Chick Tracts

Uninvited is probably one of the most insane chick tracts.

Seeing all these piss ant tropers trying to talk tough makes me laugh. If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

What's that one about?

You're an ad hominem attack!

Here it is.

Seeing all these piss ant tropers trying to talk tough makes me laugh. If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

Ye gods, the old "gay people were molested" myth.

His most hilarious trope is First Bite. It's about a vampire named Igor.

EDIT: Friggin 2AM posts.

edited 17th Sep '11 2:44:01 PM by jewelleddragon

Trope? Don't you mean tract?

I'd like to think Li'l Susy was designed to be as annoying as possible and what makes Jack think "HAW HAW HAW" works as an evil laugh?

Seeing all these piss ant tropers trying to talk tough makes me laugh. If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

It baffles me that people want to embrace such a scary view of theology.

You're an ad hominem attack!

I like that one about that kid murdering another classmate and getting on the FBI's wanted list because he found out Santa, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy were made up.

Seeing all these piss ant tropers trying to talk tough makes me laugh. If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

Not only that, but the kid ended up on the list with Osama Bin Laden! He ended up going to hell, not because of his crimes, but because he refused to believe in Jesus Christ at the end of his life. Um....

To expand on what I said regarding Lisa, what I meant was what if Lisa's father was a priest? Now wouldn't that be ironic? A doctor giving an incestuous pedophile porn-watching priest a come-to-Jesus talk? All the priest would have to do is pray a little and he would be cleansed! It makes me sit there and think to myself "I don't think it would work out like that in Real Life."

I noticed how in a number of his tracts, Jack Chick's Author Avatar has been rejected, beaten up, or treated like he/she is insane. I wonder if Jack Chick struggles with paranoia, and has been treated like his Author Avatar(s).

Oh, Equestria, we stand on guard for thee!

The other really meta thing is how often people in Chick tracts are given Chick tracts. I keep hoping someone will give someone the very tract they're in and there will be this fractal-like reduplication situation.

It's funny, all the famous religious tracts are decades old now. The newest Jack Chick piece was, what, three, four years ago? I guess the world moved on.

They assed first. I am only retaliating in an ass way. -The Dead Man's Life

Hmmm, but Uninvited said it was made around 2011.

edited 17th Sep '11 6:43:20 PM by lolacat

Seeing all these piss ant tropers trying to talk tough makes me laugh. If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

Woah, I didn't know the notable ones go back decades ago! Does that mean that Values Dissonance and Moral Dissonance can be applied to a number of the tracts?

Oh, Equestria, we stand on guard for thee!

Speaking as a Christian, my response to these tracks is usually "laugh xor retch". Except for the really bad ones; then it's "attempt both at the same time and wind up vomiting out my nose".

Smile for me!

I'm not sure their values were relevant even then. I may be biased though, hindsight and all.

They assed first. I am only retaliating in an ass way. -The Dead Man's Life

One day I want to make a 17th Century Chick Tract parody that exposes the blasphemous Heliocentric model, or rails against the evils of music.

I am still in love with the Cthulhu Tract. If only there were more...

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

Here you go.

You know what would make a great Chick Tracts parody? One that reveals to us all the blasphemous evil that is The Fundamentalist!

Oh, Equestria, we stand on guard for thee!

It was kind of convenient that he left out the part where the Protestants were an English invasion force planted there to outbreed the native population. Also, the part about the gift giving isn't true at all. An English Planter wouldn't have talked to an Irish person, let alone received a gift from them. What's more, even if they wanted to talk, they couldn't, because they spoke entirely different languages, and there was a real animosity towards English in Ireland at the time. Also, he stuck an extra zero on there for apparently no reason. And what's this rubbish about "Jesuit Priests"? It was just your bog standard ethno-political uprising.

I feel kind of offended.

edited 24th Sep '11 5:29:21 PM by SoberIrishman

It's surprising how old Chick Tracts is. I thought it was more...recent.

I just had someone try to pass one off to me. I declined but got a good look of the track's cover. It showed a confused/worried man and I think it was called "The Choice."

Don't make me fire Pinky's party cannon.

Jesuits are often thought of as if they were some sort of ruthless secret agents of the Vatican, for some reason. Which is kind of funny, because on average they tend to be rather on the liberal side of things...

edited 25th Sep '11 3:59:23 AM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

I didn't even know what a "Jess-you-it" was until Chick made me look it up out of curiosity. I was all like, "What's a Jess-Suit"?

They assed first. I am only retaliating in an ass way. -The Dead Man's Life

I just read one of the tracts called Gun Slinger. Basically a hired assassin is ordered to kill a preacher and finds that God can love even an evil man like him and he can go to heaven... but only if he accepts Jesus Christ into his "heart". An honest law-abiding Marshall captures said assassin and has him hanged. After showing that the Marshall didn't "trust the Lord Jesus as his saviour" (he never explicitly says that he doesn't believe in God or Jesus), he is killed three hours later by... snakes (even though he was riding a horse) and sent to hell.

Message of the story (and they literally say this) is that it's whether you accept Jesus or not as your saviour that determines whether you go to heaven or hell, not your actions. So the killer goes to heaven and the Marshall to hell.

Great moral lesson. It's A-Okay to murder people if you accept Jesus as your Lord Saviour, but good people are damned for eternity for not believing in Jesus.

Serious case of Strawman Has a Point.

edited 27th Sep '11 2:29:58 AM by germi91

"It is true that we are called a democracy, for the administration is in the hands of the many and not of the few."

At a Christian Camp I went to, I was all prepared to make fun of the Chick Tracts there. Unfortunatly, they actually had a wide variety of tracts, and the only Chick Tract was one of the less insulting, demeaning, and just downright stupid one; it actually made sense.

So instead, I argued about whether or not handing out tracts works, in general.

Go play Kentucky Route Zero. Now.