| 1 | -> [[Website/{{Cracked}} Return to the main page.]] |
| 2 | --> [[Cracked/TropesIToZ Tropes I - Z]] |
| 3 | Although the articles linked here are, for the most part, SFW, Cracked frequently recommends articles which are [[NotSafeForWork not]]. You Have Been Warned. |
| 4 | ---- |
| 5 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 6 | |
| 7 | [[folder:#-A]] |
| 8 | * TwentyPercentMoreAwesome: A common source of comedy, especially in the articles that centre on charts and graphs. |
| 9 | * FourOneNineScam: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_781_34-childrens-books-updated-modern-problems_p34/#25 #25 of 34 Children's Books Updated for Modern Problems]]: "The Berenstain Bears and the Nigerian Prince". |
| 10 | * AbductionIsLove: ''Cracked'' accuses ''WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast'' of this in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_528_23-romantic-movies-revised-honesty/ 23 Romantic Movies Revised for Honesty]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19285_5-romantic-movie-gestures-that-were-actually-dick-moves.html 5 Romantic Movie Gestures That Were Actually Dick Moves]]. |
| 11 | * AccidentalHero: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-photos-capturing-moments-spontaneous-badassery/ 10 Photos Capturing Moments of Spontaneous Badassery.]] |
| 12 | * AccentuateTheNegative: A recurring theme of a lot of their articles. As a rule, they tend to go against popular opinion if it evaluates something positively but agree with it if it's negative. |
| 13 | ** "If X Was 10 Times Shorter and More Honest", courtesy of Website/TheEditingRoom. |
| 14 | * AcceptableBreaksFromReality: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_1088_if-video-games-worked-by-real-world-logic If Video Games Worked By Real Logic.]] |
| 15 | * ActionGirl: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "every sexy girl is a ruthless killer." |
| 16 | * ActionPet: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19578_5-most-badass-soldiers-ever-happened-to-be-dogs.html This article about 5 soldier dogs]]. |
| 17 | * ActionSurvivor: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20504_the-5-most-badass-ways-people-escaped-from-slavery_p2.html The 5 Most Badass Ways People Escaped from Slavery]] is how Eliza Harris carried several children across a river while jumping from one [[FloatingPlatforms moving ice platform]] to another as if it were a ''[[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Mario]]'' game. This is the true story ''Literature/UncleTomsCabin'' was based on. |
| 18 | * AdaptationDistillation: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_787_29-movie-adaptations-that-left-out-best-parts 29 Movie Adaptations That Left Out the Best Parts]]. It's easy to see why Disney left out that tidbit about ''WesternAnimation/{{Cinderella}}''... |
| 19 | * AdBreakDoubleTake: Discussed in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pMvzYZx2h0 14 Super Powers That Every Movie Character Apparently Has]]. |
| 20 | * AddedAlliterativeAppeal: The entries in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18538_5-superpowers-we-all-had-as-babies-according-to-science_p1.html 5 Superpowers We All Had as Babies (According to Science)]] |
| 21 | * AffectionateParody: Robert Brockway's articles about Mario Lopez parody Creator/HPLovecraft. |
| 22 | * AfraidOfClowns: Mentioned in the third entry on [[https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1726-bribing-kids-5-realities-planning-rich-kid-birthdays.html this article by a professional party planner]]; Kids these days prefer entertainers dressed as superheroes at their party, and dislike or are even downright afraid of clowns. Something parents frequently find out the hard way when they hire a clown. |
| 23 | * TheAgeless: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20055_6-unassuming-animals-that-are-secretly-immortal.html 6 Unassuming Animals That Are Secretly Immortal]] lists animal species that don't die of old age, such as lobsters and turtles. |
| 24 | * AIIsACrapshoot: In [[http://www.cracked.com/video_18167_39-astounding-celebrity-and-one-cracked-tv-reboots.html 39 Astounding Celebrity (And One Cracked) Reboot]], Clippy attempts a HostileShowTakeover, which ultimately culminates in [[spoiler:Swaim's memory being erased, him being [[ContinuityReboot rebooted]] by Joanna Angel, and going into a new season]]. |
| 25 | * TheAlcoholic: John Cheese is a recovering alcoholic. More than one article has been written about how much of a struggle it's been. |
| 26 | ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tV4-Q6dBf4 This may be the greatest example of this trope ever.]] |
| 27 | * TheAllegedCar: The Ford Pinto is #3 of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-awesome-things-with-inexplicably-bad-reputations/ 5 Awesome Things with Inexplicably Bad Reputations.]] While the whole rear-end gas tank fire thing was certainly true, the car really wasn't any more dangerous than any other vehicle on the road. |
| 28 | * AliensSpeakingEnglish: Called [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18721_the-5-stupidest-ways-movies-deal-with-foreign-languages.html The 5 Stupidest Way Movies Deal with Foreign Languages]]. |
| 29 | * AllJustADream: The article "[[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/why-saved-by-bell-all-dream-conspiracy-theory/ Why 'Saved by the Bell' is All a Dream: A Conspiracy Theory]]" explains why ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' has to be an escapist dream of a character in ''Series/GoodMorningMissBliss'', using clues from the ExpositoryThemeTune. |
| 30 | * AllMenArePerverts: [[DiscussedTrope Discussed]] in a video featuring Cracked's female contributors talking about what are, [[InternetJerk and aren't appropriate comments on videos]]. With [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer actual posts being spoken aloud by male contributors]]. |
| 31 | * AllPsychologyIsFreudian: Implied by the winner of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_647_19-things-we-secretly-suspect-about-other-peoples-jobs_p2/?view=article 19 Things We Secretly Suspect About Other People's Jobs]]. |
| 32 | * AlternativeCharacterInterpretation: [[invoked]] One article has an [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18881_5-reasons-greatest-movie-villain-ever-good-witch.html alternate interpretation]] of [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Glinda the Good Witch]]. |
| 33 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18417_the-lighter-side-dark-side-5-villains-who-were-good.html 9 Famous Movie Villains Who Were Right All Along]]. |
| 34 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19336_6-beloved-characters-that-had-undiagnosed-mental-illnesses.html 6 Beloved Characters That Had Undiagnosed Mental Illnesses]]. |
| 35 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19673_6-insane-but-convincing-theories-childrens-pop-culture.html 6 Insane (But Convincing) Theories on Children's Pop Culture]]. |
| 36 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19496_6-classic-kids-shows-secretly-set-in-nightmarish-universes.html 6 Classic Kids Shows Secretly Set in Nightmarish Universes]]. |
| 37 | ** What Creator/{{Seanbaby}} did to old Popsicle Pete comics, reimagining him as [[HumanoidAbomination a harbinger of death and despair]]. |
| 38 | *** '''''[[color:red:NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE.]]''''' |
| 39 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19882_6-insane-but-convincing-fan-theories-about-kids-cartoons.html 6 Insane (But Convincing) Fan Theories About Kids' Cartoons]]. |
| 40 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-star-trek-federation-evil-empire/ 5 Ways Star Trek's Federation Was an Evil Empire]]. |
| 41 | * AmericansHateTingle: [[{{InUniverse}} A well-known example]] regarding Americans, their disgust at UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball, appears in articles such as [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-hilarious-story-american-football-abroad/ this]]. Given that despite Cracked being American and with an excessively US-centric POV, most readers are foreigners, the comments usually go down into a FlameWar. |
| 42 | * AmericaSavesTheDay: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_1446_18-moments-in-history-youre-picturing-incorrectly_p3/ 18 Moments In History You're Picturing Incorrectly]] points out how we'd all be speaking German if not for the US's involvement in [=WW2=], but in fact only 220,000 Americans died in the European Theater compared to the 20 ''million'' Russians fighting back the Nazis. |
| 43 | * AndIMustScream: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/seanbabys-brockways-choose-your-drug-fueled-adventure/ Do not trifle with the Adventure Master]]. |
| 44 | * {{Animeland}}[=/=]AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles: The number of articles that ''don't'' portray Japan as being full of A. perverts, B. octopus demons, C. giant robots, or D. any combination thereof could probably be counted on one hand. |
| 45 | ** The one true exception is #1 [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20118_5-things-nobody-tells-you-about-living-in-japan_p2.html here.]] |
| 46 | * AnachronismStew: ''WebAnimation/IfDisneyCartoonsWereHistoricallyAccurate'' basically picks out some of the worst bits of European history (or HollywoodHistory) and has the princess walk by them, from a plague that [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Death kills the majority of the population]] (1300s) to eating horsemeat ([[https://books.google.com/books?id=WV8WAAAAQBAJ&pg=PA98 a rare practice which the plague ended in RealLife]] until the [[http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/06/dining/the-raw-truth-dont-blame-the-mongols-or-their-horses.html?_r=0 19th century]]), to a witch burning ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch-hunt#Transition_to_the_early_modern_witch-hunts 1480s-1780s]]). |
| 47 | * AntiHumor: In [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19213_7-animals-that-are-evolving-right-before-our-eyes.html 7 Animals That Are Evolving Right Before Our Eyes]]: |
| 48 | -->'''Q:''' What did the elephant say to the poacher?\ |
| 49 | '''A:''' Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.\ |
| 50 | Sorry about that. Sometimes we get "joke" mixed up with "tragic imagined dialogue that could be happening at this very second if elephants had the power of speech. |
| 51 | * AnythingYouCanDoICanDoBetter: |
| 52 | ** After Adam Brown published "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-things-i-learned-watching-every-wayans-bros-movie-in-day/ 6 Things I Learned Watching Every Wayans Bros Movie In A Day]]", Felix Clay did a similar thing with what he considers to be much worse, ''Film/TheHumanCentipede''. Hence, "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-attempts-to-sit-through-worst-trilogy-in-history/ 6 Attempts To Sit Through The Worst Trilogy In History]]". |
| 53 | ** In "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-best-order-to-watch-star-wars-movies/ The Best Order To Watch The Star Wars Movies]]", Luis Prada views the ''Franchise/StarWars'' films in different orders in an attempt to one up on Rod Hilton's "[[http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/ Machete order]]" (IV - V - II - III - VI). He considers each attempt a failure: |
| 54 | *** '''Meeting In The Middle:''' Prada tries viewing the movies in an order similar to ''Manga/{{Phoenix}}'' (I - VI - II - V - III - IV). He ends up not making it though this order, finding it "scattered and stupid" and a time-waster. |
| 55 | *** '''Reverse Chronological Order:''' Attempting to watch the films from last to first (VI - V - IV - III - II - I), Prada finds the impact of each successive film is ruined by the one before it. |
| 56 | *** '''''Attack Of The Clones'' Six Times:''' Six consecutive viewings of the episode he considers [[invoked]]SoBadItsGood just ends up amplifying its bad qualities, instead of adding anything of value. |
| 57 | *** '''Making It Up As I Go (Or, The "Whiny Little Ani Gets What's Coming To Him" Order):''' For this last attempt, Prada tries relying on pure improvision. What he ended up with (IV until Darth Vader's first appearance - I - the rest of IV - V - VI) is the SpiritualAntithesis of the Machete order, as it strips [[TragicVillain Anakin Skywalker]] of sympathy and enhances his villainy, as well as making the series in general worse. |
| 58 | * ApocalypseAnarchy: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_96_if-everyone-knew-world-was-ending-tomorrow/ If Everyone Knew the World Was Ending Tomorrow]]. |
| 59 | * ApocalypticLog: A common format. |
| 60 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-internet-prescribed-cleanses-that-made-me-immortal/ 5 Internet Prescribed 'Cleanses' That Made Me Immortal]] is a good example. |
| 61 | * AppealToWorseProblems: David Wong commits this fallacy in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-reasons-news-looks-worse-than-it-really-is/ "7 Reasons The World Looks Worse Than It Really Is"]] saying that people complaining about how the economy has lessened their opportunities are just cynical people not trying hard enough. Ignoring the people who are trying but getting nowhere or the people with unique skills who still aren't getting anywhere. But then Wong is probably ''Cracked's'' most reactionary writer. |
| 62 | ** However, Wong also wrote "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-things-rich-people-need-to-stop-saying/ 6 Things Rich People Need to Stop Saying]]," in which he explicitly acknowledges this problem and says it's insulting to tell poor folks that they're just not working hard enough. His point is less, "The world is awesome and it's you who suck," and more, "Change the things you have control over, and keep in mind that things were much worse in the past so you don't become cynical." |
| 63 | * AppropriatedAppellation: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20679_5-famous-symbols-that-were-created-to-be-horrible-insults.html 5 Famous Symbols that Were Created to Be Horrible Insults]] explains how the gay-pride pink triangle came from the Nazis, the donkey came from political cartoons dissing President Andrew Jackson, and "Yankee" came from a song written by a British army physician claiming that the rebels were aspiring to a social class they did not deserve. |
| 64 | * TheAristocrats: The #3 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_615_33-plot-twists-cut-from-disney-movies_p2/ plot twist cut from a Disney animated movie]]. |
| 65 | -->So what do you call your act?\ |
| 66 | ''WesternAnimation/TheAristocats''! |
| 67 | * ArchEnemy: The [[http://www.cracked.com/funny-6484-the-daily-mail/ Daily Mail]]. |
| 68 | ** When the Mail plagiarised Cracked content, [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/a-sincere-apology-from-cracked-to-daily-mail/ Cracked wrote this hilarious riposte.]] |
| 69 | ** One of the ways to know it's a bullshit story? [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-easy-ways-to-spot-b.s.-news-story-internet/ Simple, it's published in the fucking Daily Mail.]] |
| 70 | ** They now fear that the [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-b.s.-christmas-stories-news-told-you-were-real/ Daily Mail's penchant for spreading bullshit stories is going to get us all killed by Aliens.]] |
| 71 | * ArsonMurderAndJaywalking |
| 72 | ** From "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_18775_5-popular-safety-measures-that-dont-make-you-any-safer.html 5 Popular Safety Measures That Don't Make You Any Safer]]": |
| 73 | -->"Let's face it, cities can be terrifying. They are, after all, filled with people like us. The modern metropolis is a teeming hive of strung-out dope heads, rapists, home invaders and fine regional cuisine." |
| 74 | ** From "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_18967_6-famous-movies-with-mind-blowing-hidden-meanings.html 6 Famous Movies with Mind-Blowing Hidden Meanings]]": |
| 75 | -->"We tend to find Spider-Man easier to identify with than other superheroes. He's not an alien, like Superman, or the son of a major Norse god, like Thor, or a Canadian, like Wolverine." |
| 76 | ** From "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_18443_6-famous-movie-wisemen-who-were-totally-full-shit.html 6 Famous Movie Wisemen Who Were Totally Full of Shit]]" |
| 77 | --> We are ''not'' blaming bad teachers for [Adolf] Hitler, [[WesternTerrorists Timothy McVeigh]], and [[{{Jerkass}} Spencer Pratt]]. |
| 78 | ** From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16785_7-retarded-food-myths-internet-thinks-are-true.html 7 Retarded Food Myths the Internet Thinks Are True]]: |
| 79 | --> We love the way the writer crammed in every scary word they could think of: rape, war, cancer, emphysema, respiratory distress, anemia, constipation, irritability, blindness, Canada. |
| 80 | ** From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19535_6-animals-with-better-memories-than-you.html 6 Animals with Better Memories than You]]: |
| 81 | --> We tend to think of ourselves as the smartest animals on Earth. After all, we've built such technological wonders such as the internet, the internal combustion engine, and sneakers that light up when you take a step |
| 82 | ** From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18894_6-real-historic-battles-decided-by-divine-intervention.html 6 Real Historic Battles Decided by Divine Intervention]]: |
| 83 | -->[The rebels] were trapped, outnumbered, ill-equipped, poorly trained, freezing, and starving, ''and'' it was raining. |
| 84 | ** "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_19957_8-mind-blowing-realities-our-future-full-old-people_p2.html 8 Mind-Blowing Realities of Our Future Full of Old People]]" describes a likely reaction to a proposed solution to the coming farm labor shortage. |
| 85 | -->Oh hey, let's import unwhites to do our labor! Why don't we bring back slavery and dial-up Internet service while we're at it? |
| 86 | ** "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-innocent-sounding-topics-that-are-guaranteed-flame-wars/ 6 Innocent Sounding Topics that are Guaranteed Flame Wars]]" |
| 87 | -->There are certain topics everybody knows are going to start a fight - politics, religion, abortion, video game consoles - important things like that. |
| 88 | ** Dan O'Brien on [[Series/GameOfThrones Joffrey]] in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-problems-with-living-in-game-thrones-universe/ 4 Problems with Living in the Game of Thrones Universe]],: |
| 89 | -->He looks like if vanity, smugness and blond hair had a baby. |
| 90 | ** From "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20210_7-iconic-skylines-that-almost-looked-ridiculous.html 7 Iconic Skylines that Almost Looked Ridiculous]]"... |
| 91 | -->Every city in the world shares the same basic building blocks — brick, stone, steel, mortar, and UsefulNotes/McDonalds restaurants. |
| 92 | *** From that same article: |
| 93 | --->London is home to some of the world's most famous historical architecture, including the Tower of London, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, and that movie studio where they shot Batman. |
| 94 | ** From "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_18943_the-6-most-pointless-supervillain-schemes-ever-hatched.html?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=yesincite The 6 Most Pointless Supervillain Schemes Ever Hatched]]": |
| 95 | -->There are lots of reasons why criminals should be afraid of Batman: He's trained in martial arts, he's a genius detective and he's dressed like a giant bat. |
| 96 | ** From "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-people-etsy-who-are-clearly-serial-killers/ 5 People on Etsy Who Are Clearly Serial Killers]]: |
| 97 | -->Whether it's fashioning suits out of women, stitching masks from travelers' faces, or building a puppet that can ride a tricycle, [[SpoofAesop the real moral seems to be that you should never trust anyone]] [[MadArtist who genuinely seems to enjoy sewing]]. |
| 98 | ** The lead of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20395_5-heartwarming-accomplishments-by-hardened-prison-inmates.html 5 Heartwarming Accomplishments by Hardened Prison Inmates]] claims that humans are "capable of some pretty terrible stuff, like robbery and murder and [[Music/{{U2}} Bono]]." |
| 99 | ** The beginning of the [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21438_5-mundane-things-that-caused-earth-shattering-destruction.html 5 Mundane Things That Caused Earth-Shattering Destruction]] claims that all the "well-known sources of disaster" are hurricanes, tornadoes, avalanches, and Music/JohnnyCash. |
| 100 | ** Two for one in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18757_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible.html 5 Things You Won't Believe Aren't In the Bible]]: |
| 101 | -->The devil, also known as Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, Mr. Scratch, Old Nick and Al Pacino, is the cloven-hoofed, pitchfork-wielding, red-skinned, horned king of hell and founder of the metal genre of music. |
| 102 | ** From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_24110_6-characters-whose-lives-fell-apart-when-movie-ended.html 6 Characters Whose Lives Fell Apart When the Movie Ended.]] |
| 103 | -->As you probably know, ''Film/IndependenceDay'' recently got a sequel, ''Film/IndependenceDayResurgence'', starring Jeff Goldblum, Brent Spiner, and the boxcar hobo that killed Bill Pullman and stole his identity. |
| 104 | ** "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-its-perfectly-fine-to-harshly-judge-someone/ 5 Ways It's Perfectly Okay to Harshly Judge Someone]]", as its #4 entry, points out how the phrase "All's Fair In Love and War" really just serves as a cover for MoralMyopia: |
| 105 | -->"Did you hear [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections the boss gave the promotion to his mistress?]]"\ |
| 106 | "Well, all's fair in love and war."\ |
| 107 | "[[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney That rich donor was moved to the front of the hospital's organ transplant list.]]"\ |
| 108 | "Yeah, well all's fair in love and war."\ |
| 109 | If you encounter one of these people, try telling them something less generally horrible and more specific to them. [[ItsAllAboutMe You'll get a different reaction:]]\ |
| 110 | [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking "Do you know that someone took your parking space?"]]\ |
| 111 | "Well, all's fair in ... [[SubvertedCatchphrase wait, really?]] WHAT THE FUCK?!" |
| 112 | ** From [[https://www.cracked.com/article_26758_6-hilariously-awful-lessons-hidden-in-famous-video-games.html 6 Hilariously Awful Lessons Hidden in Famous Video Games]]: |
| 113 | -->Player character [[VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption2 Arthur Morgan]] commits murder, various types of robbery, and most heinous of all... [[EvilDebtCollector money-]]{{l|oanShark}}ending? |
| 114 | *** And from the same article: |
| 115 | --->Lara Croft from the original ''Franchise/TombRaider'' games famously didn't give a crap who she killed. She would murder surrendering technicians, lure innocent clones into lava, poke people in the eyes with the cones on her chest, etc. |
| 116 | ** From [[https://www.cracked.com/article_31179_4-classic-childhood-movies-that-got-suprising-stealth-sequels.html 4 Classic Childhood Movies That Got Suprising Stealth Sequels]]: |
| 117 | -->''WesternAnimation/{{Zootopia}}'' is a world of police brutality, incompetent unjust government, and Music/{{Shakira}} playing a gazelle. |
| 118 | ** From the article "[[https://www.cracked.com/article_31337_family-guy-creates-health-psa-because-i-guess-thats-where-were-at-now.html 'Family Guy' Releases Health PSA Because That's Where We're At Now]]": |
| 119 | -->If the increasingly frequent clues hinting at a mass extinction, the triumphant return of murder hornets, and social media's unending obsession with a Starburst commercial from 2007 weren't enough indicators that the end is nigh[...] |
| 120 | ** From "[[https://www.cracked.com/article_33066_how-a-forgotten-80s-rpg-gave-birth-to-the-star-wars-expanded-universe.html How A Forgotten '80s RPG Gave Birth To The 'Star Wars' Expanded Universe]]": |
| 121 | -->''Star Wars'' has obviously featured a number of iconic villains over the years, from Darth Vader to Emperor Palpatine to mid-'90s digital technology. |
| 122 | ** At one point in the article "[[https://www.cracked.com/article_24805_6-disney-scenes-that-are-way-more-tragic-than-you-realized.html 6 Disney Scenes That Are Way More Tragic Than You Realized]]", Mufasa's death in ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994'' is described in the following manner: |
| 123 | -->A whole generation of children developed an irrational fear of antelope hooves thanks to Mufasa's death scene in ''The Lion King'' -- though it's unclear if he died from getting trampled by the antelopes, falling off that cliff, or because the claw wounds on his paw got infected. |
| 124 | * ArtisticLicenseHistory: The DeconstructiveParody of Franchise Franchise/{{Disney Princess}}es, ''WesternAnimation/IfDisneyCartoonsWereHistoricallyAccurate'', has a gag in which [[WesternAnimation/{{Pocahontas}} Meeko]], a raccoon, is dead and presented as a food item. As the video is meant to be set in Medieval Europe, Meeko shouldn't be there at all, for raccoons wouldn't be introduced to Europe until the 20th century. |
| 125 | * ArtisticLicenseLaw: The title of "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20066_5-everyday-things-you-wont-believe-are-copyrighted.html 5 Everyday Things You Won't Believe Are Copyrighted]]" is a LieToChildren. Items #5, #4, and #1 refer to trademarks, and #3 and #2 refer to patents. |
| 126 | * ArtisticLicenseLawEnforcement: Discussed in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18385_7-bullshit-police-myths-everyone-believes-thanks-to-movies_p1.html 7 Bullshit Police Myths Everyone Believes (Thanks to Movies)]], and [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18815_the-5-most-wildly-illegal-court-rulings-in-movie-history.html The Five Most Wildly Illegal Court Rulings in Movie History]] point out many instances of this trope, including many listed here, such as ''Film/TheUntouchables1987'', ''Film/PrimalFear'', ''Film/ATimeToKill'', ''Film/TwelveAngryMen'', and ''Film/MiracleOnThirtyFourthStreet''. Note that not all of the examples are correct, though. |
| 127 | * ArtisticLicensePolitics: The article of [[https://www.cracked.com/article_22994_6-straightforward-political-truths-that-arent-that-simple.html 6 Pleasant Surprises About Political Myths You Had All Wrong]] that talks about "[[CommonKnowledge political truths]]" in the US that are not as straightforward as people think. |
| 128 | * AscendedFanon:[[invoked]] {{Discussed|Trope}} in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20793_6-fan-ideas-so-good-they-were-adopted-by-creators.html 6 Fan Ideas So Good They Were Adopted by the Creators]]. The explanation why [[Franchise/StarTrek Klingons]] have ridges on their foreheads but didn't in [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries the original series]]? Nerd arguments. [[VideoGame/DiabloII The Secret Cow Level?]] Internet rumor. Old Man Winter in ''VideoGame/BioshockInfinite''? Fanart. Invention of new fatalities and kharacters with fully fleshed-out lore to fit into the story in ''VideoGame/MortalKombat9''? Fan rumors. A reasonable scenario for ComicBook/NormanOsborn to have sex with [[ComicBook/SpiderMan Gwen Stacy]]? An essay by a fan. Walter's motivation to come out of hiding in the finale of ''Series/BreakingBad''? A dying fan wondering, "What's his deal with [[spoiler:Gretchen and Elliott]]?" |
| 129 | * AssholeVictim: Robert Brockway mentions killing an old woman for her eyeglasses in ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'', having taken the Four-Eyes trait and didn't find glasses anywhere else; however, [[spoiler:the woman sold a pregnant woman into slavery and would have been killed in a quest anyway]]. |
| 130 | * AttentionDeficitOohShiny: #6 on [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_259_if-everything-got-adorable-mascot_p2/ If Everything Got An Adorable Mascot]] is Addie the ADHD tornado. "Let us help you learn to cope with... Ohh!!! Shiny!!!" |
| 131 | * AttentionWhore: The subject of "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-assholes-who-found-this-article-by-googling-themselves/ 8 Douchebags who Found this Article by Googling Themselves]]." |
| 132 | * AttractiveBentGender: This comment on [[GenderFlip Fionna]] from ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' in "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-cartoon-characters-guys-secretly-find-sexy/ 6 Cartoon Characters Guys Secretly Find Sexy]]": |
| 133 | -->'''Felix Clay:''' While Finn is drawn as pretty much a ''Tetris'' piece with [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer rabbit]] ears, Fionna is made deliberately curvy and curiously athletic, with hip and breast definition. Am I sick for noticing that? Probably. |
| 134 | * AudienceAlienatingPremise: [[invoked]] Brought up in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-simple-ways-hollywood-could-make-movies-stop-sucking/ "6 Ways Hollywood Could Make Movies Stop Sucking"]]: |
| 135 | -->''"''Film/{{Mortdecai}}'' made a cringeworthy $10 million in its first weekend. But what's worse is that ''anyone'' expected otherwise, as this film about Johnny Depp playing a goofy eccentric clown was inexplicably rated R -- as in, it was restricted from the ''only people'' who would possibly want to see Jack Sparrow do silly walks on camera. Seriously, who was this movie even for? What fictional demographic were the executives imagining when they released this cinematic enigma?"'' |
| 136 | * AudienceSurrogate: "Make Them Look and Sound Like the Audience, Against All Logic" is #4 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19183_6-tricks-movies-use-to-make-sure-you-root-right-guy.html 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy]]. |
| 137 | * AuthorAppeal: |
| 138 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19137_6-artists-whose-weird-fetishes-defined-pop-culture.html 6 Artists Whose Weird Fetishes Defined Pop Culture]] |
| 139 | ** Franchise/{{Batman}}. Seriously. He's the [[Creator/FrankMiller god-damn]] Patron Saint of this site. If ''anything'' can have a Batman reference, it ''will''. |
| 140 | * AutomatonHorses: Photoplasty advertises a {{w|arpWhistle}}histle to summon one in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_273_26-ads-products-that-must-exist-in-video-games_p26/#5 Ads for Products That Must Exist in Video Games]]. |
| 141 | * AutopsySnackTime: #4 of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-bizarrely-specific-rules-that-exist-in-movie-universes/ 4 Bizarrely Specific Rules That Exist in Movie Universes]] mentions cases in ''Film/GoneInSixtySeconds2000'', ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', and others where it appears a coroner ''can't'' [[Memes/{{Nintendo}} enjoy his sandwich]] without a corpse in the room. It even links back to the trope page. |
| 142 | * AwardSnub: InUniverse. [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15856_the-7-most-unforgivable-grammy-award-snubs-all-time.html "The 7 Most Unforgivable Grammy Award Snubs of All Time."]] |
| 143 | * AwesomeButImpractical: |
| 144 | ** The ball tank, #2 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19914_6-utterly-insane-innovations-history-was-sure-were-coming_p2.html 6 Utterly Insane Innovations History Was SURE Were Coming]] and #2 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17366_7-wtf-military-weapons-you-wont-believe-they-actually-built_p2.html 7 WTF Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built]]. |
| 145 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16983_the-11-most-retarded-fictional-weapons.html The 11 Most Retarded Fictional Weapons]], including the Klingon bat'leth. |
| 146 | * AwesomenessIsVolatile: Used in entry #1 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19252_6-impossible-escapes-using-impossibler-methods.html 6 Impossible Escapes Using Impossibler Methods]] to describe the meeting between UsefulNotes/WorldWarII U.S. airborne soldier [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Beyrle Joseph Beyrle]] -- who was fighting as a member of the Red Army at the time after escaping from a [=POW=] camp -- and eventual four-times Hero of the Soviet Union [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgy_Zhukov Marshal Georgy Zhukov]]. A photo of Zhukov is provided with the caption "When they shook hands, four people caught on fire." |
| 147 | [[/folder]] |
| 148 | |
| 149 | [[folder:B]] |
| 150 | * BadassAdorable: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19243_6-terrifying-predators-routinely-owned-by-adorable-prey.html 6 Terrifying Predators Routinely Owned by Adorable Prey]]. |
| 151 | * BadassBystander: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20767_5-nobodies-who-stumbled-into-wars-kicked-everyones-ass.html 5 Nobodies Who Stumbled into Wars and Kicked Everyone's Ass.]] |
| 152 | * BadBoss: [[http://www.cracked.com/article/89_the-6-most-horrific-bosses-all-time/ These six]]. |
| 153 | * BagOfHolding: Photoplasty advertises jeans with such a pocket in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_273_26-ads-products-that-must-exist-in-video-games_p26/#13 Ads for Products That Must Exist in Video Games]]. |
| 154 | * BaitAndSwitch: From [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-awesome-theories-that-totally-change-famous-characters/ 6 Awesome Theories That Totally Change Famous Characters]]: |
| 155 | -->''(at the end of a section about ''Franchise/StarTrek''[='=]s [[TheSpock Spock]])''\ |
| 156 | But that's enough about ridiculous theories and ''Star Trek''.\ |
| 157 | ''(another ''Star Trek'' section begins, this time focusing on [[TheKirk Kirk]])''\ |
| 158 | PSYCH! [[TakeThatAudience Fuck you.]] |
| 159 | * BaitAndSwitchComment: |
| 160 | ** This is a common format for article titles, such as "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_17093_10-awesome-ads-for-traumatizing-children.html 10 Awesome Ads (For Traumatizing Children)]]". |
| 161 | ** From "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_23370_6-incredible-spoilers-hidden-in-famous-video-games.html 6 Incredible Spoilers Hidden In Famous Video Games]]": |
| 162 | --->''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolidVThePhantomPain MGSV]]'' tells the tale of a once noble hero descending into villainy, alienating once loyal friends, and becoming an evil scoundrel reviled by the entire world. [[TakeThat But, enough about]] Creator/{{Konami}}. |
| 163 | * BallsOfSteel: In [[http://www.cracked.com/article_24353_5-people-who-couldnt-be-killed-despite-their-best-efforts.html 5 People Who Couldn't Be Killed Despite Their Best Efforts]], before becoming Tennessee's governor and the inspired namesake of Houston, Texas, Samuel Houston served in the War of 1812. In the Battle of Horseshoe Bend, he took a barbed arrow right to the groin, but demanded that a fellow soldier remove it and ran right back into the battlefield. |
| 164 | * BearsAreBadNews: The final entry in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18550_5-true-war-stories-that-put-every-action-movie-to-shame_p2.html 5 True War Stories That Put Every Action Movie to Shame]]. We'll just let it speak for itself. |
| 165 | * TheBeastmaster: In Photoplasty contest [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_553_28-inspirational-image-memes-revised-honesty/ 28 Inspirational Image Memes (Revised for Honesty)]], #5 is "If at first you don't succeed, command an army of birds." |
| 166 | * BehindTheBlack: In Swaim's normal series you never see his legs, and he once claimed to not have any. |
| 167 | * BerserkButton: |
| 168 | ** Seanbaby has a HUGE one in the "romance" guides of one Gregory JP Godek. Every article he even tangentially features in devolves into Seanbaby cursing his birth. |
| 169 | ** Cody and ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen''. If the show comes up at any point in one of his articles, expect it to devolve into pure bile. |
| 170 | * BeTheBall: The operation of the Morph Ball in ''Franchise/{{Metroid}}'' is the #27 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]]. |
| 171 | * BetterByADifferentName: |
| 172 | ** Discussed in #4 of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common-movie-arguments-that-are-always-wrong/ 6 Common Movie Arguments That Are Always Wrong]]. |
| 173 | ** Yet it goes on to explain why ''Film/HomeAlone'' and ''Film/DieHard'' are [[http://www.cracked.com/funny-4445-home-alone/ the same movie]]. |
| 174 | * BestedAtBowling: {{Lampshaded}} in one [[http://www.cracked.com/video_18298_proof-that-women-are-just-as-good-at-sports-in-movies.html sketch]]. The girl shows up to the challenge not knowing what sport she's playing (basketball) and clearly can't handle the ball. Meanwhile, he is athletic and clearly experienced, yet the video makes sure she hits every basket ..even using an obvious male stunt double for a dun-- and he fails every single one. In the end, the lesson, as she puts it, is that movie law will not let a smug guy beat a cute girl at sports. |
| 175 | * BewareTheNiceOnes: Katy in "[[http://www.cracked.com/video_18434_worst-fight-club-ever.html Worst Fight Club Ever]]"; she's bubbly, cheerfully enthusiastic and brings everyone snacks, but is apparently a member of ''another'' fight club and manages to lay Breandon out with one punch without losing her cheeriness once. |
| 176 | * BiggerIsBetterInBed: Subverted in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21748_7-horrifying-lessons-learned-directing-porno_p2.html "7 Horrifying Lessons Learned Directing a Porno"]], revealing that having a 10 inch penis is ''not'' a blessing. Two of the actresses refused to work with a male actor because he was just too big. |
| 177 | -->People who's job is to take giant cocks fear this man's cock. |
| 178 | * TheBigGuy: Compared to the other columnists, Seanbaby is this physically, Robert Brockway is [[HotBlooded this in personality.]] |
| 179 | ** Also, Michael Swaim. He doesn't look that big until he's placed next to his coworkers in video sketches, when it becomes readily apparent that he is a full head taller (or more) than everyone else. |
| 180 | ** John Cheese too at 6"3". |
| 181 | * BilingualDialogue: Called [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18721_the-5-stupidest-ways-movies-deal-with-foreign-languages.html The 5th Stupidest Way Movies Deal with Foreign Languages]]. |
| 182 | * BlackComedy: [[http://www.cracked.com/article/188_7-great-products-telling-world-youre-rich-dick/ 7 Great Products for Telling the World You're a Rich Dick]]. |
| 183 | -->"Perhaps you could pretend the people out in the street begging for food are orcs!" |
| 184 | * BlatantLies: "America's Only Humor & Video Site, [[AnachronismStew Since 1958]]". This date refers to [[Magazine/{{Cracked}} Cracked's beginning as a magazine]] rivaling ''Magazine/{{Mad}}'' in 1958. |
| 185 | ** By 2013, the "Since 1958" had disappeared from the front page. But stories still refer to it occasionally, such as "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20601_6-ridiculous-myths-you-believe-about-stuff-you-use-every-day_p2.html 6 Ridiculous Myths You Believe About Stuff You Use Every Day]]", which states that locking refrigerators were banned in the United States around the time ''Cracked'' first appeared on newsstands. |
| 186 | * BleepDammit: The titles of articles about [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/5-meteor-videos-that-prove-russians-dont-give-f2340k/ meteors]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-video-game-endings-that-are-clearly-f234025ing-with-us/ video game endings]] jarringly [[SymbolSwearing grawlix out]] a certain word starting with F that article bodies use uncensored all the time. Yet [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18380_the-6-most-statistically-full-shit-professions.html an article about so-called experts]] gets away with an S-bomb in the title. |
| 187 | * BlindWeaponmaster: One of Jorden Weir's [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20653_5-people-whose-major-disabilities-only-made-them-stronger.html 5 People Whose Major Disabilities Only Made Them Stronger]] is a blind sharpshooter. |
| 188 | * BlockPuzzle: The reason "interior design" is #3 on [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-real-skills-video-games-have-secretly-been-teaching-us/#ixzz1aa4xYJ1T 5 Real Skills Video Games Have Secretly Been Teaching Us]]. Apparently, all that moving blocks around is great training for knowing just how to arrange furniture to make it easy to get around. |
| 189 | ** You'd think he'd mention the LightAndMirrorsPuzzle as well. I know I'd hire a ''Deflektor'' veteran to set up the lamps and mirrors in my study so the light was just right. |
| 190 | * BMovie: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_235_b-movie-posters-classic-films/ B-Movie Posters for Classic Films]]. |
| 191 | * BitingTheHandHumor: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrible-combinations-made-from-great-things/#ixzz1jTJ2Dlkn "It's the stupidest idea for someone to sink money into ever since somebody decided to start a website based only on the name recognition of a magazine that no longer existed."]] |
| 192 | * BodyHorror: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_175_when-human-evolution-adapts-to-modern-gadgets_p1 This]] Photoplasty contest. |
| 193 | * BoomerangBigot: Adam Tod Brown's [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-famous-people-we-didnt-hate-enough-in-2014/?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Celebrities&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module article]] condemns Iggy Azalea for being Australian, because it automatically makes her a racist. He then goes on to berate the entire Australian continent for not being as enlightened about racial issues as America. (And ''Cracked'' has countless lists that prove Americans still have issues with racism) |
| 194 | * BottomlessBladder: Photoplasty advertises undergarments and supplements that make this possible in "Ads for Products That Must Exist in Video Games": [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_273_26-ads-products-that-must-exist-in-video-games_p26/#20 #20]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_273_26-ads-products-that-must-exist-in-video-games_p26/#4 #4]]. |
| 195 | * BoxAndStickTrap: #13 of Photoplasty [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_520_18-things-you-never-noticed-in-famous-pictures-part-2/ 18 Things You Never Noticed in Famous Pictures (Part 2)]] takes Kevin Carter's Pulitzer-winning photo of a vulture stalking a crouching Sudanese child and adds a ray of hope by having the child bait a vulture into such a trap. A kid's gotta eat somehow. |
| 196 | * BrainsAndBondage: If [[http://www.cracked.com/article_22252_7-things-50-shades-gets-wrong-about-bdsm-from-expert.html this]] article on BDSM is to be believed (which was written with the help of college professor who practices S&M), dom/sub relationships involve more philosophy and psychology than ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'', except said relationships make sense. |
| 197 | * BreadEggsBreadedEggs: |
| 198 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-animals-that-could-take-over-world-if-they-wanted-to/ Animals that could take over the world if they wanted to]] |
| 199 | --> "... humans have been able to relax and dedicate our fight-or-flight reflexes to more leisurely pursuits, like car racing and fight clubs and car fighting." |
| 200 | ** "So when a [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-superpowers-everyone-thinks-they-secretly-have/ camera, or a phone, or a camera phone]] doesn't heed our commands..." |
| 201 | ** "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20538_6-games-that-put-insane-detail-into-stuff-you-didnt-notice_p2.html [The NPC] may get killed by a monster, robbed by a thief, or killed and robbed by a monster thief...]] |
| 202 | ** Cities that get a lot of tourism are characterized using this in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-stupid-travel-myths-everyone-believes/ 5 Stupid Travel Myths Everyone Believes]]. |
| 203 | --> By simply walking around, you'll ... see the way they drive (manically), the way they urinate in the street (freely), and the way they urinate while they drive (frothily). |
| 204 | ** In [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrible-things-we-only-know-because-internet/ 5 Terrible Things We Only Know Because of the Internet]], Felix Clay describes the Internet as "full of hilarious gifs and cats and gifs of cats." |
| 205 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20707_7-mind-blowing-chemical-reactions-you-wont-believe-are-real_p2.html 7 Mind-Blowing Chemical Reactions You Won't Believe Are Real]] describes triboluminescence, the effect where crushing certain crystals releases light. |
| 206 | --> Back in the 18th century, when many folks still thought scientific phenomena were caused by ghosts or witches or the ghosts of witches[...] |
| 207 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_767_42-sci-fi-movies-if-they-were-updated-realism/ 42 Sci-Fi Movies (If They Were Updated for Realism)]] lists ''Franchise/StarTrek'' holodeck programs including "bone Counselor Troi", "bone Seven of Nine", "bone Doctor Crusher", and "bone Counselor Troi, Seven of Nine, and Doctor Crusher". |
| 208 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21221_the-6-most-wtf-old-timey-porn-trends_p2.html The 6 Most WTF Old-Timey Porn Trends]] describes carousels as "the most boring part of carnivals, which in turn are decidedly the least sexy things in the entire world, what with all the puke and carnies and puke-covered carnies." |
| 209 | ** In the list of the [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21942_6-celebrities-you-didnt-know-had-ridiculous-music-careers_p2.html 6 Celebrities You Didn't Know Had Ridiculous Music Careers]], Jackie Chan's songs are described as having "lyrics touching diverse topics such as falling in love, falling out of love, or falling in love and then out of love." |
| 210 | ** The first sentence of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-awesome-things-with-inexplicably-bad-reputations/ 5 Awesome Things With Inexplicably Bad Reputations]]: |
| 211 | ---> There are some things that everyone agrees are awful, like paper cuts, or cancer, or paper cuts from the hospital bills you receive after getting cancer. |
| 212 | ** From the [[http://www.cracked.com/article_23046_6-terrible-realities-past-that-would-ruin-time-travel.html 6 Horrifying Facts That Get Left Out of History]]: |
| 213 | --->Even the UFC, marketed as "AS REAL AS IT GETS," has several dozen rules to protect the combatants from dick attacks, bites, and dick bites. |
| 214 | ** #2 on the list of the [[http://www.cracked.com/article_24360_6-ways-fight-trans-rights-civil-rights-repeating_p2.html 6 Anti-Trans Arguments That Sound Historically Familiar]] says that one claim is, "If they let the gays marry, next thing you know, people will be [[BestialityIsDepraved marrying dogs!]] [[PaedoHunt Or children!]] Or dogs ''to'' children!" |
| 215 | * BreadEggsMilkSquick: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18508_6-terrifying-diseases-that-science-cant-explain.html#ixzz0q9xtIEL6 This article]]. "In severe cases, the condition results in difficulty breathing, problems swallowing, ''muscle ruptures and fucking broken bones''." |
| 216 | ** And zig-zagged in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19410_5-absurdly-expensive-pieces-junk-food.html this article]]: "Ramen is a bowl of noodles, broth, spices and [[PerpetualPoverty destitution]] that you'll find in college dorms and poverty-stricken homes across the U.S. " |
| 217 | ** And the final entry in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-worst-behaviors-public-transportation/?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module this article]] about bad behavior on public transport is [[spoiler:getting raped by your rickshaw driver]]. |
| 218 | ** From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19499_6-attempts-at-damage-control-that-caused-way-bigger-problems.html this article]], the opening sentence says "Mistakes are an inevitable part of human nature, but there's a system for dealing with them the right way -- The Four A's: Assess the damage, Acknowledge your role, Apologize sincerely and Assassinate all accusers." |
| 219 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19957_8-mind-blowing-realities-our-future-full-old-people_p2.html 8 Mind-Blowing Realities of Our Future Full of Old People]]" compares making a home safe for senior citizens to childproofing. |
| 220 | -->Plugs have to be covered, gates erected, breakables moved, cabinets locked, knives dulled, bullets replaced with blanks, etc. |
| 221 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20102_5-dirty-jokes-in-modern-movies-that-are-older-than-film.html 5 Dirty Jokes in Movies (That are Older than Film)]] |
| 222 | -->We tend to think of the past as a classier time when people amused themselves with nothing but clever witticisms, ingenious wordplay and racism. |
| 223 | *** And from that same article: |
| 224 | -->We see mama jokes on TV and in movies all the time, most commonly in lighthearted comedies like ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'', ''Series/{{Community}}'' and ''Film/TheExorcist''. |
| 225 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_493_if-holiday-cards-were-allowed-to-kick-ass/?view=article If Holiday Cards were Allowed to Kick Ass]]: |
| 226 | --->Naturally, most of these cards are underwhelming -- what with the nice family photo or cute children dressed as elves or a Santa cat plotting to kill its owner. |
| 227 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20763_6-mind-blowing-foreshadowing-hidden-in-famous-tv-shows.html 6 Mind-Blowing Foreshadowing Hidden in Famous TV Shows]] starts the article with this: |
| 228 | --->The shocking plot twist is a staple of TV fiction, especially in an era in which shows are competing for our attention with stuff like games, social media, and massive, massive amounts of free porn. |
| 229 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-its-perfectly-fine-to-harshly-judge-someone 5 Ways It's Perfectly Fine to Harshly Judge Someone]] starts at #3 with some SelfDeprecation humor. |
| 230 | --->Here's another way to get to know someone quickly: Watch how they treat you. Where are they defensive? I've found that, typically, people assume that their own worst qualities are present in others. Liars tend to think you're lying. Passive-aggressive people tend to think you have a HiddenAgenda. Cracked's own Felix Clay tends to think [[BestialityIsDepraved you have a puppy under your bed that you abuse sexually]]. |
| 231 | ** In the list of the [[http://www.cracked.com/article_23402_5-classic-christmas-movies-that-are-secretly-horrifying.html 5 Christmas Movies [That] You Never Realized Had Insane Messages]], the very worst aspects of Christmas in ''Film/JingleAllTheWay'' are "rampant commercialism, shitty parades, [and] Phil Hartman trying like hell to have sex with your wife". |
| 232 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_25756_5-shameless-lies-video-game-companies-got-away-with-almost.html 5 Shameless Lies Video Game Companies Got Away With (Almost)]]: |
| 233 | --->Broken Thumbs published a series of iPhone and iPad games starring Emily, a fun girl whose hobbies included shopping, playing dress-up, and violating the Child's Online Privacy Protection Act. |
| 234 | ** The [[http://www.cracked.com/article_25769_6-video-game-missions-that-totally-insulted-player.html 6 Video Game Missions That Totally Insulted The Player]] brings us ''VideoGame/EarthBound1994'', a video game in which "Players use phones to save their game, [=ATMs=] to withdraw money, burgers to replenish health, and baseball bats to beat up [[NewAgeRetroHippie hippies]] and drunkards." |
| 235 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-childrens-books-to-confuse-your-child-into-patriotism/ 5 Children's Books To Confuse Your Child Into Patriotism]]: |
| 236 | --->The clowns work the crowd, juggle, perform acrobatics, and light themselves on fire. |
| 237 | ** [[https://www.cracked.com/article_26758_6-hilariously-awful-lessons-hidden-in-famous-video-games.html 6 Hilariously Awful Lessons Hidden in Famous Video Games]]: |
| 238 | --->Video games often have simple stories with simple morals, from ''[[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Mario]]''[='=]s "[[DamselInDistress Kidnapping princesses is bad]]" to ''VideoGame/FinalFantasy''[='=]s "[[ThePowerOfFriendship Friendship will save the world]]" to ''VideoGame/UntitledGooseGame''[='=]s "Geese are evil and you should fear them." |
| 239 | ::::And |
| 240 | --->''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild'' sticks to the usual list of child-friendly morals: good prevails over evil, the most insignificant person can be a hero, and {{fish people}} really want to [[MermaidProblem fuck you]]. |
| 241 | * BreakableWeapons: Photoplasty advertises a product that dulls weapons in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_273_26-ads-products-that-must-exist-in-video-games_p26/#9 Ads for Products That Must Exist in Video Games]]. |
| 242 | * BrickJoke: A while back, Daniel O'Brien wrote [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/human-clones-do-you-fk-or-fight/ this article]], about what to do when alone in a room with your doppelganger. In Agents of Cracked season 2 episode 3, he finds himself in that exact situation, and the doppelganger brings up the article. |
| 243 | ** While the article itself is not brought up, the meet-your-doppelganger scenario showed up in Agents of Cracked season 1 episode 7 "Curse of the Idol". |
| 244 | *** Which means that DOB has both [[spoiler:fucked and fought himself]]. |
| 245 | * BritishTeeth: #8 of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_692_29-insane-pastimes-that-prove-history-was-terrifying_p29/#8 29 Insane Pastimes that prove History was Terrifying]] details how Queen Elizabeth's love of sugar left her with black teeth -- a fad that would soon follow to all of England's upper class. This fact is even mentioned in the trope article. |
| 246 | * BrownNote: According to [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20678_5-bizarre-animal-chain-reactions-our-daily-lives-are-causing.html 5 Bizarre Animal Chain Reactions Our Daily Lives Are Causing]], humans' ships' sonar gives squid fatal seizures. |
| 247 | * BrutalHonesty: The premise behind "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_15954_if-oscar-acceptance-speeches-told-truth.html If Oscar Acceptance Speeches Told The Truth]]", parodying the Oscar acceptance speeches of Creator/DenzelWashington for ''Film/TrainingDay'', Creator/AngelinaJolie for ''Film/GirlInterrupted'', Creator/TomHanks for ''Film/{{Philadelphia}}'', Creator/JamieFoxx for ''Film/{{Ray}}'', Creator/AlPacino for ''Film/ScentOfAWoman'', and Creator/BenAffleck and Creator/MattDamon for ''Film/GoodWillHunting''. Denzel Washington laments the fact that he won an oscar for portraying a role that could be described as a [[ScaryBlackMan black stereotype]], Angelina Jolie thanks {{Nepotism}} for getting her this far in Hollywood, Tom Hanks feels the need to [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday remind everyone that he is heterosexual]] after playing a gay character, Jamie Foxx thanks Ray Charles for dying just in time so it would create enough buzz for him to win the oscar, Al Pacino accuses the Academy of overlooking his previous subdued performances and decides to go into LargeHam mode for the rest of his career, and Ben Affleck and Matt Damon reveal that they didn't actually write the script, and originally conceived of it as an action movie.[[note]]Cracked is decidedly wrong on ''Good Will Hunting''. Affleck and Damon ''did'' write the script almost entirely by themselves, although it was indeed conceived as more of a spy thriller before they changed it to a straightforward drama.[[/note]] |
| 248 | * BuddyCopShow: |
| 249 | ** ''[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/why-crimes-would-never-get-solved-at-a-tv-police-station/ Why Crimes Would Never Get Solved At A TV Police Station]]'' |
| 250 | ** Called an easy way to involve a TokenMinority in the #1 [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-weirdest-lessons-80s-movies-really-wanted-to-teach-us_p2/ Weirdest Lesson '80s Movies Really Wanted to Teach Us]]. |
| 251 | * BungledSuicide: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20236_6-insane-disney-comics-you-wont-believe-are-real.html 6 Insane Disney Comics You Won't Believe Are Real]] shows some 1930 [[ComicBook/MickeyMouseComicUniverse Mickey strips]] where breaking up with Minnie causes him to attempt suicide several ways but fail each time. |
| 252 | * BurnTheWitch: Being burned is Film/MaryPoppins's nightmare according to a Photoplasty: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_334_24-nightmares-famous-fictional-characters_p24/#8 24 Nightmares of Famous Fictional Characters]] |
| 253 | * ButchLesbian: Photoplasty [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_581_17-famous-images-as-seen-from-different-angle/?view=article Famous Images, As Seen From a Different Angle]] has the linked-Venus lesbianism symbol on [[WrenchWench Rosie the Riveter's]] bicep. |
| 254 | * ButHeSoundsHandsome: In [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/this-is-why-you-dont-steal-from-cracked/ "This Is Why You Don't Steal From Cracked"]], DOB doesn't know WHO retaliated against the plagiarist, but is probably someone handsome and witty and with just a hint of Spider-Man-like qualities. |
| 255 | * TheButlerDidIt: Parodied in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_22352_5-insane-coincidences-that-solved-unsolvable-crimes_p2.html Insane Coincidences That Solved 'Unsolvable' Crimes]] where the last crime on the list was a murder -- and the killer was named Robert ''Butler''. |
| 256 | * ButtMonkey: Anytime [[ComicBook/TheAvengers Hawkeye]] is mentioned, it's invariably to criticize him for being the worst Avenger. In the same vein, many columnists (especially Gladstone) repeatedly harp on fellow columnist Adam Tod Brown. |
| 257 | [[/folder]] |
| 258 | |
| 259 | [[folder:C]] |
| 260 | * CalculatorSpelling: When covering a TeenGenius, the author points out that when they were the same age, they were spelling "BOOBLESS" (55378008) on their calculator for giggles. |
| 261 | * CaliforniaDoubling: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20173_6-places-youll-recognize-from-background-every-movie.html?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Movies+%26+TV&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=companion "6 Places You'll Recognize from the Background of Every Movie"]]. |
| 262 | * CallBack: In [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrible-scenes-that-almost-ruin-awesome-movies/ 5 Terrible Scenes That Almost Ruin Awesome Movies]], #1 is the tree rape scene from ''Film/TheEvilDead1981'', but as C. Coville says, "... well, there's no good way for a comedy site to describe a rape scene, so here's a picture of something lighthearted instead." Cue a picture of [[spoiler:''Film/LetTheRightOneIn''[==]'s [[SpecialEffectFailure cat attack scene]] from the beginning of the article]]. |
| 263 | * CaptainObvious: Done rather humorously in [[http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1604-major-surgery-with-no-painkillers-5-things-i-learned.html "Major Surgery With No Painkillers: 5 Things I Learned."]] #3's title? "Getting Your Rib Cage Torn Open Actually Hurts Quite A Bit." |
| 264 | * CaughtWithYourPantsDown: The video "The Most Surprising Problem With Making Homemade Porn" has a man arriving home to discover his roommate masturbating to his bizarrely specific fetish of pretending to direct a porno film. And, by 'pretending to direct, we mean having hired professional actors, set up cameras (that aren't rolling), lights, etc. |
| 265 | * CellPhonesAreUseless: In [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-world-changing-trends-that-will-transform-pop-culture/ 5 World-Changing Trends That Will Transform Pop Culture]], Robert Evans mentions how cell phones have become a TropeBreaker for 1990s sitcom plots. |
| 266 | * CerealViceReward: The video "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4S-SVGd3pI If Cereal Mascots Got Serious About Stealing Cereal"]] is about this trope and deconstructs it, while tossing in elements of ''Film/ReservoirDogs''. |
| 267 | * CerebusSyndrome: After a while the site's articles started tackling more serious subjects. |
| 268 | * ChainmailBikini |
| 269 | ** One of the "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_19922_5-prejudices-that-video-games-cant-seem-to-get-over.html 5 Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem to Get Over]]". |
| 270 | ** One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "the less it covers, the more it protects." |
| 271 | * ChangingClothesIsAFreeAction: In real life it isn't, according to [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-video-game-strategies-that-are-way-less-useful-in-reality/ 5 Video Game Strategies that Are Way Less Useful in Reality]]. |
| 272 | * ChristmasCreep: [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-ways-companies-are-trying-to-start-christmas-already/ 4 Ways Companies Are Trying To Start Christmas Already]] claims some retailers put their decorations up in ''June''. |
| 273 | * ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/what-happened-to-ross/ What ever happened to columnist Ross Wolinsky?]] |
| 274 | * CityInABottle: An article lists [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19976_6-isolated-groups-who-had-no-idea-that-civilization-existed.html 6 isolated groups who had no idea that civilization existed]]. |
| 275 | * ClarkKenting: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18617_the-9-stupidest-superhero-secret-identities.html?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=flashback The 9 Stupidest Superhero Secret Identities]]. The TropeNamer is #1. |
| 276 | * ClassicCheatCode: VideoGame/{{Doom}} "idspispopd" referenced in a Photoplasty: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_273_26-ads-products-that-must-exist-in-video-games_p26/#18 Ads for Products That Must Exist in Video Games]] |
| 277 | * CleanPrettyChildbirth: It posted an article called [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16508_6-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-you-about-childbirth.html 6 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Childbirth,]] none of which you will see in media (except for maybe the bill). |
| 278 | * ClothesMakeTheSuperman: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] uses Mario's suits to make the point that "there is no problem that a change of wardrobe won't solve." |
| 279 | * ColorCodedArmies: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "somebody being the wrong color is a perfectly okay reason to attack them." |
| 280 | * CombatMedic: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20706_the-5-most-badass-medics-in-history-war_p2.html?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=History&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=feature_module The 5 Most Badass Medics In The History of War ]] |
| 281 | * ComicallyMissingThePoint: One article bashes {{Boastful Rap}}s for being ''unrealistic.'' |
| 282 | ** You can expect the idiots in the comments section to do this quite a bit- the people who genuinely took the "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-steps-to-staying-relevant-as-bully-in-modern-world/ Four Steps to Staying Relevant as a Bully]]" article as serious advice are a notable example. |
| 283 | * ComicSutra: Done in a more metaphysical sense with [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-preposterous-sexual-positions-people-claim-to-use/ The 7 Most Preposterious Sexual Positions People Claim to Use]]. Bonus points for the man in all the drawings having a PornStache. |
| 284 | * CommanderContrarian: [[http://www.cracked.com/members/Adam+Tod+Brown/ Adam Tod Brown]] generally writes articles nitpicking adored pop culture staples and expressing his views on what things are liked too much and/or hated too little. Appropriately enough, his banner image is "The People vs. Adam Tod Brown". |
| 285 | * CommieNazis: An alliance between Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia was narrowly averted according to "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20192_5-insane-what-if-scenarios-that-almost-changed-everything_p2.html 5 Insane 'What If' Scenarios That Almost Changed Everything]]". |
| 286 | * ConcealmentEqualsCover: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "bullets can't pass through wood or cars." |
| 287 | * ConservationOfNinjitsu: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_2030_31-astonishing-tricks-used-to-make-video-games-come-to-life/ 31 Astonishing Tricks Used to Make Video Games Come to Life]] explains the concept of "Unit Slotting", which programs groups of enemies specific enemies to attack you usually 2-3 at a time to give the player both a fighting chance and to enhance the experience of decimating groups of enemies in an immersive fashion. |
| 288 | * ConLang: A Northern California argot called [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boontling Boontling]] is one of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20110_5-secret-languages-that-stuck-it-to-man_p2.html 5 secret languages that stuck it to the man]]. It uses English grammar but replaces many of the content words. |
| 289 | * TheConspiracy: What [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrifying-things-movies-dont-tell-you-about-los-angeles/ this article]] describes the requirement of photo ID in Los Angeles as. |
| 290 | -->'''Robert Brockway:''' It's like the government is assembling a watch list to help ensure only the beautiful people get on the Doomsday Arks. Maybe someday, after I get this cocaine habit to stick, I'll have to look into it as well. But for now, the closest thing I have to a respectable self-portrait is the defensive cell phone pic my wife snapped after she came home from shopping and realized she forgot the Jameson.\ |
| 291 | ''(pic of Brockway looking psychotic)''\ |
| 292 | '''Brockway:''' Obviously, I will not be on that Ark. |
| 293 | * ContinuityLockout: [[invoked]]In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eto3TevXmAs Escort Mission episode]] ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' and ''VideoGame/MortalKombatX'', [=n00b=] is completely lost about the story of the games and the redesign of some characters since he hasn't played any of the games since [[VideoGame/MortalKombat1992 the original arcade game]]. |
| 294 | * ContinuityNod: If a writer thinks something is particularly funny, they'll probably throw it in to whatever situation they feel is remotely appropriate. See [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-unintentionally-depressing-self-help-books-on-happiness/ this]] article where Seanbaby takes a potshot at Bullet Ball, the inventor of which you may recall being number one on Seanbaby's list of the greatest failures in the history of talent shows ever. |
| 295 | ** Rarely, the writer evokes Cracked's origins as a magazine. (The commenters do it a lot more, particularly in lists of [[FollowTheLeader rip-offs and such]], given ''Cracked'' was basically a cheaper ''Magazine/{{Mad}}''.) |
| 296 | * ConvectionSchmonvection: |
| 297 | ** Discussed in the final entry of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18862_6-deadly-injuries-you-think-youd-survive-thanks-to-movies.html 6 Deadly Injuries You Think You'd Survive (Thanks to Movies)]]. |
| 298 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_767_42-sci-fi-movies-if-they-were-updated-realism/ 42 Sci-Fi Movies (If They Were Updated for Realism)]] shows a [[Franchise/StarWars lightsaber battle]] on a platform floating above the middle of a lake of fire, except their clothes are on fire. |
| 299 | * CoolAndUnusualPunishment: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20564_5-brilliant-uses-humiliation-to-fight-crime.html 5 Brilliant Uses of Humiliation to Fight Crime]] |
| 300 | * CordonBleughChef: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-crazy-sandwiches-from-tv-shows-taste-tested21/ 6 Crazy Sandwiches from TV Shows Taste Tested]] puts various bizarre sandwiches to the test. |
| 301 | ** The "Take Me Out To The Burger (Comes With Peanuts And Cracker Jacks)" from ''WesternAnimation/BobsBurgers'' actually created a delicious mix of sweet and salty by combining soft, melted caramel popcorn onto a burger. |
| 302 | ** The Super Shaggy Sandwich from ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo'' is a multi-decker sandwich filled with ham, cheese, lettuce, ketchup, mustard, marshmellows, chocolate fudge, and sardines. The author notes that adding everything would've made for a ''weird'' but passable sandwich, but then the sardines came. On top of them smelling like death warmed over, the fish still have their bones intact. The sandwich was a complete abomination because of the fish alone. |
| 303 | ** The Tangwich from ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'' turned out to be completely delicious, albeit messy due to the powdered tang's messiness. |
| 304 | ** The Twinkie Wiener Sandwich from ''Film/{{UHF}}'' was a pleasant mix of salty and sweet, but the flavor of the cheese was lost in the combination. |
| 305 | ** The El Burdigato Supreme from ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitansGo'' Combining pizza with hot dogs, tacos, and burgers didn't turn out horrible, but nothing stood out. The author notes that hot dogs, tacos, and burgers are already used as pizza toppings anyway. |
| 306 | ** The Toothpaste Sandwich from ''Married with Children'' was completely inedible. The author knew that she was combining a non-food product with bread, and even the live studio audience in the show itself warned out not to take a bite. Al never actually takes a bite of the sandwich in the show, as he gets interrupted by the doorbell just before he does. |
| 307 | * CoveredUp: [[invoked]] One of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20403_6-famous-songs-written-by-last-person-youd-expect_p2.html 6 Famous Songs Written by the Last Person You'd Expect]] is "Red Red Wine", written and originally recorded by Music/NeilDiamond and popularized by Music/{{UB40}}'s cover. |
| 308 | * CowboyBebopAtHisComputer: Could have their own page for this. Just go through the trope's pages to see how often they're mentioned. |
| 309 | * CrappyHolidays: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20092_5-everyday-things-that-can-literally-drive-you-crazy_p2.html 5 Everyday Things That Can Literally Drive You Crazy]] links seasonal affective disorder in part to "three straight months of Christmas music." |
| 310 | * CrazyCatLady: |
| 311 | ** Parodied by Christina H., whose column is called "Let Me Tell You About My Cats." |
| 312 | ** Pets are #5 of the [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16220_6-things-you-didnt-know-you-could-get-addicted-to.html 6 Things You Didn't Know You Could Get Addicted To]], and this article links it to ''Toxoplasma gondii'' parasites. |
| 313 | ** Photoplasty [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_581_17-famous-images-as-seen-from-different-angle_p2/?view=article Famous Images, As Seen From a Different Angle]] shows a dozen cats on the side of the room that we don't see in James McNeill Whistler's famous portrait of his mother. |
| 314 | * CreatorBacklash: Invoked. [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18593_6-classics-despised-by-people-who-created-them.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=flashback 6 Classics Despised by the People Who Created Them]]. |
| 315 | * CreatorBreakdown: Invoked. Several of John Cheese's articles, particularly his recent ones, have been informed by his less-than-happy childhood and personal issues stemming from this. |
| 316 | ** DOB's gotten in on this trope, too, on occasion, though not nearly to the extent Cheese has. |
| 317 | * CreatorPreferredAdaptation: Invoked. [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20287_5-movies-that-improved-book-according-to-author.html 5 Movies That Improved the Book (According to the Author)]] |
| 318 | * CreepyMascotSuit: ''[[https://www.cracked.com/article_23556_7-terrifying-early-versions-famous-mascots.html 7 Famous Mascots (Who Once Looked Scary As Hell)]]'' discusses corporate mascots (most of which are costumes, though some are illustrations) that used to have unintentionally terrifying designs. The article takes every opportunity to describe these old mascots as abominations of nature that feed on the fear of children. |
| 319 | * CriticalEncumbranceFailure: Appeared in two Photoplasty contests. |
| 320 | ** A human being able to lift 300 kg as if it were nothing but not 301 kg is the #12 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games_p2/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]]. |
| 321 | *** From [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_841_29-baffling-rules-life-in-video-game-universes/ 29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes]]: "Throw away a tiny sprig of wheat and you can sprint again." |
| 322 | * CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15760_closeted-badasses-6-famous-wusses-that-would-own-you.html Closeted Badasses: 6 Famous Wusses That Would Own You]]. |
| 323 | ** And also, [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20301_the-5-most-secretly-badass-countries.html The 5 Most Secretly Badass Countries]]. |
| 324 | * TheCSIEffect: [[invoked]]Explained as arising from the misconception that government agencies are staffed by geniuses, according to "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_18960_5-things-tv-writers-apparently-believe-about-smart-people_p2.html 5 Things TV Writers Apparently Believe About Smart People]]". |
| 325 | * CutenessProximity: Any article involving cute animals will at some point dissolve into cuddly-wuddy goo, usually just before describing [[KillerRabbit how that thing will kill you.]] |
| 326 | [[/folder]] |
| 327 | |
| 328 | [[folder:D]] |
| 329 | * DancingBear: [[invoked]] Felix Clay in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-horror-mashups-just-crazy-enough-to-be-awesome/ 6 Horror Mashups Just Crazy Enough to Be Awesome]] calls ''Film/TheHumanCentipede'' a "Shlock shock horror movie that was made solely for the sensationalism of saying it was actually made [...] The novelty of this movie ended with the idea of it." |
| 330 | * DangerousWorkplace: Apparently the Cracked headquarters is a hellish place run by deranged lunatics lead by a rockstar-like figure with NoOSHACompliance whatsoever where writers prefer dangerous reporting missions than to writing in a wooden cage while DOB is out with a working lighter. |
| 331 | ** In ''WebVideo/AgentsOfCracked'', it's a somewhat deranged workplace run by a [[FaceFramedInShadow mysterious badass]], whose requirements for employment involve killing a man, and terrorists and ''Michael'' are allowed to roam. |
| 332 | * DarkerAndEdgier: |
| 333 | ** "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/3-movies-they-dont-make-anymore-but-really-should/ 3 Movies They Don't Make Anymore (But Really Should)]]" decries the trend of "taking popular, existing properties and bringing out the darkest and grittiest aspects they can find" seen in ''Film/HanselAndGretelWitchHunters'', among other movies. |
| 334 | ** In "[[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-bizarrely-specific-rules-fairy-tale-adaptations-all-follow/ 4 Bizarrely Specific Rules Fairy Tale Adaptations All Follow]]", David Christopher Bell claims that all film adaptations of fairy tales invoke this to invert {{Disneyfication}}. |
| 335 | * DavidVersusGoliath: ''Cracked'' cites a few cases. |
| 336 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article/93_the-7-most-badass-man-vs.-beast-showdowns/ The 7 Most Badass Man vs. Beast Showdowns]] includes a man driving a bear away by kicking it in the face and a women driving away a hippo by hitting it in the head with a stick. |
| 337 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19565_9-old-timey-animal-photos-you-wont-believe-are-real.html 9 Old Timey Animal Photos You Won't Believe Are Real]] has another case with man named Gus Waldorf going into a boxing match against bear, and as they put it "[[WorfHadTheFlu Since they followed boxing protocol as opposed to the bear's preferred combat style of straight up mauling everyone, its teeth and claws were restricted with a muzzle and boxing gloves. And even though the bear went into the ring severely handicapped,]] [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome Waldorf still lost the fight]] [[PunyHumans due to the handicap of not being a bear]]." |
| 338 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20468_the-6-most-mismatched-battles-ever-won-by-underdogs.html The 6 Most Mismatched Battles Ever Won by Underdogs]] relates victories by severely outnumbered forces in Persia, the Ottomans, Korea, Hungary, and the Mongols. |
| 339 | * DearNegativeReader: In response to some of their criticisms, some of their articles or videos have been directly aimed at detractors or designed to insult them. "Why We Title Things the Way We Do," for example, is aimed at those who complain about clickbait-y titles. |
| 340 | * DeathWorld: Having grown tired of jokes about Australia, Cracked has now gone on to imply we live in a [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19117_7-horrible-ways-universe-can-destroy-us-without-warning.html Death universe.]] |
| 341 | * DeceptivelyHumanRobots: Michael Swaim consistently refers to himself as "your Host Droid". |
| 342 | * DeconReconSwitch: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/3-reasons-its-so-hard-to-make-superman-interesting_p2/ 3 Reasons It's So Hard to Make Superman Interesting]] spends a page deconstructing the InvincibleHero and then another reconstructing a hero faced with the SadisticChoice of whom to save at any given moment. |
| 343 | * DeconstructorFleet: |
| 344 | ** Frequently, the themes for the photoshop contests amount to "Show what X would be like in the real world." |
| 345 | ** A lot of other articles, such as "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-reasons-mannequin-most-terrifying-horror-movie/ 7 Reasons 'Mannequin' is the Most Terrifying Horror Movie]]", tend toward this theme as well. ''Cracked's'' attitude toward fictional media of any sort seems to be "This would suck if it were real, therefore you suck for enjoying it in escapist fiction." |
| 346 | * DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: "Now it's time to check in on the robot body I'm building to put Clippy's mind into, in a segment I like to call 'Checking in on the robot body I'm building to put Clippy's mind into.'" |
| 347 | * DescriptionCut: Quite common. Sometimes an entry will end with something along the lines of 'The only thing crazier than that would be if x happened.' with the next entry being x. |
| 348 | * DesignatedHero: [[invoked]] [[http://www.cracked.com/article/165_6-movie-heroes-who-sucked-at-their-jobs/ 6 Movie Heroes Who Sucked at Their Jobs]]. |
| 349 | * DidntThinkThisThrough: Having gone to the trouble of staging an entire fake reality show to humiliate her ex's new partner, the PsychoExGirlfriend in ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGIM8EPsaaI&lc=z22qvvtzbrrjgz5kvacdp430mq04aqy35uu24antqnpw03c010c America's Best Girlfriend: America's Worst Reality Show]]'' should probably have made sure that the new girlfriend wasn't a professional sculptor before attempting to show her up with a pottery competition. |
| 350 | * DigitalPiracyIsEvil: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18513_5-insane-file-sharing-panics-from-before-internet.html 5 Insane File Sharing Panics From Before The Internet]] |
| 351 | * DirtyCoward: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19892_the-5-least-courageous-things-ever-done-in-crisis.html The 5 Least Courageous Things Ever Done in a Crisis.]] |
| 352 | * DisabilitySuperpower: |
| 353 | ** Someone with no legs would make a better fighter pilot because G forces wouldn't drain blood to the legs, according to the article [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18624_5-people-who-turned-awful-disabilities-into-superpowers.html 5 People Who Turned Awful Disabilities Into Superpowers]]. |
| 354 | ** One of Jorden Weir's [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20653_5-people-whose-major-disabilities-only-made-them-stronger.html 5 People Whose Major Disabilities Only Made Them Stronger]] is a mixed martial artist missing half of one forearm, making him a lot harder to grab. |
| 355 | * DisasterDominoes: "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-horror-movie-mashups-that-would-actually-be-awesome/ 4 Horror Movie Mashups That Would Creep You Out Big Time]]" outlines a scene in a hypothetical crossover movie called "{{Film/Final Destin|ation}}[[Film/TheOmen Omen]]", where a chain reaction of mishaps happens around David Thorne, but he ultimately survives it. |
| 356 | -->This whole scene takes up 7.4 seconds of screen time. The entire movie is like this. |
| 357 | * DiscreditedTrope: [[invoked]] Several articles discuss tropes deemed discredited. These include [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17392_6-sci-fi-movie-conventions-that-need-to-die.html 6 Sci-Fi Movie Conventions (That Need to Die)]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20467_5-overused-twist-endings-its-time-movies-to-retire.html 5 Overused Twist Endings It's Time For Movies to Retire]]. Taken up to eleven in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_849_the-43-most-overused-movie-tropes/ The 43 Most Overused Movie Tropes]]. |
| 358 | * {{Dismotivation}}: [[http://www.cracked.com/video_19542_why-kickstarter-not-future-movies.html How Kickstarter Is Terrible For Movies]]. Pretty glaring considering Cracked has done dozens of articles about how Hollywood's films are getting stale and repetitive. |
| 359 | * DisproportionateRetribution: Clippy [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/clippy-finally-messes-with-the-wrong-word-doc/ taunts Brockway]] about his grammar and writing skills. In return, Brockway murders his wife, mentally destroys his children, mocks Clippy's failed suicide attempt following that, and finally summons Cthulhu to drag Clippy's bleeding body away for infinite torment. [[ComedicSociopathy Harsh, yet hilarious.]] |
| 360 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-obnoxious-behaviors-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/ And here]], 7 Obnoxious Behaviours That Should Be Punishable By Death. |
| 361 | ** Seen again in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/greatest-note-ever-left-dented-car/?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module this article.]] |
| 362 | ** Robert Brockway's playthrough of ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'' made him realize that he placed more value over the life of his dog companion than that of other humans. When a soldier glitched out and shot the dog, [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge he killed every last citizen in town with a dress cane]] before he finally found the reload game option through the tears in his eyes. |
| 363 | * DistractedByTheSexy: Men make more short-term-oriented decisions after exposure to sexual stimuli, as explained in #3 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20332_5-unrealistic-movie-cliches-that-are-scientifically-accurate.html 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate]]. |
| 364 | * DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: DOB considers the hair-braid USB in ''Film/{{Avatar}}'' to be basically rape. |
| 365 | * DolledUpInstallment: "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20187_5-little-known-sequels-that-ruined-iconic-stories.html 5 Little-Known Sequels That Ruined Iconic Stories]]" explains that Charles Webb admitted that his novel ''Literature/HomeSchool'', the sequel to ''Literature/TheGraduate'', had the old characters shoehorned into a new story. |
| 366 | * DomesticAbuse: In their "14 Unintentionally Horrifying Commercials" [[http://www.cracked.com/video_19684_14-unintentionally-horrifying-commercials.html video]], a comment is made about the early part of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPr5WpTJV84 Nintendo's ad]] for ''VideoGame/NewSuperLuigiU'' where Princess Peach cries out "Mario" repeatedly in tears while cowering, saying "Is this a video game ad or a domestic abuse PSA?" |
| 367 | * DoubleStandard: "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_19922_5-prejudices-that-video-games-cant-seem-to-get-over_p2.html 5 Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem to Get Over]]" claims that video games allow lesbian subtext but no male gay subtext. |
| 368 | * DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale: Addressed in "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_21884_5-awful-realities-being-man-who-was-raped-by-woman_p2.html?utm_source=t.co&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=crackedtwitter 5 Bizarre Realities of Being a Man Who Was Raped by a Woman]]". One of the only articles on the site where the editors [[EveryoneHasStandards actually disabled the comments section]]; the subject is just that controversial and divisive. |
| 369 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sexual-assault-no-big-deal/ 7 Reasons So Many Guys Don’t Understand Sexual Consent]] claims that films like ''Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack'' normalise sexual assault by showing Han Solo physically dominating Leia before kissing her, all the while she's putting up resistance. However, no mention is made of how earlier Leia forcefully kissed Luke Skywalker just to spite Han, showing as little regard for Luke's consent as Han showed for hers. |
| 370 | * DramaticThunder: Mentioned in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18644_5-world-changing-decisions-made-ridiculous-reasons_p2.html?wa_user1=5&wa_user2=History&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended 5 World Changing Decisions (Made for Ridiculous Reasons]], regarding the plane crash that killed Music/BuddyHolly. |
| 371 | -->When Buddy found out his bassist Waylon Jennings wasn't going to be on the plane, he said to him: "Well, I hope your ol' bus freezes up." Jennings ominously replied: "Well, I hope your ol' plane crashes." A clap of thunder was heard in the background. |
| 372 | * DreadedKidsPartyEntertainerJob: "[[https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1806-were-high-boning-5-realities-being-birthday-clown.html I Am A Clown: 5 Truths You'll Wish I Didn't Tell You]]" is about the dangers that a birthday clown for hire experiences on the job. The hours are long, the performers get so little rest that they often take stimulant drugs, adults can get flirty (or worse) with the performers, the cotton candy machines are extremely dangerous, and more. |
| 373 | * DreamApocalypse: In an episode of ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', via [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20470_5-horrifying-implications-star-trek-universe.html 5 Horrifying Implications of the 'Star Trek' Universe]], Picard is playing holodeck when one of the characters asks him: "When you're gone, will this world still exist? Will my wife and kids still be waiting for me at home?" |
| 374 | * DuetBonding: #2 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20332_5-unrealistic-movie-cliches-that-are-scientifically-accurate.html 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate]] points out a study finding that people singing together end up synchronizing their brainwaves. |
| 375 | * DumpsterDive: It's a way of life in Manshiyat Naser, whose residents live off Cairo's garbage, making it one of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19590_the-6-weirdest-cities-people-actually-live-in.html The 6 Weirdest Cities People Actually Live In]]. |
| 376 | * TheDungAges: Debunked in "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20186_6-ridiculous-myths-about-middle-ages-everyone-believes.html 6 Ridiculous Myths About the Middle Ages Everyone Believes]]" and "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20615_5-ridiculous-myths-you-probably-believe-about-dark-ages.html 5 Ridiculous Myths You Probably Believe About the Dark Ages]]". |
| 377 | [[/folder]] |
| 378 | |
| 379 | [[folder:E]] |
| 380 | * EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: The first honest commercial, which was for condoms, had a different tone from the future videos of the series; while they were mostly about pointing out the ethical and other implications of using whatever product was being discussed, the condom one derived humor from just talking plainly about how condoms are used. |
| 381 | * EarnYourHappyEnding: After churning out article after depressing biographical article, [[TheWoobie John Cheese]] gives us [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-life-actually-does-get-better/ this.]] |
| 382 | ** Which then eventually leads into [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-you-know-its-time-to-get-married/ this.]] Awwwwwww. |
| 383 | * EarWorm: Discussed in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19590_the-6-weirdest-cities-people-actually-live-in.html The 6 Weirdest Cities People Actually Live In]], after a bit about a city whose residents live off the capital's garbage: "Great, now we have the ''Series/SanfordAndSon'' theme stuck in our heads." |
| 384 | * EldritchAbomination: Popsicle Pete. |
| 385 | ** [[AC:[[color:red:None of you are safe!]]]] |
| 386 | ** [[FromBadToWorse He's only the herald]]. And he walks among us already. |
| 387 | ** [[SpidersAreScary Spiders]] tend to [[RunningGag consistently]] be depicted as a borderline example of this. |
| 388 | ** Gustave the Giant Crocodile. Robert Evans describes him as "a living, breathing, scream-eating dinosaur that is so sick of his own immortality that he passes the time by destroying life whenever he sees it." |
| 389 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/extra21-mario-lopez-has-no-soul21/ Mario Lopez.]] |
| 390 | * ElementalEmbodiment: The #8 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games_p2/#8 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]] represents them as hot chicks. |
| 391 | * TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt: Several articles list [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18387_5-ways-world-could-end-youd-never-see-coming.html things that can end the world]], things that can end the world [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16817_5-cosmic-events-that-could-kill-you-before-lunch.html when you don't expect it]], and things that can end the world ''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_17562_5-horrifying-apocalyptic-scenarios-that-have-already-happened.html that already happened]]''. |
| 392 | * EnforcedMethodActing: Invoked. [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19693_5-amazing-performances-from-actors-who-werent-acting.html 5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19099_12-classic-movie-moments-made-possible-by-abuse-murder.html 12 Classic Movie Moments Made Possible by Abuse and Murder]]. |
| 393 | * EnhanceButton: Parodied in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15849_7-viral-videos-you-didnt-know-were-staged-and-how-they-did-it.html 7 Viral Videos You Didn't Know Were Staged (and How They Did It)]]: |
| 394 | -->'''David Wong:''' [W]e turned the ["How I Got My Camera" viral video] over to the 30-man Cracked.com video analysis team, who spent six months processing every pixel of the original upload. After enhancing the image to a level of clarity more than 6,000 times that of the original, they reported that there was a prominent watermark for a site called wittkopp.net in the upper right. |
| 395 | * EnhancedRemake: The #3 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games_p2/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]] is that "new 16-bit microscopes may prove existence of sub-pixel particles". |
| 396 | * {{Escalating Punchline}}: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-bizarre-things-that-make-your-memory-worse-than-you-think To my brain, that long string of numbers might as well have been written in Morse code. By a toddler. That is an orangutan.]] |
| 397 | * EvenEvilHasStandards: "Here at Cracked, one of our specialties is "not making jokes about the rape of Nanking"". |
| 398 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19393_7-ruthless-criminals-who-turned-good-when-nobody-was-looking.html 7 Ruthless Criminals Who Turned Good When Nobody Was Looking]] |
| 399 | * EvenTheGuysWantHim: Ever since Soren Bowie's headshot was posted in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrifying-things-movies-dont-tell-you-about-los-angeles/ this article]], most of the comment threads in his recent columns have consisted of both male and female readers fawning over him. |
| 400 | ** Select highlights from reader comments include: |
| 401 | --> - Holy shiiiit Soren is a beautiful man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.\ |
| 402 | - What I'm trying to say he looks like a sexy, sexy serial killer.\ |
| 403 | - Hmm, this seems like a well-written article full of information l can use to apply myself in the futu-SOOORRRRRRREEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN |
| 404 | ** This reaches new heights with the "Worst Bachelorette Party Ever" video, in which [[spoiler:Soren plays a stripper in a military uniform. And he ''really'' gets into the part.]] |
| 405 | * EveryDeviceIsASwissArmyKnife: Mentioned by name in #4 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17392_6-sci-fi-movie-conventions-that-need-to-die.html 6 Sci-Fi Movie Conventions (That Need to Die)]]. |
| 406 | * EveryoneIsRelated: Two of the examples featured in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_23432_7-insanely-awful-ideas-that-almost-ended-up-in-star-wars.html 7 Insanely Bad Ideas Cut From 'Star Wars' At The Last Second]], showing that Darth Vader was almost Boba Fett's brother and Palpatine's son. |
| 407 | * EverythingIsRacist: A number of articles and columns have been criticized for taking this viewpoint. J.F. Sargent and Luke Mc!Kinney are probably the worst offenders, since they tend to author Cracked's political articles. |
| 408 | * EverythingTryingToKillYou: Lots of lists involve various animals/places and how they can kill/maim/burn/harm you without even trying. Australia shows up a lot on these lists, apparently you need to kill five species of poisonous spider just to get to the bathroom. |
| 409 | ** Also Brockway's book, ''[[http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Going-Kill-Everybody-Terrifyingly/dp/0307464342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1249601995&sr=8-1 Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead]]''. |
| 410 | * EvilHand: Somatoparaphrenia, or the delusion that someone's limb is not his own, is discussed in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19369_the-6-most-mind-blowing-ways-your-brain-can-malfunction.html The 6 Most Mind-Blowing Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction]]. It results from damage to the homunculus, the part of the brain that tracks where each body part is. |
| 411 | * ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: |
| 412 | ** In [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/6-ridiculous-tumblrs-that-yahoo-just-paid-241-billion-for/ 6 Ridiculous Tumblrs That Yahoo Just Paid $1 Billion For]], Alex Hanton claims that [[http://brucespringsteenscrotch.tumblr.com/ Bruce Springsteen's Crotch]] and many other Tumblr blogs "stand up for truth in advertising. You click on this, you know exactly what you're getting." |
| 413 | ** Readers retitle several movies in this manner in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_130_if-movie-titles-were-honest/ If Movie Titles Were Honest]]. |
| 414 | ** [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_791_if-22-famous-video-game-titles-were-taken-literally_p22/ If 22 Famous Video Games Titles Were Taken Literally]], we'd have [[Franchise/StreetFighter Ryu from Street Fighter]] literally punching the highway overpass. |
| 415 | ** Parodied in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21552_5-famous-movies-with-political-agendas-you-didnt-notice.html 5 Famous Movies With Political Agendas You Didn't Notice]]: |
| 416 | --> ''Film/{{The Texas Chainsaw Massacre|1974}}'' is an iconic horror movie about a van full of teenagers breaking down in the middle of backwater ... Idaho, we think. They find themselves the victims of the Sawyer family, an inbred cadre of hillbillies who nourish themselves exclusively on sweet, tender, teenage flesh. They dismember their victims through the alternative use of power tools, although we can't remember precisely what kind (it's been a while since we've seen this). |
| 417 | * ExperimentedInCollege: One of the myths in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19373_5-ridiculous-sex-myths-everyone-believes.html 5 Ridiculous Sex Myths Everyone Believes]]. |
| 418 | [[/folder]] |
| 419 | |
| 420 | [[folder:F]] |
| 421 | * FailedFutureForecast: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19404_6-terrifying-sci-fi-predictions-about-year-1997.html Six terrifying sci-fi predictions (of 1997)]] |
| 422 | * FakeNationality: [[invoked]] Resulting accent dissonance called [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18721_the-5-stupidest-ways-movies-deal-with-foreign-languages_p2.html The Single Stupidest Way Movies Deal with Foreign Languages]]. |
| 423 | * FakePregnancy: One article ([[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-i-learned-from-worst-online-dating-profile-ever/ here]]) consists of an informal social experiment, in which the author set up a fictional dating profile for a thoroughly repellent, morally bankrupt (but very attractive) woman and observes how many men will overlook her numerous very obvious character flaws nevertheless. The fictional woman repeatedly alludes to lying to men about being pregnant, for various reasons. |
| 424 | ** It's also #5 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19209_the-5-strangest-ways-your-mind-can-get-your-body-sick.html Tje 5 Strangest Ways Your Mind Can Get Your Body Sick]]. |
| 425 | * FallingDamage: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_841_29-baffling-rules-life-in-video-game-universes/ 29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes]] shows a player character whose gimmick is LeParkour but for whom a long fall is instant death. |
| 426 | * FamousFamousFictional: This is #5 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17392_6-sci-fi-movie-conventions-that-need-to-die.html 6 Sci-Fi Movie Conventions (That Need to Die)]], the example being "Newton, Einstein, [[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Sulak]]". |
| 427 | * FanonDiscontinuity: [[invoked]]Referenced in "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_23370_6-incredible-spoilers-hidden-in-famous-video-games.html 6 Incredible Spoilers Hidden In Famous Video Games]]", in which ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamCity'' is descibed as "the second game in the ''Arkham'' trilogy (or the stunning conclusion if you're a PC gamer)", invoking the reception of the PortingDisaster of ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight''. |
| 428 | * FanRemake: See freeware games below. |
| 429 | * FantasticRacism: |
| 430 | ** An article [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18475_6-horrifying-implications-awesome-fantasy-movie-universes.html 6 Horrifying Implications of Awesome Fantasy Movie Universes]] mentions how Middle-earth is segregated in the time of ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'': "There are no humans or elves living in the Shire, and if a hobbit is going to live in Rivendell, he'd better be a big goddamned deal." |
| 431 | ** J.F. Sargent calls the very existence of {{Fantasy Counterpart Culture}}s one of the "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_19922_5-prejudices-that-video-games-cant-seem-to-get-over.html 5 Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem to Get Over]]". |
| 432 | * FastballSpecial: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "your unborn children make awesome weapons." The example given is from ''VideoGame/YoshisIsland''. |
| 433 | * FauxtivationalPoster: Photoplasty contest [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_553_28-inspirational-image-memes-revised-honesty/ 28 Inspirational Image Memes (Revised for Honesty)]] parodies Successories and other inspirational glurge posters. |
| 434 | * FelonyMisdemeanor: Tom Reimann's column is called [[AC:Tom Reimann MUST BE STOPPED!]]. The banner for his articles shows him in a Doctor Doom-style getup, holding a can of red spraypaint, standing in front of [[VisualPun a building labeled "Art Museum" that has a big red letter F tagged next to "art"]]. |
| 435 | * FetishRetardant: [[invoked]] [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-most-misguided-attempts-at-sexy-videos-youtube/ The 8 Most Misguided Attempts at 'Sexy' Videos on YouTube]] describes several videos that could be taken as this. |
| 436 | * FifteenMinutesOfFame: #1 of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-emotions-invented-by-internet_p2/ 6 New Kinds of Anxiety the Internet Gave Us]] is "The Shock of Instant, Unintentional Fame". |
| 437 | * {{Filler}}: The major columnists for the site almost never update on Saturday, so the site tends to link to images from older Photoshop contests to pad out the front page. Which some readers ''still'' bitch about like it's a new thing. |
| 438 | * FireIceLightning: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17549_6-badass-tricks-you-can-do-with-fire-that-might-kill-you.html?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Science&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=yesincite 6 Badass Tricks You Can Do With Fire (That Might Kill You)]], [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17276_5-scientific-ways-to-make-water-do-magic_p2.html 5 Scientific Ways To Make Water Do Magic]], and [[http://www.cracked.com/article/183_6-badass-tricks-you-can-but-shouldnt-do-with-electricity/ 6 Badass Tricks You Can (But Shouldn't) Do With Electricity]]. Don't try these at home. |
| 439 | * FirstNameBasis: The Roger Horton character from the Honest Ads sketches always introduces himself as "Roger" in a phony attempt to endear himself to the audience. |
| 440 | * FlameWar: #2 of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-emotions-invented-by-internet_p2/ 6 New Kinds of Anxiety the Internet Gave Us]] is "The Dread of Stumbling into a Hornet's Nest". |
| 441 | * FlashMob: In "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOfOIQ5ayzI College of DuPage Flash Mob Dance and Pep Rally]]", one of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-videos-that-will-brighten-your-day/ 5 Videos That Will Brighten Your Day]], a half dozen people perform rehearsed dance moves, and then someone outside the group spontaneously joins in the dance fever. "Oh, [[MusicalWorldHypotheses life is a musical now]]? OK, I'd better adapt!" |
| 442 | ** Jerusalem Syndrome, #2 of "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_19209_the-5-strangest-ways-your-mind-can-get-your-body-sick.html The 5 Strangest Ways Your Mind Can Get Your Body Sick]]", gets called "the world's slowest flash mob" at one point. |
| 443 | * FlippingTheBird: Some pictures show people doing that a lot in top-number lists. |
| 444 | * FollowTheMoney: [[SelectiveGravity Levitating]] coins are explained as lighter-than-air currency in the #7 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games_p2/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]]. |
| 445 | * ForbiddenFruit: [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/7-hilariously-predictable-porn-trends-from-across-globe 7 Hilariously Predictable Porn Trends from across the Globe]] shows that internet searches for gay porn are highest in countries where homosexuality is ''illegal''. |
| 446 | * ForeignQueasine: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_14979_6-most-terrifying-foods-in-world.html The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World]]. |
| 447 | * ForeheadOfDoom: #12 of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_692_29-insane-pastimes-that-prove-history-was-terrifying_p29/#12 29 Insane pastimes that prove history was terrifying]] details how women in 15th century Europe would pluck their hairlines to create the high-forehead look often seen in paintings. |
| 448 | * {{Foreshadowing}}: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20763_6-mind-blowing-foreshadowing-hidden-in-famous-tv-shows.html 6 Mind-Blowing Foreshadowing Hidden in Famous TV Shows]] explains how the savvy viewer would have picked up on the ending of ''Series/BreakingBad'' by paying close attention to a cassette tape shown at the start of the episode; how TheMole from ''Series/ArrestedDevelopment'' was revealed during a throw-away joke from season 2, and a few other major reveals from well-known shows. |
| 449 | * ForScience: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16301_6-most-badass-stunts-ever-pulled-in-name-science.html 6 Most Badass Stunts Pulled In The Name Of Science]]. |
| 450 | * ForTheEvulz: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-reasons-humans-will-never-understand-each-other_p2/ 4 Reasons Humans Will Never Understand Each Other]] [[{{DiscussedTrope}} discusses]] this trope and how we can dehumanize others by assuming this as a motivation. |
| 451 | * FreakyFridayFlip: When Body Switching Movies Collide is a skit done by the ''Cracked'' staff. It starts off when [[Series/QuantumLeap Sam]] Leaped into [[Film/FreakyFriday1976 Ellen Cunningham]]'s mind after she switched bodies with Anna. [[Film/Ghost1990 Sam Cunningham]], Ellen's dead husband, shows up, explaining how he will possess Sam and have sex with Ellen one last time. Al argues that Ghost Sam possessing Quantum Leap Sam to have sex with Ellen would result in Anna's body having sex with Helen, who has Anna's mind at the moment. The Ghost Sam leaves in disgust, saying he plans to have sex with someone else. Al reveals that Anna is a [[Film/SpyKids secret agent]] hired for the [[Series/StargateSG1 Stargate project]] in the [[{{Series/Torchwood}} Torchwood Institute]] in Roswell. [[Franchise/TheMatrix Trinity]], who works for the [[Series/Millennium1996 Millenium Corporation]], shows up in a [[Series/{{Sliders}} Slider Hole]] and explains that the world is a false reality created by sophiscated computers contained within the mind of [[Film/BeingJohnMalkovich John Horatio Malkovich]]. When Quantum Leap Sam asks Al to Leap him out of this madness, Al can't because he's actually a [[Series/BattlestarGalactica1978 Cylon]]. It turns out it was all Michael Swaim's dream, and the camera zooms out to reveal that sequence was [[Series/StElsewhere imagined by Michael looking at his snowglobe]]. |
| 452 | * FreewareGames: The whole point of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20568_5-improved-versions-classic-games-that-fans-made-free.html 5 Improved Versions of Classic Games That Fans Made For Free.]] |
| 453 | * FreudianSlip: From [[http://www.cracked.com/video_18193_white-people-rapping-about-rape-what-could-go-wrong-5Bdnc5D.html this video]]: "I've been your boobs, Michael Boobs. Allow me to boobs you tits". |
| 454 | * FridgeLogic: Invoked in quite a few articles which consist of thinking about the surprisingly gruesome implications of popular TV shows and movies. %%%Don't move this to the Fridge Namespace, since it's an in-work discussion of the concept. |
| 455 | ** Sometimes they will make an AsideComment about the main point of discussion. |
| 456 | --> ''(talking about the memory of the elephants)'' When the samples were from elephants who were far away, or had not yet passed by the area, the elephants reacted with surprise. We're not sure how the scientists detected "surprise" in elephants, but we trust their judgment. |
| 457 | * FunSize: Calling tiny, [[UsefulNotes/AllHallowsEve trick-or-treat size]] candy bars "fun size", or calling any sort of eating "fun" for that matter, is one of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-stupidest-lies-advertisers-expect-you-to-believe/ The 5 Stupidest Lies Advertisers Expect You to Believe]]. It compares the practice to little people demanding to be called "fun size". |
| 458 | * FunWithAcronyms: Michael Swaim starts off every episode of Cracked TV with '''S'''ome '''W'''eird '''A'''cronym '''I'''nstead of a '''M'''onologue. His official blog on the site is called "'''S'''lander '''W'''ithout '''A'''ny '''I'''nherent '''M'''eaning". |
| 459 | ** Also '''S'''pelling '''W'''uz '''A'''ever a '''I'''uge '''M'''riority. |
| 460 | *** And '''S'''waim (s)'''W'''imulates '''A''' (human) '''IM'''otion. |
| 461 | ** For SesquipedalianLoquaciousness value, he had '''S'''omnambulists '''W'''ainscot '''{{A|ntidisestablishmentarianism}}'''[[{{Antidisestablishmentarianism}} ntidisestablishmentarianistically]] '''I'''rrespective of '''M'''alapropisms. |
| 462 | ** '''S'''tutter. '''W'''ow. '''A'''wkward! '''I''' am so sorry. '''M'''oving on. |
| 463 | ** ''[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/your-3rd-grade-science-textbook-as-written-by-gary-busey/ Gary Busey's Explorations of Science]]'' has a bunch: |
| 464 | *** "[This textbook] might contradict what your eyeballs tell you, but that means it's working. '''EYEBALLS''' stands for '''E'''vents '''Y'''ou '''E'''xperience by '''A'''lien '''L'''aser '''L'''ieRay '''S'''atellites." |
| 465 | *** "If everyone wasn't special, no one would be. Which is why '''SPECIAL''' stands for '''S'''unny '''P'''als '''E'''xtremely '''C'''hromosomed and '''I'''mmune to '''A'''pes and '''L'''ightning." |
| 466 | *** Gary Busey even manages to plan an acronym around his own death: "'''LEARNING''' stands for '''L'''eading '''E'''xcitement! '''A'''rgh! '''R'''eality! '''N'''o! '''I'''-- '''N'''o! '''G'''AAAAHH!!!!" |
| 467 | * FurryConfusion: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20236_6-insane-disney-comics-you-wont-believe-are-real.html 6 Insane Disney Comics You Won't Believe Are Real]] shows panels from an educational comic in an issue of ''Look'' magazine showing Dr. [[ComicBook/MickeyMouseComicUniverse Mickey Mouse]] testing sulfa drugs on common mice. |
| 468 | [[/folder]] |
| 469 | |
| 470 | [[folder:G]] |
| 471 | * GagPenis: |
| 472 | ** ''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_14794_horse-cock-life-in-27-inches.html "Horse Cock: A Life in 27 Inches"]]'' is about a man who tries to convince everyone he has a big penis using BlatantLies. [[TestosteronePoisoning He even says it's strong, flexible, and prehensile enough to use in a fight]]. |
| 473 | ** ''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_21766_the-poop-unicorn-5-other-bizarre-mythical-creatures.html "The Poop Unicorn and 5 Other Bizarre Mythical Creatures"]]'' has the Kurupi, the Paraguayan version of an [[SuccubiAndIncubi incubus]]. The "members" of the Kurupi are so long and prehensile that they don't sneak into your house to sleep with you, their "member" itself does. They even wrap it around themselves, so it won't drag on the floor. |
| 474 | * GameplayAllyImmortality: From [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_841_29-baffling-rules-life-in-video-game-universes/ 29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes]]: "Large boss enemy: dead in 8 hits. Random weak NPC: dead in 38,401,552 hits and counting." |
| 475 | * TheGenericGuy: Bucholz isn't very generic, but compared to all the other columnists, he's notable for being Cracked's foremost "columnist with no outstanding warrants". |
| 476 | ** Bucholz is one of the only columnists who paints himself as someone with at least a little common sense and morals, however the ''subject'' of the articles themselves are some of the craziest of the bunch, including: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-things-you-learn-breaking-into-p.-diddys-house/ things learned breaking into P. Diddy's house]], guides for [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-occupy-wall-street-to-pick-up-chicks/ using occupy wall street to pick up chicks]], [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/so-youre-accidentally-stalking-helen-mirren/ people who are accidentally stalking actress Helen Mirren]], [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-tips-properly-attacking-animals-with-bicycle-chain/ attacking animals with a bicycle chain]], and [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/11-steps-to-crashing-royal-wedding/ crashing a royal wedding]]. |
| 477 | * GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff: In-universe again. [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18895_7-things-from-america-that-are-insanely-popular-overseas.html "7 Things From America That Are Insanely Popular Overseas."]] And yes, the {{Trope Namer|s}} is at the top of the list. |
| 478 | * GetBackHereBoss: Deconstructed in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20043_5-famous-video-game-villains-who-are-actually-victim.html "5 Famous Video Game Villains (Who Are Actually the Victim)"]], when they use the fact that ''VideoGame/KirbysAdventure'' boss Heavy Mole spends the entire battle desperately tunneling away from Kirby (who won't stop chasing him until he's dead) as part of their proof that Kirby is the actual bad guy. |
| 479 | * GiantFlyer: ''Argentavis'' is #5 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18445_7-thankfully-extinct-giant-versions-modern-animals.html 7 (Thankfully) Extinct Giant Versions of Modern Animals]]. |
| 480 | * GiftForAnOutgrownInterest: A [[https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1726-bribing-kids-5-realities-planning-rich-kid-birthdays.html children's party planner recounts]] the time they planned a Western-themed Bar Mitzvah party because the boy's favorite movie at age 8 was ''WesternAnimation/HomeOnTheRange''. His parents never bothered to ask him 5 years later whether he still wanted that theme. Needless to say, the boy became one mortified mensch that day. |
| 481 | * GirlOnGirlIsHot: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-people-who-really-are-making-world-better-place 4 People Who Really Are Making the World a Better Place]] plays with this about Pope Francis, who has pointed out how the church has become too obsessed with gay marriage and abortion, when it should be everyone's job to shut up and support the people who do support those things. |
| 482 | -->God loves lesbians, so stop being a dick and love them, too. |
| 483 | * GoKartingWithBowser: Mario's numerous roles are evidence of a multiverse in the #15 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]]. |
| 484 | * GoMadFromTheRevelation: Poor Michael Swaim suffers this at the end of [[http://www.cracked.com/video_19338_the-7-most-baffling-pieces-art-made-with-genitals.html this]] ''Does Not Compute'' episode when (click here[[note]]he sees a video of a woman who produces knitted works made with wool she first runs through '''her vagina'''[[/note]] to reveal major {{Squick}}). |
| 485 | * GodWinsLawOfFacialHair: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYHlxqQkXFg The Last Guy to Wear a Hitler Mustache in America]]" is about a man in 1940s America who adamantly refuses to shave off his toothbrush mustache. When told by his boss about how much it makes him look like Hitler, he responds in [[IResembleThatRemark increasingly Hitler-esque ways]]. |
| 486 | -->''"I need this job. I've got nine kids at home. Nine! Nine! Nine!"'' |
| 487 | * GoodCopBadCop: Parodied [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/why-crimes-would-never-get-solved-at-a-tv-police-station/ here]] along with RippedFromTheHeadlines and countless other CopShow clichés. |
| 488 | * AGoodNameForARockBand: Pops up on occasion. |
| 489 | ** Joey Clifton calls dibs on "Wanton Chinese Tomb Destruction" in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20715_6-priceless-ancient-artifacts-destroyed-by-idiots_p2.html 6 Priceless Ancient Artifacts Destroyed by Idiots.]] |
| 490 | * GoshdangItToHeck: John Cheese is prone to [[ClusterFBomb cluster F-bombs]], so it [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-politicians-will-never-understand-about-poor-people/ gets pretty funny]] when he makes an effort to avoid them. |
| 491 | * GrailInTheGarbage: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17314_5-pieces-junk-that-turned-out-to-be-invaluable-artifacts.html 5 Pieces of Junk That Turned Out To Be Invaluable Artifacts]] |
| 492 | * GroundhogDayLoop: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-life-lessons-that-tetris-can-teach-you/?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Video+Games&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module 10 Life Lessons That 'Tetris' Can Teach You]] |
| 493 | * GroundPound: Mid-air direction changes and surviving falls are the #9 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games_p2/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]]. |
| 494 | * GrowingUpSucks: Daniel O'Brien has written two articles about why growing up sucks; however, both Gladstone and Brockway have written articles explaining why it ''doesn't'' suck. John Cheese, meanwhile, has written at least one from each perspective. |
| 495 | ** This is increasingly a focus of the articles; possibly because at least two of the columnists are now parents. There have been at least two articles on the subject of the economy and how tough it is to be not poor anymore. |
| 496 | ** Though Dan O'Brien did write a terrific article in which he explained positive sides such as complete freedom at home, the ability and means to do fun things on impulse, being able to say no to things and not having to justify decisions to people. Cheese also included a great rebuttal in ''5 Reasons Life Really Does Get Better'' in which he explained the freedom that living on Your own will bring and how the world isn't as bad as young people sometimes believe. |
| 497 | [[/folder]] |
| 498 | |
| 499 | [[folder:H]] |
| 500 | * HackingMinigame: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_841_29-baffling-rules-life-in-video-game-universes/ 29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes]] shows games that depict hacking as a maze, a ''VideoGame/{{Frogger}}'' clone, a memory game, or a word search. |
| 501 | * HandicappedBadass: Among Jorden Weir's [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20653_5-people-whose-major-disabilities-only-made-them-stronger.html 5 People Whose Major Disabilities Only Made Them Stronger]] are a legless mountain climber and a blind pilot. |
| 502 | * HardTruthAesop: [[https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/ 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person]] stresses that the world only cares about what you can do for it, and says, almost verbatim, that you are your job. |
| 503 | * HardWorkFallacy: Strangely, David Wong alternatively plays it straight or deconstructs it, depending on the essay. It's deconstructed in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-things-rich-people-need-to-stop-saying/ "6 Things Rich People Need To Stop Saying"]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-most-useless-pieces-advice-everyone-gives/ "The 5 Most Useless Pieces of Advice Everyone Gives"]], yet falls completely for it in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-sabotaging-your-own-life-without-knowing-it/ "5 Ways You're Sabotaging Your Own Life"]]. It's particularly strange in the latter case because one of the given examples (obese people being unable to lose weight because they lack the motivation to do so) also appears in the second essay, but there Wong makes exactly the opposite point. |
| 504 | * HasTwoThumbsAnd: In [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-weirdest-drug-experiments-performed-animals/ this]] article about bizarre animal drug testing describes a hypothetical human volunteer for an experiment involving methamphetamines and electricity as having two thumbs, not minding tasers and loving meth. The article then describes another hypothetical volunteer, Jimmy Handclaws, as '''not''' having two thumbs but still loving meth. |
| 505 | * HaveAGayOldTime: In [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-most-absurd-superhero-names-all-time/ The 5 Most Absurd Superhero Names of All-Time]], Maxwell Yezpitelok mentions the World War II-era comic book examples of ''The Gay Ghost'' as well as "hav[ing] never felt so queer" in ''Flick Falcon''. |
| 506 | * HealThyself: |
| 507 | ** Among the [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-bullshit-video-game-healing-methods/ 7 Video Game Healing Methods Least Likely to Actually Work]] |
| 508 | ** The #22 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]] is a medkit, and #9 is "Green Heart + Red Heart = Full Health". |
| 509 | ** A healing factor is portrayed as [[BlessedWithSuck undesirable]] in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20241_6-awesome-superpowers-that-would-suck-in-real-life_p2.html 6 Awesome Superpowers (That Would Suck in Real Life)]] because the intense pain would lead to post-traumatic stress disorder. |
| 510 | ** One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "first aid kits are absorbed through osmosis". |
| 511 | * HeavySleeper: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20112_5-amazing-things-that-people-managed-to-sleep-through.html "5 Amazing Things That People Managed to Sleep Through"]]. |
| 512 | * HellIsThatNoise: [[invoked]][[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-bizarre-sounds-from-outer-space/ 7 Bizarre Sounds From Outer Space]] featured Saturn, or as it was called, the screeching space phantom. |
| 513 | * HeroesGoneFishing: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "[[DamselInDistress your princess]] can always wait a little longer" to complete a FishingMinigame. |
| 514 | * HeroicBystander: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18509_5-unknown-schmucks-who-turned-into-superheroes-in-clutch.html 5 Unknown Schmucks Who Turned Into Superheroes in the Clutch]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19766_6-nobodies-who-turned-into-superheroes-without-warning.html 6 Nobodies Who Turned Into Superheroes Without Warning.]] |
| 515 | * HeroicDolphin: ''Cracked'' deconstructs this by listing dolphins in both [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_the-6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom_p2.html The 6 Biggest Assholes In The Animal Kingdom]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15853_the-6-cutest-animals-that-can-still-destroy-you.html The 6 Cutest Animals That Can Still Destroy You.]] |
| 516 | * HideYourChildren: From [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_841_29-baffling-rules-life-in-video-game-universes/ 29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes]]: "Around 8 million people in the city, and nobody bothers to have kids anymore." |
| 517 | * HighPressureBlood: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "a person's volume of blood often exceeds 78 liters." |
| 518 | * {{Hipster}}: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-awful-things-were-now-considering-nerd-behavior/ 4 Awful Things We're Now Considering Nerd Behavior]] not only pokes fun at them, but points out how easy it is to be one. Many nerds and geeks are secretly hipsters themselves because of the four listed reasons. #3: Hipsters don't like the idea of their favorite media making money and becoming "popular". #2: It sickens hipsters to see "normal" people showing off their interests in the same things. Especially if that person doesn't ''look'' like they should have anything to do with it. #1 really drives the point home. |
| 519 | -->You know your friend who's read the books Creator/GeorgeRRMartin wrote before he started [[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire Game of Thrones]], or the one who watches nothing but authentic, [[SubbingVersusDubbing untranslated Japanese anime]], or the guy who has at some point in his life been a member of [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Sonic Youth]]? They're the ubernerds. They're super-pretentious, and they (fine -- we) are insufferable. Not because of our taste for obscurity, but because of our ''arrogance''. We act like knowing more about the artist makes us better, even though all it really means is that we spend our free time differently from "normal" people. |
| 520 | * HiroshimaAsAUnitOfMeasure: Someone who is especially out of their mind is often described as "Creator/GaryBusey crazy." |
| 521 | * HistoricalBadassUpgrade: They like to do this to Theodore Roosevelt. |
| 522 | * HistoricalVillainUpgrade: Mentioned in “6 Books Everyone Got Wrong”; specifically that giving him a Historical Villain Upgrade was how people got Machiavelli wrong. [[HypocriticalHumor Hilariously]] they themselves call him [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Grima Wormtongue]] in the article. |
| 523 | * HollywoodHacking: Completely {{Deconstructed|Trope}} in [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20797_5-hacking-myths-you-probably-believe-thanks-to-movies.html/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=new+article&wa_ibsrc=fanpage 5 hacking Myths You Probably Believe Thanks To Movies.]] |
| 524 | * HomePornMovie: It's a [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18392_6-reasons-homemade-porn-worse-idea-than-you-think.html worse idea than you think]], according to Ian Fortey. |
| 525 | * HopeSpot: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-true-stories-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity/ This]] article. Then, the next day, [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-celebrity-animals-where-are-they-now-a-drunk-column/ this]] article happened. |
| 526 | * HorseOfADifferentColor: One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "if you have the right saddle, you can ride on freaking anything." |
| 527 | * HotSkittyOnWailordAction: [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_841_29-baffling-rules-life-in-video-game-universes/ 29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes]] shows two pairs of visually similar creatures from ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'', captioned "Can't make baby." Then it shows the [[TropeNamers trope-naming]] cat and whale: "Can make baby." |
| 528 | * HumanMail: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20504_the-5-most-badass-ways-people-escaped-from-slavery.html The 5 Most Badass Ways People Escaped from Slavery]] relates the story of Henry "Box" Brown, an African-American slave in Virginia successfully escaped to Philadelphia inside a crate and later bragged about how he did it. Slavery opponent Frederick Douglass was infuriated because he wanted this escape method to be kept secret so that other slaves could use it. |
| 529 | * HumanoidAbomination: Brockway, over the course of a drug-addled gossip-magazine-sponsored day-long interview, slowly comes to learn that this applies to [[spoiler:[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/extra-mario-lopez-has-no-soul/ Mario Lopez.]]]] |
| 530 | ** See Popsicle Pete? That is ''not'' the voice of a Down's Syndrome-looking ginger in a marching band outfit. |
| 531 | ** [[spoiler:Mario Lopez]]'s nature as a creature not meant to walk this Earth [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-monster-inside-mario-lopez-warning/ has been further documented]]. |
| 532 | * HumanoidAliens: Some xenobiologists argue that convergent evolution to a humanoid form is more likely than StarfishAliens, according to #1 of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20332_5-unrealistic-movie-cliches-that-are-scientifically-accurate.html 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate]]. |
| 533 | * HumiliationConga: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-badass-old-timey-christmas-mascots-we-need-to-bring-back/ 6 Badass Old-Yimey Christmas Mascots We Need To Bring Back]] gives us the ''Nuuttipukki'', a Finnish monster straight from your nightmares who shows up a few weeks after Christmas, intent on drinking all your beer. If you don't get him drunk enough before he heads to the next house, he'll curse your family to experience a veritable conga line of ridiculously bad luck for the entire year. |
| 534 | * HuntingTheMostDangerousGame: [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-best-movies-where-people-are-hunted-for-sport/?wa_user1=5&wa_user2=blog&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=flashback 6 Great Movies Where People Are Hunted for Sport]]. |
| 535 | * HurricaneOfPuns: The Cracked commentators would form one of these if the situation presents itself. |
| 536 | ** For [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15785_the-15-most-cringe-worthy-james-bond-puns.html The 15 Most Cringe-Worthy James Bond Puns]], they couldn't decide which pun from ''Film/TheSpyWhoLovedMe'' to single out as #2, so they instead present "The Horrible Pun Marathon". |
| 537 | --->'''Christian Ames:''' Maybe, we should call this one ''The Spy Who Made Constant Double Entendres For the Entire Movie, So Much So That No One Can Remember The Plot and Just Thinks It Was a Movie About Double Entendres''. |
| 538 | * HyperactiveMetabolism: |
| 539 | ** One of the [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-bullshit-video-game-healing-methods/ 7 Video Game Healing Methods Least Likely to Actually Work]] |
| 540 | ** One of [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_586_31-life-lessons-you-can-only-learn-from-video-games/ 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games]] is that "eating food you find in the trash is good for you." |
| 541 | * HypocriticalHumor: A subtle and recurring theme of "Cracked TV" is that the RealLife Michael Swaim is just as guilty of all the things that [[AlterEgoActing his character]] criticizes about everyone else. This was dropped in "Does Not Compute", where the focus is on more "out there" topics. |
| 542 | [[/folder]] |
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