Blog / Texts from Superheroes

Hulk: STOP CHASING HULK!!!
Gen. Ross: How are you even texting?
Hulk: STARK MADE HULK BIG PHONE!!!
Gen. Ross: Did Stark teach you how to turn off the caps lock?
Hulk: yes.

Texts from Superheroes is a comedy blog focused around images of texts between various superheroes (generally comics from Marvel and DC, though movie-verse jokes are made as well), and occasionally characters from other fiction. It's expanded into also doing sketches. The blog makes fun of characters, concepts and various other aspects of superhero comics/movies. Certainly worth a read, even if you aren't that knowledgeable about superhero comics. Find it here. The creators also have a Youtube channel entitled Sketch From Superheroes.

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Tropes:

• 419 Scam: Thor fell for one, to Iron Man's dismay.
• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Tony manages to make Cyber Monday sentient, "and it is pissed about these deals!"
• Ain't No Rule: As Vulture notes, there ain't no real law against stealing people's youth.
• The Alcoholic: One of the earliest jokes was about Iron Man's drinking habit.
• All Myths Are True: According to Doctor Strange, every religion is right... except Scientology. "Not even close."
• Almighty Mom: Gender-flipped. Thor would rather that Tony make a Thor-buster armor as a contingency plan in case Thor goes rogue, rather than call his father Odin◊.
• Ambiguously Gay: Mr. Terrific has a weird obsession with balls.
• Arbitrary Skepticism:
  • Inverted. Robin points out that with all the crazy stuff in the DC universe going on, why wouldn't he believe that the Easter Bunny is real?
  • Iron Fist believes in Santa for similar reasons, and the Richards family chooses to "play it safe" when it comes to St. Nick◊.
• Armor-Piercing Response: Batman texting the wrong person turns into one of these:
  Batman: Tell me, do you bleed?
  Supergirl: I hope you meant to send this to Superman. This is Supergirl, and the answer is yes, once a month since I was 14. Don't message me.
  Batman: And we're done here. You win.
• Awesome Aussie: Invoked, in that Captain Boomerang is actually from Brooklyn but he really liked Crocodile Dundee, so that's what he based his awesome supervillain persona on.
• Bedlam House: Harley and Bane discuss Arkham.
• Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Or rather Jesus is a mutant, implied to be Wolverine of all people assuming Cable isn't trolling.
• Blackmail: How Rip Hunter got Captain Cold to join his team.
• Blunt "Yes": Robin's response to an obvious question.
• Bothering by the Book: Cap is really reluctant to help Iron Man on account of the Sokovia accords. Until...
  Tony: You were right, okay?! You were right! Just get out here! Please.
  Steve: Did that hurt?
  Tony: Even more than getting punched by the giant purple guy. Which hurt a lot! Bring band-aids.
• Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: One text is a conversation between Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson. Sam invites Bucky to a therapy session for people who were snapped out of existence and came back five years later. Bucky declines because he's already gotten used to it due to Hydra unfreezing him for a task him every few years. When Sam asks if Bucky has any advice, Bucky tells him: 1) just smile and nod when people talk to you about pop culture stuff. 2) Don't bother to update your wardrobe because fashion is cyclical. and 3) Kill whoever you're told to kill. Bucky then concludes that maybe therapy isn't such a bad idea.
• Brain Bleach: Supergirl agrees to take a quick look into every building in the city to find a bomb, and sees some things she wishes she hadn't.
  Supergirl: I need to fly through the sun and clean my eyeballs.
• Butterface: The term itself is never actually used, but Poison Ivy seems to think that Swamp Thing fits the description◊.
• Brought Down to Normal: The Justice League lets Superman know that this trope is no excuse to sit out a mission.
• Captain Crash: Captain America is on a no-fly list due to his track record with anything that flies. As Hawkeye points out, his motorbikes don't fare much better; he has a habit of using them as projectile weapons.
• Color Character: Discussed. What do you mean White Tiger isn't white? It's in her name, isn't it?◊
• Companion Cube: "No don't hurt Battle Van he's my best friend."
• Clark Kenting: Actually not effective, as Metallo used facial recognition and Luthor already knew - having ignored it purely so Clark Kent wouldn't fight crime 24/7.
• Crazy-Prepared:
  • Just in case Robin asks Superman to peek at Christmas presents...
  • Hawkeye has an exploding water-arrow in case of fire monsters.
  Black Widow: You're dumb.
  Hawkeye: That's not what you'll be saying when the fire monsters show up.
• Crisis of Faith: Daredevil asks Doctor Strange if God is real. Strange casually confirms that He is, and so is the Devil. "I fought him a few times. He's a real jerk."
  Daredevil: Wow. Okay, that was easy.
• Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Discussed here.
• Dating Catwoman: Clark asks Bruce outright concerning the trope namer.
• Deadpan Snarker: Many, many punchlines appear to be delivered in this fashion. Batman is probably the most frequent perpetrator.
  Batman: I could give you some bat tracking devices so you can track [your clothes].◊
  Superman: I'm pretty sure those things cost more than my clothes do.
  Batman: Everything I own costs more than your clothes do.

  Green Arrow: That's not fair. Would you hang out with someone who bathes in Kryptonite◊?
  Superman: My best friend keeps a piece of it on his belt at all times.
  Green Arrow: You need better friends man.

  Robin: Don't expect me to be stealthy with a hacking cough.
  Batman: Have you seen your costume? I never expect you to be stealthy.
• Discredited Meme: In-Universe Ant-Man was really not too keen on the whole crawl-up-into-Thanos'-ass-while-tiny-and expand-to-GiAnt-Man-size plan.
• Does This Remind You of Anything?: This conversation between Shou-Lao and Iron Fist sounds an awful lot like a person running into an old one-night stand.
• Doomy Dooms of Doom: Lex Luthor apparently thinks he's a hero, despite the fact that, as Joker points out, the name of the team he leads isn't exactly noble◊.
• The Dreaded: The Punisher is this for Taskmaster.◊
• Especially Zoidberg: "We are all related." "Even the dog?" "Especially the dog."
• Even Evil Has Standards: When Iron Man and Tony are discussing how The Mandarin is the villain of Iron Man 3, Red Skull◊ pops in just to say how even he finds the character offensive.
• Everyone Has Standards: General Ross doesn't take to kindly to recruiting Child Soldiers.
  Gen. Ross: I saw footage of the airport battle, Tony. That spider guy isn't registered. He has to sign the accords.
  Iron Man: Yeah, about that, can we add a spot for a parental signature? Well legal guardian actually. Surprisingly hot legal guardian.
  Gen. Ross: Parental signature? ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU RECRUITED A CHILD SOLDIER!?
  Iron Man: I didn't recruit him. I just threatened to tell his Aunt if he didn't help out.
  Gen. Ross: So you blackmailed a kid into fighting a war?
  Iron Man: Yeah blackmail definitely sounds like what I did.
• Evil Lawyer Joke: Daredevil suggests Spiderman get a lawyer and sue the ''Daily Bugle for libel, only to get a joke about how horrible lawyers are. Daredevil says it's absolutely not hurtful◊.
• Fearless Fool: "No, I'm Daredevil. I'm the man without fear."
• Fictional Holiday: This conversation between the Guardians of the Galaxy contains some alien examples of weird holidays. One of them isn't even real and was just made-up as an excuse to eat garbage.
• Fish out of Temporal Water: There have been several jokes about Captain America being behind the times, so to speak. Wolverine's amnesia makes him a perfect foil for Cap in this type of joke.
• Formula-Breaking Episode: There have been a couple of times where they've done texts between non-superhero characters. Examples include Mario and Luigi and Han Solo and Luke Skywalker
• Girlfriend in Canada: Odin thinks Thor is using this as a cover◊ for secretly being gay.
• Grievous Harm with a Body: Luke Cage gets an interim job on the Avengers as Cap's substitute shield after Ultron breaks the real one.
• Hammerspace: Lampshaded with Black Widow◊.
  Iron Man: You're in a skintight leather outfit, how are you storing more weapons than me?
  Black Widow: You should see me play Tetris.
• Harmless Villain: Mysterio, much to his dismay.
• Heh Heh, You Said "X": Perhaps unsurprisingly, Deadpool is more than willing◊ to invoke this trope:
  Deadpool: So, can you offer me employment with The Hand?
  Elektra: Sure, I'll give you a shot.
  Deadpool: Shot means?
  Elektra: A job.
  Deadpool: Working for?
  Elektra: The Hand.
  Deadpool: So what you're saying is...
  Elektra: I'm offering you a Hand Job!
  Deadpool: BAHAHAHAHAH! You said it! Yes!
  Elektra: Ugh. I'm sending so many assassins after you for this.
  Deadpool: I REGRET NOTHING!
• Highly-Visible Ninja: Batman is well aware that Robin's costume makes him easy to see◊.
• Informed Ability: Even Thanos doesn't know why people fear him.
• Instant Costume Change: Flash gets naked in front of everyone...only for a microsecond
  Green Lantern: Can't Superman see you moving at Super-Speed?
  Flash: Oh yeah. He's seen EVERYTHING.
• Just Here for Godzilla: Just Here For Miles Morales. Lampshaded here.
• Kryptonite-Proof Suit: Supergirl asks Superman why she was never informed of the existence of Kryptonite-proof suits. He explains his enemies would not leave him alone if he was totally invulnerable. And when he says "enemies", he means Batman.
• Lack of Empathy: Spidey toward Sandman.
• Lampshade Hanging: A common theme— everything from nonsensical character names to poorly designed costumes is pointed out and discussed.
  • Here concerning the "non-lethal" batmobile from Batman: Arkham Knight.
• Large Ham: Among others, Thor shares this quality with his MCU counterpart. He uses very ornate English and gets excited over almost everything.
• Logical Weakness:
  • The ability to copy anyone's fighting style and predict their every move doesn't really help against someone whose fighting style is "a roof, a sniper rifle, and a bullet."
  • Illusion powers don't work on someone who's blind. Daredevil didn't even notice that Mysterio was trying to trick him.
• Mad Scientist: Krypton's Council might not have been wrong about Jor-El after all...
• Major Injury Underreaction: Deadpool considers getting shot with 1300 arrows and nearly 100 harpoons as just "a helluva day" for him.
  Hawkeye: WHO DID YOU PISS OFF?!
  Deadpool: Same people who hit me with the 1300 arrows. Ninja whalers. It's been a helluva day.
• Mister Seahorse: Sue Storm of the Fantastic Four once told Reed Richards he couldn't handle pregnancy—but then later she walked in on him trying to impregnate himself with his Pregnancy Laser 2.0.
  Johnny: ...what happened to the Pregnancy Laser 1.0?
  Sue: I've been scared to ask.
• Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: Lampshaded here.
• Mundane Made Awesome: Just like in his films, Thor gets excited over things that Midgardians take for granted:
  Thor: I am already here, Friend Stark. Let us meet in aisle 4◊.
  Iron Man: Is Hulk there?
  Thor: No, but the price of these Pringles is incredible, on this, your darkest of Fridays.
• Mundane Utility:
  • Spider-Man uses his webbing to make hammocks.
  • Black Lightning uses his electric powers to power his own house.
  • Villainous example—Ra's al Ghul uses the Lazarus Pit for reviving dead plants and even turkeys.
  Ra's al Ghul: I've fed this league on the same turkey for 350 years!
  • Magneto requests for Professor X to psychoanalyze some teammates, whilst Charles asks him to assist with MRIs for his.
  Magneto: What happened to us, Charles?
  Xavier: The recession, mostly.
  • Barry Allen gets a job wrapping Christmas presents at a mall. Downside, he does it so fast he sends a few through time. Upside, Iris got an iPhone 9 years in advance.
• My Brain Is Big: Discussed by The Leader and MODOK. The Leader points out that Dr. Doom is at least as smart as they are, but he has a normal-sized head. He eventually comes to the conclusion that he and MODOK are idiots for allowing their heads to swell to such massive sizes.
• My New Gift Is Lame:
  • Hal and Carol aren't exactly on the same gift-giving page◊.
  • Batman may be rich, but giving good gifts is apparently one of the many superpowers he does not have◊.
  • Batman also enjoys invoking this, dropping by the Daily Planet just to give Lois Lane misinformation about what gifts Clark would like.
• No Backwards Compatibility in the Future: Cable provides a data packet for preventing a future apocalypse; however, it's on a device with a little triangular port that's not compatible with any present-day connectors. Professor X concludes that they'll just have to watch ongoing tech developments and hope the triangle-port connector comes on the market while there's still time to act on the information.
• Non-Indicative Name: Tony doesn't quite get that the Immortal Iron Fist isn't literally immortal.
• No OSHA Compliance: M.O.D.O.K. tries to avert this, but it turns out it makes it very easy for other Avengers to disguise themselves and get close to him.
  M.O.D.O.K.: These suits are not idiotic they're chemical suits. You never know when you're going to work with chemicals. Safety first.
  Iron Man: BTW the four guys nearest to you are Hawkeye, Cap, Widow, and Panther in AIM disguises.
  M.O.D.O.K.: Safety can go to hell I hate these suits.
• Not So Above It All:
  • Batman, at times. This is especially evident when he "unofficially" endorses Wonder Woman crashing her invisible jet into Lex Luthor's house.
  • Reed Richards has a moment when Doctor Doom tries to use his diplomatic immunity to get away with his latest crime and Reed retaliates by calling Thor and Black Panther, who also have diplomatic immunity, to deal with him and sends the mocking Spongebob meme when Doom complains.
• N-Word Privileges: Unless Logan was just trolling, wolverines (and Wolverine himself) have one◊:
  Phoenix: Skunk Bear is another name for Wolverines?
  Wolverine: Yeah but it's our word. You can't use it.
• Off with His Head!: Bucky and The Falcon both had trouble using Steve's shield at first:
  Falcon: For the first while did you... umm...
  Bucky: Accidentally decapitate people? Most definitely.
• Omnidisciplinary Scientist: Doctor Strange is quick to remind people that his title isn't just for show.
• Once Done, Never Forgotten: Batman will never let Green Arrow forget about Speedy doing drugs.
• Our Centaurs Are Different: Apparently, one of the things Tony did during a New Year's Party that Thor held was a centaur mare named Carolyn.◊
• Paper-Thin Disguise: In the "yes it's really me online, guys" flavor, with Tony skeptical on whether or not to invite Bruce to Thanksgiving, not sure if he'll get Bruce of The Hulk...
  Black Widow: Just say hi and see how he responds before you invite him. It's easy to tell if it's Bruce or Hulk.
  Hawkeye: I dunno, Hulk's gotten better at pretending to be Bruce via text lately. But I'll add him to group chat...
  "Bruce":^note his user icon is half Hulk, half Bruce EINSTEIN SMART. BLACK HOLES STRONG! I IS PUNY BRUCE!
  Hawkeye: I just can't tell.
• Paranoia Fuel: In-universe, Tony Stark tends to keep SHIELD brass up at night. Take, for example, his plans for celebrating the Fourth◊...
  Nick Fury: WHAT IS HE DOING?!
  Captain America: Just planning a party. In Boston. On a boat. With $2 million worth of British tea he imported.
• Poke the Poodle: Poison Ivy is not used to traditional crime.
• Power Perversion Potential: Flash has a "vibrate setting."
• Present Peeking: One Robin asks Superman to come over and x-ray his presents. Supes refuses, not because it's against the Christmas spirit, but because the last time he tried it, Batman decorated the tree in Kryptonite.
• Pun:
  • "I'm broken, Steve, I'm broken!" "Well, lucky for you, AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!" Bucky is not amused.
    Bucky: I'll come back if you never pun again.
    Captain America: No deal!
  • Batman doesn't want to listen to Robin's stories.◊ He says it's just too many puns, he can't take it.
  • In Iron Fist's defense, this one was slightly forced◊.
  • "There's a reason we don't call you She-Joker, Harley."
• A Rare Sentence: "Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Star Lord, Shang-Chi, and Katy saved planet Earth with a karaoke dance party."
• Razor Apples: There isn't any ever, as it's an urban legend, but that doesn't stop Superman from flying over the city to check who has the best haul.
• Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud: A transcribing the verbal instructions into a text message variation.
• Real Men Wear Pink:
  • Wolverine celebrates Remembrance Day, complete with wearing a red poppy. Cyclops gives him grief for getting all mushy about him wearing a flower based on a poem. Wolverine threatens to get all stabby on him.
  • He's also not afraid to admit that he's cried
• Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense: The times Batman flaunts his wealth could take up its own separate article. For example: there's a lot of sharp dressed homeless people in Gotham thanks to him disposing of his suits like used napkins.◊
• The Scapegoat: One conversation has Superman and Jimmy discussing Lois' upcoming birthday. When Jimmy suggests Superman give Lois her own signal watch, Supes says it's a best friends thing. After Jimmy asks why, Superman reveals that he gave him the watch so that Supes' enemies kidnap him and leave Lois alone.
• Screw the Rules, I Have Money!:
  • Referenced when Batman says he'll take Damien as a sidekick while keeping the current Robin as a spare.
    Superman: You know children aren't toys, right?
    Batman: When you're as rich as me everything's a toy, Clark.
  • Iron Man explicitly mentions that the best power someone can have is being a rich white guy◊.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here:
  • When told that the Hulk has gone on an insane rampage, Cap, Thor and Widow immediately get scarce◊.
  • After Hawkeye asks to be the token male on the all-female Avengers, this is his reaction when She-Hulk tells him he'll have to suffer the same things the token females normally endure on all-male teams.
  • Dr. Doom announces to the world he's defeated the Fantastic Four. The Avengers, the X-Men, the Defenders, and the Heroes for Hire all call dibs, until Iron Man just suggests they all go together to make this easy. Doom, well...
    Dr. Doom: Fuck it! Nevermind! I'm opening a bakery instead.
• Servile Snarker: Alfred puts it quite nicely...
• Skewed Priorities: Apparently, vilifying Spider-Man trumps more urgent news for J. Jonah Jameson.
  Jameson: I can see the headline now! "Spider-Man! Hot-dog Thief!"
  Peter Parker: Sir, there's a Presidential election we're not covering.
  Jameson: Spider-Man is a menace!
• Solve the Soup Cans: Chris and Jill lampshade Raccoon City's tendency to do this.
• Stating the Simple Solution: After Iron Fist finds out Luke Cage is filling as Cap's shield:
  Iron Fist: He throws you?! Like his shield? How do you come back?
  Luke Cage: I walk, I'm still a person Danny.
• Stealth Hi/Bye: Discussed here.
• Superman Stays Out of Gotham: Enforced by Batman himself.
• Surprisingly Realistic Outcome:
  • What happens when a guy douses himself in radiation trying to get Hulk's powers.
  • Another conversation has Lois telling Clark that according to the doctor, she's got radiation poisoning. He asked if she works with x-rays...which she does, without knowing it.
  • No Thor, you can't charge household objects with lightning the same way you do with Tony's armor.◊
• Suspiciously Specific Denial:
  • Clint's really not helping himself here...
  • "Just a guess. Nothing Illuminati about it."
• Take That!: One instance has Batman announcing that Luthor has come up with a new plan to vilify him and Superman — he's hired Zack Snyder to make a movie about them.
• Tempting Fate: "One more set-up and he may go to war with a friend."
• Time Crash: The inconsistencies on the MCU timeline in Civil War and Homecoming are attributed to Doctor Strange meddling with time.
• Too Much Information: Batman texts "Do you bleed?" to Supergirl rather than her cousin by mistake. She retorts that yes, she does, ever since she was 14, and he shouldn't call her. Batman immediately concedes.
• Troll:
  • Loki in a nutshell. Occasionally while impersonating Odin. Though, on occasion, Thor turns the tables.
  • Doctor Doom's new plan for world domination seems to be to just dick around on the internet.◊
• Verbal Backspace:
  • Tony gives Steve an online dating profile.
  Steve: And there were replies?
  Tony: Uh, yeah. Women, men, heroes, villains, talking raccoons, Pepper, which kind of annoyed me. All told you got 800 responses!
  Steve: Forgetting the ones that were from Coulson?
  Tony: You got 200 responses!
  • Ghost Rider does this while talking about a Halloween party invitation Iron Man has given him.
  Iron Man: Hey Ghost Rider, want to work in my Haunted Penthouse on Halloween?
  Ghost Rider: I only work for vengeance.
  Iron Man: There'll be supermodels!
  Ghost Rider: And sometimes I work for you. I'm in. I'll bring my best flames.
• Verbal Tic: On more than◊ one occasion◊, Thor refers to Tony and Bruce as "Friend Stark" and "Friend Banner" respectively. Interestingly, he doesn't use that title with anyone else.
• Villains Out Shopping: Gorilla Grodd is willing to go to the movies to watch Star Wars.
  Superman: Are you going to do anything about it?
  Flash: I'm not going to let him sit in front of me, that's for sure.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: Robin sometimes comes off as desperate for Batman's approval◊.
• Weaksauce Weakness:
  • Turns out Mysterio's natural weakness is Daredevil's blindness.
  • Batman compiles a list of his fellow heroes' weaknesses. However, Wonder Woman knows better than to reveal any of hers.
  Batman: You're saying you don't have any weaknesses?
  Wonder Woman: I'm saying if I did I wouldn't be dumb enough to tell people what they are.
• What Did I Do Last Night?:
  • Luthor had one wild Halloween. After going to a Halloween party as Superman, he got drunk enough to jump out a window. Supes caught him before he could splat and Luthor tried to kiss him. The Joker, who tells him, finds it completely hilarious.
  • Gambit can't remember what he did at that party last night.
  • Tony's New Years Eve party was especially hazy after Thor made the scene◊
• Who Shot JFK?: Implied to be Bucky, though Cap somehow failed to noticed.
• Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: The Punisher's advice to Spider-Man on taking out the Green Goblin. Spiderman refuses because the Goblin is also his best friend's dad.
• Workout Fanservice: How Captain America got 70 million Snapchat followers in one day.
• Worth It: As stated under Pun, Cap would rather give up having Bucky on the Avengers than the chance to keep making puns.
  • Deadpool goaded Elektra into saying he was given a hand job. The threat of assassins sent after him did not ruin the moment for him.
• With Friends Like These...: Cap is still a little raw about his fight with Thor◊:
  Captain America: Wait, are you saying I asked you to stop fighting and you responded by legitimately trying to kill me?!
  Thor: I suppose I did!
  Captain America: ~_~;

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