Up, Up, and Away

Ballister, Moxxxie's (Interior)

Ballister blocked the headbutt by raising his mechanical arm in defense, the advanced metal almost surely durable enough to take the hit. If Newtwon's third law wasn't enough to shatter the coral creature's head, he would take the opportunity to draw a laser pistol from his belt and blast it straight in the cranium with a bolt of energy.

"Ha! Take that, you fiend!"

It sounded more like something a knight would say than a supervillain, but as much as he might dislike it, Ballister was a creature of habit.

Moxxxi's, Interior

"Hoshinoko, you must do something!" came a hushed whisper from the cracked ladies' room door, where two individuals, one much smaller than the other, were watching through the gap and quietly debating their course of action.

"Ooooohhhhh, but I still don't know who I'm supposed to be siding with, here! What if they're all bad guys?! I can't help a bad guy!"

"At least transform and throw yourself into the fray! Whoever is an evildoer should become apparent after that, no?"

"...You know what, you're right! Meteor Tail!"

With a brief flash of illumination visible through the slightly ajar door, the New York Witch did a very compressed henshin sequence and then threw the door open, charging out into the part of the bar where the confrontation was... over?

"Halt, in the name of — Uhhhhh..." she trailed off, scratching a cheek sheepishly with a gloved finger. "Am I too late? ...Ei!" Apparently deciding she might as well contribute somehow, she waved her scepter-wand, out of which flowed a multitude of flat diamond shapes every color of the rainbow. They wrapped around both of the coral creatures and the pieces of them that had been broken off and transformed them into...

Life-size, marketable coral monstrosity plushies! Granted, they were in various states of destruction, but at least the one that had been facing the turret had its coral viscera transformed into stuffing, which would be much easier to clean up later! Meanwhile, the one facing Ballister slammed its soft head into his metal arm with a squeak, only for him to blow a smoking hole right through its plush skull with his laser. It fell to the ground, smoldering lightly, its only regret that it hadn't been hugged and treasured by a child or cute girl before its demise.

"Sorry I missed the entire battle, and everything! I wasn't sure whose side I was supposed to be on, so it took me a while to work up the nerve, eheheh..." the Magical Girl apologized, mostly to the establishment's proprietress, since she seemed the most put-out by the entire conflict. That said, with a couple more waves of her wand and exclamations, she started to repair the damage that had been done to the bar by the brawl, including such things as the vent Ballister had broken.

Edited by darksidevoid on Apr 23rd 2024 at 11:37:12 AM

Rolling to a New Venue (Optimus Prime)

Optimus at Fowler's "inquiry" about seating. "Our vehicular forms are based very much on your own planet's vehicles, Agent Fowler. Seating will not be a problem."

Once the group starts filing out, Optimus would transform back into his truck form, opening his door to allow one or more of the drones to enter his cab. "Please, fasten your seatbelts," he says to his occupants through his radio, before joining the convoy down to the warehouse the local government agents have chosen. On the way, he sends an encrypted message to Bumblebee.

<Bumblebee, I'm sending you this message because Arcee and I have made contact with local government agents. For the moment, they seem to want to communicate, but for now, remain covert. I do not want to give our new allies the impression that we are invading their world.>

Once at the warehouse, Optimus would pull in, opening the doors to let the occupants out, before splitting open his truck form to reconfigure into his robot form, flexing his hands as he does so. With gracious care, he would stand to the side of the rest of the entourage, eyeing Arcee as he does so.

Judging from her demeanor, she was apparently still acting like a lone wolf. He thinks that he would have to talk to her about it soon, but for the moment, it is best to see Fowler's lecture to the end.

N and Co., Brooklyn -> 2nd Avenue Warehouse: Movie Night!

The two fliers stuck close with the Autobots and the government agents while Uzi rides inside Optimus. The drive was uneventful as Uzi tapped on the door, bored out of her processor. She thought about playing something from her (totally bought and not stolen) music player to help pass the time, maybe plug it into the radio, but the stop came into view before she could do so, sparing Optimus the sound of Nightcore (the horror).

The drones enter the warehouse, taking in all the sights of... boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. One of the boxes they swore read "Undisclosed Government Stuff", but maybe it's just them. Uzi sat on the chair and leaned back, V took her seat and put a hand to her metal cheek, and N sits crisscross applesauce and looks at Fowler attentively.

In Which Belial Educates A Savage About Pop Culture, West Village

   "Well, last I've heard Noah drowned in a whole other way..."    Belial grunted, eyeing his decidedly-not-human opponent close the distance. The Ectoplasmer had its flamethrower mode, but it would not stop the momentum of his opponent. He was still going to use it, because covering this pissant in liquid radioactive napalm was going to be hilarious.

   "You really hate the 90's, huh? You know how much fun stuff we've got from those?!"    He growled, spraying the green mist that clung to furnishings (and unfortunate organic matter) and tore into it like water tears into toilet paper.    "Disney Renaissance! The Tamagotchi! The Monika Levinsky Scandal!"    With his free demon hand, he reached into the hellish ether and produced a broken blade; a dark purple thing broken just above the guard that thrummed with ancient powers of evil.

Managing to deflect the angelic axe with this broken thing (although for a moment it looked like it formed into a full-on blade made out of the ephemeral energy), Belial swerved back and behind another table, sending it flying at Adam with a kick as he repositioned.    "Space Jam. Ever heard of that, you Amorite Philistine?"   

Edited by FergardStratoavis on Apr 25th 2024 at 10:25:29 AM

"The fuck you trying to replicate? Some budget edgy version of Vietnam?!" The angel managed to dash away from being hit by the naplam, as angelic axe clashed with a unholy blade. Sparks came from his axe as it made contact with Belial's sword, before the Naphil swerved away from Adam's melee range. "Meh. The Bearded boat guy is a Winner over at Heaven! He fucking won either way, bitch-"

Too distracted with shit talking, the Angel got hit with a faceful of table to the face, knocked back slightly. Though considering he didn't seem hurt, this was clearly more of emotional damage, and something more severe than murderous furniture was needed to actually damage him. As Belial was done speaking and Adam had enough of giving an annoyed look due to the table surprise, the Angel just laughed out loud and pointed a finger at Belial "Space Jam?! That's just an fucking hour and a half basketball ad with some furry bait bunny girl! Now the 70's? That's fucking great, if only because it spawned the glory that is motherfucking FREE BIRD! That solo is the greatest achievement of humanity other than me!"

...He did paused, putting a finger on his helmet's chin as if thinking of something. "...I do give you one good thing of the 90s, though! The Extermination of 1994 was the coolest one of the 90s! Killing that Nixon guy who became a Overlord in sinnerland was a fun time for me and my girls, lemme tell ya- ...wait where were we? Oh, right!" He would quickly flip the bird to Belial...and out of the rude gesture came a bright blast of holy light aimed right at the Naphil, leaving a huge hole in the wall if he dodged it.

Moxxxi's (Exterior)

As Arachnos's men retreat, the Bloodshot bandits advance, doing so slowly to avoid the spray of acid from the exploding mech. As they do so, Captain Flynt hurls himself shoulder-first at the front door of the bar, visibly denting it.

Moxxxi's (Interior)

Roland stows his shotgun, collapsing onto a barstool to get off his feet.

"Good riddance. Now who the hell-"

The sudden appearance of the New York Witch takes him by surprise, at least.

"...That's new. Didn't know Moxxi called for backup."

"I didn't...though I do appreciate the free repairs."

Moxxi pours a drink, sliding it down the bar to Roland.

"It's not exactly one of Zed's Insta-Healths, but it's something."

Roland...completely misses catching the glass, his hands shaky as blood has started visibly soaking into his uniform from his claw wounds.

"...Shit...guess he got me...worse than I thought..."

The impact of Flynt slamming the front door booms through the bar as Roland clutches his chest. Roland looks up at Ballister, smirking despite the obvious pain.

"Appreciate the save, soldier."

Ballister, Moxxxi's (Interior)

Ballister stared in amazement at the work of the New York Witch for a few seconds.

"Great Glor-" he started to say under his breath, before stopping himself, and clearing his throat. He turned to face the Magical Girl, still looking a bit amazed, though he hadn't holstered his laser gun or sheathed his sword yet. "Er, thanks. Glad I got some help there, those coral creatures looked rough." He frowned and scratched his chin. "What kind of species were they, I wonder? I've never seen any that could walk and talk like that...I might need to do some research when I got back to my lab."

Then, Rolland thanked Ballister for his help, and the villain replied grimly.

"You're welcome, but don't take this as a partnership. I'm not on your side. I just want to make sure they" he gestured towards the front door of the bar "aren't the ones to do you in. And we're not done yet."

He aimed his laser gun towards the door, finger on the trigger, waiting in anticipation for whoever was on the other side to break through.

Belial's Excellent No-Good Adventure In West Village

   "It ain't me. It ain't me."    Belial drawled flatly, not even bothering to put on a singing voice.    "I won't have some Mötley Crüe reject criticize the best showing of Michael Jordan in history!"   

Of course, that's when the alternate history divergence hit, and Belial stopped despite himself. Adam being... this was implausible, but not impossible. Stranger things have happened. That Elias guy got kidnapped to Heaven by a flaming chariot, for one.    "...what? There was one in Rwanda in 1994, but Nixon wasn't a President by then."    He did die in '94, but-

Adam's distraction proved successful; the holy blast launched Belial into a wall, leaving behind a distinctly Belial-shaped hole.    "...ow. Hurts like my mom's kiss."    He grunted, and that didn't sound dismissive in the slightest. The eldritch edgy shape emerged from the hole half-way, weapons hidden and one hand, the armored angel hand, raised.    "Alright. You've got me, big guy. I surrender."    He didn't look that worse for wear despite being blasted; there was some swelling next to the swirly amulet he wore, but he might as well have just been punched there. Still, the Naphil seemed resigned to his newfound predicament. Surely there was no trickery involved here.

Edited by FergardStratoavis on Apr 30th 2024 at 12:16:54 PM

Bunnie, Sanctuary

"What in Sam's Hill?!"

Bunnie stared up, fists clenched, witnessing the orbital bombardment firsthand. She knew Jack was a snake, but now he'd shown his true colors. She was halfway in the air when she saw the shields do their work, but it didn't make her less pissed. Least there were pretty colors.

She flew back down, hovering into town square, landing on her feet. She wasn't impressed.

"Mah stars! Talk about a fixer-upper! Ain't sayin it's got no charm, reminds me o' home... but even the folks back home had more class."

Edited by kkhohoho on May 3rd 2024 at 8:39:00 AM

Sanctuary

“Yeah, she’s a bit more function over form, but she keeps everyone outta the ocean and outta federal custody so…s’all good. Mapped it out mahself, we’re juuuust far out enough to be international waters, law can’t touch us out here.”

“Problem is, that means Jack can shoot blanks at our shield all day and it ain’t technically a crime. Not like the government would give the big blowhard more’n a slap on the wrist an’ a warnin’ if it were.”

There’s a garage literally bearing Scooter’s name on the door, and a walkway leading to the center of town.

“Was plannin’ on introducin’ ya to mah pal Roland, maybe gettin’ you inducted as a Raider proper, but it don’t look like he’s-“

A loud, repeated beeping blares from inside Scooter’s garage, the mechanic practically sprinting away from the conversation to check it. Despite now being inside a building, his voice is still loud enough to hear clear as day.

“Ah sweet Jesus titty-cinnamon, speak a’ the devil! Roland threw out a distress call!”

“Distress call? Ain’t he visitin’ mom’s bar right now?”

The two siblings pause for a moment.

“…Shit.”

"You can call us Scream, little guy." Scream answered to Mikey, a big toothy smile on her face. Boy those are some sharp nommers. "If you say so. Do make sure these dumbasses don't do anything stupid. Keep up the good work, little guy."

Her glance turned to Rivet. "Let's leave here before this furniture store turns into even more of a war zone. It's like a magnet of trouble!"

As Belial came up with his hands up, Adam couldn't help but laugh and grin menacingly. "Did you forget the part where I told Dangertits 'Exterminate with extreme prejudice'?! Sorry bitch ass, but turns out the Exorcists don't give wholesome hugs and kisses to everyone they fucking meet."

Adam would then quickly fly towards Belial, gripping his guitar-axe and intending to swing it with a might strike right at the Naphil, completely unaware of whatever tricks the Naphil had up his sleeve.

Kurikara Food-O Uchi

A stone wall, that's what this had turned into. Emet-Selch was not used to playing meek so clearly he had set off some kind of instinct in this woman's head and now there was simply no path forward. He'd just need to get in contact another way...

"I... Think I will. Thank you for your time."

A deep sigh, a slight bow of the head to mildy suggest a hat-tip before he stepped back inside.

"Bowl of the house special, please. Could use a hot meal on a day like this..."

He hummed a little, one hand going to his pocket to work on something.

"Yaknow, Durga out there said you and big hero man go way back. He come here often?"

Kurikara Food-O Uchi

A very large man in an apron stands behind the counter, filling a bowl for Emet.

"Asura? Why, of course! We work together! As part of the Eight Guardian Generals, I'm certain you've heard of them! In fact, I was his ally in ancient times! I was there when he struck a decisive blow against Vlitra!"

Wyzen slides the bowl across the counter to Emet.

"You could say he's a regular. Let me guess - Durga barely gave you the time of day? She can be like that - I would not take it personally. But if it's conversation about great heroes of old you want, then allow The Great Wyzen to regale you, Mr..."

Wyzen pauses, thinking.

"...Name?"

Moxxxi's, Interior

"Um, Mr. Knight?" the New York Witch interrupted, tapping him on the shoulder (could he even feel it, under all that armor?). "I think they're done fighting out there. We can check remotely, if you want?" She gestured with her scepter and murmured something, and a picturesque white-framed window suddenly appeared on the nearby wall, through which the scene outside was visible - from a bird's eye vantage point, oddly enough.

"Yep, the bad guys seem to be retreating, alright! Anyway, this is my first time meeting any of you, I think! What are your names? I'm— Uh, I'm the New York Witch, of course! Hee-hee..." The disguised Kikko introduced herself, sweating slightly. "Oh, and I recognized the shark guy from the news the other day, so why was Arachnos after you, anyway, Mister?" She direct the second question at Roland in particular.

Ballister, Moxxxi's (Interior)

Ballister looked surprised for a moment when he heard the enemy had retreated, then let out a sigh of relief, though he still hadn't put away his weapons.

"Thank god..." He turned to Kikko. "The name's Blackheart, by the way."

His eyes drifted towards Roland, eyeing him warily. He still intended on having words with him and Moxxi, but unless they tried to leave, it would have to wait until this "New York Witch" girl was out of the picture. He didn't want her to have get any more involved in this than she already was. She seemed far too nice for that.

Kurikara Food-O Uchi

"Mister Chevals. And please, go right ahead."

He could use a break, something petty and frivolous to occupy his mind for a while given his ostensible equal's little mission had proven elusively impossible to complete.

Ice Cream (read as "I Scream"), West Village

The guy really didn't even consider that someone would be willing to pull a fast one on him? Considering his... gregarious personality, that seemed more implausible to Belial than whatever the heaven it was that made Adam into such a weird thing angel creature person.

It certainly made his job easier, at least. Some food for thought.    "I figured."    The broken blade of Queen Shiva (or so it's been said) flashed in Belial's angel hand, redirecting the blow to keep it from shearing his head off - and letting him shove something in Adam's face. Another head, incidentally, though this one belonged to a warden demon that kept watch over Belial's prison back in a day.

Apparently, it still had some fancy powers despite being a cranium and a bit of spine.

The demon head screamed. The sound was localized (the location being Adam's person), but even those outside of its cone would feel the revolting shudder as bones creaked in protest and minds scrambled under the ancient spell of evil. It was nothing they couldn't walk off; just a brief discomfort, perhaps in realization of their own folly as feeble space dust shaped like mortal beings.

For Adam, the sound wouldn't be deafening, but it would sink into him. Like a ball of lead that bounces off a sturdier bone and causes greater harm by pinballing into squishier parts of the body, the scream would become an embroidery attached to his inner workings; a persistent echo, a merciless erosion, a repeated blast of vile forces. Back "home" (for lack of a better word), few demons could resist the attack; most would seize up as if epileptic and break themselves in the violent throes. Belial doubted this would put a serious harm on his opponent - but it would probably wipe that stupid smirk off his stupid face, and that was the real victory.

...well, maybe it would at least paralyze him for a few seconds and let him hack his head off or just run to live another day.

Moxxxi's (Exterior)

Kikko's view shows that the bandits are indeed retreating from the front of the bar...but something else is coming into view. Some sort of large, double-barreled cannon mounted haphazardly onto the back of a truck.

"Alright, ya skaglicks! I gave ya yer warning! Hey, Boom Bewm!"

Flynt is answered by a man in a welding mask seated behind the cannon.

"Light the fuses, bitches!"

That's not good.

Moxxxi's (Interior)

"Roland...I'm a mercenary by trade. Ex-military. If you know anything about the Bloodshot Bandits, wouldn't surprise you to know they're insane and violent. Lash out at anyone they think's a threat. Guess that goes the same for Arachnos - couldn't begin to guess what their problem is."

He pauses, catching his breath considering the rather concerning blood loss.

"...Jack putting a price on my head might be a factor."

Moxxis speaks up from behind the bar.

"Before you go roughing up my bar any more, ‘Black-Heart,’ Roland's a regular same as you. And I'm afraid if you're expecting me to choose a side in this little three-way scuffle, you'll be disappointed by my choice."

Kurikara Food-O Uchi

"Millions of your mortal years ago!"

Oh god he's shouting.

"Asura and I were part of a grand fighting force, the mighty army of Shinkoku! An empire long-forgotten by today's scholars, they saw us as gods! The Eight Guardian Generals, we were called, and we fought to protect the safety of Mother Gaia - what you now call 'Earth' - and her mortals! There was...admittedly a disagreement, among the gods. Several of us sought to better our chances against those who would endanger the mortals by using the power of our Priestess - the very daughter of Asura himself, Mithra! Durga...does not like telling this story, and would surely hit me should she hear I am telling you!"

Which is why he refuses to use an inside voice, surely.

Edited by ZodanTheUnbounceable on May 8th 2024 at 9:51:29 AM

Moxxxi's, Interior

"I see, I see! Well, pleased to meet you all!" the New York Witch said, all smiles, then diverted her attention to the window she'd created at the sight of the truck-mounted cannon. "Excuse me a moment..."

Striding over to the window she'd conjured, she pulled it open and stuck her wand through, waving it with a cry of "Meteor Tail!" As usual, multicolored geometric diamonds swirled outward, this time targeting the cannon. The change wasn't immediately apparent, but the Bandits would find that once they did succeed in firing it... it would fire gunsmoke and confetti rather than whatever its usual ammunition was.

Satisfied, Kikko pulled her arm and wand back inside and gestured again to dismiss the conjured window, then returned her gaze to Roland. "Blackheart" didn't even register as a threat, despite the name. He was just too knightly, and there was no way a knight in shining armor could be up to no good, was there? But Roland, he seemed much more badly hurt than she first realized...

"Well, Mr. Roland, I think you need a hospital!" she declared decisively. "That's not the sort of injury you can just walk off! Here—" with another wave of her scepter and chanting of magic words, she summoned a pair of stage curtains into thin air, which parted to reveal one of New York City's many ER waiting rooms.

"Shall we go?" she asked, beaming a smile at the merc as she extended a hand toward him.

Edited by darksidevoid on May 8th 2024 at 11:20:40 AM

Story Time With Wyzen and Emet

"Given what I've seen, this divine disagreement was because the power-producing priestess' parent did not approve of it? A simple lack of asking or a more... Dire part of the process?"

Hey, guys! This looks interesting, I think I’d like to join. Is there a discussion thread anywhere to communicate, or a discord server?

Edited by ISZATSO on May 9th 2024 at 3:15:56 PM

[ignore]

Edited by kkhohoho on May 9th 2024 at 11:21:23 AM