Dumbest Literature Mistakes You've Made

Back during the Twilight craze, on a whim, I bought the four books without reading them. Huge, HUGE mistake.

Buying a Trudi Canavan book, because it was a staple addition to the shelves of bookstores I'd haunted for years, therefore it must be good, right?

Hated the book within the first few pages (The Black Magician Trilogy in case you were wondering) due to many factors, including its overdose of Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp" as well as a bad case of Description in the Mirror and just bad writing in general. Physically threw it away at one point. Still finished it "so I could properly critique it" I said to myself. No redeeming features were found. Avoided the rest of her works like the plague.

"...in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."

I recall picking up Raymond Feist's Shadow of a Dark Queen, largely because I kept seeing Raymond Feist novels in the fantasy section at my local bookstore, and I'd never read any of them. The prologue to said novel actually had a demon uttering the lines "Tremble, puny mortal." I should have stopped there, as the writing didn't get any better. This wasn't even Feist's first book or anything, I didn't finish, as I couldn't manage any interest in the characters and the writing hurt my head.

I got Madeleine L'Engle and Ursula K. Le Guin mixed up, don't ask me how. So I saw A Wizard of Earthsea and bought it, remembering how I'd liked A Wrinkle in Time.

During my Sophomore year of high school, I confused Kafka's The Metamorphosis (which was on my Honors reading list) for Ovid's The Metamorphoses (which was not). In fairness to me, it was just listed Metamorphosis, with no stated author and my mom had a copy of Ovid not Kafka. Realized my mistake the Friday before my project on the book I read was due. Luckily, Beowulf was on my reading list and my mom also had a copy of that, so I read that and finished the project in a weekend.

Have a great day everyone!

• face in hands* Yeah, I read Twilight. And did the movie marathons.

I got better.

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said "I drank WHAT?"

I realized recently when I saw an article about the mystery author Edmund Crispin that I continually confuse him with Christopher Morley. It's partly because the former has a book called The Haunted Bookshop and the latter' 'The Moving Toyshop'', and partly because besides the similarity between Christopher and Crispin, both writers have Elizabethan-sounding names.

I just double checked this now, but I was actually correct in my understanding that Morley's The Haunted Bookshop has a mystery plotline- which is confusing because the first book in Morley's series isn't a mystery- it's just like a slice-of-life. Whereas all of Crispin's books are mysteries.

edited 16th Sep '17 8:31:19 PM by Hodor2

As a teen, I started collecting books and I made it my goal to read every "noteable" book even if it wasn't to my liking. Alas, now I have half-finished Twilight, Harry Potter, and Oliver Twist books sitting around my house that I can't bother to continue. I didn't take to mind how difficult it would be to read boring or unappealing books.

I keep getting Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIHM confused with From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.

edited 2nd Jan '18 3:37:54 PM by lalalei2001

The Protomen enhanced my life.

I know that feeling, it took me forever to read Crime and Punishment, which I did essentially because I felt that I ought to. Currently trying to read Thomas More's Utopia which is 500 years old and reads like it too, finding it very difficult.

edited 2nd Jan '18 4:02:08 AM by Ulysses21

Avatar from here.

My assumption Starship Troopers was a satire.

Author of The Rules of Supervillainy, Cthulhu Armageddon, and United States of Monsters.

Finding the protagonists of Left Behind sympathetic. It took me a long time to realize that the series really only has one protagonist. And while he's spoken of as a Big Good, he's arguably even more of a monster than the series villain (if only through being more powerful than him).

I still find God sympathetic but there's a re-read online by a pastor which highlights the protagonists are racist, sexist, arrogant, self-righteous, violent, and among the most un-Christian Christians who ever lived.

Like, "The central tenant of Buddhism is every man for himself" levels of wrong.

edited 15th Mar '18 11:24:03 PM by CharlesPhipps

Author of The Rules of Supervillainy, Cthulhu Armageddon, and United States of Monsters.

Do. Not. EVER. bring up the common misconception that Charles Dickens was paid by the word around Charles Dickens fans.

The Protomen enhanced my life.

Back in college, during a Literature seminar, I realized I'd forgotten to read "A Farewell To Arms". Right during the class, I took out a cellphone, googled "Farewell Arms Hemingway read online", and clicked the first link. Hooray, a full text, adopted for a mobile screen! 30 minutes into reading, only several minutes before the professor asks me a very specific question about the novel (which I didn't know was going to happen), I realize I was reading "A Moveable Feast"....

Major writing hiding at https://omnipapers.com

I used to think the Left Behind series was good writing just because it was Christian fiction. Also, I used to think The Inheritance Cycle was really good too (and it does have its moments, particularly toward the later end of the series). But as I've grown as a writer, I've learned to recognize both series' shortcomings (especially so in the case of the LB series, considering there's so much Artistic License in it that I really have to wonder what reality they live in where the UN works like that).

Qui odoratus est qui fecit.

I thought reading Les Miserables unabridged was a good idea...

Three years later, I am still trying to read it and get past Victor Hugo's Rambling Old Man Monologue.

Edited by Spottedleaf on Sep 12th 2018 at 11:00:43 AM

Tell me about it.

Anyway, I read the J.C. Mardrus translation of the One Thousand and One Nights thinking it was the best translation without reading Antoine Gallland or Richard Francis Burton version. Mind you I still haven't read either translation myself. Yet I have read criticisms of the other two. And I am too much of a pussy to actually pick which is better to read. Even though I have not read them.

I wrote an essay in college about the Cask of Amontillado, but completely missed the whole "masons vs Catholics" rivalry. My professor was nice enough to highlight that, told me to research it, and I was able to do a rewrite. I was still very embarrassed cause I had absolutely no idea a rivalry ever even existed between the two o_O

Dark Horse Comic: http://www.crystallotuschronicles.com/comic/prophecy/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Ashleen

Actually, Juliet's father had planned to marry her off within a week. They didn't have much time to waste. And R & J were at least smart enough to not indulge in a stupid meaningless feud for no good reason.

Edited by Kickisan on Jul 4th 2020 at 3:28:30 PM

It is not like they had any romantic chemistry in the books anyway.

Somehow, I happened to think for a short while that Snape was blond. Weird...

Edited by Kickisan on Jul 4th 2020 at 12:25:55 PM

I pronounced Hermione 'Her-mee-own' at first. XD

The Protomen enhanced my life.

I tried reading the Scars of Mirrodin tie-in novel. I gave up after about twenty pages. I'd seen fanfics that were better written. The prose was awful, the plot was disjointed, and the characterization made no sense (Why is Koth mad about having people from other Planes on Mirrodin? He went out looking for them himself!). Thankfully, Barnes and Noble had a good return policy.

Nach jeder Ebbe kommt die Flut.

My father did that when he was reading it to us. That's how I thought it was pronounced for years.

You can only write so much in your forum signature. It's not fair that I want to write a piece of writing yet it will cut me off in the mid

7, 8

I put together a guide to Les Mis outlining which bits are skippable on the first read-through. I’d never have gotten through it on my first read if I’d had an unabridged version; on the other hand, some of the abridged versions leave out important bits. So this allows for custom abridgement.

I like the background on Bishop Myriel but find the parts on Waterloo and French slang to be a bit much.

My big mistake on my early reads of Les Mis was having no idea which revolution it was covering - I was very disappointed when I took a course in 19th-century French history and found out that it was a very minor and inconsequential uprising (coming only two years after a consequential and successful uprising!) that got about one sentence in the textbook.

Edited by Galadriel on Jul 9th 2020 at 5:10:07 AM

Many of my friends said they liked Wheel of Time better than Tolkien.

I made my best effort, but I've never been able to get past book 10. I finally admitted "I don't remember who half of these people are and I don't really care," during the prologue of that book. I understand even the ardent fans found book 10 challenging.

The fact that Brandon Sanderson took over the series taunts me, as I generally like his books, but I can't face using my precious reading time slogging through another two books and half-a-million words before I get to the "good parts".

I should probably disclose that I have an English degree, and I really enjoyed reading the unabridged Les Miserables.

Edited by Bense on Jul 13th 2020 at 8:18:40 AM