Taken in Hand, "When lulzblogging is a gift"

The lengths people go to in order to live out their sex fantasies...

That faildom femdom site uses ridiculous generalizations as fuel. "Most people who like dominant women are men! So that means all men are into dominant women!"

I totally understand the whole loving female authority business (hell, I love it), but they gotta understand that because a lot of people like doing it doesn't mean that everyone likes doing it.

Maybe the next thing I do should be a comparison of Taken in Hand and Loving Female Authority?

Sure. See who fails logic more...

YES.

Incidentally, I have discovered the perfect backing track to this thread.

No Means Yes, by Herbie Hancock.

The fact that it kind of sounds like porn music at times only accentuates it.

If that's how we're going to play, I see you and raise you Maximum the Hormone.

This guy are sick

They are about a 7 on the Misogyny scale of 1-10(with 10 being Ted Bundy). Their Distaff Counterpart are 5's on the Mysandry scale of 1-10(with 10 being Valerie Sonase)

edited 9th Jun '10 7:22:35 AM by Myrmidon

I'm not really going to pursue the misogyny point much further, just so we can keep this from turning into a huge debate.

After all, we're just here for the lulz.

Also, I just remembered, I should have followed up on that song title with 'Yes Means Anal!'

edited 9th Jun '10 6:01:58 AM by goodtimesfreegrog

I can't tell if it's misogynistic or just sexist yet.

It is lulzy, though.

edited 9th Jun '10 7:22:51 AM by Myrmidon

^^ OT, but what does the text mean on your Osaka avatar?

edited 9th Jun '10 7:59:02 AM by Jordan

Maybe the copypasta description is like Mad Libs.

A Taken In Hand relationship is a (adjective), (adjective) marriage in which, to the (noun) of both (plural noun), the (noun) actively (verbs) the (noun).

A Taken In Hand relationship is a SHINY, UGLY marriage in which, to the MONKEY of both PLUMBERS, the VOLCANO actively DANCES the TARANTULA.

edited 9th Jun '10 8:21:32 AM by Myrmidon

I keep getting this creeping suspicion that this thing will do the same for BDSM, powerplay and the likes as The Room did for Roses, and... sex in general, actually. So far, I do not appear to be wrong.

T Hat femdomm site wasn't secrety written by Moulton Marston was it?

No. Marston was into submissive women.

tender, submissive, peace-loving as good women are.

^ Oh, he was into dominant women too. Just read about Wonder Woman's prison reforms...

^Do tell, please.

It's on Scans_Daily, but basically his plan for prison reform was to have prisoners be handcuffed and forced to obey sexy women. This would somehow bring out their natural submissive sides, or omething.

Moulton was a bit weird.

Starting with the fact that he saw his kinks as universal?

^^ ...Dayum.

Pretty much, yeah.

Seriously, Golden Age Wonder Woman is so full of Fetish Fuel I'm surprised they let it be printed.

Is it wrong that the term "Taken In Hand" always makes me think of masturbation, instead of... this?

Time for the comparison all of the tropers have been waiting for. Well, all true tropers, anyway:

Taken in Hand vs. Loving Female Authority: The Fail-Off

Category I: Fetish Fuel

Then you click onto the Loving Female Authority site, and...holy crap, it's a picture of a hot, leather-clad dominatrix on the homepage of the site. Not only that, but more than a few tropers have been interested in LFA from a purely intellectual standpoint. So, I'm going to have to say that Loving Female Authority wins this round.

Score: LFA: 1, TiH: 0

Category II: Fetish Retardant

Considering they're both in a fail-off, it shouldn't surprise anyone that for fetish sites, both TiH and LFA epically fail at sexy.

Despite having a picture of a dominatrix on the homepage, LFA has some severely unsexy stuff. Scroll down past the initial picture, and you'll find that Elise Sutton's graphics come from someone who can't draw boobs for shit. Then, there's this WTF picture.

...Oh, yeah, and Sutton apparently wants us to psychoanalyze our partners in bed. No, really. Is it just me, or is asking someone about their childhood in bed not the way to get a coherent answer? And isn't asking the man who you've just tied up and dominated whether or not he has any fetishes kind of like asking the man who you've witnessed murdering someone whether or not he's ever committed a crime?

Taken in Hand's idea of sexy, on the other hand, is any Image Board's worst nightmare. I don't want to offend your sensibilities, so I'll just spoiler it I don't recommend highlighting the spoiler, though. It's the missionary position.

So Yeah. Taken in Hand's Fetish Retardant is less lulzy and more snoozy. They do have a couple of choice pieces of Squick, though. Such as this gem from their article on pregnancy:

As far as breastfeeding goes, Jack fully expected to share with our son, and of course I complied. When our son was a year old, Jack suggested that I begin to wean him (our son) from my breast, but Jack himself had no thought of weaning himself, so 4 years later, I'm still his little milk-cow. I'm now a stay at home mom, and I make time in my busy day to use a breast pump once or twice during the day, but my breasts are full and ready for Jack's attentions when he comes home from work.

AHDFBHIFBIBEBHBHBHRBHBHIR

So, at least LFA has their hot moments. TiH, on the other hand, either goes for mind-numbingly boring or brown-notingly squicky.

Score: LFA: 1, TiH: 1

The comparison will continue after a word from our sponsors.  ^*

edited 12th Jun '10 6:10:22 PM by LeighSabio

The psychoanalysis plays to the little part in all of us that wants to have kinky sex with Sigmund Freud.