I realize that this fanfic has long since been deleted, but I decided to write down my thoughts on why the people who never saw it aren't missing much.
The basic plot involves Saki defeating Teru in a mahjong game, resulting in Teru beating her up and Nodoka trying to save her, with them falling in love in the hospital.
Does this sound familiar? It should if you've read The Day Everything Changed, because it's the exact same story. Replace Saki with Kagami, Teru with Sakura, mahjong with "tests" and Nodoka with Konata. It's already a bad sign when the fic is not very original, and it gets worse when the events come off as rather contrived.
The main problem with the fic is characterization. Most of the characters barely show any personality, save for a few that have their signature quirks intact (Yuuki's love of tacos, Yuu's sensitivity to the cold). For example, Teru and Sumire's three teammates have almost identical reactions to the same events. Oddly enough, Saki and Nodoka start off the fic calling each other by their surnames, ignoring their switch to First-Name Basis before the Nationals. This might seem like a minor complaint, but switching to first names is a rather significant step for friendships or romance in Japan, so the way characters address each other says a lot about their personalities and relationships.
Teru, however, gets this the worst. In all fairness, she's a more complex character than people originally thought, and doesn't hate Saki nearly as much as the fanbase assumed, so hardly anyone got her character right. That said, she never showed any indication of being willing to fly into a rage and beat up Saki, a development that mainly happened to enable Saki and Nodoka's relationship to take root. Apparently, the author planned a redemption arc for her, but her behavior in the first chapter screams Ron the Death Eater.
The rest of the plot is rather poorly done, and seems to be written to skip right into the romance. For example, the Inter-High mahjong tournament, which takes place over nine days in canon, happens in a single day in this fic, and the mahjong matches are covered in a paragraph or two, with barely any information on what happened. It's an improvement on the manga's rather abysmal pacing, and it's understandable that the Saki fanbase(the majority of which is there for the yuri) finds writing mahjong difficult, but this comes off as rather lazy.
The fic is cut short after two chapters, just after Nodoka makes a Love Confession to Saki and the latter accepts. Not only was the creator dissatisfied with the work, it's almost certain that he didn't know what to do next, something that likely explains why many fanfics end up being abandoned after a chapter or two.
In short, I personally hope Mr. Fanfic Guy learns from his mistakes with this one when and if he decides to give this another shot.
Fanfic Beating a dead horse with a pipe and a boxcutter
I realize that this fanfic has long since been deleted, but I decided to write down my thoughts on why the people who never saw it aren't missing much.
The basic plot involves Saki defeating Teru in a mahjong game, resulting in Teru beating her up and Nodoka trying to save her, with them falling in love in the hospital.
Does this sound familiar? It should if you've read The Day Everything Changed, because it's the exact same story. Replace Saki with Kagami, Teru with Sakura, mahjong with "tests" and Nodoka with Konata. It's already a bad sign when the fic is not very original, and it gets worse when the events come off as rather contrived.
The main problem with the fic is characterization. Most of the characters barely show any personality, save for a few that have their signature quirks intact (Yuuki's love of tacos, Yuu's sensitivity to the cold). For example, Teru and Sumire's three teammates have almost identical reactions to the same events. Oddly enough, Saki and Nodoka start off the fic calling each other by their surnames, ignoring their switch to First-Name Basis before the Nationals. This might seem like a minor complaint, but switching to first names is a rather significant step for friendships or romance in Japan, so the way characters address each other says a lot about their personalities and relationships.
Teru, however, gets this the worst. In all fairness, she's a more complex character than people originally thought, and doesn't hate Saki nearly as much as the fanbase assumed, so hardly anyone got her character right. That said, she never showed any indication of being willing to fly into a rage and beat up Saki, a development that mainly happened to enable Saki and Nodoka's relationship to take root. Apparently, the author planned a redemption arc for her, but her behavior in the first chapter screams Ron the Death Eater.
The rest of the plot is rather poorly done, and seems to be written to skip right into the romance. For example, the Inter-High mahjong tournament, which takes place over nine days in canon, happens in a single day in this fic, and the mahjong matches are covered in a paragraph or two, with barely any information on what happened. It's an improvement on the manga's rather abysmal pacing, and it's understandable that the Saki fanbase(the majority of which is there for the yuri) finds writing mahjong difficult, but this comes off as rather lazy.
The fic is cut short after two chapters, just after Nodoka makes a Love Confession to Saki and the latter accepts. Not only was the creator dissatisfied with the work, it's almost certain that he didn't know what to do next, something that likely explains why many fanfics end up being abandoned after a chapter or two.
In short, I personally hope Mr. Fanfic Guy learns from his mistakes with this one when and if he decides to give this another shot.