Line #4 Funny/EuropaUniversalis


1	[[AC:Videos]]
2	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H67FQX5ZLE Europa Universalis: The Musical!]]
3	** And now the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwqTOoh3lK8 WE HAVE CASUS BELLI!]] mod.
4	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWAP0RNFOmc Paradox knows they suffer from]] CreatorProvincialism. It'll be the first time, and probably the last, that you'll ever hear anybody refer to Sweden as a 'Mighty Empire'.
5	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aB0cZ43Hvg The]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOoboLdSf9g FRENEMIES]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_TC9hMiPn0 Miniseries]]. What starts as a [[BlatantLies thirty]] [[JustOneMoreTurn minute]] multiplayer EUIV game becomes something ridiculously '''[[HilarityEnsues hilarious.]]'''
6	** For starters, [[StylisticSuck the]] ''[[StylisticSuck really]]'' [[StylisticSuck bad 80's advert.]]
7	** TemptingFate at work:
8	-->'''Liam''': Okay, but just for half a hour. [[JustOneMoreTurn These games]] [[LampshadeHanging go on and on...]]
9	-->'''[[GilliganCut Not Half A Hour Later]]'''
10	-->'''Liam''': ...AND ON I GO INTO ANTWERP, MMMH!
11
12	[[AC:Gameplay]]
13	* [[GoodBadBugs Via a glitch]], you can conquer the nation of Holstein and make them release ... the country of Holstein in a neighbouring province. If you're lucky, [[ViolationOfCommonSense you get this spectacular piece of nonsense:]] [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Holstein has declared war on Holstein in the Holstenian reconquest of Holstein]]. Alas, this was fixed in a patch.
14	* Another thing that can happen is for a nation that you haven't met to declare war on you as a result of alliances. Imagine playing as, say Russia and out of nowhere:
15	-->''' "MALI HAS DECLARED WAR ON YOU."'''
16	** This is actually realistic. Due to the way Europe expanded its influence over Africa, African kingdoms could find themselves as enemies of countries they never heard of due to those two countries being at war in Europe, and because African kingdoms were seen as protectorates of European powers.
17	** Even better is that frequently these nations will contribute ''nothing'' to the war, usually because they don't have any boats, and simply spam you with comically large demands to get them out of the war.
18	* Sometimes, in a bout of ArtificialStupidity, an AI ally of a vassal's army will do an annoying action known as "standing on your face" in which you'll have your army sitting in a province beneath the supply limit, but they tip you over so the combined armies take loads of attrition. Or more accurately, [[TooDumbToLive their troops]] [[LaserGuidedKarma will wither away to nothing]] [[ComedicSociopathy while yours are fine.]]
19	* [[ButThouMust The "Comet Sighting" event.]] Say "hi" to your -1 stability!
20	-->''It's an omen.''\
21	''The end is nigh!''\
22	''If only we had comet sense...''\
23	''The economy, fools!''
24	** And if it happens before 1445 (i.e. ''in the first 2 months of gameplay''):
25	--->''[[SarcasmMode What a great start into the new year!]]''
26	* When two nations with no armies declare war on each other, causing said "war" to last until one of them gets a retinue.
27	* The concept of "Hands-Off" games, where you play as passively as possible and let the AI do its' work. For example, one particular After Action Report on the Paradox boards has Sibir as Holy Roman Emperor, Etruria conquering Italy, a Denmark that is based in Spain, and Byzantium ruling over the entire Middle East.
28	* A mission one can get as Japan involves conquering an African province where a Japanese artist is rumored to have fled too after creating a picture book chronicling the history of a school for Samurai. The province's name? Manga.
29	* A particularly [[BlackComedy darkly comedic event]] deals with your country's government attaining a reputation as being ruthless, you have two options, either [[ThenLetMeBeEvil embrace the reputation]] or get angry and [[NotHelpingYourCase execute someone over it]].
30	* Scornful Insults. Just all of it. Here are some examples:
31	** [[YourMom "Your mother was a hamster]] [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail and your father smells of elderberries!"]]
32	** [[VideoGame/CrusaderKings "Tales of your misdeeds are told from Ireland to Cathay."]]
33	** "What are you going to do, bleed on me?" if the target nation has no army.
34	** [[ShameIfSomethingHappened "I've heard your heir enjoys hunting. Do be careful, it would be such a shame if an unforeseen accident would happen."]] if the target nation has a [[TooPowerfulToLive high skilled heir]], which also functions as a LampshadeHanging on the bizarrely death rates that High skilled Heirs have, usually dying off to "Hunting Accidents"
35	** "You could have been a fine nation, if you had not been so preoccupied with killing each other over who was more related to the greatest murderer of our time." if the target nation is the Timurid state.
36	* Tunis has a mission that involves conquering a neighbour south of it called Aïr. The mission's name ? [[{{Pun}} Air Strike]].
37	* Whilst colonizing Siberia, natives will occasionally rise up to destroy your colonies. The problem? [[PlaceWorseThanDeath It's fucking Siberia.]] Most of the time, the natives will suffer attrition and drop below the minimum needed to siege, making them a self-solving problem.
38	* The city state of Riga has a path which allows it to sell indulgences as a holy republic. If you try to sell the pope an indulgence, you are prevented from doing it and warned that attempting to do so is unwise unless you wish to be burnt alive.
39
40	[[AC:Others]]
41	* The Achievement called ''[[WhyWontYouDie "Die Please Die"]]'', for having [[UnfitForGreatness a Ruler with 1 or lower in all three categories]] [[WhyWontYouDie who is over the age of 70.]]
42	* On a similar note, the Achievement ''"[[CreatorProvincialism Sweden]] [[BlatantLies is not overpowered!]]"''
43	* As Poland, reach level 32 in all technologies and you will get the achievement: ''"[[Webcomic/{{Polandball}} Poland can into space!]]"''.
44	* The description of one of the [[UsefulNotes/ThePope Papal Ideas]] in EUIV
45	--> The Donation of Constantine demonstrates our authority to bestow the title of Emperor of the Romans upon whomsoever we choose.
46	--> It may also prove that we're rather good at forging documents.

Context Funny / EuropaUniversalis