Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

When fighting mummies, I'm not allowed to play "Mummy Dust" by Ghost from my phone.

My bard is not allowed to enter a Body-Count Competition with the party barbarian... and tie.

edited 1st Mar '18 11:44:28 PM by Arutema

Screaming and shooting the Commissar is not an acceptable way to greet a superior

It is on Catachan, though. Only for commissars.

pretty soon the entire base learnt NOT to approach the paranoid plasma trooper from outside her field of vision.... though the Commissar was a PC so everything was fine

You do need to be properly paranoid to survive on Catachan, after all.

wasn't even a Jungle Fighter, we were a custom regiment from an ice world (and the GM had foolishly allowed Paranoid to be taken at Character Creation and made a Plasma Gun the Regimental Favoured Weapon)

...That seems unwise.

Yeah, that's a recipe for disaster

she learnt, next regiment didn't have paranoid and the Regiment Favoured Weapon was a Long Las (boooo!)

Apparently making a hacker and part time gangsta rapper character named DM.EXE (and based on DMX) is just too ridiculous.

To be fair trying to sell the idea with the line "Ya'll gonna make me lose my files, up in here, up in here" was overdoing it.

how many drinks had you had by that point?

also..... I am hereby no longer allowed to pull out my own personal Book of Grude's whenever a member of the party makes a bad pun..... and the campaign has not even started yet

Give the Orb of Probably Doom back to the Cleric immediately

I am to stop using Mage Hand Legerdamain to pickpocket my team mates.

I am not allowed to cast invisibility on myself and sneak off the battlefield without explicate permission.

edited 11th Mar '18 7:29:31 PM by Belisaurius

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON" and "SORRY" are entirely inappropriate battlecries.

Just because your group's paladin has been chosen as a herald of a good-aligned god does not make his urine Holy Water.

In the future, I am to refrain from punching the bouncer to the local Bad Guy Bar in the face. Yes, we are level 20, yes we got in anyways, yes we got rezzed at the end of the session because the main villain was toying with us anyways, and yes, even though I am a fairly tanky spellblade type of character, it was the bard who got hit with the Infinity +1 Sword instead.

edited 5th Jun '18 7:29:30 PM by OmegaShadowcry

But it was the bard.

That reminds me, I think I should propose a new rule to my group - if someone else in the group dies due to your boneheaded move that was blatantly idiotic without metagaming, revival comes out of the pocket of the instigator, not the group's general revival funds.

This has come up way too many times.

The Party Paladin does not appreciate the semantic difference between "Aiming the Fire Spell at the Monk" and "Just not caring if he was in the way"

The monk totally deserved it though <.< >.>

• If a party member is inflicted with hearing the voice of Demogorgon in their head, it is not in the form of a passive-aggressive teenager who occasionally suggests killing everyone.
• If a party member has access to Wall of Force, never give them the opportunity to fight an aboleth unless you want a Fishbowl of Shame.
  • Definitely do not put the character belonging to a player who was unable to attend within that Fishbowl of Shame.
    • Definitely definitely do not put the other character belonging to a player who was unable to attend and is also secretly dominated by the aboleth in the Fishbowl of Shame. Because justifying why the cleric won't fight or heal the downed barbarian and not just killing the barbarian with the aboleth requires Olympic-level mental gymnastics.
• Never forget that Dispel Magic is a spell and don't plan an entire massive encounter that is easily avoided by that spell.
• Do not make a Circle of Spores Druid if the campaign is taking place in the Shadowfell. Literally everything there ignores poison damage.

Half of these sound more like lessons learned the hard way than prohibitions.

The last one reminds me of Attack of the Undead Displacer Elemental Plant-Ooze Constructs.

Prohibitions are really just enforced learning of the table's rules.

One (1) acquires prohibitions from witnessing what doesn't work.

That is to say, yes, they all happened and I aim to not let them happen again.

I'm allowed to play a Loxodon.

I'm allowed to play a Loxodon Paladin.

I'm allowed to play a Loxodon Paladin with the Oath of Conquest.

I'm not allowed to name him Hannibal

And he does not get Favored Terrain:"Alps"....