Line #107 Film/HerculesReturns


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3	Film buff Brad [=McBain=] is a hapless employee of Australia's largest cinema corporation. When his boss Sir Michael Kent unveils his plan for a huge multiplex showing low-brow movies in overcrowded theatres with minimal staff and price-gouging concession stands, [=McBain=] decides to quit his job and renovate the disused Picture Palace with the help of projectionist Sprocket so they can show movies [[GoodOldWays like they did back in the good old days]]. For a PublicityStunt their publicist Lisa suggests that for the red carpet premiere they show the last movie playing at the Picture Palace when it was shut down, the Italian SwordAndSandal movie ''Hercules''[[note]]actually ''Samson and His Mighty Challenge''[[/note]].
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5	Unfortunately on opening night they discover the movie they've been sent is (thanks to Kent's machinations) the undubbed Italian version. There's only one thing to do: GagDub the entire movie as it's being projected on screen!
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7	!!This movie has the following tropes:
8	* AloneInACrowd: [=McBain=] is introduced struggling through a crowd of pedestrians [[RuleOfSymbolism while going the opposite way]] at a traffic crossing.
9	* AmazonChaser: When Lisa turns up to apply for the publicist job, one of the painters renovating the Palace gives her a WolfWhistle. She punches him without breaking stride. [=McBain=] and Sprocket decide to hire her at once.
10	* AmbiguouslyGay: Zeus (actually [[GodGuise Stretch hiding in the altar]]) tells Hercules his purpose in the city of Chlamydia is to openly reveal to the world his true homosexual tendencies. Hercules, for his part, vehemently denies being gay.
11	-->'''Hercules in a huff:''' Never heard anything so ridiculous in all of my life. Me, of all peop--My God, what if he's right?! Oh, of course he isn't.
12	* BadBoss: Angry that [=McBain=] has gone ahead with his plan to open the Palace, Kent calls his secretary and tells her to send in someone he can fire.
13	* BannisterSlide: [=McBain=] does this on the grand staircase of the Palace while {{Flynning}} with Kent.
14	* BigGuyLittleGuy: Sprocket (played by the towering Creator/BruceSpence) and [=McBain=] (David Argue).
15	* BreakingTheFourthWall:
16	** When Kent storms up to the projection room to put a stop to things, Hercules tells him to sit down.
17	** An actor SpikingTheCamera is used for Ted apologizing to the audience for suggesting that ViewersAreMorons.
18	* BridalCarry: Hercules does this to Labia on arrival at Chlamydia. She's not impressed.
19	-->'''Labia:''' Look, I know you saved my life, but get your [[CovertPervert hand off my left tit]] and ''put me down!''
20	* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
21	** Ted and Muriel are looking for a new act for their nightclub.
22	--->'''Ted:''' What about that exotic dancer? You know...she does [[NoodleImplements that thing with the vacuum cleaner]].
23	--->'''Muriel:''' But she ''sucks''.
24	--->'''Ted:''' Yeah, that's the one!
25	** Muriel goes to [[KneelBeforeZod bow before the demigod Hercules]] only for Herc to grab her because he thinks she's going to fall.
26	** The foley work done by [=McBain=], Sprocket and Lisa to simulate people lighting fires, beating each other up, scoffing down food, fighting in water and ramming their heads into walls involves doing exactly those things.
27	* CompensatingForSomething: Hercules wants to be a nightclub singer because he's tired of all those jokes about bodybuilders having a TeenyWeenie. Which is [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial not true in his case.]]
28	* CoolAndUnusualPunishment:
29	** To punish his son for eloping with Labia, Testiculi's dad gives him the Beer Garden Torture: ten buckets of creme de menthe! Plus the toes get cut off his sandals.
30	** Muriel says the last person to disobey Zeus was turned into an accountant.
31	* CoolVersusAwesome: Parodied; Kent is bragging about how they've purchased the very best movies for their new cinema complex. While he's talking [=McBain=] is sorting through movie posters for ''Rambo Meets Rocky'', ''Rambo Meets Bambi'' and then ''[[BreadEggsMilkSquick Rambo Eats Bambi]]''.
32	* CuteButCacophonic: Labia's [[UsefulNotes/AustralianAccent Ocker accent]] and AnnoyingLaugh. Delilah's InelegantBlubbering.
33	* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: Ursus threatens to punch Samson so hard he'll have teeth marks in his sphincter.
34	* DidTheEarthMoveForYouToo: Used to parody the [[DullSurprise underwhelming post-coital behavior]] of the actors playing RunawayFiance Labia and her beloved Testiculi.
35	-->''' Testiculi:''' I didn't expect the Earth to move...but I at least expected you to.
36	* DoubleEntendre
37	** "What does that man think he's doing with his hands on my Labia?"
38	** "Labia and Testiculi, a couple that by definition are destined to be joined together..."
39	* DumbMuscle: Hercules the Pinhead.
40	-->'''Queen:''' [Labia] also said that [[EatingTheEyeCandy she admires all those muscles]]. It's a pity that the biggest one is between your ears.
41	-->'''Hercules:''' What?! That's unfair; [[IResembleThatRemark there's nothing between my ears!]]
42	** And Samson isn't too bright either, but he wasn't in the Bible as well.
43	* TheEnd: As the Italian sword-and-sandal movie comes to an end, TheNarrator announces that everything is just dandy. On being told that's "a bit mincey", he decides everything is just...
44	-->''TitleCard saying'' FINE [[note]](Italian for "End")[[/note]]
45	* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: Testiculi's father is just called "Dad" in the credits.
46	* FightSceneFailure: Lampshaded InUniverse.
47	** Ursus punches Machismo in the gut, but then promises to pull his next punch. Cue this trope.
48	** "Why did you all fall down? I missed the lot of ya!"
49	* FanDisservice:
50	** Labia refuses to marry Hercules because "...with all those muscles he looks like a condom stuffed full of walnuts!" Plus [[HeroicBuild he's got bigger tits than she does]].
51	** The [[BathingBeauty Bathing Beauties]] with [[VocalDissonance grating Ocker accents]].
52	** The dubbers make a loud slurping sound every time there's a BigDamnKiss.
53	* {{Flynning}}: Done between Kent and [=McBain=] using microphone stands. Until Lisa loses patience and has Kent PunchedAcrossTheRoom.
54	* FramingDevice: The plot takes up 15 minutes of the film, with the remaining 65 given over to the GagDub which is the real movie.
55	* GagDub: The dubbed part was based on the live show performed by the comedy group ''Double Take'' in the early 1990s. They would show a movie and perform the dialog and some sound effects on microphones from the rear of the theatre. They did four different shows, dubbing ''Hercules Returns'', ''The Astrozombies'', ''The Pirates'' and ''The Killer Bees''.
56	* GratuitousItalian: After dodging a BoltOfDivineRetribution, Hercules responds with "Mamma mia!" until Zeus informs him that they're not doing the Italian version of the movie.
57	* HomoeroticSubtext: The GagDub takes an Italian SwordAndSandal movie full of shirtless musclemen in short skirts who like wrestling with each other, and runs with it.
58	* HongKongDub: Obligatory given that the trope is also known as a "Hercules Dub".
59	* IOwnThisTown: Kent won't tolerate competitors in the cinema business and promises to destroy [=McBain=] purely out of spite. Lampshaded when Sprocket says he's stuck working at a porn theatre because "Kent controls this town".
60	* IsThisThingStillOn: The cinema goers can hear everyone talking in the projection booth. Due to RuleOfFunny, it also fits what's happening on screen.
61	* ItsNotPornItsArt: When [=McBain=] first recruits him, Sprocket is showing porn films for the raincoat brigade because [[IOwnThisTown Kent has run him out of the business]].
62	-->'''Sprocket:''' Still peddling mainstream muck to the masses?
63	-->'''[=McBain=]:''' Yeah. Are you still Head Projectionist at the Thrust-And-Grunt Emporium?
64	-->'''Sprocket:''' If you mean, am I showing tasteful erotica to a select adult clientele...the answer is yes.
65	-->'''[=McBain=]:''' "A select adult clientele?" They buy their raincoats at the candy bar!
66	* JustAStupidAccent: Delilah has a stereotypical Italian accent, Ursus has a Scottish one, while all the other Greeks speak fluent Australian.
67	* KungFoley: An on-screen fight is intercut with the people in the projection room slapping each other and smashing things to provide the required sounds, and it eventually gets taken up to eleven with roaring fires, Sprocket smashing his head into the wall and the room being flooded. Eventually Kent rushes up to the projection booth to put a stop to this, with the subsequent YouFightLikeACow dialogue [[TwoScenesOneDialogue matching what's happening on screen]].
68	* LameComeback: Ursus mocks Samson, trying to provoke him into a fight to see whether or not he's faking the loss of his strength. Samson's response?
69	-->'''Samson:''' ''[pitifully]'' I'm really angry now. You know what you are? You're a big poop.
70	* LeaningOnTheFourthWall:
71	** Ursus suggests they cut directly to the next scene because the Italian in their conversation can't be dubbed correctly into English.
72	** The prop jewels brought for Samson are made of "genuine plastic!"
73	** When everyone thinks Samson is faking his loss of strength.
74	--->"I think he's acting."
75	--->"Yes, and badly too."
76	* LukeIAmYourFather: Parodied when Testiculi's father reveals that he once slept with Muriel.
77	-->'''Testiculi:''' ''(alarmed)'' Are you saying that [[SurpriseIncest Labia could be your daughter?]]
78	-->'''Dad:''' Nah, I'm just bragging.
79	* MachoCamp: Machismo speaks in a CampGay manner yet can thrash Ursus.
80	* MegatonPunch: Lisa puts an abrupt end to the duel when Kent makes a sexist remark and she punches him across the room and out the doors.
81	-->'''[=McBain=] :''' Looks like we have a [[BondOneLiner hit on our hands.]]
82	* MilkingTheGiantCow: Hercules does this a lot (in fairness he's usually appealing to Zeus at the time). Parodied by having him getting ready to burst into song on these occasions.
83	* MistakenForProfound: Film critics David Stratton and Margaret Pomeranz (then hosting "The Movie Show") cameo [[AsHimself as themselves]]. They're shown leaving the theatre impressed with how relevant a movie from three decades ago can be to modern times.
84	* MusicalNumberAnnoyance
85	** Muriel and Ted have a NoJustNoReaction whenever Hercules is about to burst into song, given that he's more fond of Creator/FrankSinatra or Tony Orlando & Dawn than anything they put on in a popular nightclub.
86	** A messenger arrives at [[Literature/SamsonAndDelilah Samson's]] house, and when his girlfriend answers the door starts singing a certain Music/TomJones song. Delilah is not amused.
87	* NoodleImplements: Ted and Muriel blackmail Fanny into going along with their ZanyScheme by threatening to reveal "...what you like doing with hamsters, a wetsuit and a bathful of custard."
88	* PecFlex: When Machismo faces off with Ursus, he gives this [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuWxfvN5PRM legendary line]]: "I'll fight you on one condition... that you lower your nipples." Ursus... does.
89	* ProfessionalButtKisser
90	** Kent's YesMan King. Lampshaded during [=McBain=]'s NotAfraidOfYouAnymore moment.
91	--->'''[=McBain=] (using Hercules voice):''' Don't you get it? You can't intimidate me anymore, Kent! ''(DramaticFingerPointing)'' I'm not one of your slimy little underlings; not like that assistant of yours--God he's such a brownnose that instead of a handkerchief he uses toilet paper!
92	** When Zeus starts throwing thunderbolts at his son to get his attention, Hercules grovels appropriately.
93	--->'''Hercules:''' Father, I am but mere mortal-ah! I am nothing but the toe-jam from between your mighty feet-ah!
94	* PunnyName: The city of Lydia becomes [[TheDiseaseThatShallNotBeNamed Chlamydia]], Princess Omphale = Labia, and Prince Inor = Testiculi. Maciste is now [[MachoCamp Machismo]].
95	* RapidHairGrowth: The FridgeLogic of Samson growing his hair back in just three days in time for one last fight scene is lampshaded.
96	* SdrawkcabSpeech: The actor playing Hercules has a tendency to walk away from the people he's talking to, then [[LargeHam abruptly turn to face them]], at which point the GagDub always makes a sound like the soundtrack is being reversed.
97	* StyrofoamRocks: Machismo complains about Ursus knocking over his mom's papier-mâché column, and Hercules doesn't like his rubber club (even though it can [[FightSceneFailure knock people down without hitting them]]).
98	* TakeThat:
99	** Ted suggests that they hire that Cretan singer [[Music/KylieMinogue Kylie Minogus]]. Muriel retorts that she's only popular with Cretans.[[note]]cretins[[/note]]
100	** Zeus says that Hercules was to be played by Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger, but "I couldn't understand the bugger."
101	* ThemeTuneRap: Despite his liking for Sinatra songs, the Hercules Rap is sung by the title character for the end credits in a last chance to get accepted as a singer.
102	* TooKinkyToTorture: When Ursus grabs Machismo in a KillerBearHug around the waist, Machismo says he'll give him half an hour to stop.
103	* TheTriple:
104	** Hercules says his MissionFromGod will give him a chance to grow, to learn, and beat the living snot out of other musclemen.
105	** "I never liked you, [=McBain=]. You're a maverick...an idealist...[[SuddenlyShouting AND YOU'RE FIRED!]]"
106	* UnusualEuphemism:
107	** Inverted; one of the bathing beauties is griping about the art collector who invited her home to see his Creator/{{Warhol}}, "but he just showed me a {{painting\|s}}."
108	** Hercules is outraged at the suggestion that he might be a "[[AmbiguouslyGay visitor to the Vegemite Valley.]]".
109	** Labia says she's handled "[[ReallyGetsAround more knobs than a locksmith]]".
110	* UptownGirl: Testiculi's dad runs a beer garden and hates the stuck-up yuppies who own the Pink Pantheon nightclub, so isn't happy about his son falling for Labia. Though having her burnt at the stake for Barbeque Night seems DisproportionateRetribution.
111	* ViewersAreMorons: Ted wants to hire a new act for his nightclub, but can't find anyone his wife likes.
112	-->'''Ted:''' Listen, Muriel love, I'll find someone to please an audience! Though your average audience these days is stupid anyway. ''(AsideGlance)'' No offence...
113	* VocalDissonance:
114	** The CampGay muscleman Machismo, and Princess Labia with her Ocker accent.
115	** When [=McBain=] is fighting with Kent in the projection booth, the voice of Hercules is dubbed over his own. Kent tells him off for trying to talk like a mythical hero.
116	* WhereAreTheyNowEpilogue: As our heroes go RidingIntoTheSunset, TheNarrator says that Labia and Testiculi got married and adopted Stretch, Samson married Delilah and went on to host the chat show ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Morning_Australia_(1992_TV_program) Good Morning Athenea]]'', Ursus went on...and [[YouTalkTooMuch on and on because nobody could shut him up]], Machismo became a hairdresser, and Hercules became a washed-up overpaid nightclub singer.

Context Film / HerculesReturns