1 | ->''He wouldn't say he was a great parent. Hell, even "good" would be a stretch. But they developed like they were supposed to, ate two or three meals a day and had a roof over their heads. He was at least a mediocre dad'' |
2 | -->-- Yondu describing his parenting style |
3 | |
4 | ''we're jerry springer, not casablanca.'' is a ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014'' fanfic by judypoovey. |
5 | |
6 | The story is set in an [[AlternateUniverseFic AU]], where everyone is human, Yondu has [[BigScrewedUpFamily four adopted children]] and is trying to raise them all without going insane. Things get complicated when he meets Kraglin, a scruffy punk with a neck tattoo. Things get even more complicated when Peter's biological dad comes back for him. |
7 | |
8 | It is published on Website/ArchiveOfOurOwn, [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/10954233/chapters/24380448 here]]. |
9 | |
10 | !! This fic provides examples of |
11 | * AbusiveParents: Ego implied to be this for Mantis, as she has almost no social skills and is scared to be around strangers when she first arrives at Yondu's house. |
12 | * BigScrewedUpFamily: Yondu acknowledges his family as this, describing himself as "at least a mediocre dad" |
13 | * HandicappedBadass: Nebula has a prosthetic arm and leg, but doesn't hesitate to start a fight with the man who catcalled Mantis. |
14 | * HugeSchoolgirl: Groot is a male version of this, as at twelve years old he's already at eye level with Yondu. |
15 | * IWasQuiteAFashionVictim: Invoked by Yondu when Peter sees old photos of Yondu and his friends from [[UsefulNotes/TheEighties The 80s]], which include Yondu with a [[DelinquentHair bright red mohawk]] and a denim vest. |
16 | * ItsPersonal: Peter snaps and attacks Ego when he learns that [[spoiler: Ego set the fire that killed his mother]]. |
17 | * JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Nebula is abrasive and loud, but stands up for Mantis, and is always kind to her. |
18 | * ManipulativeBastard: Ego attempts to force Peter into [[spoiler: manufacturing drugs]] by promising that he'll pay for Peter to go to any college he wants. |
19 | * MissingMom: Peter's mother, who died when Peter was six, and Mantis' mother, who [[spoiler: who died giving birth to Mantis]]. |
20 | * PapaWolf: Yondu becomes this when Mantis gets catcalled, and later again when [[spoiler: Ego attacks Peter, going so far as to hit him with Kraglin's car]]. |
21 | * StraightMan: Drax's girlfriend Hovat is a female example, as she seems to have almost no sense of humour in contrast to the raucous Drax. |
22 | -->''Drax's girlfriend...was almost hilariously humorless, a foil to Drax's socially stunted bombast''. |
23 | * VitriolicBestBuds: Yondu and Tullk. |
24 | -->''It was hard to differentiate between "best" friend and "only" friend, but Tullk was probably both''. |
25 | * TeenGenius: Rocket is a fourteen year old who is "constantly building weird gadgets and "fixing" things around the house". |
26 | * TheAllegedCar: Kraglin's car, the trunk is literally held together with a ''paperclip''. |
27 | * {{Tsundere}}: Nebula, and to a lesser extent, Gamora. |
28 | * {{Twincest}}: Implied with Ayesha. |
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FollowingContext FanFic / WereJerrySpringerNotCasablanca
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