Dumbest Fanfic You Ever Wrote?

I did another incredibly dumb one recently for farts and giggles.

"The Super Smash Bros. Holiday Special" http://archiveofourown.org/works/9073879 - for anyone brave. It's a Nintendo-characters retelling of the infamous terribad Star Wars Holiday Special. (The Wookie household, for instance, has been replaced with the various versions of Link from The Legend of Zelda series only being able to talk in grunts and "hiyaaas!").

My excuse? I was quite ill over the holidays - dizzy from coughing and medicine and not getting enough sleep or breath... (kind of like how I am right now, actually, but that a worse cold).

A novelization of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders From Mars starring Harry Potter characters...

At least it was different?

I once did a drabble collection of Fruits Basket crackfics. Suffice to say that mucus, porn and a crack pairing were involved.

Part Six of Tales of a Reset Mind was a Breather Episode of Nico looking for his keys all over the Autonomous City Of Buenos Aires. Cool, but dragged everything down and was given a viking funeral.

The original versions of the Power Ponies' origin stories were pretty bad.

The biggest problems with each of them:

• The Masked Matterhorn made the decision to become a superhero literally overnight.
• Fili-Second falls victim to the Improbable Age trope, because I was so eager to have a speedster who wasn't impatient that I didn't consider the possibility of achieving that through character development.
• Zapp was simply given the magical amulet. No suspense there at all. Even the new version probably needs a rewrite, as she's still rather quick to accept her "destiny."
• Radiance's origin story actually wasn't too bad, but I ended up changing her motivation for becoming a superhero in the new version.
• In Mistress Marevelous's story, I made the mistake of revealing exactly who killed her father. I'll probably recycle the former killer in a different role.
• Saddle Rager also had a bit of a problem with too much being revealed. Her origin is meant to be a Noodle Incident, but I hinted a bit too much at the details. The new version gives no such clues.

If you meant dumb ideas, then some of the stuff I cut/altered from my work-in-progress Pokemon Super Fic definitely qualifies. The end-of-the-world prophecy was a mess that explained absolutely everything in the plot, one of the heroes was a Superman expy, and the villain didn't feel like a real threat or a real character. Not to mention that the way I got one of my favorite canon characters involved was contrived as heck.

So, before I got halfway decent, I wrote a bunch of fics that are just... boring. Someof them were told seriously, but others were silly.

One of those stories, back when I think I was starting to improve, was a fake Sora x Riku lemon Troll Fic with a suggestive title, suggestive summary, and plenty of words in the word count. Only for it to be very different. Why? Because I could.

The previous opinions about yaoi and yuri I express in the post-script do kind of annoy me considering I've grown to tolerate their existence, but if anyone wants to give it a read, have fu nwith Sora's Birthday Present.

Is it bad I want to read about half of these?

I remember writing a treatment for a potential Paper Mario sequel (before TTYD). From what i remember it had Bowser kidnap Peach AND Daisy so Mario and Luigi had to go save them. I don't remember anything about partners, but the basics were just Paper Mario 64 stuff with slightly different places/locations, IE a mansion full of Little Mousers instead of Boos, a Shy Guy circus, and I think Kamek and Kammy teamed up for a boss fight too.

Sadly it's long gone so I don't remember anything else, except the title was Paper Mario: Bowser's Back! which could easily be misconstrued.

Edited by lalalei2001 on Jul 11th 2020 at 9:07:58 AM

I'm so excited to share with you this one Super Smash Bros fic I wrote called Super Smash Bros Universe and you can find it here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11145004/1/Super-Smash-Bros-Universe-The-Fanfiction-I-Wrote-In-2011 so here's the thing: I wrote it when I was like 10 or something. The "plot" is that Luigi was killed by a bunch of bad guys and now Mario's all suicidally depressed over it. BUT WAIT Luigi comes back and he's evil, except he's not, except... well, it doesn't make much sense.

A couple of times I've tried writing purposefully bad fan fiction only to realize that there's nothing quite like people genuinely FAILING to write a good story.

At first I thought "?" was a formatting error until I realized you did the old "Name your Pokemon rival ???" thing.

No, I just wanted to keep his identity a secret. I don't know if you realized, but the foreshadowing was pretty counter-intuitive. If I could go back in time, I'd tell myself "If you want to hide the true identity of your character, maybe don't write 'he was the same height as Luigi' next time." Ah, good times.

I wrote a different fanfic a couple years later that isn't quite as bad, this time for the Powerpuff Girls, but it does have an OC who's practically a Gary Stu. YMMV if he's worse or better than Blisstina. It's here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12190224/1/Powerpuff-Girls-Forever-Featuring-an-OC-Named-Black

Ooh, I used to do some REALLY dumb ones in my anime fanfic days. These included a Sailor Moon/Columbo fusion one where Soun Tendo marries Carol Brady and finally one where Akane Tendo and Ami Mezuni were twin sisters.

Some peoples' first OCs were self-insert heroes; mine were self-insert villains or close enough. The first original story I wrote was a Pokemon story where Team Rocket used a Master Ball to catch Pikachu (and only Trainer Bill◊ could save him!). There was also a rewrite of the first Pokemon movie where I was the villain, using a Clefairy against Ash's Butterfree cause my favorite Pokemon was Clefairy (it used Metronome and got Hyper Beam...) and my magic Poke Balls were GREEN cause I liked the color green.

I also recently rediscovered a Yu-Gi-Oh OC◊ I made when i was 10. This isn’t the only drawing I’d made of Molly; there was one that was colored in but I couldn’t find that one, so I took the old drawing and refurbished it as best I could remember.(I thought everybody had to have Yami Yugi eyes XD) Her hair was black, while her eyes and dress were purple.

The story behind this character from what I can remember (I forget if I drew her first or created her on the Nick.com message board fanfic area first) is that Molly was “Pegasus’s bratty daughter” who didn’t really duel, preferring to either ask her papa to send people to the Shadow Realm, or drop enemies down trap doors instead (I had a big thing for trap doors as a kid, and liked that Pegasus used them in the anime XD). Nowadays I supposed if she did duel she’d use Bottomless Trap Hole and the like. I assume Molly was an adoptive daughter, though as I didn’t know Pegasus’s age at the time I might’ve said biological.

Looking back I’m pretty amused at my younger self. (I ended up redesigning her◊ too.

Edited by lalalei2001 on Sep 16th 2018 at 6:24:06 AM

...ever? I'm pretty sure my entire oveure is crap. And this is Sincerity Mode, fellas, not just Self Depreciation.

I once read a Hellsing fic that paired Integra and Alucard off, and posited that Alucard smelled like roses and leather. Accordingly, the first story I posted on my ff.net account was "Alucard: the Fragrance," a script for a commercial for this amazing perfume. (I wasn't mocking the story, and in fact plugged it in an author's note.)

It featured Steve Irwin getting eaten by a ghoul because he didn't have the scent to ward it off - as you can imagine, I took it down not long after Irwin died, and probably should have long before then. The story was... pretty bad.

My strongest memory of it was that the script had Alucard manifesting without a shirt "for some reason."

Edited by Durazno on Sep 19th 2018 at 1:06:41 PM

second post on these forums, may as well call myself out XD years ago, i wrote a godawful warriors oc fic called plumstar's reign! to my memory i wrote it as a trollfic, like a parody of grimdark fics with villain sue protagonists, and i thought i was being clever and satirical- but the problem: i didn't really know what satire was. so i just wrote a genuinely bad fic with some wink-wink nudge-nudge moments of self-awareness which just made the whole thing... that much worse.

looking back on it i think i just wanted to write an awful gorefest and be able to hide behind it being a parody to justify it being so bad, but i honestly don't know. i also didn't know how to write the kind of edgy darkfics i was parodying, so i just kind of threw anatomically incorrect gore and swearing around.

in addition, the characters that get massacred? they were my ocs that i genuinely developed and cared about that had existed for a while before plumstar's reign, though this was the only time i used them for anything. i wrote a fic about this completely random character torturing my own beloved ocs and i'm really not sure why.

also there are several incorrect uses of the word 'moshpit' because i think 11 year-old me just thought it was a fancy word for group.

this whole thing is such a godawful mess but it's my baby. my beautiful, horrible baby that seems to think entrails can be removed through the chest following a throat slit. it tells me how far i've come, if nothing else, haha

I once tried to make a crossover between "Teen Wolf", and "The horribly slow murder with an extremely inefficient weapon". I sometimes wonder what I was on that week.

We will not be digging The Poptart Prophecy up today, thank you.

Aw, now I'm curious.

Hmm, on relefection I think the Doctor Who fic I wrote to close out 2018, "You're A Bad Wolf Rose Tyler" proved to be a misfire with some Rose and even Donna Noble fans....it does have it's fans though.

Edited by Zarius on May 10th 2020 at 2:17:28 AM

In general, my sense of humor aligns pretty closely with Crack Fics, so when I write comedy, it tends to be completely ridiculous stuff like Weekend at King's Landing.

Going from the title alone, I'm imagining a version of Weekend at Bernie's with an impaled-by-crossbow Tywin Lannister in the role of the titular dead-guy-paraded-around-as-alive. :V

Edited by PresidentStalkeyes on May 10th 2020 at 5:00:57 PM

Bron, actually.

Aw, now I'm curious.

It was an attempt at a Warrior Cats Crack Fic that "parodied" the original series by telling an identical story with Nyan Cat in the lead. I had no understanding of how to actually write humor, especially the "random" humor that was in vogue at the time. Thankfully, it was only ever posted on a now-defunct forum.

Edited by Katdo on May 10th 2020 at 11:32:48 AM

hey, we’re dumb warrior cats fanfiction solidarity! was nyan cat given a warrior name? i must know!

Dumb Warrior Cats fanfiction is a rite of passage, isn't it? He did; it was... oh god... Nyanflight. I just... what was I thinking? And some people actually liked it! Around the same time, I wrote a more normal story that was slightly better despite ironically being even more of a Random Events Plot with equally flat characters.