Pony Fanfiction Thread

On a side note the book i'm writing is in novel format but my brother is a actor so one of these days i have to find a way to convert it to a script...oy a 250 page book converted to a screen play?

Yeah, I know what you mean; I write mostly in prose, so whenever I have to do a script the stage directions always end up being really long.

the Sad thing? The book is semi unfinished, i plan to go back and add to it. It is the first book after all, it establishes the setting yet it's the shortest, the second book is 450 pages so i'm aiming to double book 1 and really flesh out the setting.

I wonder if Rotoscope had landed on Eruestria what ponies would be choosen to be the marines?

Who best represents the ideals of Sacrifice, Clarity of Mind, Idomidible Will, Protection of the Weak, Love of all Life, and Determination. Not to mention Friendship, Hope and the Light of Justice.

[The chamber is well-lit by daylight pouring in the windows. Edmond is playing a PSP when he looks up and sees the comments made by Neko and gingerninja. He puts the device on sleep mode and stands up as Twilight Sparkle crosses the room]

EDMOND
If I may say so, I think you two worry too much about the difference between script and prose. While its true that script is normally less detailed—

[Edmond takes a moment out to polish his glasses]

EDMOND
—This needs not be the case. The key is to just put down everything you see in the scene, or at least everything that stands out to you. Whether it be gestures, facial expressions, sources of strange odors, whatever!

[Twilight Sparkle turns and looks at Edmond with a raised eyebrow]

TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Ummm, sir? What exactly are you doing here in my library?

EDMOND
Answering a TV Tropes post. Why?

Ooo, TV Tropes is invading Twilight's library? Cool! *Runs over and hugs Twilight*

>.> Uh, anyway... @Moe: Chapter 1 is looking pretty good now. The changes definitely make the situation feel as dire as implied. As for Chapter 2, here are my comments:

• When Luna is dodging the glass book question, I'm surprised no one tried to see into her mind, even out of reflexive curiousity. If you're concerned about too many details getting out, you could do something like have her block them once she realizes they're looking in.
• Would Spike remember when Twilight got her cutie mark, what with him being freshly hatched and all?
• After you added those lines about Luna being really apprehensive of the book for the reason of becoming Nightmare Moon, the line “Things like this make me think becoming Nightmare Moon wasn’t such a mistake after all.” seems really out of place.
• Twilight made a face, “Wow, Luna wasn’t kidding about there being Too Much Information.” -> Reflexive Wiki Wording with too much info there?
• I also really wonder if Twilight would give up from being frusterated, especially in such a situation as this (not to mention, with her tendencies, I actually wouldn't be surprised if she got carried away with getting tangental info from the book).

Fixes/explanations:

1. I just assumed that the idea of the sun and moon being automated was so much awesomesauce for the ponies that they forgot about the book for a minute. In short, Luna's distraction worked (either that, or they just respected her wishes).

2. I was working on the assumption that either Spike heard the story at a later point (complete with re-enactment, like what the Cutie Mark Crusaders got), or else he has a very good memory. He was able to tell Fluttershy about the day he was born in the pilot episode, so I guess one of these has to be true.

3. Fixed. Now all Luna says is "Sometimes Celestia's habits get on my nerves."

4. "Too much information" is no longer capitalized. In addition I realized that line should've ended with an exclamation mark and not a period.

5. Twilight didn't give up, she just needed to take a break to cool down. I've been thinking that the Glass Book would make for some epic Wiki Walking, but at that moment—after having seen such destruction first-hand—I didn't think Twilight would be in the mood for it.

Say what would happen if Celestia got trapped in the sun, and Luna in the moon at the same time?

Trying again. I'll get this sumbitch right if it kills me. WIP, obviously, but I think I have the right rhythm : Quit Dragon Your Heels

edited 29th Jun '11 12:58:33 PM by RichReeders

so anypony bee able to look at mine yet, or is it still "locked"

Nope; still need persimmons.

Um..permission.

Set it to "anyone with the link" or "Public on the web"

edited 29th Jun '11 2:37:27 PM by RichReeders

it is set to anyone with link or so it says

There we go; now I can see it.

Thank you. I'll have to fix that error right away.

In the meantime, I'm on chapter seven, and I am stuck. 593 words and I already seem to have resolved the chapter's thing. Well, better just write more, I guess.

could be worse I'm stuck halfway though Book 4 and can't finish it, but i have a ton of ideas for Books 5 and 6

Spread it out a bit; be a bit more wordy. That'll expand thing a bit.

I don't think it's a good idea to spread out an exchange that largely consists of one character asking another for baking recipes.

No, it isn't any less stupid in the actual chapter.

edited 29th Jun '11 3:29:15 PM by Pannic

In terms of intelligence, would you say that Rarity is the second smartest Mane cast member after Twilight?

I ask because In my fic, Twilight needs help solving a case Celestia sends her. When Applejack says she's too busy she's let go, but Twilight tries to stop Rarity when she says the same thing, after several lame reasons explaining why, she comes out and says that Rarity is smart, that's why she wants her help. Would that be true?

Rarity's thing seems to be primarily clothing; she's a genius in that respect. Pinky is surprisingly intelligent, but I'm not sure even she knows that. Fluttershy's skills are with animals, but she seems well-versed in clothing, and may have other skills. Rainbow Dash thinks thinking is for losers. (Yeah, that's right. 20% more contradictory!)

edited 29th Jun '11 5:27:53 PM by RichReeders

I know that Pinkie is surprisingly smart, that's why I gave her a moment where she absent mindedly picks apart Twilight's excuses. I was thinking more about Lateral, deductive, problem-solving intelligence though, whether Rarity has more common sense and the ability to help solve a crime than the others.

It's kinda tough to judge "intelligence"; it's really a vague term. Rarity certainly isn't an idiot, but for some reason I can't see her having any more detective-type skills than the rest of the cast unless the case in questions involves her area of expertise.

Out of the whole cast, I'd say Pinkie Pie would be most likely to be good at that sort of thing. She's utilize Insane Troll Logic, but ultimately end up being right just because hey, it's Pinkie Pie.

Applejack would also be good at that sort of thing; she's not really a scholar, but she probably has more common sense than the entire rest of the cast.

Fair cop. If it makes the question more answerable, then I'm trying to think how Twilight would. She's been given a task to find a thief, Celestia's said that it's ok if her friends help out. Would Twilight consider Rarity a more reliable companion in solving something? I thought that Twilight would consider Pinkie tempermental and insane, Rainbow Dash as all around slow witted, and Fluttershy as shy to the point of catatonia when faced with mental opposition.

finished up Act 1 here

Hmmm...that's a good question. If I were doing it, I'd probably have Twilight go to Applejack first, because she's the most "down to earth" out of everyone, for the reasons you mentioned. Rarity could work, although if I was writing it I probably wouldn't have Twilight go to Rarity right off the bat. It just seems kinda weird for me that Rarity would be the first pony Twilight goes to for something like that. Then again, if I were writing it, the story would probably proceed a lot differently than you have in mind.

Although it shouldn't be too tough to have Twilight try somepony else first and not get their help for whatever reason and then get help from Rarity.

The way the scene is set out. Rainbow Dash hear's about the crime and tells Twilight. Twilight writes a letter to Celestia and recieves a reply requesting her help, aswell as other information. Twilight asks that all the other ponies be assembled at Sugar cube corner. There she explains the whole situation and asks if they want to help. Dash and Pinkie jump at the chance. Applejack says that she needs to help out at the farm but promises that she'll come back later. Rarity tries to leave too but Twilight makes several attempts to stop her.

The reason is she doesn't want to lose the only other sensible pony she has (fluttershy joins, but is mostly too shy to contribut much)