Ryan George (Pitch Meetings)

Yes, that's about right.

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

The Last Airbender Pitch Meeting

Jesus Christ those eyes.

Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.

No time for personality or character development or even learning how to pronounce character names.

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

I find it interesting just how the movie turned all the bright, funny, developed characters from the series into walking Exposition Dumps with less personality and character than a dirt pile. I wasn't aware this level of badness was possible.

So, let's hang an anchor from the sun... also my Tumblr

The First Guy To Ever Swim

Might have wanted to do that away from the grey triangles.

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

Independence Day Pitch Meeting

[Looks around]

[Checks calendar]

Really coincidental timing you got there, Mister George.

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

I know for sure this isn't a coincidence. Welcome to Earth.

Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.

Almost disappointed he didn’t even mention it having one of the hypest speeches in movie history.

PSN ID: FateSeraph | Switch friendcode: SW-0145-8835-0610 Congratulations! She/They

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

To each their own. I cringed all the way through it. They were fighting the aliens for something like two days. I feel like you don't declare "independence" in that situation. Especially in front of the token black guy.

Edited by Fighteer on Jul 5th 2020 at 6:04:49 AM

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

It was literally on Independence Day when he gave that speech, so I'll give him slack for this one.

Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.

Yes, a film called Independence Day is set so that the climactic Rousing Speech happens on July 4. I'm sorry, you get zero points for creativity, writers. If I could take points away, I would.

I'll throw in a D for symbolism, a C- for shoehorned patriotism, a participation award for effort, and an A+ for knowing the target audience.

Edited by Fighteer on Jul 5th 2020 at 10:20:51 AM

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

In which he breaks down how fucking creepy the game of Tag sounds for the uninitiated.

Edited by TheAirman on Jul 12th 2020 at 11:06:25 AM

PSN ID: FateSeraph | Switch friendcode: SW-0145-8835-0610 Congratulations! She/They

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters Pitch Meeting

You Son Of A Gun... I'm In.

If he's in, I'm in.

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

So let me try to work out the conditions each Ryan has for being in.

Red Jacket Ryan is in if Blue Jacket and Tie Ryan is in, out if Blue Jacket and Tie Ryan is out, in if Blue Stripes Ryan is out, in if Dark Blue Jacket Ryan is in.

Blue Stripes Ryan is also in if Blue Jacket and Tie Ryan is in, in if Red Jacket Ryan is in, out if Red Jacket Ryan is out.

Hat and Tie Ryan is in if Blue Stripes Ryan is in.

Fedora Ryan is in if Hat and Tie Ryan is in.

Brown Jacket Ryan is in if Fedora Ryan is in.

Beach Shirt Ryan is in if Brown Jacket Ryan is in, in if Fedora Ryan is in (except he immediately changes his mind about this).

Dark Blue Jacket Ryan is out if Beach Shirt Ryan is in, in if Blue Jacket and Tie Ryan is in, out if Blue Stripes Ryan is out, in if Hat and Tie Ryan is out, out if Brown Suit Jacket Ryan is eating cheese.

Blue Jacket and Tie Ryan is out if Dark Blue Jacket Ryan is out, in if White Dress Shirt Ryan is in.

White Dress Shirt Ryan is in if Red Jacket Ryan is out.

German Ryan is in if Blue Stripes Ryan is in.

Blue Flowers Shirt Ryan is out if Blue Jacket and Tie Ryan is out, in if Beach Shirt Ryan is in (but still in if Beach Shirt Ryan is out).

Edited by BOOXMOWO on Jul 16th 2020 at 11:20:05 AM

I can't believe you tried to work that out.

Edited by Fighteer on Jul 16th 2020 at 3:23:57 PM

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

Now the logical next step is to work out the arrangement that yields most Ryans being in.

Sharknado Pitch Meeting

Problem with mocking Sharknado is that Sharknado is already a parody. Like, the dude killed in ankle-deep water. That's on purpose.

It's such a parody that it spawned FIVE sequels. I don't know if someone failed to get the message or if they're just that committed to the kayfabe.

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

The first movie alone quadrupled Asylum (the production company's) expected revenues for that year.

You'd expect them not to milk it to death? Asylum is a company that got its root in The Mockbuster, trying to milk money of rubes who'd pick a movie in a bargain bin thinking they got another actual movie. It's not like they have a sense of artistic standard to adhere to.

Like the plotholes, the low budget... That's the entire point. The director himself described his movie as "There's a flood. And a storm. Don't worry about it."

Edited by Ghilz on Jul 19th 2020 at 4:49:30 AM

Well, in that they're consistent at least. Stick with what you know.

"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"

They've got this idea down to a Scienk (which was a good set up for one of Ryan George's better jokes).