A number
Wow. Very mind screwy. I can't even begin to tell where you're going with this. If you're trying to make it difficult so that I can't tell when Shinji's awake or dreaming, then you're definitely succeeding.
But what kind of feedback are you looking for exactly? I mean, it's coherent enough that I'm following and I'm certainly interested. It's unique enough from both the movie and the series that I'm having a hard time predicting anything, so as far as mystery plots go this is a good one. Characterization seems good so far, Shinji the most of all. The Inception team doesn't seem that detailed, but I think that's because most of this has been seen from Shinji, and they're not revealing much to him. Ditto for Gendo. Otherwise the only other thing I can think of is all the theories that're starting to take root in my mind regarding what's going on and all. Makes me wonder if you're studying psychology at all.
I'm working on it.
>_> <_<
I guess what I was looking for is "Is this written so that you can follow it?" "Is it a stupid idea?" "Does my grammar/diction flow or does it seem awkward?" "How are my characterizations?"
But I guess you answered them all.
That first part was indeed supposed to be hard to follow.
The Inception team (The Team) are the stars of the next two chapters so, I guess there's that.
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This is a Neon Genesis Evangelion/Inception crossover fanfiction I've started. Unfortunately, Fan Fiction.net is not a great place to get constructive criticism. So I turn to you guys, can you give me any advice on this?
Neon Psychosis Evangelion
edited 4th Nov '10 5:20:16 PM by Mizagium
My RP site