OCD suffering tropers, assemble!

That sucks :(. I would advise you to try again with another therapist, though. Just because one sucked, doesn't mean others will.

Eh, meds would be better. I'd address the head of the fish, so to speak. Besides, there's no Yelp for therapy. I'd rather know that I'm getting someone who doesn't suck, ahead of time.

edited 22nd Jun '16 9:56:55 PM by SpaceWolf

Is anyone still here?

I'm still here

Me too

How have you been keeping up?

Fine durng the summer, but had a recent comeback since I got home though I think it's mostly under control.

Good, for the most part. About mid-July I started regressing into compulsive habits and bad anxiety, but after a couple agonizing weeks of it I somehow pulled myself out of it. I've been feeling pretty good since then.

I am a little nervous about going back up to college though. Transitions from one environment to another always heightens my anxiety for a bit, and that's usually when I slip up with my OCD and things get worse.

Well, damn. That does make sense, though. Do you have campus therapy?

Yeah, it's what I went to for my treatment last year when I underwent formal therapy. I go to University of Washington, and it has one of the best medical centers in the United States. Plus I have a very strong support network and a list of people I can contact if I'm feeling too weighed down by my OCD. So that's the good thing at least.

Holy shit. I live in the Seattle area. We should meet up.

edited 7th Sep '16 7:07:47 PM by SpaceWolf

Ugh I've had a bad week

What happened?

Not much, just been a rough week with sudden surges of anxiety

I'm sorry to hear that. I think everybody here knows what that feels like, and how much it sucks. I wish there was something more I could say to help, but I don't know what to say. Are there particular situations that provoke the anxiety, or is it just a constant blaring of it?

How can I fix anything when I'm in no position to see a professional?

It seems to happen pretty randomly, with no clear triggers that I know of. When I'm not directly thinking specific things, I feel perfectly fine, and entirely normal. Hell, I feel the best I've been in a while when I'm not freaking out over something that isn't an issue. I know it's not an issue because thinking about it doesn't bring me anything other than fear, but I've been mentally compulsing a bit which isn't helping. I hate my mind sometimes.

Baby steps. Reach out to your support networks and tell them you've been having a tough time lately. You don't need to be specific, just tell them things are difficult. You're not going to conquer everything at once, and they'll be a huge help. From there you can look into getting more professional help. (Also forgot to say this before, but a meetup could be fun, depending on my schedule. I am starting my senior year and I'll be graduating soon.)

I completely empathize. My HOCD is now at a point where only some topics lead me down the road to anxiety, and I tense up for a bit while clawing to get my mind away from it, but I remember a time where anything would set it off. Hell I was bowling once and it got triggered. It definitely sucks. What my therapist told me when I started getting help was that the next-best thing to not compulsing is making note of when you are and making an active attempt at not allowing yourself to make compulsions. I had this exercise she'd give me where I would write down what my obsessive thoughts were about once I started feeling anxious, how I was trying to compulse, and how long that lasted. It doesn't sound like much, but just being aware of things made the OCD feel so much more manageable.

edited 15th Sep '16 12:18:36 AM by randomdude4

The other really awful part is where I know I'm obsessing and try to calm myself down without just compulsing, some asshole part of my brain says "are you really fine or are you just telling yourself that so you don't have to face the truth?"

I'm not sure if that'll work. I don't have much of a support network. There were a couple of people with whom I discussed this in the early days (before I even knew what I was facing), but I no longer talk to most of those people. If I brought it up to anyone new, they'd just ask what's wrong. The specific nature of my thoughts would make me very reluctant to divulge that information.

Do you have family you can talk to? Your parents maybe?

That's honest-to-God one of the worst parts about OCD. For me with HOCD a lot of it was compounded by the fact that Armored Closet Gay people who repress their sexuality deeply exist, which only made things even more troubling to me, and my brain was constantly telling me that I was lying to myself when I would try compulsing away my anxiety.

That seriously would not work. Again, it has to do with the exact nature of it.

I've been riding this train for years, and there seems to be no end in sight.

You guys are the only people with whom I can really talk about any of this.

I really wish I could help you, Swolf.

I'm worried if the current wave is the sort of thing that flares out after a week (like the last time I had this obsession) or sticks around for a while (which would be hell)

Also apparently my brain is terribly unoriginal because the "background noise" obsession I had this summer was the oldest obsession that I can verifiable pin to my OCD (it's the one that got me diagnosed in the first place)

I've been having another tough week

Ugh my brain is being a jerk this morning