Do you want kids?

I like kids and I'm good with them, but I don't think I have the patience to deal with them 24/7. The whole "Cool Uncle/Friend of Parent" seems better for me.

About adoptions, since they have been mentioned: healthy, young kids generally do not have much difficulty being adopted. There is no shortage of couples who cannot have children for whatever reason, and their numbers will further increase when — quite predictably — gay couples will be allowed to adopt too.

There are many children in need of adoption, true; but they are usually the ones with serious disabilities or the ones who are relatively older — 6/10 years or so, for example — and come from abusive situations.

It is certainly very praiseworthy for a willing couple to adopt one or more of them and raise them in a loving environment, but this is not something that any person would be able to pull off correctly. I know of a couple who did just that (the woman was one of my primary school teachers). Both of them were highly trained educators, and they adopted four children from "difficult" situations: they did an excellent job, as far as I know, but even with all their preparation they went through some very hard times — I remember a few anecdotes, but it would not be fair to report them here.

I don't think I would be capable of doing the same.

Further, I feel shallow for saying this, but even if blood is not everything, blood is still something — in my defense, many adopted children seem to feel the same, and eventually develop an interest in learning about their biological parents. If I or my mate could not have children for whatever reason, then I would happily adopt; but otherwise, I would prefer to generate offspring through the natural way.

edited 29th May '11 11:03:28 AM by Carciofus

Hehe, I am adopted and I have never felt like less of a child to my parents.

I did not mean to imply that you were, sorry if it came off that way.

Nah, I do not care much about what people on the net say anyways, but you did not come off as offensive.

Ah, good. I know that I am treading or dangerous ground, and on ground I frankly do not know all that much about — it's just as I feel right now, it is well possible that I will change idea on this eventually.

edited 29th May '11 11:22:35 AM by Carciofus

Adoption looks rather appealing to this one, if she'll ever decides to have kids at all. As this one mentioned, she can only relate to children after learn to speak. She has no particular desire to "mold" a child to her own image or see her bloodline continued (blood relationships are nothing but accidents of birth, after all, and as such are overrated), so adoption seems like a good way of bypassing the baby stage.

Also I have a tendency to try to relate with children on their level, instead of being the "grown-up".

The thing is with being a parent is that you've got to relate with them on their level while being a grown up. You know, don't necessarily be a friend to them but still give love and affection.

I'm quite conflicted on this issue

The idea of having children and raising them, and teaching them stuff, really quite appealing

BUT....

I'm barely able to maintain sufficient focus to look after my potplants (plants in pots, not C. sativa), and that's a reason I'm refraining from getting a pet, and kids require far more time and attention

and there's the money issue; chiefly that i don't have any

and then there's the minor issue that, unless i'm going to adopt, having kids is going to require a prior relationship with a woman. and that's going to require time, attention (and money) on my part, probably more than i'm able to put in. this assumes there are women out there who'd be interested in me (this being a chief stumbling block, with me looking like both James Packer and Gina Rinehart [minus the wealth of either], and having the social awareness of a potato)

And then, there's the details like 'personality traits i don't want to curse someone else with' and 'it seems criminally insane to expose malleable children to me (or my family-everyone's nuts in some fashion by themselves. Together...wahey!)'

and other minor details

so, kids are a nice idea, I find, but not a practical idea

I must have a son and heir.

Some bald woman with a funny voice said so.

Prepare pinches of salt:

I'm informed it'll be one son, one daughter and the son of a deceased friend by adoption. My OH has fairly reliable Second Sight.

edited 30th May '11 1:09:03 AM by InverurieJones

Why would I want more parasites?

Not really. I don't think I have the patience or taste for self-sacrifice and I can't see myself relating to kids very well.

Eventually. Granted, I've already picked names that I would fight for. A boy would be named Nikola and for a girl I'd go Hedy

edited 31st May '11 1:48:56 PM by GethKnight

Pregnancy = Nightmare Fuel to me.

Certain "My Uterus Was Silent Hill" Discovery Health specials make pregnancy very deliberate high octane nightmare fuel. No way am I chancing being pregnant with a baby who has a headless baby growing inside of it.

edited 31st May '11 4:01:04 PM by Bur

I would be a terrible mother, so I don't really want kids.

... does that mean I'm one of the rare parents around? o_O

Yuk. No kids for me. They're annoying little shits.

Though I wouldn't mind being the cool uncle, I suppose...

I'd like to get married some time in the next 10 years, and if me and my wife can make it to our fifth anniversery, than the ball will be in her court.

Although I may settle for four years, if she insists, or a lack of children is a barrier to a good marriage.

Ideally I'd like a boy and a girl, older and younger. Worked out pretty well for my family.

Nes.

Yes.

Don't particularly want to be pregnant (definitely terrifying), but I do really want kids someday. I think being able to watch them grow up into people I can have conversations with would be awesome.

Plus, I'm going to tell them horrendous fibs and blow their tiny minds with science everyday, just like my dad did for me.

But yeah, at the moment I'm a poor soon-to-be grad student who can barely look after herself. And I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who really doesn't want them (not a problem atm). So if I do have them it won't be for a while. Plenty of time to get my shit together first.

edited 2nd Jun '11 2:14:49 PM by robintherose

I am an uncle already and my family blood line will likely continue on through one of my two brothers.

I am in with beholdress on this. I will guard and protect them and teach them. But I do not want them for myself.

Sort of.

Right now, there's no way I could support a kid.

That said, I can see how the concept would be appealing in the future. I think there's some good things I could pass on.

Hell no.