(Hopefully) A different take on fantasy stories with Adventurers, different races and "Heroes"

An alternate idea that I was thinking is that Petruzzo would act as the resurrected “god”. I was thinking it might be a good story hook if his appointment as the chosen one comes in the form of being resurrected by either the “life queen” and/or “death queen”. I know he at last wouldn’t be a literal born-god but, hey, neither was Adonis. And I think Dumuzid was an initially mortal in the earliest myths.

So upon being chosen he would be given a choice to fulfill the “prophecy” (presumably in the service of the god(s)) or return to death. But then he might try to take a third option for his revenge quest. I think that could add some tension to the story if his goal doesn’t totally align with his destiny. And a nature of being a resurrected semi-god could provide some in-universe justification for any power or importance he gains through the story.

Running with this idea: the one who initially kills him would be either a demigod or a family member to Petruzzo. You could maybe do the Set thing and have him be the “murderer” but also have heroic qualities like how Set aided Ra against Apep. Maybe he gets a redemption arc and joins the good guys against a bigger villain later or something. Like how the story of Hadad’s death and resurrection had him making peace with his murderer Mot. Plus, you could make this guy the Vegeta of the story - the bad guy who becomes a rival-ally. I know that is more of a broad anime cliche but I’d say it also applies to isekais.

And going back to the idea of Petruzzo being chosen after he is killed - I kind of like the idea of the chooser deity being some long-forgotten life goddess who wants to aid the world despite being forgotten by it. You could maybe create a parallel with how Petruzzo was abandoned by his party. Maybe as the aristocrat forced Petruzzo out of the party, some evil deity or religious figure forced the goddess away from humanity in some way. Now the goddess is using this pact with Petruzzo to get back at the big evil guy as Petruzzo is trying to get back at his personal enemy.

Again, I’m just spitballing.

Edited by Woosmo on Sep 30th 2023 at 12:28:55 PM

I decided that Petruzzo would NOT become a god. At best, in the far future where he would be dead and buried with all the honors, he would be declared one of the imperial Saints. And, due to him managing to please his benefactor god up until his death, he would become a Spirit Advisor to the next Chosen.

And, I decided that he would not be killed by some demigod or someone that would become his rival, as the assailant who would mortally wound him would die by his hands no less. Basically, Petruzzo would be mortally wounded (stabbed, shot or impaled) but he kill the one who wounded him like that. And, the perpetrator would be either a strong monster that was also smarter than other ones infesting the temple, bandit leader or 2nd in command or some conspirators who used the temple as their secret hideout. While he would kill the one who wounded him, if it wasn’t for the literal divine intervention, it would’ve turned into a mutual kill.

There would be no destiny, or at least the fickle nature of freshy awoken resurrected god would allow him to throw a wrench into the thing called „fate”, which would constitute as nothing more but far-reaching plans of gods who played the long game. Him unknowingly becoming the unknown variable and fortunately him just ruining the plans of the „evil” gods.

And, I decided to keep the reason behind the benefactor god’s death a secret for the time being. And, that god would save Petruzzo at the literally last moment before he would expire from his wounds.

Why not just keep the assailant that started this whole adventure (since without it, the MC would not have gotten involved in this at all) at "starter-level basics".

Like it being just an animal that attacks him ferociously due to he being the one walking right into its space and it has a disease that makes it extremely aggressive due to having infested its brain and spinal cord for so long that it is about to die within the next week or sooner.

Infectious? Yes. Very much so.

Which is why it is in the temple to begin with, as it in its final week just wanted a isolated spot to lie down and die on in peace. Even if it can't understand diseases, it knows its "not okay" and dying.

And then this "two-legged creature" shows up.

So the animal attacks with everything it have.

Not connected to the temple or the gods or anything grander. It is just a lethally sick animal fighting off an intruder from its "final spot".

And winning since it is a kind of animal that one single person seriously should not try and take on in close-combat or alone for that matters. It's big.

And eventually, its death becomes the first "sacrifice" (in terms of "souls") to the forgotten god to begin strengthening itself to power once more.

Of course, the MC got infected with the disease that the animal carried and was there for in the first place. One with steady progression and always lethal outcome, but the Deity, "nice" as it is, informs the MC that their blessing will keep it from turning "lethal" but the symptoms will still be there and the moment the blessing goes away, the disease will hit the MC at full force, killing him depending on how long it takes for the deity to restore itself back to full power so it can permanently "cure" the MC from it as a sign of gratitude.

This way, the MC has to keep the "Deity's Quest" constantly in mind alongside his own adventures since he's going to live on borrowed time from here on and it could serve as a way to partly isolate him, keeping people from getting too close and infect them by accident.

But by making the "starter" a simple diseased animal, it would play into this encounter basically being a machination of that god to get someone to do its bidding without walking away from it all together like it may have experienced times and times before through the millennia.

The sickness serving as a shackle on the MC, so to speak.

...

Found another potential pitfall.

How is the magic-system defined in your story's setting?

What are the rules and limitations?

And how do the "blessings" of the "Chosen" work?

Are they always on or do they need to be recharged, through prayer, for example?

The magic-system being vague is one of the pitfalls.

Edited by Trainbarrel on Sep 30th 2023 at 8:20:37 PM

I think I will stay with my ideas who will mortally wound Petruzzo. But, the idea of his wounds kinda still lingering and him becoming Chosen for now keeps him alive is interesting. It would force him to help elevate the status of his benefactor god to keep him stable long enough until the god can fully heal him or until they can find strong enough healer to patch him up (there are certain recovery-oriented mages who could even reattach lost limbs or patch up someone who was literally gutted, but they would need to act quickly with the latter cases).

As for magic system, I had some initial ideas. Basically, all living creatures are to some degree attuned to Aether, and the bodies naturally store Aether. With enough training, almost anyone could cast spells. But, depending on their affinity, experience and how well attuned their body is to Aether, they might find it difficult or impossible to cast stronger and more complicated spells. Casting spells doesn't only spend Aether stored within your body, but also requires a bit of stamina to do it. Casting spells can and will take a toll on one's body, leaving careless caster (or someone who's been in a fight for too long) physically exhausted. Not only dedicated mages need to pay close attention to how much Aether they have currently in their bodies, but also they need to work out and build up their stamina to ensure they won't run out of steam before they ran out of Aether and require rest. By proper exercise, one can learn to better channel Aether throughout their body, thus limiting the amount of Aether you need to spend to cast a spell and limit physical strain from using spells. However, it is also possible to sacrifice one's life span for being able to cast more spells or cast more powerful ones. Obviously, this is a desperate act that will inevitably result in you living shorter or losing limbs. In one example, a mage to cast barrier powerful enough to withstand a dragon's wrath and protect a batallion sacrificed so much of their life force they went blind in one eye and needed to have their arm amputated due to necrosis.

Aether appears in three states of matter - solid (in form of crystals), liquid and gas. The gas one is most common, as it flows freely across the world like air. It is also invisible to the naked eye. Those who spend their magic reserves from their body naturally absorb Aether from the air as they rest, allowing them to replenish. Dwarfs managed to find more use to channnel the Aether from the air and use it when creating their Runes. Runes are special inscriptions filled with magic that can imbue anyone or anything with additional attributes or increase their durability. Typically, runes are applied to weapons, equipment and buildings to increase their effectiveness, durability or make them resistant to magic and corruption. Some are crazy or determined enough to have runes written on their flesh via tattoos to modify their body.

Crystalized Aether is a versatile material, which is predominantly used as a fuel source for Magitek machines, such as Imperial Golems or Walkers, used in tools and weapons either to amplify the user's magic or let them focus Aether easier. In these cases, Aether Crystals are used in staves and wands to help empower the user or allow them to focus easier on casting (and thus additionally reduce the physical stress and Aether consumption) or use them in weapons to give them magical attributes. Such weapons are rare, but usually they are of high quality. For example, a musket pistol with Aether crytstal could allow the user to focus Aether through it and fire bolts of magic from it or empower bullets inside it with magic.

Aether in liquid form also finds many uses in society, but it's more dangerous to use. Trying to bathe in the stuff, especially in its purest form, could have unforeseen consequences, such as mutations, developing a crippling Aether addiction and so forth. Any businesses and industries that use liquid Aether are rigorous about safety and ensuring the best quality of workers that would handle the stuff. Liquid Aether is used in creating high tier potions, enchantments, equipment, experimental fuel for machines, special oils that can increase combat effectiveness of weapons against certain type of monsters, or in one experiment, a component for stronger bombs and ammo for artillery. There was also a legend about someone using liquid Aether as an ingredient in their special potion that can prolong one's life way beyond normal life span of their race. But, these are just legends no one managed to confirm.

Aether can also appear in "pure" form (which all races store naturally in their bodies), and in variety of elemental forms. Usually, the elemental Aether is used more for crafting , fuel or ingredients. Trying to use it to recharge your Aether reserves can backfire, as it might actually lock you out of using different elemental magic.

I mentioned "Affinities". Basically, anyone can learn any elemental magic. Affinity only determines which element will be easier for you to learn and use. For example, someone having affinity for Fire magic can still learn Wind or Earth spells, but they will master Fire magic the fastest. On the other hand, trying to learn the magic that is the opposite of your elemental Affinity will prove harder for you to master. But, like I said, it's possible to still master it. Those who can manage to learn and master more than four elements is considered an Archmage.

Regarding the blessings Chosen receive. Basically, when you become Chosen, you become connected to your benefactor god or goddess. Through this connection, a deity can give their Chosen power, that usually manifests as passive abilities (like for example being able to see in the dark, be able to talk to animals, increased resistance to fire or poison, etc). The list can go on with passives. There are also new spells (the blessing would help them learn elemental magic easier in case their Affinity is opposite to the elemental spells a deity might bestow upon them) or abilities a Chosen can receive. Usually, these powers are directly related to that deity. So, don't think that by being a Chosen of God of Blacksmiths will give you ability to use Nature magic. In addition, if a Chosen is in a good standing with their god, they could also invoke the power of their god through prayers. However, what is important to remember is that what powers and benefits of becoming a Chosen depends on that god's standing (the more they are revered and known, the more power they can give) and how much they like/are pleased with their Chosen. Gods like to invoke carrot-and-stick approach with their Chosen, who are suppose to serve as their agents in the mortal world. The more you please them, more benefits might come. Disappoint them, and they might strip you of your powers and forsake you.

I know I will need to work more on the magic system. But, I hope I have some of the basics down or the foundation I could work on.

Good you have a firm image of what you want to create, that is progress.

Also, it would be a good idea, regarding building the world, to write a "Material Book" containing the info about this so you have something to keep track of things and not have it all in your head alone.

It might make things easier.

I think my last post might have been misunderstood. I wasn’t trying to suggest Petruzzo becoming a god. I was just suggesting him fulfilling the role of the “dying god” in that narrative structure. Like a symbolic resurrection. In any case, I think we’re past the topic but I really love the Trainbarrel’s idea that Petruzzo killing his would-be-killer acting as a sacrifice to the temple god, awakening the deity and then Petruzzo was chosen as he was the one who offered the sacrifice (albeit unintentionally).

I think that gives a great justification for Petruzzo being the chosen one in the first place without resorting to “destiny” or it being a totally random fluke.

Now a final question I have about the whole ordeal: how much does Petruzzo know about this deity and the “quest” this god has for him? I think it might make for a better story hook of he’s given as little information as possible so that way he can leave the temple and get going on his personal quest while keeping the “chosen” thing in the back pocket until later. Rather than his personal business going on the back burner while he works-out his Chosen status.

I'll write it down somewhere, don't you worry.

Oh. I apologize for my mistake there. But, I can backtrack for this idea of Petruzzo accidentally offering up his would-be killer as a sacrifice and awakening the god through it. I might have an idea for it.
In this potential scenario, Petruzzo and his would-be-killer fought in front of an altair where a priest would give offerings to the benefactor god as a sacrifice. During the fight, Petruzzo gets mortally wounded and his blood gets on the altair. But, thanks to adrenaline rush, Petruzzo manages to kill his would-be killer also getting their blood on the altair. Perhaps even the would-be-killer (or just a body part of them) falls on the altair as well. Thanks to Petruzzo remembering the god's name (as he attentively listened to the high priest who commissioned him, Mist and Carmine to clear out the temple), he correctly prays to them in pure desperation (him about to die from his wounds and blood loss, his friends and unfortunate inventor about to be overrun by enemies). The prayer plus unintentional sacrifice of his own blood and his would-be killer inside the temple dedicated to that god met all the requirements to awaken the god.

As to answer your other question - Petruzzo didn't know much about that god. Although he does pray to some gods of the pantheon, especially the All-Mother, his knowledge of his future benefactor god was greatly limited. Before meeting the high priest, he would only remember from school the tale of one god that was slain and whose followers begged other gods to save them. He would slowly get more informed about his benefactor god over time, usually either via intel Grand Marshall would provide him, High Priest educating him whenever he would meet him or most usually during his sleep, where the benefactor god would talk to them directly. Petruzzo would try to focus mastering his new abilities and try to figure out how to spread the word of that god's successful revival to increase its standing and attract followers. But, his personal stuff like travelling around the Empire to find and recruit his colleagues from the retinue they served together, chasing conspiracies and disasters plauging the Empire, and most importantly, earning money to survive alongside Mist and Carmine. While I was considering how to answer your question, I had a maybe good idea for a story arc directly following after Petruzzo becoming Chosen. Basically, after getting in-touch with Grand Marshall and High Priest and updating them on their current situation, Petruzzo and the rest decided to heed G.M.'s suggestion to recruit more people to their party. While G.M. would look for their retinue colleagues (they all went their seperate ways after the Crusade ended), Petruzzo, Mist and Carmine decided to do some missions for the Guild to get more funds and better gear. And, hopefully help Petruzzo figure out how some of his new powers work through combat. During these months, Petruzzo, Mist and Carmine would gain renown quickly, unfortunately attracting the attention of Petruzzo's former team leader. The noble leader's team performance dropped significantly due to Petruzzo's absence (he was the one who patched up the tactics of the inept leader, handled weakening targets through spells and sharpshooting and handled the logistics). And, the leader blamed Petruzzo for his luck going down the drain and being unable to find anyone willing to replace him (I am trying to find a rational explanation aside from "too high expectations"). When the two met again, conflict arose quickly.

The noble leader obviously would be the main antagonist of this story arc. And, it would feature a competition between him and Petruzzo; Petruzzo saving the noble and his team from certain death, the noble leader challenging Petruzzo to a duel to him being unable to stomach being saved by him and having most of his party rebel against him; and end with Petruzzo whooping his ass in the duel, allowing the "good" members of Petruzzo's original party to leave the noble without any reprecussions and having one of them join Petruzzo's party.

The idea is a bit half-baked. But, I think I could make something great out of it with enough details and time.

I’d say you got a pretty strong start here. So would the first act end with him becoming a chosen guy (could probably come up with a cooler words for that - like Herald or Champion or something) or is that the opening with the end of the first act being him defeating his old noble leader before beginning his quest proper? Like, is defeating the noble the ordeal stage of the Hero’s Journey or the crossing the threshold stage? I would assume it’s the latter but I’m a little iffy on if you’re going for the noble guy as a “final boss” or “early boss”.

I'd say Heralds sounds cooler. Maybe I would reserve it for those Chosen who are particularly favored by their respective gods (gods can have more than one Chosen), and have Petruzzo be the Herald of the newly resurrected god. And, considering how I decided the story so far, defeating the noble and recruiting one of his old party members into his group would count as the end of prologue or act 1 of the story. Like I mentioned before, in case Petruzzo didn't kill that noble leader during their duel, the noble would come back later trying to kill Petruzzo and his party and ultimately be killed by Petruzzo or Mist (in this variant, the noble tries in last ditch effort take Mist hostage and threatens to kill her, only to have Petruzzo kill him from afar either with his powers or simple pistol headshot without harming Mist or Mist having disarmed him and kill him in retaliation), or have Petruzzo neutralize him in a way Low Chaos!Corvo Attano would. Regardless of the outcome, the noble's family would be furious and would become future antagonists.

Edited by ArcticDog18 on Oct 3rd 2023 at 8:45:04 PM

Okay, perhaps I should mention some of my other ideas for the magic system in this world.

I mentioned Affinities and how important it is to exercise one's body for better management of Aether inside your body when casting spells. But, I guess I should mention now Elements.

Here is the list of elemental magics people would have Affinity towards - Fire, Water, Air, Earth, Metal, Thunder, Life, Beast, Light, Dark, and Arcane. The rarest elemental affinity encounter is Arcane, as it handles channeling Aether in its purest form. And, those who possess affinity for this element will not find any trouble learning spells of other elements, due to it not having any conventional opposite.

The reason why I didn't restrict people from learning other elemental spells even if their Affinity is the opposite of said element is because I wanted to include the ability to mix other elements together to create new spells or achieve different elemental spells. For exmaple, Ice Magic is the advanced version of Water magic which also combines a bit of Air magic into the mix. Or, when you combine Fire and Water magic would allow the mage to create geysers of scalding water or manipulate steam. Other example would be mixing Fire and Earth magic, allowing you to create lava for offensive (like pelting enemy with lava) or defensive (creating a lava flood as an area of denial kind of way or redirect lava flow) purposes. Fire magic can be mixed with other elements to give the flames different attributes. For example, mixing Light magic with Fire grants flames purifying attribute, while mixing Fire with Dark magic can inflict curses or other debuffs that would spread like a poison (usually, such Dark Flames are used against opponents who are notorious for their healing abilities). While sticking to one element is viable, and some who stuck to only one element can become absolute magical powerhouses, mixing elements together is generally more popular in-lore due to versatility and practicality.

In this setting, Dark magic is not seen as inherently evil, or light as inherently good. In general, most doesn't see magic as a malevolent force, but rather as convenient tools or weapons. It all depends on a person how they use their magical gifts. Of course there would be some who would have biases regarding certain elements, either due to prejudices, personal experiences or other factors.

I am still working on it, but I had an idea to also include Celestial magic, which is connected to the gods and could be considered stronger version of regular magic (basically combining the power of the stars or the divine), and Death magic, which is generally practiced by Necromancers and those involved in funeral and gravedigging business. The latter are usually not seen as pure evil, but they are still invoking fear from others due to them interacting with the dead.

Hmm, that's interesting *takes notes*

I have two story ideas each with two differnt magic system one I msolty fleshed out...the other not so much, but they both revolved around eight Color-Coded Elements: Light (Yellow), Dark (Purple), Lightning (Magenta), Earth (Orange), Wind (Green), Water (Blue), Ice (Cyan), and Fire (Red). I am considering adding two more as Hidden elements based on Arcane and Celestial. (One focusing on Star Power and the other on Pure Energy). Those would be getting Indigo and White

Edited by MorningStar1337 on Oct 8th 2023 at 1:21:03 AM

Hey! It's been a long time since I last wrote. I had to think about certain things, like other elements of worldbuilding, the actual military strength of the Empire, a proper name for it or major imperial cities. While I won't dump all of it at once, I wanted to share an idea for further storytelling I had as of late.

First off - the original party Petruzzo was part of. I wanted to avoid the more prevalent trope within the "betrayed hero being the crutch of the team". The trope I am speaking of is "the performance of the original party plummets to the point they can't beat low level mobs". I had an idea how to still present it in a way, but negate the exaggerated part about it.
My idea is that Petruzzo's original team consisted of competent members who did not suddenly become useless after he left the party. Their performance would drop, but the main reason would be the lack of maintaining proper party logistics, lack of a competent strategist/leader and lack of someone filling the role of a quartermaster - all three roles Petruzzo had to maintain to keep the noble leader from getting everyone killed. Due to Petruzzo's training under the High Marshall and studying from Imperial Quartermaster during the Crusade, he's grown into not only a competent fighter, but also a leader who understoond how important it is to maintain supplies and care for equipment. Thanks to his merchant background, he understood just how vital logistics were to an army, and he carried some of this knowledge into his Adventurer career. While he often got disrespected by the leader, other party members appreciated his help and knew how much work he had to go through to keep the party functional. Without Petruzzo, they slowly started to suffer from supply problems, and any attempts at more cohesive battle plans went out of the window due to the noble leader going all Leeroy Jenkins in pursuit of glory or making tactical mistakes that would've killed someone from the party if it weren't for them being tough enough to survive, but a bit worse for wear. Supply problems, lack of someone doing the quartermaster duty, poor leadership, abusive treatment of the noble on other party members and his general recklessness resulted in the party dropping in quality. Not to the point of uselessness, but the drop is visible. The only reason other party members won't leave him like Petruzzo did is the noble blackmailing and threatening them all. While the noble tries (and fails) to find someone to replace Petruzzo, other party members plot how to break free from the noble to join other parties (one member considers joining Petruzzo's new group) or pursue other careers. The problem noble has with a replacement is not fidning someone who is just as crazily good as Petruzzo (there are actually some available adventurers who are on similar competence level as him, truth be told), but is with his attitude and recklessness. Petruzzo leaving him out of his own volition damaged the noble's reputation, and spreading rumors of his behavior and abuse of his party members resulted in barely anyone wanting to join up. In short, I wanted to give a more grounded reason for party's drop in performance.
Just before someone asks - they can't abandon the noble to die on his own. Unfortunately the bastard is too good of a fighter to drop dead that easily. As for other original party members, they would find success once they are freed thanks to Petruzzo helping them with their scheme. One would join his Adventurer party and become a valuable member of the group, some would thanks to Petruzzo's recommendation join the military and later on become members of High Marshall's new personal retinue, others would join way less abusive Adventurer teams and perform admirably, and some would quit adventuring and find fortune elsewhere. The noble was bringing them all down.

Later on, I will tell of my idea for the goddess that revived Petruzzo and turned him into her Herald. I started to get some ideas based on Valkyries for her, and how she could aid her champion in a more direct way.