed native Skerrans were a matriarchal society in miniature, with leadership being up for grabs if any woman could best the current leader (Droning) in a no-holds-barred fight. [[spoiler: Stacy winds up becoming the new Droning when she defeats Miss Kill, although she certainly doesn't intend to claim the title of a frigid island with nothing but nasty goats and worse memories.]]
15	* BoringButPractical: Stacy defeats Miss Kill's SheFu with some down-to-earth self-defense moves including, in the last resort, [[UseYourHead headbutting her]].
16	* BraggingThemeTune: Jeperson suggests Swellhead have one for himself, and actually thinks up some lines.
17	* CollapsingLair: Due to Swellhead's defeat, his ability to change reality fades; including the ElaborateUndergroundBase.
18	* ContinuityNod: The Institute for Psi Tech, the NGO that employs Adam Onions, first appeared in Newman's novel ''Literature/{{Jago}}'', which also has a one-scene appearance by a rookie WPC named Stacy Cotterill.
19	* CrosswordPuzzle: Adam Onions and Sewell Head both have subscriptions to a high-end crossword magazine that "scorned newspaper distribution. The publishers set an entrance exam for the subscription list, charging on a sliding scale, lower price for higher grades." The smug Onions pays £1,000 a year for the privilege of being counted a subscriber. Head gets his for free.
20	* DifferentWorldDifferentMovies: The ElaborateUndergroundBase contains books, music and technology from the AlternateHistory it's originated from -- such as the {{novelization}} of ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'' by Creator/StanleyKubrick and ''Creator/RayBradbury''; however, this serves to weaken the perspective of those inside it and get them to accept its reality. At one point, Jeperson begins to think he's going senile because of it.
21	* DiscoDan: Both Richard Jeperson and Swellhead, in different ways; Richard, in his 'groovy' seventies gear, is completely behind the times -- however, he's cheerfully accepted it and is comfortable in his niche. Swellhead is also behind the times -- [[spoiler:he holds all pop music since about 1973 in contempt, which comes back to haunt him]] -- but one of the reasons he's doing what he's doing is to force everyone to like what he likes.
22	* DisproportionateRetribution: Swellhead has killed childhood bullies plus anyone who has annoyed him in any way, e.g. by singing awful pop songs.
23	* DoingInTheScientist: Adam Onions. [[spoiler:Quite literally.]]
24	* DressingAsTheEnemy: It works well until Swellhead tells his FacelessGoons to take their helmets off.
25	* ElaborateUndergroundBase: One seems to have appeared out of nowhere under the island of Skerra: [[spoiler:Turns out, it actually ''has'' appeared out of nowhere; or at least, an AlternateUniverse.]]
26	* {{Egopolis}}: Swellhead's base is a small-scale version of one. He orders his minions to worship him, he has trophies of his accomplishments everywhere, [[spoiler:he has a trophy room with the heads of the people he hates he has murdered, and his EvilPlan is to expand the base's reality until the world is nothing more than a billion illusions and him the sole remaining true human.]]
27	* EvilGenius: Franklin Yoland notes that whoever built the base beneath Skerra was a decade ahead of modern technology, using components from ''three decades ago''.
28	* ExploringTheEvilLair: Justified as it's their job to find out why the SupervillainLair is there in the first place.
29	* FairCop: Detective Sergeant Cotterill. Lampshaded; it's explicitly mentioned she was a professional model before she joined the force.
30	* GeniusSweetTooth: Sewell Head has a fondness for chocolates and sweeties.
31	* GenreSavvy: The villain, Swellhead, is correctly convinced he's a Bond-style villain and uses his RealityWarper powers to make this the case. [[spoiler:Unfortunately for him, he inadvertently uses this to strengthen Richard Jeperson's own power; every villain needs a hero worthy enough to challenge him, after all...]]
32	* GovernmentAgencyOfFiction: The Diogenes Club, of course, although we learn it's been shut down since the Thatcher years. The successor group is I-Psi-T (pronounced "eyesight").
33	* GrandTheftMe: A particularly insidious example; [[spoiler:Sewell Head is gradually taken over by Swellhead, an AlternateUniverse version of himself who happens to be a Bond-style supervillain. He then proceeds to do the same to other members of the party; it's implied that everyone there in one way or another has an alternate self who is somehow involved.]]
34	* HesBack: The entire story is Richard Jeperson coming out of a [[TenMinuteRetirement twenty-five year retirement]] to sort out his messes. He initially lampshades this, insisting that this isn't going to be "Richard Jeperson Rides Again". He gradually comes to realize what a mistake he made in retiring, however, [[spoiler:and the ending all but states outright that Richard Jeperson is back in the game for real...]]
35	* HauntedHouse: [[spoiler:More like a Haunted ElaborateUndergroundBase. Which itself turns out to be the actual ghost.]]
36	* HumanChess: Mentioned as a NoodleIncident when Jeperson starts remembering events from the alternate reality; played on an estate in Surrey, on a board with electrified squares.
37	* HumanHeadOnTheWall: Swellhead's lair includes a hallway where the [[DecapitationPresentation heads of his enemies]] (plus anyone else he has a grudge against) are displayed like hunting trophies, along with [[PastVictimShowcase listing the means of their demise]].
38	* {{Hustler}}: Sewell Head is a nerdy variant, with pub trivia quiz contests instead of billiards.
39	* InTheirOwnImage: Swellhead plans to reshape the entire world from his imagination.
40	* IslandBase: The logistical impossibility of building a secret base on an isolated island, without leaving a paper trail or accidentally allowing someone to notice, is lampshaded by Franklin Yoland.
41	* JustBetweenYouAndMe: Subverted with a lampshade; Swellhead claims he's not an inadequate who needs everyone to understand his plan. However, Jeperson is clever enough to figure it out anyway.
42	* KarmicDeath: Swellhead has inflicted these on people who [[FreudianExcuse bullied him in the past]]; a DrillSergeantNasty shot with a .303 rifle, a taunting AlphaBitch with her trachea crushed, etc. [[spoiler:He bashes in Adam Onions' head with his own laptop (which the narration makes clear [[StrawVulcan he trusts more than a human]]) when the man [[OffingTheMouth annoys him a bit too much]].]]
43	* KneelBeforeZod: "I should like you all to take a moment to pray...[[AGodAmI to me]]."
44	* LaughingMad: At one point while trying to hide among Swellhead's men, Stacy sees their ridiculous StrangeSalute and has to force herself not to start laughing, because she's still utterly terrified and is afraid that if she starts she'll never stop out of sheer panic.
45	* LoadBearingBoss: [[spoiler:As soon as Swellhead dies for good, the ElaborateUndergroundBase begins collapsing both physically and metaphysically, fading out of existence as it fills with seawater.]]
46	* LotusPosition: Given that Jeperson's not as young as he used to be, he needs some assistance assuming the position. [[LevitatingLotusPosition Levitation]] comes in handy however when Swellhead [[SharkPool tries opening a trapdoor beneath him]].
47	* MagicVersusScience: An old argument between Jeperson, who takes the magic side, and Onions, who takes the science side. It's played with, however, in that Jeperson isn't exactly "anti-science" per se -- he just opposes Onions' particular brand of blinkered, self-serving [[JustThinkOfThePotential "practical applications"]] (i.e. how-can-we-exploit-this-for-personal-gain) approach.
48	* MundaneObjectAmazement: A sign that Swellhead has [[spoiler:fully taken over Sewell Head is his sudden fascination with the compactness of a laptop computer. That and using it to [[ImprovisedWeapon bash the owner's head in]].]]
49	* MysteriousWoman: Inverted with Miss Kill.
50	* MutualKill: It's implied that the final conflict between the AlternateUniverse versions of Richard Jeperson and Swellhead ended in one of these.
51	* MyBrainIsBig: There's a reason they call him Swellhead!
52	* MyEyesAreUpHere: When they first meet Stacy, Jeperson looks at her face while Onions looks at her body.
53	* NoodleImplements: When discussing her backstory, Stacy reveals that she [[FairCop had originally planned on modelling]] but her career opportunities dried up because she refused to have her wisdom teeth removed[[note]]It's common for this to be done under the reasoning that it slims the jawline and adds definition to the face[[/note]]. Jeperson approves, and in doing so implies that there's a hidden dark, Satanic-ritual-style reason why this is done.
54	* ObstructiveBureaucrat: Adam Onions (It's pronounced Oh-NYE-ons), a pompous little man who's so consumed by using his special scanners to explore every single tree he comes across that he completely fails to notice that he's gotten trapped in a particularly nasty forest. To read; [[spoiler:he's so busy looking for evidence of ghosts that that he doesn't realize -- or accept -- that the ''entire structure he's in'' is one large ghost.]] Because he and Richard have a long-standing enmity, he's also quick to smirkingly dismiss anything Jeperson says. This comes back to bite him ''hard''.
55	* ParrotPetPosition: Stacy arrives at Richard's house to call him out of retirement and finds him walking around with a Siamese cat perched on his shoulder (and a Persian kitten peeking out of his coat pocket).
56	* PopularHistory: In-universe; at one point, Richard Jeperson alludes to [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1973_oil_crisis petrol shortages and power cuts]], television stations ceasing transmission at 10.30pm and a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Provisional_Irish_Republican_Army_campaign_1969%E2%80%931997#Attacks_outside_Northern_Ireland terrorist bombing campaign against the mainland United Kingdom]] occurring in 1973. One of the other characters immediately declares that none of that happened, he's delusional and confusing TheSeventies with UsefulNotes/WorldWarII. All of that, of course, very much ''did'' happen; because she's an idiot, however, Jeperson is more amused than offended.
57	* PowerIncontinence: Jeperson has been living in seclusion for over twenty years because the world has been falling more and more into turmoil, and since he ''can't turn his ESP off'' going outside has been increasingly painful and disorienting. He ultimately decides, however, that withdrawing from the outside world was a mistake, given the lives he still could have saved.
58	* PronouncingMyNameForYou: Adam Onions has to explain that his surname is pronounced "Oh-NYE-ons".
59	* RaceAgainstTheClock: [[spoiler:Unfortunately this works against Swellhead, as the good guys stop it at the last second, just like the movies he's based his supervillain character on.]]
60	* RealityWarper: [[spoiler:Sewell Head / Swellhead. His supervillain plan is essentially to recreate all of reality inside his head.]]
61	* RedRightHand: A henchman with a mechanical cutting hand, and the aptly-named Swellhead. Honorable mention goes to Miss Kill's wax mask of herself.
62	* RetiredBadass: Richard Jeperson. Partly deconstructed, in that it's frequently pointed out -- and he increasingly comes to realize and accept -- that if he'd stayed in the game rather than retiring, things would have been a lot different, he could have made a lot more difference, and people might even still be alive. [[spoiler:The ending implies HesBack for good.]]
63	* SendInTheSearchTeam
64	* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: While doing research into Skerra's past, Jeperson finds that the Ministry of Defence has over the years used her island for naval exercises and anthrax testing, despite it ostensibly being an independent country and without bothering to get permission from the Droning of Skerra.
65	* SharkPool: Seeing how the place looks like a classic SupervillainLair, Percy Gill asks where the alligator pit is. Sewell Head presses a button on the CoolChair and Jeperson nearly falls into the trapdoor that opens in front of him.
66	* ShrineToSelf: Plenty of statues of himself and SigilSpam, but that's not enough for the BigBad.
67	* ShootTheTelevision: Richard shoots the television in his room in the ElaborateUndergroundBase because he suspects it might be spying on him. It is never established if it was or not but, given everything else Richard learns about the base, it is probably a sensible precaution.
68	* SinisterSweetTooth: Sewell Head has a fondness for chocolates and sweeties. [[spoiler:As he becomes possessed by his alternate-reality self, his rate of consumption increases.]]
69	* SmugSnake: The smarmy New Labour civil servant "Really-A-Good-Bloke" Rory.
70	* StrangeSalute: Swellhead's troopers salute him by placing a closed fist on their forehead; Stacy, observing this, struggles not to laugh (which would probably get her killed) as it's what kids use to say "knobhead".
71	* TakeOverTheWorld: Or actually [[spoiler:becoming the entire world.]]
72	* TemptingFate (InUniverse): Jeperson sits in a LotusPosition on top of the trapdoor someone has just fallen through. This is to shake the confidence of the villain, who regards him as a WorthyOpponent.
73	* TooDumbToLive: Onions's persistence that there must be some rational explanation (well, rational [[SmugSnake by his standards]], and he definitely won't accept Jeperson's) to what is going on annoys Head, and eventually when Sewell Head is taken over by Swellhead, Onions [[RageBreakingPoint annoys him once too many]] by reminding him that his last name is pronounced "Oh-NYE-ons". [[spoiler:Swellhead smashes his head in with his own laptop computer]].
74	* UpperClassTwit: Persephone Gill is the hereditary princess (Droning) of the island of Skerra. She's a narcissistic idiot who thinks that [[Literature/NineteenEightyFour George Orwell]] wrote ''[[Literature/TheSpaceOdysseySeries 2001: A Space Odyssey]]''.
75	* VisionsOfAnotherSelf: At one point, Richard starts having flashbacks to things that happened to the alternate Richard who battled the supervillain Swellhead -- and then a brief burst of flashbacks from a large number of other alternate Richards. (Most of them are shout-outs to Creator/KimNewman's many other alternate history stories, including two -- the ''Literature/AnnoDracula'' story "Who Dares Wins" and the stand-alone "The Man on the Clapham Omnibus" -- which actually did feature alternate Richards.)
76	* WhatMeasureIsAMook: Played with. Most of the Mooks and EvilMinions in Swellhead's base are ghosts, but some -- particularly the EliteMooks -- are possessed reality-warped real people. At one point, a minion falls into the machinery moving a giant satellite dish along a track and is instantly reduced to a red smear, but Swellhead plainly doesn't care and Jeperson refrains from pointing it out.
77	* WickedCultured: Parodied; the villain is massively intelligent and knows pretty much everything, but a) his cultural leanings are decidedly cheesy (he likes Burt Bacharach, and has muzak versions of MOR songs playing in his ElaborateUndergroundBase) and b) he is actually ''defeated'' by his lack of knowledge of the younger generation's pop culture.
78	* WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds: The villain's main motivation is resentment over being picked on and overlooked all his life. When Richard points out his endgame will leave him all alone, in a universe populated by figments of his own imagination, his response is:
79	-->"I'm used to it."
80	* WorthyOpponent: In both the AlternateUniverse and this one, Swellhead clearly considers this of Richard Jeperson. [[spoiler:It ends up being his undoing, as Swellhead's RealityWarper powers inadvertently serve to make Jeperson more powerful -- because every villain needs a hero who can challenge them...]]
81	* YourHeadAsplode: [[spoiler: When Jeperson and Stacy give him a pop-culture question he doesn't know the answer to, the system Swellhead's connected his own brain to suffers a catastrophic failure, and his head erupts into a red cloud with such force that Miss Kill is struck through the eye by a sharp chunk of his skull and dies instantly.]]
82	* YourMimeMakesItReal: Stacy whimsically pretends to shoot at a ghost with a FingerGun -- and it reacts as if it had actually been shot.
83	* {{Zeerust}}: Yoland lampshades how things in the old days had to be big and impressive (like Swellhead's satellite dish) to attract funding, but now everything is expected to be smaller. Sure enough, the villain is quite intrigued by Yoland's laptop.

Context Literature / Swellhead