Line #86 Literature/JetlagTravelGuides


1	[[quoteright:301:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/jetlagtravel.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:300: Clockwise from top-left: ''[[{{Ruritania}} Molvanîa: A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry]]'', ''[[HolidayInCambodia Phaic Tăn: Sunstroke on a Shoestring]]'', ''[[BananaRepublic San Sombrèro: A Land of Carnivals, Cocktails and Coups]]'' and ''Traditional Molvanîan Baby Names: With Meanings, Derivations And Probable Pronunciations''.]]
3	->'''''Szlengro!''''' [[labelnote:Translation]]''Welcome!''[[/labelnote]]
4
5	The ''Jetlag Travel Guides'' are a collection of books [[{{Parody}} parodying]] travelling guides, relying on RapidFireComedy and the perceived [[NationalStereotypes stereotypes]] surrounding the people living in the regions portrayed within. The books were written by [[UsefulNotes/{{Australia}} Australian]] comedians [[Creator/{{WorkingDogProductions}} Santo Cilauro, Tom Gleisner and Rob Sitch]] of ''Series/TheDGeneration'' fame.
6
7	The guides all feature a FictionalCountry, all [[ExaggeratedTrope exaggerated versions]] of stereotypes about [[RealLife real-world]] regions. The first and most well-known of the guides is ''Molvanîa: A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry'', released in 2003. Its popularity spawned two sequels, ''Phaic Tăn: Sunstroke on a Shoestring'', released in 2004, and ''San Sombrèro: A Land of Carnivals, Cocktails and Coups'', released in 2006, as well as a SpinOff called ''Traditional Molvanîan Baby Names: With Meanings, Derivations And Probable Pronunciations'', released in 2011.
8
9	All of the books look and feel like actual travel books made by real companies, such as ''Cadogan'' or ''Lonely Planet'' guides, complete with information about history, culture, maps and special offers for other (nonexistent) guides. Some people have even been fooled into thinking the countries present actually exist. Each book features several "contributors", such as [[FrenchJerk Philippe Miseree]], who is present in all of the main three guides. The jokes are mostly [[{{Squick}} scatological]] and sexual in nature, with [[{{Pun}} puns]] and BaitAndSwitch comments of all kinds being present. The RapidFireComedy and exploitation of stereotypes will make the reader either suffer from uncontrollable laughter or feel offended.
10
11	An official [[http://www.molvania.com/ site]] and an [[http://www.148apps.com/app/386883403/ app]] have been created containing several other countries without physically published guides. In addition, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0bwBbybwb4 an anthem]] for Molvanîa, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Mtq9Z3Ya0 a clip of a soap opera]] for Phaic Tăn, and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H28aMhlYZYo a dance]] for San Sombrèro have been made and uploaded to Website/YouTube. Molvanîa even has an [[Series/{{EurovisionSongContest}} Eurovision]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA_NS7nwmzQ entry]]! Molvanîa is also the birthplace of Zladko, of ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNyG-xu-7SQ Elektronik Supersonik]]'' fame.
12	----
13	!!The Jetlag Travel Guides provide examples for the following tropes:
14
15	[[foldercontrol]]
16
17	[[folder:General]]
18	* AnachronismStew: Most of the countries contain a blend of ancient or pre-WWII structures combined with modern hotels.
19	** PlayedForLaughs in Phaic Tăn, where ancient temples have modern steel doors.
20	* BaitAndSwitch: The heart and soul of the series. All types are present.
21	* BarBrawl: Referenced constantly. If a bar is listed under "Inexpensive" then this is what you can expect.
22	* BlackComedy: Jokes about poverty and people dying in weird ways are the norm.
23	* {{Bulungi}}: Several other countries are mentioned in the guides, among them ''Bongoswana'' and ''Despotswana'', African nations with brutal colonial pasts.
24	* CorruptPolitician[=/=]CorruptBureaucrat: Lots of them can be found in the governments of all three countries to get published guides.
25	* CultureChopSuey: All of the countries presented in the guides are a mish-mash of stereotypes from the region in which they belong. Molvanîa represents all of central and eastern Europe, Phaic Tăn represents Southeast Asia, and San Sombrèro represents Central America.
26	* DirtyCommunists: Molvanîa is an ex-soviet republic, and the populace isn't exactly the friendliest. Meanwhile, several guerilla groups in Phaic Tăn have adopted Maoism.
27	* {{Fictionary}}: The guides all feature useful phrases, such as greetings and requests to not be shot.
28	** Even San Sombrèro, where Spanish is spoken, contains words unique to the country, mostly US neologisms, like "drivebyshooting".
29	* ForeignQueasine: Many of the dishes discussed in the guides range from mildly off-putting to absolutely revolting.
30	* FrenchJerk: Philippe acts condescendingly to basically everyone he meets. [[DownplayedTrope Downplayed]], as he doesn't use french words, unlike [[BigEater Jonathan]].
31	* HurricaneOfPuns: All of the foreign names are basically English-language puns. For instance, ''Whét pù'' apparently means [[{{Squick}} diarrhoe]] in Phaic Tăn's language, or San Sombrèro's ''San Abandonio'' city. ''Phaic Tăn'' is pronounced as "fake tan". Some puns are specifically ''Australian'' English puns, such as the city of ''Bung Lung'' ("bung" in Australian English meaning "failed").
32	* LethalChef: Everything that street vendors sell will give you ''some'' type of disease.
33	* LongingForFictionland: Some people would really like to visit these wonderful countries.
34	* NamedworldAndNamedland: The Nordic country of ''Pfaffländ''.
35	* NoOSHACompliance: ''Nothing'' has ''any'' compliance whatsoever in these places.
36	* ProperlyParanoid: [[ZigZaggedTrope Zig-zagged]] with Tina Payne. Sometimes people really are trying to steal her stuff (jokes about stolen wallets are omnipresent), but sometimes she will refuse to even look out of the window of a bus in fear of getting her luggage stolen.
37	* {{Qurac}}: The Unaudited Arab Emirates, a {{Pun}} on the UsefulNotes/UnitedArabEmirates, is mentioned several times in the guides. The country is a desert republic and a "shopper's paradise", full of luxurious hotels and [=BMWs=].
38	* RapidFireComedy: How most of the books operate. Every page will have roughly three paragraphs with two jokes each, pictures with a caption underneath, or fact boxes/tips from one of the contributors. With about 6 jokes per page, you'll be hard pressed to not find something that at least makes you smile.
39	* RougeAnglesOfSatin: There are several paragraphs throughout the books clarifying a typo made in a previous edition. For instance, a note on one of the restaurants says that it was described as "appealing" when, in fact, it should have read "appalling".
40	* RunningGag: Several:
41	** Across all of the books, the poor hotels and their large distance from the town centre, despite being described as "central", pools which lack water etc.
42	** In ''Molvanîa'', tips about avoiding gypsy beggars.
43	** In ''Phaic Tăn'', Her Royal Highness Queen Suahm Luprang's weight is mentioned constantly.
44	* StockFootage: Several of the pictures used are stock images, a few appearing twice in the same book.
45	* TakeThat: To all travel guides who persuade you to visit the country/region which they talk about, ''especially'' the ''Lonely Planet'' guides. None of the places portrayed in the Jetlag Travel Guides are worth visiting (or safe).
46	[[/folder]]
47
48	[[folder:Molvanîa]]
49	* TheAllegedCar: The guide makes mention of the national car, the ''Skumpta''. The car is described as having a single headlight, a three cylinder engine, and a candlelit interior. The car is also said to have performed best out of four leading European car models in a crash test involving being driven into a wall at 60 kph, but that's because the car broke down repeatedly and never reached the wall.
50	* ArtisticLicenseGeography: Molvanîa apparently borders Germany, Slovakia, Slovenia, Hungary, and Romania.
51	* BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy: Molvanîans claim, among other things, that one of the thieves which were crucified next to UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}} was Molvanîan and that the 30 pieces of silver given to Judas actually came from the town of Dzrebo.
52	* TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch: The "Father of Modern Molvanîa", Szlonko Busjbusj, died of natural causes: "he was assassinated".
53	* GirlsWithMoustaches: Saint Cvorbcek, a woman, is described as a "bearded figure".
54	* {{Gonk}}: The man on the cover.
55	* HammerAndSickle: The book explains the presence of a modified version of this symbol on Molvanîa's national flag:
56	-->''"After the fall of the Iron Curtain, Molvania was the only ex-Soviet state to retain the hammer and sickle. So enamoured were they with the symbols of workers' unity, they added a third tool - the trowel."''
57	* TheMafiya: Aside from the home-grown Slavic Molvanîan mafia, the Russian mafia is also present, many of its members being foreign dignitaries.
58	* NonIndicativeName: Despite the nation's flag being called the ''Trikolor'', it has only two colours: red and yellow.
59	* OverlyLongName: In the town of Dzrebo, there is "The Church of the Blessed Holy Sisters of the Discalced Flower of the Immaculate Virgin Incarnate".
60	* RidiculousFutureInflation: The guide [[{{Parody}} parodies]] the hyper-inflation faced by UsefulNotes/TheWeimarRepublic. An enigmatic leader of the country faced widespread inflation, the book mentioning that the people had to carry wheelbarrows of money to purchase simple goods. The leader solved this problem by declaring wheelbarrows legal tender.
61	* {{Ruritania}}: An [[ExaggeratedTrope exaggeration]] of the worst aspects of the trope. The country is an ex-Soviet republic run by the mafia, everyone is poor, the country is embroiled in a war with UsefulNotes/{{Romania}}, the language is hideously difficult to learn, the people are unfriendly and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the cafes are over-priced]].
62	* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: The Vcetrezen art gallery has a minimalist style, with one room being completely empty, save for a small fire-hose. Philippe, of course, thinks it is high art, better than the "populist" national art gallery.
63	* UglySlavicWomen: Local Molvanîan women are described as very, very hairy.
64	* VodkaDrunkenski: Aside from Vodka, garlic brandy (''zeerstum'') is also very popular with the citizens of Molvanîa.
65	[[/folder]]
66
67	[[folder:Phaic Tăn]]
68	* AdiposeRex: Her Royal Highness Queen Suahm Luprang's weight is a RunningGag.
69	* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: The doctor in the ''Hospital of Hearts'' clip speaks in vaguely Korean-sounding gibberish.
70	* BigEater: Jonathan Quibble, who writes "for the luxury traveller". He is awaiting quadruple bypass surgery.
71	* BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce: ''Sambal'' is a concoction of shallots, turmaeric, onion, ginger garlic and red pepper, used in food and for treating colic in babies.
72	* BlindWithoutEm: Nearly everyone in Phaic Tăn has poor eyesight. Wedding couples even ceremonially exchange glasses.
73	* BoomerangBigot[=/=]SelfDeprecation: It is mentioned in the description of one of Phaic Tăn's restaurants that, because no drinks are allowed, you won't be bothered by [[LandDownUnder Australian]] tourists.
74	* BreadEggsMilkSquick: Appears in the list of payment abbreviations used when recommending restaurants:
75	--> "'''Credit Card Abbreviations'''
76	--> AE      American Express
77	--> DC      Diners Club
78	--> MC      Master Card
79	--> V         Visa
80	--> CO      Cash Only
81	--> OD      Or Drugs"
82	* BruceLeeClone: Trong Tchen, kickboxing champion who starred in a number of action films, including a movie adaptation of Theatre/{{Hamlet}}.
83	* CoolHelmet: Military rank is indicated by the size of one's helmet.
84	* [[FatBastard Fat Bitch]]: Mentioning Her Royal Highness Queen Suahm Luprang's "ample girth" is punishable by law.
85	* GratuitousFrench: Jonathan Quibble is "a self-confessed ''connoisseur'', ''bon vivant'' and ''user-excessif'' of the French language".
86	* HolidayInCambodia: Phaic Tăn presents virtually all of the subtropes associated with Southeast Asian stereotypes: jungles, guerilla warfare, near-constant rain, Buddhism and others.
87	* ImprobableWeaponUser: Phaic Tănese warriors carried the "traditional attack arrow".
88	* InterfaithSmoothie: PlayedForLaughs:
89	-->''"Whilst primarily Buddhist, over the years the people of [[{{Pun}} Sukkondat]] have absorbed a wide variety of religious influences, including '''UsefulNotes/{{Taoism}}''', '''Animism''', '''UsefulNotes/{{Hinduism}}''' and '''UsefulNotes/{{Sikhism}}'''. Because of this the dominant religion throughout the province could best be described as '''[[{{pun}} Confusionism]]'''."''
90	* LegoGenetics: Phaic Tănese botanists have apparently managed to graft watermelon with cressantheum and orchids with kidney beans.
91	* MixAndMatchCritters: In the famous allegory ''The Ranayayan'', ''Tekhnah'' is "the god of disappointment, features the head of an elephant, the body of a horse and [[TeenyWeenie the genitalia of a wood mouse]]".
92	* NumerologicalMotif: [[ExaggeratedTrope Exaggerated]] and [[{{Parody}} parodied]]. Phaic Tăn has 3 very lucky numbers (12, 57, 4189), over 300 lucky numbers, a "mildly auspicious" number (4993), and two unlucky numbers (3 and 6). An entire appendix is needed to list them all.
93	* OddJobGods: The Phaic Tănese mythology has a few, including ''Lahksma'', the goddess of middle distance running, and ''Tekhnah'', the god of disappointment.
94	* OurMermaidsAreDifferent: A famous Phaic Tănese allegory, ''The Ranayayan'', contains the character of ''Kiamya'': "a traditional Phaic Tanese mermaid, featuring the body of a woman and the head of a garfish".
95	* PelvicThrust: A common gesture among the Phaic Tănese people:
96	-->''"As in many Asian cultures, it is considered rude to point with the finger. If you need to indicate a direction or signify something, do so with a series of sharp pelvic thrusts that will generally get the message across."''
97	* ThePerformerKing: King Tralanhng fancies himself a talented musician and composer. [[DreadfulMusician The reality is very different]]. Likely a parody of King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand's musical achievements.
98	* TheRevolutionWillNotBeCivilized: In a list of [=NGOs=], a charity dedicated to demining minefields directly precedes a rebel group dedicated to ''re''mining them.
99	* TheScrooge: Sven Teitarssen, who writes "for the budget traveller". He will do anything to save money, even ludicrously small amounts (like 8 cents), such as, for instance, taking the batteries out of the hotel room TV remote.
100	* ShoddyKnockoffProduct: Several counterfeit goods sold in Phaic Tănese markets come with a "Certificate of Inauthenticity".
101	* ShowWithinAShow: The soap opera ''Hospital of Hearts'', a clip of which you can watch [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Mtq9Z3Ya0 here]].
102	* TeenyWeenie: Tekhnah is described as having "the genitalia of a wood mouse".
103	* TranslationYes: An ancient sign discovered in Phaic Tăn has some very lengthy writing which translates as "Beware of Dog".
104	* UmbrellaDrink: One of Phaic Tăn's biggest exports is the small paper umbrella which is put in cocktail glasses.
105	* WhenItRainsItPours: The country has ludicrously high annual rainfall, always exceeding 500mm. The only months with ''very slightly'' less than average rainfall are June and July. This is the ideal time to visit.
106	[[/folder]]
107
108	[[folder:San Sombrèro]]
109	* AlcoholicParent: PlayedForLaughs. Heavyweight boxer Luis Gonzales developed unusual physical strength because he had to carry his father home from the local pub most nights.
110	* AscendedToCarnivorism: The country is home to a species of meat-eating tapir. Attempts to train them for racing were abandoned when one ate its jockey.
111	* BananaRepublic: San Sombrèro is a Central-American nation run by warlords, suffering from endless military coups.
112	* BeastlyBloodsports: Bullfighting has a large following in San Sombrèro, though their take on the sport has a unique twist: a fourth act where [[ItMakesSenseInContext the trumpeter gets hog-tied]].
113	* CigarChomper: The ''bollivquar'' indigenous people have sombreroes which double as ashtrays.
114	* TheCoup: San Sombrèro is estimated to have one an average of every three months.
115	* CurbStompBattle: The Metizo people confronted the Spanish conquistadores with brightly painted masks. It ended poorly; the Spanish won a crushing victory, with no deaths and only one injury (one of their officers sprained his ankle during an overly energetic victory dance).
116	* FakeShemp: ''El Pauncho Lives!'' was shot several months after the death of the title character's actor. His replacement was a poorly-matched body double who spent much of his screentime falling off a horse in long-shots.
117	* TheGeneralissimo: San Sombrèro has had a lot of these.
118	* GirlsWithMoustaches: The book discusses a Portuguese girl named Isobel Alvarra who spontaneously grew a beard to prove to her parents she was serious about becoming a sailor.
119	* GranolaGirl: Helena Ddø̈rk (the "ø" has an umlaut, creating a letter which doesn't exist), an eco-tourism expert, will do anything to protect the environment, up to and including not stepping on the ground.
120	* MilitaryCoup: San Sombrèro has had ''a lot'' of these. The first one occurred three days after the first elections, in an event known as "the stillbirth of the nation".
121	* MortonsFork: La Diabla flogged one young man for making sexual advances towards her, and another for failing to do so.
122	* MyHovercraftIsFullOfEels: Silvio Enrique's song "You Drive Me Crazy" was mistranslated into English as "You Crazy Driver".
123	* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Luis Gonzales has a few elements of George Foreman in him, most notably him selling cooking appliances.
124	* PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny: According to the book the "full and technically correct" name of San Sombrèro is the "Democratic Free People's United Republic of San Sombrèro". The country is run by warlords.
125	* PirateGirl: The feared pirate "La Diabla" was a woman, albeit one who could [[GirlsWithMoustaches grow impressive facial hair]].
126	* ReallyGetsAround: San Sombrèro's first official governor, Estrillio Vellasquez, had numerous illegitimate children.
127	* RevolvingDoorRevolution: To an absurd degree. Saying San Sombrèro changes its government as often as most people change their sheets would only be a ''slight'' exaggeration.
128	* SnakesAreSinister: San Sombrèro has 23 species of venomous snakes, some of which have been known to attack out of boredom.
129	* SoapWithInAShow: Latin American ''telenovelas'' are lampooned in the book, with one show being notable for ''not'' having any characters get amnesia (the scriptwriters were a different story).
130	* StronglyWordedLetter: Natives responded to Captain Estremoz's landing party with a strongly-worded smoke signal.
131	[[/folder]]
132
133	[[folder:Molvanîan Baby Names]]
134	* MeaningfulName: All of the names listed have an usually hilarious meaning attached to them.
135	* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: ''Bzerkje'' means "berserk", among others.
136	* SpinOff: The book was released much later and is not part of the main series of guides.
137	* TheUnpronounceable: Nearly all of the names listed. Molvanîan is an extremely difficult language to learn, after all.
138	[[/folder]]

Context Literature / JetlagTravelGuides