Line #3 Literature/ElfslayerChronicles


1	->''"/tg/, I'm a dick"''
2
3	[[https://1d6chan.miraheze.org/wiki/Elfslayer_Chronicles The Elfslayer Chronicles]] is the given name for a series of 4Chan posts in December of 2009 by an Anonymous player (a human illusionist) detailing a series of ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' games played over IRC. Over five separate threads, OP details how he successfully [[OffTheRails turned a campaign about]] restoring peace to the elven lands into a [[XanatosGambit dangerous game of escaping punishment]] for murdering their own prince.
4
5	----
6	!!''Elfslayer Chronicles'' provides examples of:
7
8	* AlwaysChaoticEvil: Humans, as expected in a [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters story like this]]. They're described as being hidebound, homophobic, greedy, elf-hating warmongers. The fun starts when OP decides to start [[ThenLetMeBeEvil playing his (human) character as a hidebound, homophobic, greedy, elf-hating warmonger]]. After killing off the Elf Captain of the Guard, OP avoids sending news of his victory back to the human kingdom for fear that the DM will use this trope against him by having his superiors [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness kill him]] and claim credit for his actions.
9	* ArtifactDomination: Discussed and defied. When OP finds an orb offering great power, he makes sure to only move it using a shovel and to not directly interact with it.
10	* ArtifactOfDoom: The Eye of Blight (really, what could you expect with [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast a name like that]]?). It was once a magical weapon of execution, and could rot anyone who held it away within seconds. OP is smart enough to not touch it, instead just flitting it away with a shovel.
11	* AuthorAppeal: The DM built the campaign around elves and yaoi, both of which she loves. The only reason dwarves and tieflings are allowed as player characters is that she doesn't like them, so she is fine with them being allied with the "evil humans".
12	* BagOfHolding: OP exploits one to kill and frame the Royal Guard; he chops him into pieces and puts the pieces into his Bag of Holding, disguises his familiar as the Guard, kills the familiar in a manner similar to how he killed the Guard (causing it to disappear), and dumps all the pieces on the ground to make it look like his victim was trying to flee and got rightfully killed for resisting arrest.
13	* BatmanGambit: Elements of this. OP, out of character, told the DM he was attempting to lure out any assassins in order for the DM to allow his sneaking around to go on undisturbed. Not only that, but OP's act of murder was carried out in such a way that at the very ''least'', it would cause a diplomatic incident that would unravel any political goodwill between the two factions.
14	* BeAsUnhelpfulAsPossible: When the elves question the party about the Prince's murder, the Rumbling Brothers spend the whole time screwing with the interrogators. They weren't intentionally aiding OP's plan, [[ElvesVsDwarves they just hate elves as much as he does]].
15	* BigBad: OP. He organizes a series of murders in order to fuel a war and briefly muses about kidnapping a princess, although it never does go through. OP suspects that the DM was trying to turn him into this by introducing him to the [[ArtifactOfDoom Eye of Blight]] in order to get the party to kill him.
16	* BlackAndGreyMorality: Without mincing words, this is the story about a self-professed {{Jerkass}} [[OffTheRails derailing]] a tabletop game entirely out of petty spite for the GameMaster. In any other story, the GM would be the victim for having their hard work disrupted by "Elfslayer" like this; however, because the GM is horrendously flawed and using the game to indulge her fetish for gay elves (and because OP harbors absolutely no illusions about his being an asshole), it ends up being a "Jerk vs. Jerk" story [[RuleOfFun that can still be enjoyed]].
17	* CallingYourAttacks: One of the tiefling swordsman's many Anime-inspired traits.
18	* CantArgueWithElves: Elves look down on the human practice of resurrection because they, lacking human materialism, prefer to let their dead rest in peace. They don't execute criminals (they imprison them, banish them, or turn them into trees), nor do they have holding cells due to the low amount of elf crime. They are also extremely accommodating of homosexual behavior. It's pretty clear which race had the DM's favor.
19	* TheChessmaster: OP plays a very good game. By the end of the story, he's set it up so everyone thinks that the elf Guard Captain killed the human prince, and there's no way to link it back to him.
20	* DidntThinkThisThrough: The DM's FatalFlaw. OP repeatedly notes how nearly all the flaws in her game and all the crap he gets away with are a direct result of her simply not putting much thought into her game/setting. For instance, trying to portray the Human Empire as [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain an ultra-bigoted nation]], yet also making it [[EqualOpportunityEvil racially diverse and egalitarian]] so her players can play non-human races.
21	* DisproportionateRetribution: The thread theorized that the DM's reaction to the illusionist declining to participate in a homosexual threesome was to [[spoiler:allow the half-orc to rape him in his sleep]]. It may have been an attempt to sabotage any bid for power the illusionist might make, though.
22	* DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale: When interrogated regarding the party, the half-orc ranger states she carried OP's illusionist to his bed-chambers. When asked what she did then, she states honestly that she [[spoiler:slept with the illusionist. Said illusionist was blind-drunk (and too weak to fight back even if sober) and not aware of having been laid until the interrogation.]] While jokes were made about the event, OP considers it somewhat creepy, especially after the DM just up and accepted it, seemingly because she thought it would "loosen him up".
23	* TheDragon: The half-orc. She is the only one who is both active in the illusionist's plans and helps them come to fruition. She even goes above and beyond to give herself an alibi for the murder.
24	* ElvesVsDwarves: Elements of this come up with the dwarves' enjoyment of messing with the elven interrogation.
25	* EqualOpportunityEvil: While the humans are presented as more vile than the elves, the human empire was made to accommodate the entire party. As such, dwarves, tieflings and half-orcs are confirmed to live within the kingdom.
26	* EstablishingCharacterMoment: OP gets two: The ''very first sentence of the story'' is the line: "[[CardCarryingVillain /tg/, I'm]] [[VillainProtagonist a dick.]]" About a paragraph later, we realize that he was ''not'' bluffing about this when the YaoiFangirl DM tasks the party with returning the human prince (who's being nursed back to health by the elves) to his own kingdom, to keep the "evil human armies" from going to war to avenge the supposed death of their prince.
27	-->'''OP:''' So I did the only thing I could. [[MoodWhiplash I murdered the human prince and framed his lover for the crime.]] [[ButForMeItWasTuesday That's where last week's session ended.]]
28	* EvilCannotComprehendGood: Possibly more [[InvertedTrope Good Cannot Comprehend Evil]], but the illusionist mentions that one of the DM's main problems is that she seems to have no idea ''why'' he's doing what he's doing, and keeps trying to tempt him with the power to destroy everything and wreck the world. If she grasped that he is a loyal servant of his nation, trying to uphold its honor and protect its best interests, she might have had better luck. [[AnthropicPrinciple Of course, if she could understand that, she probably would have just written a better plot and setting in the first place]].
29	* EvenEvilHasStandards:
30	** When the DM tries to capitalize on OP's villainous behavior by offering him a powerful ArtifactOfDoom, expecting him to take it and become the new BigBad, he buries it in the garden (using a shovel to move it without actually touching it) to keep anyone from using it. He is, after all, just trying to serve his kingdom, [[PragmaticVillainy not go insane and try to destroy the world.]]
31	** Even if OP is following the DM's assertions that HumansAreBastards to the fullest extent, even he is mildly disturbed by the revelation that [[spoiler: the female half-orc party member '''raped''' his character while said character was passed out drunk. Even if it did help establish an alibi and was joked about later, OP, whose was otherwise [[ThenLetMeBeEvil gleefully playing in character how "evil" humans were supposed to be]], was more than just a little disturbed by that revelation when it came out.]]
32	* FalseFlagOperation: OP assumes that if the human kingdom is going to be invading the elves anyway, they might as well have a good justification for it, and consequently [[FrameUp frames the Royal Guard for the murder of his lover]], OP's own prince.
33	* FairPlayVillain: The DM. Despite the OP doing everything in their power to wreck the campaign and seriously pissing her off in the process, the DM continues to play along and let things play out in reaction to the OP's character rather than pulling a RocksFallEveryoneDies on them and just kicking them out. She even goes the extra mile by letting the OP have private sessions to keep things hidden from the other [=PCs=].
34	* ForcedTransformation: According to the DM, the worst criminals in the Elven society are [[{{Transflormation}} turned into trees.]] There's a heavy implication that this would be OP's fate if the DM ever catches him.
35	* ForTheEvulz: Averted. While the DM assumes this to be the case (even offering an artifact that would offer destructive power), all actions taken by the illusionist are for the benefit of his nation.
36	* TheFullNameAdventures: "Elfslayer" is the nickname OP eventually gives himself in order to make it easier for readers to find his posts.
37	* GenericDoomsdayVillain: The DM and Weeaboo ''think'' that OP is this; that he's only derailing the campaign because he's just a big jerk and {{Munchkin}}. Their attempts to rein him in or punish him fail because [[EvilCannotComprehendGood they can't wrap their heads around his real motives]], both in-character (to ensure the safety and security of his kingdom) and out (to make the game actually fun).
38	* GoneHorriblyRight: The DM claims the humans are homophobic warmongers. Then OP decides that he won't be an exception, and furthermore, he'll be a ''very smart'' non-exception.
39	* HarmlessVillain: The Tiefling/Weeaboo ''tries'' to be the SpannerInTheWorks for OP's EvilPlan, but is so incompetent at it that he mostly just ends up either incriminating himself or getting manipulated to further OP's goals.
40	* HoistByHisOwnPetard: OP's justification for attacking the prince is that the war has been good for his kingdom's economy, which the DM has established in order to show [[HumansAreBastards humans being greedy]], and in addition, his nation is homophobic, according to the DM, so OP wouldn't accept the prince being gay. Elven religion not being materialistic and making a point of letting the dead rest in peace (as the DM [[AuthorFilibuster filibustered about]]) means that the prince cannot be raised from the dead, and finally, the DM commenting that elves have so little crime and therefore don't have holding cells allows [[spoiler:OP to set up the scene for the Captain of the Guard's murder.]]
41	* HumansAreBastards: Set up as background by the DM, played completely straight by OP.
42	* HumansAreTheRealMonsters: Declared war on the elves after the elves supposedly killed their prince, and now are out to utterly destroy the elven forests and way of life. The job of the party was supposed to be bringing the prince back and stopping the war, but unfortunately for that plot, OP decided to be one of those real monsters.
43	* KarmaHoudini: OP. As he clearly states to everyone, there is no in-game reason for anyone to suspect him of killing his prince, with most of his tricks used to shift suspicion onto the Captain of the Guards. The closest he comes to retribution is the tiefling, but everyone points out his accusations are, in the game, unfounded.
44	* LethalHarmlessPowers: OP's character is an Illusionist; a useless class for the sort of romantic adventure the DM has planned... but [[GameBreaker utterly devastating]] for the murder mystery that OP turns the game into.
45	* LieDetector: There are spells in ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' that can function as such, and you can imagine the DM uses it quite liberally. Unfortunately for the elves, the spells aren't perfect. The dwarves of the party decide to have a bit of fun with it: one twin is a QuirkyBard who has such a high Charisma stat that he can effortlessly fool the spell, but the other twin doesn't and can't. So they constantly spout outrageous lies (one twin makes up the lie, the other confirms it to be true) to give conflicting readings on the same statements, and not even to help OP, they just do it for laughs.
46	-->'''OP:''' Dwarves just love making Elves suffer.
47	* LoopholeAbuse: The DM tries this in order to catch OP and punish him for [[OffTheRails ruining her game]] without resorting to a [[RocksFallEveryoneDies fiat]]. For example, introducing the [[ArtifactOfDoom Eye of Blight]]: instead of trying to bust open OP's ironclad alibi and find evidence of his crimes in-universe, why not have him [[FaceHeelTurn turn evil]] and give the rest of the party an excuse to kill him? Unfortunately for her, OP is [[OutGambitted way too smart to fall for such an obvious gimme.]]
48	* ManipulativeBastard: OP. Oh so much. How else would he manage to not only avoid blame for the prince's murder but successfully pin it on the prince's lover while appearing heroic?
49	* ManlyFacialHair: OP mentions that the Rumbling Brothers described the importance of beards in Dwarven society, with decorations holding specific meaning (such as beads to denote their children, braids as military rank badges) and the worst criminals being forced to shave their beards and scar their faces so they can never regrow them. Though it's not entirely clear how much of it is true (they change the story with each telling), several commenters praised the idea and declared that they wanted to adopt it the next time they played Dwarves.
50	* MasterOfIllusion: OP's Modus Operandi. Through disguises and technical truths, he is able to create a clean narrative that both gives him an alibi and can fool any witnesses. As an additional measure, his ''status as an illusionist'' is a secret in-game. He makes a point of having a non-illusion spell to match any illusion he has, which he uses more often publicly. Dude has ''all'' his bases covered.
51	* MetaGuy: The Tiefling, or Weeaboo as OP calls him, who constantly rails against OP both in character and out, and has a hard time keeping OOC knowledge (namely, that OP was the killer) out of the game.
52	* NamelessNarrative: With the sole exception of the Rumbling Brothers.
53	* NoEnding: There's no real resolution to the plot; it just stops a short while after OP kills the Elf Guard Captain, though at that point he's gotten rid of both his target and any potential witnesses, and gotten clean away with the whole thing. His goal, to continue the war between elves and humans, has been accomplished.
54	* OffTheRails: If going by [[https://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Henderson_Scale_of_Plot_Derailment The Henderson Scale of Plot Derailment]], it's a full Henderson. The actions of OP effectively caused the DM's plot to end after only one session, requiring finagling and finesse to try and get it back on track, all to no avail.
55	* OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame: Played with. While the dwarf brothers describe elaborate dwarf history about the cultural significance of different styles of beard (a braid can refer to a family or a military rank and a shaved beard typically refers to a criminal), the stories told vary with each telling. Amusingly, the dwarves are described as being twins.
56	* OurElvesAreDifferent: The elves in the campaign are standard ''D&D'' elves and eladrin, presented by the DM as peaceful and more culturally advanced than other races, are far more accepting of homosexual relationships, they have very little crime and they don't believe in disturbing the dead. They also appear to be xenophobic, since the human kingdom also houses half-orcs, tieflings and dwarves while the elf kingdom does not. According to OP, the elven culture was a mix of Eladrin and normal elves. The Human Prince's lover in particular was an Eladrin Swordmage.
57	* OutOfFocus: OP notes that there was another human in the party, an artificer, but also notes that she barely did anything of note, hence why he only rarely acknowledges her existence in the text.
58	* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: The Human Empire is ''supposed'' to be this, with the DM going on about how repressive and homophobic they are. It falls flat when OP notices that [[EqualOpportunityEvil the party sent by the empire is vastly more diverse than the elven kingdom is]], thanks to the DM dumping everything she didn't care about there.
59	* PragmaticVillainy: OP's illusionist character is motivated by what they consider best for the human empire, as well as what might provide a boost in personal power. Being led to believe that the war with the elves leads to a surge in patriotism, an economic boost and potential access to a great source of lumber, he endeavors to keep such a war going.
60	* ProfessionalButtKisser: The Weeaboo spends the whole game sucking up to the DM and trying to punish OP in her stead. [[HarmlessVillain He's so bad at it that he mostly just incriminates himself and makes OP's plans easier]].
61	* PsychoPartyMember: The Half-Orc Ranger, who helps OP pull off his master plan by [[spoiler:'''raping him.''']] Understandably, OP is conflicted about her being on his side.
62	* RageBreakingPoint: The tipping point for OP that sets him on his quest to derail the game comes when the DM [[YaoiFangirl tries to pressure him into a threesome with the Prince and Royal Guard]], against his vocal objections.
63	* {{Railroading}}: Averted. OP notes (to the DM's credit) that she never resorted to forcing the players down a certain path or using a [[RocksFallEveryoneDies sudden out-of-nowhere death]] to punish OP. She places obvious traps and challenges targeted at him like the Eye of Blight, but never physically forces OP's character to fall into them.
64	* ReasonableAuthorityFigure: The GM, who, when faced with a player who goes wildly off the rails and takes the campaign in exactly the opposite of the desired direction... rolls with it and keeps going instead of throwing a snit fit and declaring RocksFallEveryoneDies, as would be expected.
65	* ScrewYouElves: The party's reaction to the elves.
66	* ShoutOut: The weeaboo's character is described as having "ripped off every anime half-demon he can find".
67	* SpaceFillingEmpire: The DM uses the Human Empire this way, dumping any races and cultures she doesn't care about (i.e., anything that's not elvish) into it, which ends up badly undermining her HumansAreBastards tirades by making the humans look vastly more tolerant and racially diverse than the elves.
68	* SpannerInTheWorks:
69	** The DM's plans for pretty much everything are unraveled because of OP's decision that he would ''not'' be an exception to the HumansAreBastards themes of the campaign. The Weeaboo also ''tries'' to be this for OP, but he isn't quite up to snuff, and ends up implicating himself more than OP.
70	** One of the commenters on the [=4chan=] threads was accused of trying to be this in a meta sense, repeatedly asking for the DM's contact information (while claiming they just wanted to offer her storytelling advice). Either way, OP refused to give the info.
71	* SuperiorSpecies: Elves and Eladrin, according to the GM. Not only are they more in tune with nature and more peaceful, but they are far more accepting of homosexual relationships than other races in this story.
72	* ThenLetMeBeEvil: In a game where HumansAreTheRealMonsters according to the DM, OP decided to [[AlwaysChaoticEvil act in character]]. The result was OP's character acting with PragmaticVillainy and making the campaign go OffTheRails.
73	* ThoseTwoGuys: The dwarves, Bali and Baldin. They don't directly help with the gambit, but actively mess with the interrogators whenever possible. They would both tell the same story, using the one brother's high bluff skill and the other's abysmal skill to read the same story as both true and false.
74	* TokenGoodTeammate: Depending on your definition of "good", the swordmaster referred to as "the weeaboo" actively opposes the illusionist and tries to reveal his involvement, though he has no in-character reason to do so.
75	* TokenHeroicOrc: Defied and deconstructed. The DM clearly expects OP and his party to be this for the human empire, but OP finds her moralizing and blatant AuthorAppeal so obnoxious that he decides to instead actually ''play'' like a member of an AlwaysChaoticEvil race.
76	* UnwantedAssistance: OP is understandably conflicted when the Half-Orc Ranger helps him get away with killing the Prince by [[spoiler:''raping him'' and using that as an alibi]]. He's even more disturbed by how the DM just casually lets it happen.
77	* {{Utopia}}: The Elven kingdom. It is peaceful, has very little crime (to the point where they don't have any prison infrastructure), is un-materialistic, egalitarian, and accepting of homosexuality. Interestingly enough, though, it appears to be rather speciesist when compared to the Human Kingdom. The Human Kingdom includes dwarves, tieflings, and half-orcs along with humans, but the Elven Kingdom only has elves and eladrin.
78	* VillainProtagonist: OP openly states how he's becoming the BigBad, but fills the role of protagonist by virtue of being the storyteller and only character who knows, in character, exactly what's going on.
79	* VillainRespect: OP takes a moment to give the DM credit for trying to roll with the punches and punish him in-game, noting that she could have easily tried {{Railroading}} or pulling a RocksFallEveryoneDies on OP; the DM did neither, keeping everything self-contained. This is in stark contrast to the Weeaboo, who seems [[MetaGuy incapable of keeping meta and in-game information separate]].
80	* WarIsHell: But only for the elves, who are losing badly. For the humans, the war has revitalized the economy and brought about a surge of patriotism. Apparently this was put in so the DM could show [[HumansAreBastards how greedy the humans were]], but it bit her in the arse when OP used the fact that the war was good for his kingdom as his motive for continuing it.
81	* WellIntentionedExtremist: OP's in-universe reason for why he's continuing the war between humans and elves is it's for the good of his kingdom.
82	* WhatYouAreInTheDark: Surprisingly, OP passes this test, [[VillainProtagonist of all people.]] When the DM presents him with a powerful ArtifactOfDoom that is clearly intended to tempt him into becoming the new BigBad, he makes sure to avoid touching it and then buries it in the garden [[EvenEvilHasStandards to keep anyone else from finding it and using it as a weapon.]]
83	* XanatosGambit: By the end, OP has more or less arranged things so that he wins no matter what the DM does. He's destroyed all possible methods of proving his guilt, killed or framed everyone who suspected him, gotten most of the party on his side, and even if he were somehow caught, the war between humans and elves is almost certain to continue just as he planned.
84	* XanatosSpeedChess: What the game quickly turns into. Every time the DM and her lackey try to hinder OP, he finds some crazy new way to spin it in his own favor.
85	* YaoiFangirl: The DM. Beyond the core plot of the intended campaign focusing on a homosexual romance, the couple tried (and failed) to rope the OP into a threesome.

Context Literature / ElfslayerChronicles