Spike: [as Distressed Damsel] "How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad, hunk of a night thing?"

[as Angel] "No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair! Never the hair!"

"But there must be some way I can show my appreciation."

"No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!"

"I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so..."

"Ah. Say no more. Evil's still afoot ... and I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly! To the Angelmobile — AWAY!"

Cordelia and Wesley re-enacting the Saga of Buffy and Angel.

Wesley: I love you so much I almost forgot to BROOD!

"Look at you."

"Spike."

"You're a-"

"SPIKE!"

"YOU'RE A BLOODY PUPPET!"

"Numfar! Do the dance of Joy!" Followed closely by... "No longer do the Dance of Joy, Numfar!"

..."Numfar! Do the dance of Honor!"

Even funnier when you know that it's Joss Whedon playing 'Numfar'

The season two opener, where the Host (Lorne) walks onstage, looking devious and ominous.

And then, out of the blue, he sings "I Will Survive" by Diana Ross.

Darla walks in the front door.

Angel: "Darla?"

Wesley "Darla?"

Cordelia: "Darla?"

Fred: "Who's Darla?"

Gunn: "Angel's old flame from way back."

Fred: "Not the one who died?"

Gunn: "Yeah, No not that one, the other one who died and came back to life, she's a vampire."

Fred: "Do y'all have a chart or something?"

Gunn: "In the files I'll get it for you later."

Spike: It's bollocks, Angel! It's your brand of bollocks from the first to last.

Angel: "No, you can't ever see the big picture. You can't see any picture!"

Spike: "I am talking about something primal. Right? Savagery. Brutal animal instinct."

Angel: "And that wins out every time with you. You know, the human race has evolved, Spike!"

Spike: "Oh, into a bunch of namby-pamby, self-analyzing wankers who could never hope to—"

Angel: "We're bigger. We're smarter. Plus, there's a thing called teamwork, not to mention the superstitious terror of your pure aggressors!"

Spike: "You just want it to be the way you want it to be."

Angel: (yelling) "It's not about what I want!"

Wesley walks in on their argument.

Wesley: "Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?"

Angel: (embarrassed) "No."

Wesley: "It just...sounds a little serious."

Angel: "It was mostly...theoretical. We..."

Spike: "We were just working out a b— Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?"

(Spike crosses his arms and looks expectantly at Wesley)

Wesley: "Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this?"

(they both look embarassed. Wesley considers...)

Wesley: "Do the astronauts have weapons?"

Angel & Spike: "No."

"The Government gave me bad hair!"

Lorne and Angel walk up to a masculine hairy demon.

Lorne: "Hi Mom."

Angel: "Mom?"

After Darla tells Angelus and Spike she slept with The Immortal:

Spike: "She's glowing, mate."

Angelus: "She isn't."

Darla: "Little bit."

Spike: "Best fit you for a pair of antlers. Been made the right cuckold, you have."

Drusilla steps out from the next room wearing a lacy negligee

Drusilla: "Time for another pony ride?"

Beat

Spike: "Son of a bitch!"

Later outside The Immortal's Party

Spike: Yeah, the man has no sense of indecency. You remember Frankfurt? He hatches the Rathruhn egg personally and just decides to give those nuns safe passage.

Angelus: "Those were MY nuns!"

Spike: Yeah. Nuns are YOUR THING. Everybody knows that. They respect it. They respect us.

Puppet!Angel "firing" Fred for saying how cute he is.